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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There is no easy way to do it, or am I missing something? I find it really hard to do the not replying approach. So then when I start chatting it's hard to find that exit door. I'm well versed in handling rejection but not so good at doing it. Is there an acceptable way to say no thanks, not for me? Or does everyone just end up feeling shitty doing it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's plenty of nice ways to say it but there's no telling what way the person will take it unfortunately. I always just try to be as kind and diplomatic as I can be. "
very true, I've received some nasty responses in the past so I can only imagine some of the horrible ones ladies receive  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find if its said directly it's not taken as bad. Seeing your blocked after being told someone is interested a few weeks before now that's a shock. But like everything on fab it's a learning curve  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel the same. I think it's because ive been rejected many times and hurt so i know how shitty it can feel to Fancy someone and to not be liked back in return because of how you look. I generally will chat and be nice and if they ask out right then ill kindly tell them they're not for me but it does suck because sometimes i think who am i to pretty much decide someone isn't good enough for me just because of an image. |
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"There is no easy way to do it, or am I missing something? I find it really hard to do the not replying approach. So then when I start chatting it's hard to find that exit door. I'm well versed in handling rejection but not so good at doing it. Is there an acceptable way to say no thanks, not for me? Or does everyone just end up feeling shitty doing it? "
Youd not be human if ye didnt feel bad rejecting someone as its a hard thing to take. Ive not actually said to anyone , i dont want you, the conversation usually trails off to a nothingness moreso, its kinder and easier that way, i think. Noones feelings get hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can be kind and polite and people will still take it personally, cpls we find are the worst for getting shitty about it "
That surprises me. I thought they'd have taken it the best as they still have each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a pain to hear and a pain to say but we all not going to sleep with each other on here.
You not going to float everyone's boat whoever you are. A polite no, if you want to keep chatting as friends that's fine..
Move on
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As tough as it can be it's certainly more beneficial to be forthright with a person about it; it's more respectful to both parties in the long run imo. You don't want to run the risk of being accused of stringing someone along nor do you actually wish to.
It's natural to feel bad about it, as it is to feel rejected; neither are nice. It's just human nature.
Honesty is the best policy imo and so long as you're just that, honest, and respectful I believe you'll ultimately earn the same in return. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is no easy way to do it, or am I missing something? I find it really hard to do the not replying approach. So then when I start chatting it's hard to find that exit door. I'm well versed in handling rejection but not so good at doing it. Is there an acceptable way to say no thanks, not for me? Or does everyone just end up feeling shitty doing it?
Youd not be human if ye didnt feel bad rejecting someone as its a hard thing to take. Ive not actually said to anyone , i dont want you, the conversation usually trails off to a nothingness moreso, its kinder and easier that way, i think. Noones feelings get hurt. "
Yeah I do that sometimes, feels like a cop out but is slightly less torturous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess no one ever feels great about being told no... not just on fab but in all parts of life...
But on here a lady once told me...
You shouldn't be allowed out in daylight!....  |
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"As tough as it can be it's certainly more beneficial to be forthright with a person about it; it's more respectful to both parties in the long run imo. You don't want to run the risk of being accused of stringing someone along nor do you actually wish to.
It's natural to feel bad about it, as it is to feel rejected; neither are nice. It's just human nature.
Honesty is the best policy imo and so long as you're just that, honest, and respectful I believe you'll ultimately earn the same in return."
The above is true and correct.
Just say sorry, I thought we might have had a connection/spark that might be interesting for both of us but I'm not feeling what I thought I would be. Not anyone's fault, it's just obviously not the right chemistry between us.
I don't see how anyone could have a problem with that. |
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Once done politely and versed respectfully then it's up to the person on the receiving end to accept a "no" with maturity . At the end of the day we're all not going to be attracted to everyone so it's easier to be honest upfront x |
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"Hate it...
Especially if I've built up a friendship with them...
 "
Surely you can still be friends? Just without the sex. If you were meant to be friends, apart from the sex, you should be. Just what I would do. Explaining how we met might be a laugh though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate it...
Especially if I've built up a friendship with them...
Surely you can still be friends? Just without the sex. If you were meant to be friends, apart from the sex, you should be. Just what I would do. Explaining how we met might be a laugh though "
Usually once I say no thanks then it's no more conversation....
I got turned down once....
Met a guy he was lovely sweet and mad to meet...
Then no conversation no messages nothing....
I mailed him said it was lovely to meet you for that coffee and by your lack of correspondence I'm guessing your not interested...
I still haven't heard from him...
It happens.....  |
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"Hate it...
Especially if I've built up a friendship with them...
Surely you can still be friends? Just without the sex. If you were meant to be friends, apart from the sex, you should be. Just what I would do. Explaining how we met might be a laugh though
Usually once I say no thanks then it's no more conversation....
I got turned down once....
Met a guy he was lovely sweet and mad to meet...
Then no conversation no messages nothing....
I mailed him said it was lovely to meet you for that coffee and by your lack of correspondence I'm guessing your not interested...
I still haven't heard from him...
It happens..... "
Sorry to hear that. Some guys have no manners or cojones! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate it...
Especially if I've built up a friendship with them...
Surely you can still be friends? Just without the sex. If you were meant to be friends, apart from the sex, you should be. Just what I would do. Explaining how we met might be a laugh though
Usually once I say no thanks then it's no more conversation....
I got turned down once....
Met a guy he was lovely sweet and mad to meet...
Then no conversation no messages nothing....
I mailed him said it was lovely to meet you for that coffee and by your lack of correspondence I'm guessing your not interested...
I still haven't heard from him...
It happens..... "
....you should have mentioned that thing you do with you're tongue. ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is no easy way to do it, or am I missing something? I find it really hard to do the not replying approach. So then when I start chatting it's hard to find that exit door. I'm well versed in handling rejection but not so good at doing it. Is there an acceptable way to say no thanks, not for me? Or does everyone just end up feeling shitty doing it? "
I think you handled it very well and respectful  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is no easy way to do it, or am I missing something? I find it really hard to do the not replying approach. So then when I start chatting it's hard to find that exit door. I'm well versed in handling rejection but not so good at doing it. Is there an acceptable way to say no thanks, not for me? Or does everyone just end up feeling shitty doing it?
I think you handled it very well and respectful "
Thank you, as was your reaction. Still felt shitty though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate it...
Especially if I've built up a friendship with them...
Surely you can still be friends? Just without the sex. If you were meant to be friends, apart from the sex, you should be. Just what I would do. Explaining how we met might be a laugh though
Usually once I say no thanks then it's no more conversation....
I got turned down once....
Met a guy he was lovely sweet and mad to meet...
Then no conversation no messages nothing....
I mailed him said it was lovely to meet you for that coffee and by your lack of correspondence I'm guessing your not interested...
I still haven't heard from him...
It happens..... ....you should have mentioned that thing you do with you're tongue. ..."
The lashing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hate it...
Especially if I've built up a friendship with them...
Surely you can still be friends? Just without the sex. If you were meant to be friends, apart from the sex, you should be. Just what I would do. Explaining how we met might be a laugh though
Usually once I say no thanks then it's no more conversation....
I got turned down once....
Met a guy he was lovely sweet and mad to meet...
Then no conversation no messages nothing....
I mailed him said it was lovely to meet you for that coffee and by your lack of correspondence I'm guessing your not interested...
I still haven't heard from him...
It happens.....
Sorry to hear that. Some guys have no manners or cojones!"
Ah...I think he just didn't want to hurt me by telling me I wasn't his type! but all I'm saying is it happens to both women as well as men... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate it...
Especially if I've built up a friendship with them...
Surely you can still be friends? Just without the sex. If you were meant to be friends, apart from the sex, you should be. Just what I would do. Explaining how we met might be a laugh though
Usually once I say no thanks then it's no more conversation....
I got turned down once....
Met a guy he was lovely sweet and mad to meet...
Then no conversation no messages nothing....
I mailed him said it was lovely to meet you for that coffee and by your lack of correspondence I'm guessing your not interested...
I still haven't heard from him...
It happens..... ....you should have mentioned that thing you do with you're tongue. ...
The lashing "
.....ooh....my knees are weak now... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find if its said directly it's not taken as bad. Seeing your blocked after being told someone is interested a few weeks before now that's a shock. But like everything on fab it's a learning curve "
If someone say no to me I automatically block them. Doesn't mean I'm taking it bad but means that they won't appear again and I won't waste their time or mine |
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I tried to reply to all messages (except 1liners & unverif) & would try to give a reason why I'm not interested but they'd still either want to chat further or come back a few weeks later so now I just delete/block, just don't have the time to waste messaging. |
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