FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Wanna hear a joke about my d**k??
Wanna hear a joke about my d**k??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never mind , it's too long 
Will be here all week "
Little old lady tourist speaking to Scotsman: Is anything worn under the kilt?
Scotsman: No my dear, it's all in good working order. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Little old lady tourist: What's under the kilt?
Scotsman: Feel for yourself lass.
Little old lady, feels under the kilt then yanks her hand away: Oh my God, it's gruesome!!
Scotsman: Feel again dearie, it grew some more.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never mind , it's too long
Will be here all week "
Lassy: "Laddy, I can tell yeh be wantin' to be holdin' me hand."
Laddy: "And how can yeh be tellin' that?"
Lassy: "I can tell by the twinkle in yer eye..."
(a while later)
Lassy: "Laddy, I can tell yeh be wantin' to put yer arms around me."
Laddy: "And how can yeh be tellin' that?"
Lassy: "I can tell by the twinkle in yer eye..."
(a little while later)
Lassy: "Laddy, I can tell yeh be wantin' to be lovin' me."
Laddy: "And how can ye be tellin' that, by the twinkle in me eye?"
Lassy: "No Laddy, I can tell by the tilt in yer kilt." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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WHAT A SCOTSMAN WEARS UNDER HIS KILT
PreviousNext
A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree.
As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."
She boldly walked over to the sleeper, raised his kilt, and saw that he wore nothing at all. Her friend said, "Well, the mystery is solved! Let's thank him for sharing!"
She took off her pretty blue hair ribbon and gently tied it around the Scotsman's endowment. A while later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature. He raised his kilt and was bewildered at the sight of the neatly tied blue ribbon. He stared for a minute, then said, "I don't know where y'been laddie... but it's nice ta see you won firrrst prrrize!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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NO PUN INTENDED JUST A JOKE
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman. "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman. "I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman. "But I seem to have lost my appetite."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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THE SCOTT'S POCKET WATCH
These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time.
"That's a fine watch you got there!" says the other.
"Yeah it is, isn't it? I got it from my grandfather," says the guy with the watch.
"Really?"
"Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed." |
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"WHAT A SCOTSMAN WEARS UNDER HIS KILT
PreviousNext
A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree.
As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."
She boldly walked over to the sleeper, raised his kilt, and saw that he wore nothing at all. Her friend said, "Well, the mystery is solved! Let's thank him for sharing!"
She took off her pretty blue hair ribbon and gently tied it around the Scotsman's endowment. A while later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature. He raised his kilt and was bewildered at the sight of the neatly tied blue ribbon. He stared for a minute, then said, "I don't know where y'been laddie... but it's nice ta see you won firrrst prrrize!" "
Thanks for brightning up a lousy wet day with your jokes.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"THE SCOTT'S POCKET WATCH
These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time.
"That's a fine watch you got there!" says the other.
"Yeah it is, isn't it? I got it from my grandfather," says the guy with the watch.
"Really?"
"Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed." "
OK I think I opened Friday let's get the Scots Guy jokes out lolololol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Or a crunchie
I bring the crunchies and you bring the Hoodie lolol
Ya know that homework excuse everyone used "
You serious .... the dog ate it lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or a crunchie
I bring the crunchies and you bring the Hoodie lolol
Ya know that homework excuse everyone used
You serious .... the dog ate it lmao "
Never said that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Englishman Irishman and Scotsman where are aristocrats during the French Revolution they were captured are the Aristocats had to meet the guillotine but foreigners had to face upwards towards the blade Englishman with first French man pulled the string to released the blade set blade stops 1 inch from his throat English man you are very lucky you can go Scotsman is next a French man pulls the strain and release of the blade it stops one inch from his throat scatman you are very lucky you can go Irish man is next the French man was just about to pull the string to release the blade stop stop stop shouts the Irishman I see where it's getting stuck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A Scotsman goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a nice-looking prostitute.
He asks her, 'How much dae ye charge for an hour?' '€100,' she replies.
So he asks, 'Okay, dae ye dae it Scottish style?' She says 'No!'
He then says 'I'll gie you €200 to dae it Scottish style'. She didn't even know what 'Scottish style' was, but again says, 'No',
He then offers her €300, but she declines his offer, so finally he says,
'Last chance. I'll gie ye €500 to go Scottish style wi' me!'
Finally she agrees, thinking, 'Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've been there and done that, had every kind of request from weirdos from every corner of the world. How bad could 'Scottish style; be?'
So she goes ahead and has sex with him, doing it in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after several intense hours they finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, 'That was really fantastic. I've never enjoyed it so much. But I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. Where does the 'Scottish style' come in?'
The Scotsman replies, 'I'll pay ye next week'
BOOM BOOM !!!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A Scotsman goes into a brothel in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a nice-looking prostitute.
He asks her, 'How much dae ye charge for an hour?' '€100,' she replies.
So he asks, 'Okay, dae ye dae it Scottish style?' She says 'No!'
He then says 'I'll gie you €200 to dae it Scottish style'. She didn't even know what 'Scottish style' was, but again says, 'No',
He then offers her €300, but she declines his offer, so finally he says,
'Last chance. I'll gie ye €500 to go Scottish style wi' me!'
Finally she agrees, thinking, 'Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've been there and done that, had every kind of request from weirdos from every corner of the world. How bad could 'Scottish style; be?'
So she goes ahead and has sex with him, doing it in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after several intense hours they finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, 'That was really fantastic. I've never enjoyed it so much. But I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. Where does the 'Scottish style' come in?'
The Scotsman replies, 'I'll pay ye next week'
BOOM BOOM !!!!!!! "
Did she hit ya a slap  |
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