FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Things that change
Things that change
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We are still new to the lifestyle. We are just starting out and having a great time. As we spend more time here our perspective on things is changing however
Before I could talk about wifey having sex with a man and I didn't feel jealous. But now it's a little flutter of worry (which I will deal with). What's changed? Well before the weekend it was only a possibility. Now its a probability.
Before I wanted a mff. She wanted me to be happy. Now I want to make as many friends as possible and don't really care about getting my threesome. If it happens, it happens. And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same? |
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When I started first a coffee meet was super exciting..
Then a 1 on 1 was heart racingly exciting...then parties..
Then I went down a worm hole, so to speak.. Chasing the next exciting thing.. Tried the whole BDSM thing.. Tried stuff I didn't like.. Stuff I did..
Now I'm here just for me.. I do things that excite me and I've learned a lot about myself.
I take time away from actively meeting every now and then as I get completely bored with it. But when I come back it's fun again..
Emm.. Sorry what was the question?
;-) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Things will change, sometimes they will change back again. I have done this for a long time on and off. In that time I've experienced a lot of different fantasies and a few realities I didn't like. I've never been part of a couple though, so can't say I've experienced jealousy. Though I'm sure like everything else, you either learn to accept it and move on or you walk away. What I've learned most over the years, is to take things as they come. It's about enjoying the moment and the experiences as they come. Thinking too much about it would probably wreck my head and I'd just leave again lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really good to take a time out every now and then. Your head would be wrecked!!! I'm easily bored so time out works for me!! But some really hot guys on here at the mo so I'm getting twitchy  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know that on monday mornings when colleagues ask me, so, did you get up to anything Wild at the weekend?
I say no but don't always mean it.....   "
yeah. This Monday was odd. As I was staring blankly at the monitor I was getting flash backs. People all knew I was away on Friday night and at a gig on Saturday so there were lots of questions.
I just said "adult fun on Friday and teenager fun on Saturday ... Best weekend ever" no one asked questions about the adult fun
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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago
otherside of nowhere |
What a very good thread.....we are here about 5 years fulfilled a lot of fantasies made some good friends and had a lot of laughs...but the most profound change for me Mrs is any jealousy I felt is completely gone i never thought I would see sex as just sex..just nice exciting fun between adults..a relationship is something else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Brilliant thread and replies.
It is scary and exciting all rolled into one. I imagine it is harder for couples turning that all important corner of trust and hope you two get there. Just enjoy the ride - pardon the pun.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same? "
You see its usually the male of the couple who always brings up the swinging in the beginning and it's not exactly the woman's idea but to keep him happy she goes along with it,she loves you and wants to make you happy!
But sometimes things change,the ladies get more attention than the guys in a couple they get flirted with and begin to feel a new sence of confidence they feel sexy and it's amazing! But it's how you play your part from now on that counts...
Trust her...
Believe what she tells you is true...
Don't be jealous because she loves you...
And don't get annoyed because she's getting attention...
Trust is the big thing! Because sex is just sex nothing more...
If you loose your trust in her all is lost and yes I'm speaking from experience...
Best of luck...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same?
You see its usually the male of the couple who always brings up the swinging in the beginning and it's not exactly the woman's idea but to keep him happy she goes along with it,she loves you and wants to make you happy!
But sometimes things change,the ladies get more attention than the guys in a couple they get flirted with and begin to feel a new sence of confidence they feel sexy and it's amazing! But it's how you play your part from now on that counts...
Trust her...
Believe what she tells you is true...
Don't be jealous because she loves you...
And don't get annoyed because she's getting attention...
Trust is the big thing! Because sex is just sex nothing more...
If you loose your trust in her all is lost and yes I'm speaking from experience...
Best of luck...
"
Well said |
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By *ilderMan
over a year ago
dublin |
"I know that on monday mornings when colleagues ask me, so, did you get up to anything Wild at the weekend?
I say no but don't always mean it.....
yeah. This Monday was odd. As I was staring blankly at the monitor I was getting flash backs. People all knew I was away on Friday night and at a gig on Saturday so there were lots of questions.
I just said "adult fun on Friday and teenager fun on Saturday ... Best weekend ever" no one asked questions about the adult fun
"
You'd fun with teenagers? Well I guess as long as they're above the legal age it's OK....  |
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We are still exploring and growing; evolving you might say lol. We've had some experience before fab but this has still all been very eye-opening.
Our boundaries have grown and shifted as we get more experience, as well as our preferences. Before parties were scary and private meets were the preference. Now we love parties and can't get enough! We're less shy about people watching, and more confident about making a show of things lol.
The jealousy thing is always a touchy subject. While some of our boundaries have been blurred, we do have some zero-tolerance set in stone ground rules. This helps. But you've got to have good communication as a couple. If you're not on the same page at any point you have to stop, have an honest conversation, and reevaluate if needed.
We've had an amazing time here and our goals have been in sync. Having said that, we're still growing and exploring. It's all been a lot of fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same?
You see its usually the male of the couple who always brings up the swinging in the beginning and it's not exactly the woman's idea but to keep him happy she goes along with it,she loves you and wants to make you happy!
But sometimes things change,the ladies get more attention than the guys in a couple they get flirted with and begin to feel a new sence of confidence they feel sexy and it's amazing! But it's how you play your part from now on that counts...
Trust her...
Believe what she tells you is true...
Don't be jealous because she loves you...
And don't get annoyed because she's getting attention...
Trust is the big thing! Because sex is just sex nothing more...
If you loose your trust in her all is lost and yes I'm speaking from experience...
Best of luck...
"
 well articulate. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same?
You see its usually the male of the couple who always brings up the swinging in the beginning and it's not exactly the woman's idea but to keep him happy she goes along with it,she loves you and wants to make you happy!
But sometimes things change,the ladies get more attention than the guys in a couple they get flirted with and begin to feel a new sence of confidence they feel sexy and it's amazing! But it's how you play your part from now on that counts...
Trust her...
Believe what she tells you is true...
Don't be jealous because she loves you...
And don't get annoyed because she's getting attention...
Trust is the big thing! Because sex is just sex nothing more...
If you loose your trust in her all is lost and yes I'm speaking from experience...
Best of luck...
"
These are all the things I have said to her because she is the one that's much more worried. Except you said it much better.
Yesterdays moment of jealousy was partially because endorphin rush we were on ended. Reality came back lol. Sub or top drop can really take you by surprise. And while you are adapting to your new mindset darker thoughts can worm their way in.
Hugs and kisses along with a really good talk helped.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same?
You see its usually the male of the couple who always brings up the swinging in the beginning and it's not exactly the woman's idea but to keep him happy she goes along with it,she loves you and wants to make you happy!
But sometimes things change,the ladies get more attention than the guys in a couple they get flirted with and begin to feel a new sence of confidence they feel sexy and it's amazing! But it's how you play your part from now on that counts...
Trust her...
Believe what she tells you is true...
Don't be jealous because she loves you...
And don't get annoyed because she's getting attention...
Trust is the big thing! Because sex is just sex nothing more...
If you loose your trust in her all is lost and yes I'm speaking from experience...
Best of luck...
These are all the things I have said to her because she is the one that's much more worried. Except you said it much better.
Yesterdays moment of jealousy was partially because endorphin rush we were on ended. Reality came back lol. Sub or top drop can really take you by surprise. And while you are adapting to your new mindset darker thoughts can worm their way in.
Hugs and kisses along with a really good talk helped.
"
Keep talking and hugging,take time out if needed!
Reassurance and plenty of trust!
I'd advise you both to keep answering mails together too though,both of you should chat on the site! Just my opinion...x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Keep talking and hugging, take time out if needed!
Reassurance and plenty of trust!
I'd advise you both to keep answering mails together too though,both of you should chat on the site! Just my opinion...x
"
I'm trying to get her interested in the forums. She's answering the mails and if she pulls away from the site I will too. It's both of us or neither of us
thank you all for the great responses
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"And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same?
You see its usually the male of the couple who always brings up the swinging in the beginning and it's not exactly the woman's idea but to keep him happy she goes along with it,she loves you and wants to make you happy!
But sometimes things change,the ladies get more attention than the guys in a couple they get flirted with and begin to feel a new sence of confidence they feel sexy and it's amazing! But it's how you play your part from now on that counts...
Trust her...
Believe what she tells you is true...
Don't be jealous because she loves you...
And don't get annoyed because she's getting attention...
Trust is the big thing! Because sex is just sex nothing more...
If you loose your trust in her all is lost and yes I'm speaking from experience...
Best of luck...
"
Wow in our situation Ollie gets way more female attention then I get male when we are at meet and greats snd the like .....makes me giggle a bit ..
Apples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same?
You see its usually the male of the couple who always brings up the swinging in the beginning and it's not exactly the woman's idea but to keep him happy she goes along with it,she loves you and wants to make you happy!
But sometimes things change,the ladies get more attention than the guys in a couple they get flirted with and begin to feel a new sence of confidence they feel sexy and it's amazing! But it's how you play your part from now on that counts...
Trust her...
Believe what she tells you is true...
Don't be jealous because she loves you...
And don't get annoyed because she's getting attention...
Trust is the big thing! Because sex is just sex nothing more...
If you loose your trust in her all is lost and yes I'm speaking from experience...
Best of luck...
Wow in our situation Ollie gets way more female attention then I get male when we are at meet and greats snd the like .....makes me giggle a bit ..
Apples"
Really Apples? I'm surprised to hear that, i can only imagine it's because you are the quiet one  |
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By *ceryMan
over a year ago
Malahide & Waterford |
Thing is that you both agree and like what you are doing. Both of you may have different desires or expectations as to where the lifestyle will lead you and are you willing to help one another achieve your desires without sacrificing your own relationship. Can be a thin line and difficult one to achieve at times.
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"And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same?
You see its usually the male of the couple who always brings up the swinging in the beginning and it's not exactly the woman's idea but to keep him happy she goes along with it,she loves you and wants to make you happy!
But sometimes things change,the ladies get more attention than the guys in a couple they get flirted with and begin to feel a new sence of confidence they feel sexy and it's amazing! But it's how you play your part from now on that counts...
Trust her...
Believe what she tells you is true...
Don't be jealous because she loves you...
And don't get annoyed because she's getting attention...
Trust is the big thing! Because sex is just sex nothing more...
If you loose your trust in her all is lost and yes I'm speaking from experience...
Best of luck...
Wow in our situation Ollie gets way more female attention then I get male when we are at meet and greats snd the like .....makes me giggle a bit ..
Apples
Really Apples? I'm surprised to hear that, i can only imagine it's because you are the quiet one "
actually if you were to go with what ollie reckons ....it's cause he be the 'pretty one'  |
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"And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same?
You see its usually the male of the couple who always brings up the swinging in the beginning and it's not exactly the woman's idea but to keep him happy she goes along with it,she loves you and wants to make you happy!
But sometimes things change,the ladies get more attention than the guys in a couple they get flirted with and begin to feel a new sence of confidence they feel sexy and it's amazing! But it's how you play your part from now on that counts...
Trust her...
Believe what she tells you is true...
Don't be jealous because she loves you...
And don't get annoyed because she's getting attention...
Trust is the big thing! Because sex is just sex nothing more...
If you loose your trust in her all is lost and yes I'm speaking from experience...
Best of luck...
Wow in our situation Ollie gets way more female attention then I get male when we are at meet and greats snd the like .....makes me giggle a bit ..
Apples
Really Apples? I'm surprised to hear that, i can only imagine it's because you are the quiet one actually if you were to go with what ollie reckons ....it's cause he be the 'pretty one' "
Objection!! |
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"And she now wants to plan meets and really explore. See where this takes us.
What has changed for you? Or do you see things still the same?
You see its usually the male of the couple who always brings up the swinging in the beginning and it's not exactly the woman's idea but to keep him happy she goes along with it,she loves you and wants to make you happy!
But sometimes things change,the ladies get more attention than the guys in a couple they get flirted with and begin to feel a new sence of confidence they feel sexy and it's amazing! But it's how you play your part from now on that counts...
Trust her...
Believe what she tells you is true...
Don't be jealous because she loves you...
And don't get annoyed because she's getting attention...
Trust is the big thing! Because sex is just sex nothing more...
If you loose your trust in her all is lost and yes I'm speaking from experience...
Best of luck...
Wow in our situation Ollie gets way more female attention then I get male when we are at meet and greats snd the like .....makes me giggle a bit ..
Apples
Really Apples? I'm surprised to hear that, i can only imagine it's because you are the quiet one actually if you were to go with what ollie reckons ....it's cause he be the 'pretty one'
Objection!! "
Awe stag...should I blush. ....or should Oliver stomp off, feeling highly offended?....Maybe best not to answer that one lol
Apples |
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