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Looks

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

how important are looks? Iv had extremely good looking (in my opinion) girlfriends that are great at the aul sex. And Iv had some great 1 nighters with normal looks. I'm not saying this is always the case. And I don't proclaim to be model material myself. I just wonder at everyone's request for face pics, are you missing out on great sex!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Look are unimportant to most people, face or body, but they probably like to have a better idea of what you look like anyway, make sure they'll recognise if they see or meet ye, and make sure your not a cousin or something, and if they happened to like the look of ye they might ant to meet you more, and you can almost gauge a personality a little from somebodies face...fuck maybe they're just bored and curious...and then there's people that might say gimme a look, who might say why invite ugly fookers round when I can have somebody I fancy around instead....I'd say that's all, if not that they're just pic hunters.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"how important are looks? Iv had extremely good looking (in my opinion) girlfriends that are great at the aul sex. And Iv had some great 1 nighters with normal looks. I'm not saying this is always the case. And I don't proclaim to be model material myself. I just wonder at everyone's request for face pics, are you missing out on great sex!!"
......well we're both gorgeous. ..so this doesn't really apply to us. . We believe that sending face pics on fab is far too risky. You're best friend today, could be you're sworn enemy tomorrow. We live in Ni....so we're not going to travel to cork for a meet. Its much safer to have a social. ..imo of course

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By *appyone4uMan  over a year ago

Dublin

Everyone has their own beauty just have to know where to find it. Also sex isn't dependent on looks, just drive and flexibility .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Looks are important to some people, and not to others.

I don't care so long as the guy is in reasonable physical shape, personality is the key.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Give me a sexy lady over a good looking lady any day

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Of course looks are important,other than prostitutes who would have sex with someone they weren't attracted to?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Of course looks are important,other than prostitutes who would have sex with someone they weren't attracted to?"

Attraction comes in different forms. Iv been very attracted to someone in the past that was not as good looking in traditional terms. But I loved the craic with her. My point was if I judged her on looks in the first instance. I would never have met her, and never have had such a FAB time!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

But you still felt an attraction to her,and most likely would never had met her had there been no attraction

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"But you still felt an attraction to her,and most likely would never had met her had there been no attraction"

No I did t meet her on here, it was in the real world. Should have made that clearer sorry

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By *0shadesofashWoman  over a year ago

DUBLIN


"But you still felt an attraction to her,and most likely would never had met her had there been no attraction

No I did t meet her on here, it was in the real world. Should have made that clearer sorry"

is this not real life? Haha

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By *oxyvixen99Woman  over a year ago

Newtownabbey

Im find attraction in a lot of things not just looks..on here someones attitude can be far more attractive at times than a pretty face

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By *ienDePlusCouple  over a year ago

dublin


"Of course looks are important,other than prostitutes who would have sex with someone they weren't attracted to?

Attraction comes in different forms. Iv been very attracted to someone in the past that was not as good looking in traditional terms. But I loved the craic with her. My point was if I judged her on looks in the first instance. I would never have met her, and never have had such a FAB time! "

Your initial post was about how you had relationships with 'extremely' good looking women and had sex with 'normal' looking people.

What any of that really means is beyond me (beyond some vague humble-brag).

Society has a vaguely standardised scale of attraction for both men and women. Individuals may vary on what they find attractive. Some may go on about looks not being as important as personality but you cant tell a joke at 40 paces. Obviously attraction is a mix of looks and personality but i doubt many people here really vary too far from the standard societal conventions of beauty.

What they settle for, of course, is different...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In this lifestyle it all goes on looks on that first picture swop.. unless your at a meet and greet or a party, then I guess it really goes on looks. We have been sent pictures and said na not our type then seen and chatted in person and there is attraction..We generally now never decline or agree a meet until all persons have met in the flesh so to speak ..Jilly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've had friends tell me I have bad taste in men... Looks wise. Although I have always been attracted to the person I'm with.

I defo don't have a type. I probably go for cheeky chap who makes me laugh and has a glint in his eye.

On here... I find its more about the text banter and working out that the person is on the same page as you... Oh and not a head case !

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I don't think there's a direct correlation between physical beauty and the quality of sex.

However outstanding physical beauty can be a shallow asset if there's a void behind it.

Each fabber has his/her own criteria and preferences to choose a possible meet. For some physical attraction is more important than for others.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm shallow - I think looks matter. Maybe not so much if you've met someone in 'real life' in the pub and got to know them but on here the initial attraction for me is looks.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hi jilly...x

Yeah its different strokes for different folks....i like seeing a face pic just to see who im talking to in places like this sometimes...its often the first point of attraction, or first point of non-attraction for people...its pretty obvious why someone would want to see your face.

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By *Belfast_FellaMan  over a year ago

belfast

Looks do matter obviously but sometimes you might find someone extremely sexy without considering them classically beautiful or even conventionally pretty.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

As the saying goes. U can't wank over a personality

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As the saying goes. U can't wank over a personality "

..don't think I saw that saying in the transfer test homework!!!...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

yes looks matter, as does the inches between ones ears..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was chatting a good friend about this the other day..

.this is a little crass..but for me, the attraction bit, is as a guy..after you orgasm..if there isn't much attraction, your instinct are to leave..go, pleasantly...but honestly..its undeniable as a male, spread seed, then go..now..ive never done that, but its a basic instinct as a male

...but ..getting back on point..when there us a strong attraction..this instinct is heavily overtaken by....fuck me I wanna do that again, lets kiss, cuddle, fondle and start again...

.sorry if that's a little too honest for some, but having chatted more than met, I know from girls and couples that guys leaving pretty quickly after cumming with a plethora of ready made excuses is really common...now you know why...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Looks and confidence always a winner

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I like to stay and chat a little if i can...but yeah i have to say id turn porn off when its served its use...sometimes instantly...and i generally watch the porn that has the most attractive people to me in it...sometimes that isnt the classically best looking people either, but generally they are way better looking than me.

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By *timulationMan  over a year ago

sexerotica

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hi jilly...x

Yeah its different strokes for different folks....i like seeing a face pic just to see who im talking to in places like this sometimes...its often the first point of attraction, or first point of non-attraction for people...its pretty obvious why someone would want to see your face. "

My pic would scare the shit out of u

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hi jilly...x

Yeah its different strokes for different folks....i like seeing a face pic just to see who im talking to in places like this sometimes...its often the first point of attraction, or first point of non-attraction for people...its pretty obvious why someone would want to see your face.

My pic would scare the shit out of u "

..haha....is it the early morning face

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's true tho...

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By *amdublinMan  over a year ago

Paris

looks,, is just the facade we show it can be changed at any time real beauty its in the heart

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By *ne of fourMan  over a year ago

Waterford


"As the saying goes. U can't wank over a personality "

You have a fantastic picture to wank over

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Looks and confidence always a winner "

Greedy man

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As the saying goes. U can't wank over a personality

You have a fantastic picture to wank over "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As the saying goes. U can't wank over a personality

You have a fantastic picture to wank over "

Oh my

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By *ust4fun555Man  over a year ago

city centre


"I was chatting a good friend about this the other day..

.this is a little crass..but for me, the attraction bit, is as a guy..after you orgasm..if there isn't much attraction, your instinct are to leave..go, pleasantly...but honestly..its undeniable as a male, spread seed, then go..now..ive never done that, but its a basic instinct as a male

...but ..getting back on point..when there us a strong attraction..this instinct is heavily overtaken by....fuck me I wanna do that again, lets kiss, cuddle, fondle and start again...

.sorry if that's a little too honest for some, but having chatted more than met, I know from girls and couples that guys leaving pretty quickly after cumming with a plethora of ready made excuses is really common...now you know why... "

^^^ what he said

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Looks and confidence always a winner

"

Definitely...

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By *elfastDMan  over a year ago

belfast


"As the saying goes. U can't wank over a personality "

Really?

I can

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As the saying goes. U can't wank over a personality

Really?

I can "

Have u sat down n wanked over her personality?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If someone is looking for a sub/Dom then surely that's a personality trait and not a look? So then personality is key?

I find it hard to believe if your good looking your better at sex, I've had great meets with people who would be "average" but are great fun to be around, afew of the "hotter" lads would be left standing.

In my experience the hotter the lad the less likely they are to want to try and make the sex fun, they expect you to fawn over them.

So yes you can't wank over someone's personality but boils down to what turns you on and what you classify as a good meet?

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By *elfastDMan  over a year ago

belfast


"As the saying goes. U can't wank over a personality

Really?

I can Have u sat down n wanked over her personality?"

Yes

The personality can bring alive a lot of fantasies about them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone is looking for a sub/Dom then surely that's a personality trait and not a look? So then personality is key?

I find it hard to believe if your good looking your better at sex, I've had great meets with people who would be "average" but are great fun to be around, afew of the "hotter" lads would be left standing.

In my experience the hotter the lad the less likely they are to want to try and make the sex fun, they expect you to fawn over them.

So yes you can't wank over someone's personality but boils down to what turns you on and what you classify as a good meet?"

personality is key to a good meet but it won't get there for alot unless physical attraction is there, through this site anyway. In a pub club is diff as your initially talking in person

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone is looking for a sub/Dom then surely that's a personality trait and not a look? So then personality is key?

I find it hard to believe if your good looking your better at sex, I've had great meets with people who would be "average" but are great fun to be around, afew of the "hotter" lads would be left standing.

In my experience the hotter the lad the less likely they are to want to try and make the sex fun, they expect you to fawn over them.

So yes you can't wank over someone's personality but boils down to what turns you on and what you classify as a good meet?personality is key to a good meet but it won't get there for alot unless physical attraction is there, through this site anyway. In a pub club is diff as your initially talking in person "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone is looking for a sub/Dom then surely that's a personality trait and not a look? So then personality is key?

I find it hard to believe if your good looking your better at sex, I've had great meets with people who would be "average" but are great fun to be around, afew of the "hotter" lads would be left standing.

In my experience the hotter the lad the less likely they are to want to try and make the sex fun, they expect you to fawn over them.

So yes you can't wank over someone's personality but boils down to what turns you on and what you classify as a good meet?personality is key to a good meet but it won't get there for alot unless physical attraction is there, through this site anyway. In a pub club is diff as your initially talking in person "

Very true, but I was more replying to the point of good looks equals good sex.

We are all here for fantasies and a bit of something extra, so yes there has to be physical attraction for most, but like I mentioned, some people like those in Dom sub relationships (and I am saying some) are very much turned on though thoughts and fantasies and personality etc and not "just" looks

But yes for the vast majority looks are what get you in the door on here.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone is looking for a sub/Dom then surely that's a personality trait and not a look? So then personality is key?

I find it hard to believe if your good looking your better at sex, I've had great meets with people who would be "average" but are great fun to be around, afew of the "hotter" lads would be left standing.

In my experience the hotter the lad the less likely they are to want to try and make the sex fun, they expect you to fawn over them.

So yes you can't wank over someone's personality but boils down to what turns you on and what you classify as a good meet?personality is key to a good meet but it won't get there for alot unless physical attraction is there, through this site anyway. In a pub club is diff as your initially talking in person

Very true, but I was more replying to the point of good looks equals good sex.

We are all here for fantasies and a bit of something extra, so yes there has to be physical attraction for most, but like I mentioned, some people like those in Dom sub relationships (and I am saying some) are very much turned on though thoughts and fantasies and personality etc and not "just" looks

But yes for the vast majority looks are what get you in the door on here. "

agree with all that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We've been told we're a good looking couple (one of us looks like Eva Green) but we don't see looks as the be all and end all. Looks will get you to the door but personality will open it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone is looking for a sub/Dom then surely that's a personality trait and not a look? So then personality is key? "

I agree with that, personality definitely comes first and mutual interests, but when you get that combined with physical attraction it's fantastic

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By *cjoyCouple  over a year ago

Galway

A persons attractiveness can not just be measured on what they look like, there are so many things that need to be taken into account.

A great personality will win over in most situations but when you are talking about a meet, be it at a party or a one on one meet you may not always have enough time for the personality to shine through fully so being physically attracted to the person is a huge bonus.

I wouldn't meet blind and would never expect anyone to want to meet us blind either. Face pics may not be the safest option but it's a better one than possibly meeting a work colleague/neighbour

Miss Mcjoy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We've been told we're a good looking couple (one of us looks like Eva Green) but we don't see looks as the be all and end all. Looks will get you to the door but personality will open it. "

I hope it's her that looks like Eva

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Looks are good at the start but how many times have you met a beautifull looking chic and you don't click you have to have a happy medium of the 2 !!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We've been told we're a good looking couple (one of us looks like Eva Green) but we don't see looks as the be all and end all. Looks will get you to the door but personality will open it.

I hope it's her that looks like Eva "

No it's him. He's got the child bearing hips an all.

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By *ienDePlusCouple  over a year ago

dublin

Ah, the forum of fabs... Where men rush to say the opposite of what they say in real life...

Our rule is (1) is there physical attraction (2) are they not an asshole (racist, d*unk, sectarian etc)' (3) do they not smell (because some here have serious odour issues).

Beyond that we don't get hung up about whether you are witty, charming, educated, erudite, etc. But no amount of slick rehearsed lines or doe eyes will get you beyond the 1st physical baseline. We can think you are a great person but if the physical attraction isnt there its not going to get physical.

(As for the sub/dom debate - the fetish community is hugely hung up on looks and aesthetic. Granted the strands of such may vary more than the lifestyle community but looks are vital in the fetish world).

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ah, the forum of fabs... Where men rush to say the opposite of what they say in real life...

Our rule is (1) is there physical attraction (2) are they not an asshole (racist, d*unk, sectarian etc)' (3) do they not smell (because some here have serious odour issues).

Beyond that we don't get hung up about whether you are witty, charming, educated, erudite, etc. But no amount of slick rehearsed lines or doe eyes will get you beyond the 1st physical baseline. We can think you are a great person but if the physical attraction isnt there its not going to get physical.

(As for the sub/dom debate - the fetish community is hugely hung up on looks and aesthetic. Granted the strands of such may vary more than the lifestyle community but looks are vital in the fetish world)."

That’s your preference and what works for you two, it’s perfectly understandable. However, I don’t see why anyone would feel the need to generalise the preferences of others; let alone undermine their words and intentions.

A pretty face isn’t necessarily an attribute worthy of being placed above any other; such as intelligence, wit, manners etc. Of course it works both ways and looks will never be completely disregarded when seeking a partner but as attractive a quality a six pack may be people can be equally as attracted to someone who, for example, makes them laugh. People will often have a "type" aesthetically but again they'll also have a 'type' personality wise.

I see no correlation between looks and good sex in fact I’d argue sex enjoyed at its fullest and most basic is with someone you feel comfortable with giving yourself to, so much so that you can both let all of your inhibitions go. Why then can’t someone who makes you laugh or that you can hold a conversation with be as compatible in bed as someone blessed with a pretty face?

Each person has their preferences, yours is focused more on physical attributes and again that’s fair. What isn’t fair is to generalise the preferences of others. For some it may be “good looks with a nice personality a bonus” for others it may be the other way around. Both and everyone’s surely on to a winner

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/05/16 18:47:21]

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By *ymguylMan  over a year ago

ennis

I belive face pic are dangerous to put up on fab' attractions as ive read on here can be a good body' good looks' when it shpuld be on how nice they are to chat'there fore a meet' is a good plan' it opion but people make there own minds up'

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I belive face pic are dangerous to put up on fab' attractions as ive read on here can be a good body' good looks' when it shpuld be on how nice they are to chat'there fore a meet' is a good plan' it opion but people make there own minds up'"

????????

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By *ienDePlusCouple  over a year ago

dublin


"Ah, the forum of fabs... Where men rush to say the opposite of what they say in real life...

Our rule is (1) is there physical attraction (2) are they not an asshole (racist, d*unk, sectarian etc)' (3) do they not smell (because some here have serious odour issues).

Beyond that we don't get hung up about whether you are witty, charming, educated, erudite, etc. But no amount of slick rehearsed lines or doe eyes will get you beyond the 1st physical baseline. We can think you are a great person but if the physical attraction isnt there its not going to get physical.

(As for the sub/dom debate - the fetish community is hugely hung up on looks and aesthetic. Granted the strands of such may vary more than the lifestyle community but looks are vital in the fetish world).

That’s your preference and what works for you two, it’s perfectly understandable. However, I don’t see why anyone would feel the need to generalise the preferences of others; let alone undermine their words and intentions.

"

An aggregate of preferences is inevitable. A multitude of preferences naturally yields a generalisation. You cant unwish a basic of metaphysics.

On the fabs forums 'truth' is not an adherence to the world or even what the same author admits in private, 'truth' is simply whatever helps the image to produce an 'in' with the target audience.

Unless, of course, Fabs isnt a swingers site but a venue for people who prefer sex with people who make them laugh. Or just a place for people who will fuck anyone provided SOME pretext can be found.

Meanwhile the reality of fabs is that the successful single males tend to have six packs, the older couples lop decades off their ages to 'get with' the younger couples and the world of sex revolves around fairly standardised norms of physical attraction.

But yet each day people will dance on here like politicians trying to seduce the electorate..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ah, the forum of fabs... Where men rush to say the opposite of what they say in real life...

Our rule is (1) is there physical attraction (2) are they not an asshole (racist, d*unk, sectarian etc)' (3) do they not smell (because some here have serious odour issues).

Beyond that we don't get hung up about whether you are witty, charming, educated, erudite, etc. But no amount of slick rehearsed lines or doe eyes will get you beyond the 1st physical baseline. We can think you are a great person but if the physical attraction isnt there its not going to get physical.

(As for the sub/dom debate - the fetish community is hugely hung up on looks and aesthetic. Granted the strands of such may vary more than the lifestyle community but looks are vital in the fetish world).

That’s your preference and what works for you two, it’s perfectly understandable. However, I don’t see why anyone would feel the need to generalise the preferences of others; let alone undermine their words and intentions.

An aggregate of preferences is inevitable. A multitude of preferences naturally yields a generalisation. You cant unwish a basic of metaphysics.

On the fabs forums 'truth' is not an adherence to the world or even what the same author admits in private, 'truth' is simply whatever helps the image to produce an 'in' with the target audience.

Unless, of course, Fabs isnt a swingers site but a venue for people who prefer sex with people who make them laugh. Or just a place for people who will fuck anyone provided SOME pretext can be found.

Meanwhile the reality of fabs is that the successful single males tend to have six packs, the older couples lop decades off their ages to 'get with' the younger couples and the world of sex revolves around fairly standardised norms of physical attraction.

But yet each day people will dance on here like politicians trying to seduce the electorate..

"

I'll assume for arguments sake you wore your thesaurus out before you could address the entirety of my reply

The OP wasn't in reference to who or what breeds a 'successful' profile, in fact, given the mention of girlfriends you could argue it wasn't even in reference to fab in general.

It was about a direct link between good looks and good sex, of which there isn't. Compatibility, be it in regards to the bedroom or other aspects of a relationship, transcends a six pack and a pretty face.

As for undermining the intentions and words of any and all of the men on here, perhaps that says more about you and your state of mind. I know what I say, I mean. Someone once put it to me that fab is merely an extension of ourselves; I'm just me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Maybe I sould shallow .. but I cant sleep with someone unless Im attracted to them ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Ah, the forum of fabs... Where men rush to say the opposite of what they say in real life...

Our rule is (1) is there physical attraction (2) are they not an asshole (racist, d*unk, sectarian etc)' (3) do they not smell (because some here have serious odour issues).

Beyond that we don't get hung up about whether you are witty, charming, educated, erudite, etc. But no amount of slick rehearsed lines or doe eyes will get you beyond the 1st physical baseline. We can think you are a great person but if the physical attraction isnt there its not going to get physical.

(As for the sub/dom debate - the fetish community is hugely hung up on looks and aesthetic. Granted the strands of such may vary more than the lifestyle community but looks are vital in the fetish world).

That’s your preference and what works for you two, it’s perfectly understandable. However, I don’t see why anyone would feel the need to generalise the preferences of others; let alone undermine their words and intentions.

An aggregate of preferences is inevitable. A multitude of preferences naturally yields a generalisation. You cant unwish a basic of metaphysics.

On the fabs forums 'truth' is not an adherence to the world or even what the same author admits in private, 'truth' is simply whatever helps the image to produce an 'in' with the target audience.

Unless, of course, Fabs isnt a swingers site but a venue for people who prefer sex with people who make them laugh. Or just a place for people who will fuck anyone provided SOME pretext can be found.

Meanwhile the reality of fabs is that the successful single males tend to have six packs, the older couples lop decades off their ages to 'get with' the younger couples and the world of sex revolves around fairly standardised norms of physical attraction.

But yet each day people will dance on here like politicians trying to seduce the electorate..

I'll assume for arguments sake you wore your thesaurus out before you could address the entirety of my reply

The OP wasn't in reference to who or what breeds a 'successful' profile, in fact, given the mention of girlfriends you could argue it wasn't even in reference to fab in general.

It was about a direct link between good looks and good sex, of which there isn't. Compatibility, be it in regards to the bedroom or other aspects of a relationship, transcends a six pack and a pretty face.

As for undermining the intentions and words of any and all of the men on here, perhaps that says more about you and your state of mind. I know what I say, I mean. Someone once put it to me that fab is merely an extension of ourselves; I'm just me "

My original point (perhaps not communicated clearly enough) was that if everyone is fixated on looks, you could potentially miss a great sexual partner. All people do in here (generalisation) is ask for face pics.

Take a chance, go on a blind meet. There are other ways to figure out if you know someone or not.

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By *ienDePlusCouple  over a year ago

dublin

Pete, you should refrain from the ad hominem.

Two of your four paragraphs are direct insults or snipes at us. Zero of ours are references to you.

We'll keep it that way and leave you to your campaign.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe I sould shallow .. but I cant sleep with someone unless Im attracted to them .. "

I don't know how someone would sleep with a person they don't think is good lookin

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe I sould shallow .. but I cant sleep with someone unless Im attracted to them ..

I don't know how someone would sleep with a person they don't think is good lookin"

And the point others are making is that, for them, there is more to attraction than looks.

There is room for both, surely? Nobody is being forced to have sex with someone they are not attracted to, however they choose to define attraction.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

And as for the OP's point, I have personally found no correlation between conventional good looks and great sex.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe I sould shallow .. but I cant sleep with someone unless Im attracted to them ..

I don't know how someone would sleep with a person they don't think is good lookin

And the point others are making is that, for them, there is more to attraction than looks.

There is room for both, surely? Nobody is being forced to have sex with someone they are not attracted to, however they choose to define attraction."

Yeah I get that too, but should have said personally I dunno how people do it. I am attracted to people due to personality too of course but if they are ugly I wouldn't have physical contact lol. Each to their own though but I get

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe I sould shallow .. but I cant sleep with someone unless Im attracted to them ..

I don't know how someone would sleep with a person they don't think is good lookin

And the point others are making is that, for them, there is more to attraction than looks.

There is room for both, surely? Nobody is being forced to have sex with someone they are not attracted to, however they choose to define attraction.

Yeah I get that too, but should have said personally I dunno how people do it. I am attracted to people due to personality too of course but if they are ugly I wouldn't have physical contact lol. Each to their own though but I get"

I'm sure we all have our limits

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe I sould shallow .. but I cant sleep with someone unless Im attracted to them ..

I don't know how someone would sleep with a person they don't think is good lookin

And the point others are making is that, for them, there is more to attraction than looks.

There is room for both, surely? Nobody is being forced to have sex with someone they are not attracted to, however they choose to define attraction.

Yeah I get that too, but should have said personally I dunno how people do it. I am attracted to people due to personality too of course but if they are ugly I wouldn't have physical contact lol. Each to their own though but I get

I'm sure we all have our limits "

Im not all about looks .. I value personality too .. but at the end of the day no matter how nice they are,how much they make me laugh If im not sexually attracted to them it wont happen

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Of course looks are important,other than prostitutes who would have sex with someone they weren't attracted to?

Attraction comes in different forms. Iv been very attracted to someone in the past that was not as good looking in traditional terms. But I loved the craic with her. My point was if I judged her on looks in the first instance. I would never have met her, and never have had such a FAB time!

Your initial post was about how you had relationships with 'extremely' good looking women and had sex with 'normal' looking people.

What any of that really means is beyond me (beyond some vague humble-brag).

Society has a vaguely standardised scale of attraction for both men and women. Individuals may vary on what they find attractive. Some may go on about looks not being as important as personality but you cant tell a joke at 40 paces. Obviously attraction is a mix of looks and personality but i doubt many people here really vary too far from the standard societal conventions of beauty.

What they settle for, of course, is different..."

A brilliant post. Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Of course looks are important. It's the first thing you notice about someone. If you wouldn't chat them up in a bar then I wouldn't chat them up here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"And as for the OP's point, I have personally found no correlation between conventional good looks and great sex."

That wasn't my point

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

One wonders how much of swinging choice is down to actual attraction, vs being seen to be fucking the "hottest" people, given the social nature of humans, a hierarchy emerges in every group.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well I don't demand face pics for this reason. People might not photograph that well and then you discount them and personality plays a big part for me. I prefer to chat on kik. I can usually tell if I'm interested that way. Meet for a coffee or whatever and I may pounce then...have done before grrr yummy

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Well I don't demand face pics for this reason. People might not photograph that well and then you discount them and personality plays a big part for me. I prefer to chat on kik. I can usually tell if I'm interested that way. Meet for a coffee or whatever and I may pounce then...have done before grrr yummy "

This is exactly my point. How many good people might you have missed otherwise

I tip my cap to you ??

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