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How many messages before a meet?
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We're curious as to what other people have experienced here. We know that every conversation is different, but is there a preferred timeframe before you like to meet with people? Do you prefer to talk for a while to get comfortable before a meet, or do you prefer to "get right to it" after one or two messages? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A certain level of conversation is required for me. You need to be able to try and spot the nutjobs. Also to get a feel for who you're going to meet. A profile only covers so much. I'm not talking weeks but a reasonable chat back and forth. Also if I'm getting monosyllabic responses it would be a big no no for me. |
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It's different for couples and singles....
I personaly don't mind turning up to a meet with Apples...only to find two lying, looney, fantasists. ..as I'm still going home with Apples to giggle about it and have the sex....
On the other hand as a single you still want sex...even if they tick all of the above boxes... 
so you have to make sure beforehand.
on the plus side there were a few ladies on here that were great fun to chat to...regardless of the sex.
In fact I still chat regularly to one special friend.
Ollie |
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By *xhibitACouple
over a year ago
Dublin |
"A certain level of conversation is required for me. You need to be able to try and spot the nutjobs. Also to get a feel for who you're going to meet. A profile only covers so much. I'm not talking weeks but a reasonable chat back and forth. Also if I'm getting monosyllabic responses it would be a big no no for me."
Couldn't agree more. We've kicked really hot profiles to touch because of their inability to string sentences together. Text speak is also a huge turn off. Reminds me of school. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Logistics have to be right first - ie details on the profile, otherwise no point in even contemplating a meet.
A few messages to move things along, (no text speak, a turn off), and get a bit of banter going.
Then coffee meet to ensure hygiene, discretion and chemistry.
Further banter online to get things hotting up - then BANG!
Might seem a long process for some but has worked very well for me. |
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By *ean0001Man
over a year ago
Dublin West |
Likes to get a coffee meet in early on if possible.
You can tell so much more in a few mins face to face than spending weeks bouncing messages around.
But its not always possible to get the face to face early on so at least the messages back and forth are a form of contact which is better than none.
Its only when i meet them face to face i will know if i'm interested in taking it further and if they are feeling the same.
Sometimes the click is just not there but sure nothing ventured nothing gained.
I tend to take the slower approach. Some people are mad for the chase. I prefer the catch to the chase.  |
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By *xhibitACouple
over a year ago
Dublin |
It's also nice to see that people have read your profile and understand what exactly you're here for and any boundaries you might have.
Nothing worse than having a good chat with a decent looking profile and then they start to ask questions that are clearly outlined in your own profile. |
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It's different for everyone and every situation.
For us we normally chat back and forth for a while and then if we decided to meet for a coffee or what ever then we tend to move more towards kik. It can be a good was to easily converse before and meeting and organise. It's also easier to then have post coffee banter and set up a follow up meet for all went well.
In terms of a time frame for us it can sometimes be a week or two or sometimes longer. Real life gets in the way and for some that can be annoying but that's just how it is for us. we find its best to share a few mails first and then pretty quickly you will know if you want to meet them or not. If you feel you are pulling teeth in emails we tend to find that can follow over to the coffee so watch out for the warning signs.
For us this works best as we don't check mails on here every day. But I would say just try what works best for you guys. After a while you will find what works best.
T |
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"It's also nice to see that people have read your profile and understand what exactly you're here for and any boundaries you might have.
Nothing worse than having a good chat with a decent looking profile and then they start to ask questions that are clearly outlined in your own profile. "
I could not agree more! A few messages back and forth is cool, but when the inevitable, so tell me what you are looking for? questions start, then it becomes clear that they can't be bothered to read so that's when I lose interest. |
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its not about the length of time i send messages or the number. its about he feel i get from the person through the messages.
sometimes its all good, you exchange kik and they turn into an ejit. Thats the end for me.
or you meet for a social and they are not what they said they were..
also the end..
but i agree a face to face is the only real way i get a feel for a person (and sometimes a feel of the person )
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Haha what a variety of answers! Thank you, you've all helped us a lot here. Or at least, let us know that we're not crazy in our confusion.
While having someone say "hi, wanna fuck?" (As someone mentioned lol) certainly clarifies what they are looking for, we tend to get those kind of messages from people who clearly haven't read our profile (as someone else mentioned!).
It can sometimes feel like walking through a minefield when exchanging messages with a stranger here. We've had some where it was the second or third message and we are talking about something innocuous like similar tattoos, music, or travel experience when all of a sudden they disappear. We've also had the shy types that don't seem ready for this scene. And of course the gentlemen who seem to think everyone really really really wants to see their cocks lol!
Speaking for us, we're more of a middle ground. We like to have a couple messages to find some chemistry, photo swap, and either a coffee or bar date to verify attraction and chemistry. But at the same time we're also on this site for a specific reason, and it's not to make pen pals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Each to their own as some do need a little longer to gather information on who the person is and some are very cautious which is understandable. Others get a pic and meet straight away and take it from there.
I like to get a feel for the lady a pic and meet straight away but I would consider myself a good judge of character.
Slightly like a job interview situation each have their own style.
That's my view anyway for what it's worth. |
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If the person is okay with a coffee meet then we prefer to do it sooner rather than later. It's the best way to see if everyone is compatible and there is no point in getting your hopes up while chatting for the better half of a month only to find out that you have absolutely no spark of attraction! |
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"Haha what a variety of answers! Thank you, you've all helped us a lot here. Or at least, let us know that we're not crazy in our confusion.
While having someone say "hi, wanna fuck?" (As someone mentioned lol) certainly clarifies what they are looking for, we tend to get those kind of messages from people who clearly haven't read our profile (as someone else mentioned!).
It can sometimes feel like walking through a minefield when exchanging messages with a stranger here. We've had some where it was the second or third message and we are talking about something innocuous like similar tattoos, music, or travel experience when all of a sudden they disappear. We've also had the shy types that don't seem ready for this scene. And of course the gentlemen who seem to think everyone really really really wants to see their cocks lol!
Speaking for us, we're more of a middle ground. We like to have a couple messages to find some chemistry, photo swap, and either a coffee or bar date to verify attraction and chemistry. But at the same time we're also on this site for a specific reason, and it's not to make pen pals. "
That's pretty much it remember their is no right or wrong way just the way that works best for you.
If you do find the perfect way sell it and make loads out of the secert |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like to chat first but unfortunately real life gets in the way of meeting people so at times we have met nearly straight away because we had free time but others has been ridiculously long time . there's one or two in particular that I've been chatting to for months and it just hasn't happened yet 
I don't complain about the filthy messages in the mean time tho |
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coffee anyone 