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An idiots guide to safe sex (the alternative listing)

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

So the importance of safe sex is obvious for most of us, but for those who would like a simple primer here's how I prepare myself for a safe meet.

Hi Vis vest: if the lights are off it's often hard to find your partner wearing a low cut luminous vest can be a great way to not loose your partner in a dark room, club or for our dogging friends the forest.

Hard Hat: During an intense mmf, mfm, mfmf, etc. Nothing could be worse than getting concussion and loosing your mojo by being thwacked on the head by a big hard cock. With a good hard hat you can play away close to the action without the worries of serious head injuries.

Safety glasses. As in the above situation avoid serious dick eye injuries with a good sturdy pair of safety eyewear.

Safety shoes: with the increased availability use of glass and steel sex toys, (yes I am talking about you njoy pure plug) the risk of foot injuries in the boudoir has seen an increase in foot related injuries. These boots can also prove useful for couples when meeting others who may want to step on your toes.

Hearing Protection: how often have you come back from a meet with a vocal lover only to realise that all the passionate moaning and screaming in your has left you with a buzzing in your ear and hard of hearing. I find the big noise reduction type are the best myself.

Safety Harness: whether at heights or near a hole that has unknown depth, always play safe. Some of the more trendy garnish can have that fetish look so you well be safe and look the part too.

That's it folks. Play safe and have fun.

Please feel free to add to this list as I am sure some of you out there have some good practices yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye. "

Sure I hear it's great for removing cakes on mascara

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye.

Sure I hear it's great for removing cakes on mascara "

Ha! I wouldn't know,I never wear the stuff

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By *j47Man  over a year ago

limerick


"Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye.

Sure I hear it's great for removing cakes on mascara

Ha! I wouldn't know,I never wear the stuff "

The mascara or the semen

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye.

Sure I hear it's great for removing cakes on mascara

Ha! I wouldn't know,I never wear the stuff

The mascara or the semen "

Semen, the new fashion accessory. It's making quite a splash.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye.

Sure I hear it's great for removing cakes on mascara

Ha! I wouldn't know,I never wear the stuff

The mascara or the semen "

That Sir, would be telling

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/10/16 20:16:36]

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye.

Sure I hear it's great for removing cakes on mascara

Ha! I wouldn't know,I never wear the stuff

The mascara or the semen

That Sir, would be telling "

Look into my eyes and tell me that.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye.

Sure I hear it's great for removing cakes on mascara

Ha! I wouldn't know,I never wear the stuff

The mascara or the semen

That Sir, would be telling

Look into my eyes and tell me that. "

I know what happens when I look into your eyes

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye.

Sure I hear it's great for removing cakes on mascara

Ha! I wouldn't know,I never wear the stuff

The mascara or the semen

That Sir, would be telling

Look into my eyes and tell me that.

I know what happens when I look into your eyes "

I have no idea what you are talking about. Enlighten me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye.

Sure I hear it's great for removing cakes on mascara

Ha! I wouldn't know,I never wear the stuff

The mascara or the semen

That Sir, would be telling

Look into my eyes and tell me that.

I know what happens when I look into your eyes

I have no idea what you are talking about. Enlighten me "

I have to rush off for the safety glasses

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By *j47Man  over a year ago

limerick


"Safety glasses have an even more important role than the one you described. They're vital to protect the eyes from something much worse than a dick in the eye....semen in the eye.

Sure I hear it's great for removing cakes on mascara

Ha! I wouldn't know,I never wear the stuff

The mascara or the semen

Semen, the new fashion accessory. It's making quite a splash.

"

I hope it's L'Oreal because she's worth it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So the importance of safe sex is obvious for most of us, but for those who would like a simple primer here's how I prepare myself for a safe meet.

Hi Vis vest: if the lights are off it's often hard to find your partner wearing a low cut luminous vest can be a great way to not loose your partner in a dark room, club or for our dogging friends the forest.

Hard Hat: During an intense mmf, mfm, mfmf, etc. Nothing could be worse than getting concussion and loosing your mojo by being thwacked on the head by a big hard cock. With a good hard hat you can play away close to the action without the worries of serious head injuries.

Safety glasses. As in the above situation avoid serious dick eye injuries with a good sturdy pair of safety eyewear.

Safety shoes: with the increased availability use of glass and steel sex toys, (yes I am talking about you njoy pure plug) the risk of foot injuries in the boudoir has seen an increase in foot related injuries. These boots can also prove useful for couples when meeting others who may want to step on your toes.

Hearing Protection: how often have you come back from a meet with a vocal lover only to realise that all the passionate moaning and screaming in your has left you with a buzzing in your ear and hard of hearing. I find the big noise reduction type are the best myself.

Safety Harness: whether at heights or near a hole that has unknown depth, always play safe. Some of the more trendy garnish can have that fetish look so you well be safe and look the part too.

That's it folks. Play safe and have fun.

Please feel free to add to this list as I am sure some of you out there have some good practices yourself. "

Brilliant!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Even if the safety glasses have a dual purpose.... I think you have all holes covered...so to speak

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Even if the safety glasses have a dual purpose.... I think you have all holes covered...so to speak "

Well speaking of all holes covered I never thought of this before but... a sink plug... It could have uses.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Snorkel?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Snorkel? "

Good thinking that man

Snorkel: Did you know that no one this year drowned at a fab party. But that could change in a flash flood due to water sports, excessive squirting or heavy and repeat cummers all in the same room. There's not always a forecast for this kinda thing! Dont be a statistic use a cubed tube of playstic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


" Brilliant!!"

Thanks

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