FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Maintenance

Maintenance

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

After Christmas I lost my job I was still able to keep my head above water pay rent on the flat pay my soon to be ex wife maintenance and have my kids every Saturday and stay overnight every second weekend.I had enough money put by on till work picked up. My soon to be ex wife wanted more money and me to take the kids every weekend . I couldn't afford to pay her more money so she brought me to court. Now I've to pay her €100 in maintenance move back home pay €50_rent to my mother and live on €38_a week. What pisses me off I've been paying maintenance for two and a half years since I split up with the soon to be ex wife even when I wasn't working there's men out there that don't bother with their kids let alone pay maintenance. Should I appeal the out come in court again? Or just get on with things and hopefully find work again.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just get on with it to be honest and enjoy having your kids every weekend that's far more important than paying less money to support them

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *dam1995Man over a year ago

mullingar

How maNy kids you have if you are on dole its only 20euro a week per child

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How maNy kids you have if you are on dole its only 20euro a week per child "

Dunno where you get that info from because I know a lot of guys who quite rightly have to pay more. Op with all due respect it may be a lot of money at the moment but the money is to help with the kids, chances are the mother is paying out a lot more than your contribution each week.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *dam1995Man over a year ago

mullingar

How maNy kids you have if you are on dole its only 20euro a week per child

I know I pay it myself thats how I no being through courtd aswell

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How maNy kids you have if you are on dole its only 20euro a week per child

I know I pay it myself thats how I no being through courtd aswell "

Different courts different payouts also a lot want to pay more than the pittance some courts order so that their children can do activities etc

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *dam1995Man over a year ago

mullingar

How maNy kids you have if you are on dole its only 20euro a week per child

I know I pay it myself thats how I no being through courtd aswell

Different courts different payouts also a lot want to pay more than the pittance some courts order so that their children can do activities etc "

Of course I pay over I pay 50 for my 1 and watever else need be but all I am saying is when I had no job it was 20e a week

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thus us a funny one, my sister is a social worker and she has said before that it seems in most cases she has come across the awarded money will not cover the fathers side of the cost.

It's actually awarded slightly below what is deemed to be needed to be sure the holding parent makes the effort to earn or make savings where possible and not live of the other partner.

Her view on it which is far more qualified than mine is that most fathers won't pay it to spite their partners without a huge amount of thought given to what the kids might miss out on without the payments

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *imwildWoman over a year ago

around

An incentive to get back to work.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It sounds like a bit of a mess, do you think €14 a day covers your child's needs? But on the flip side, how are you expected to live on €38 a week?

What parents who leave the family home seem to forget is the day to day minutiae that is now left to the single parent, I feel some judges try to compensate for this by awarding what seem like unrealstic amounts of maintenance.

I hate saying this but if the amounts you quoted are accurate I would go back to court & renegotiate but know that you should be paying at least €100pw & it's your child that is going without meantime. If work is scarce can you spend more time with your child?

Good luck OP.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"After Christmas I lost my job I was still able to keep my head above water pay rent on the flat pay my soon to be ex wife maintenance and have my kids every Saturday and stay overnight every second weekend.I had enough money put by on till work picked up. My soon to be ex wife wanted more money and me to take the kids every weekend . I couldn't afford to pay her more money so she brought me to court. Now I've to pay her €100 in maintenance move back home pay €50_rent to my mother and live on €38_a week. What pisses me off I've been paying maintenance for two and a half years since I split up with the soon to be ex wife even when I wasn't working there's men out there that don't bother with their kids let alone pay maintenance. Should I appeal the out come in court again? Or just get on with things and hopefully find work again. "
I would go to the social welfare and apply to put your children on your claim. Its not widely known but if you pay 30 euro per child (with a letter from ex confirming this) the social will include your children onto your claim (increasing your money by 29 euro per child) if your ex isn't claiming already. If she is then I'd go back to court for a review and perhaps if your not working suggest taking them during the week and every second weekend? Best of luck dude

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *al2001Man over a year ago

kildare

If you share parenting 50 /50 with your ex you don't have to pay any maintenance

You both have and care for your kids equally

It's very hard work and more expensive than maintenance but it's fair all round and you get to see your kids more

It's called the Scandinavian way

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *tsUS1990Couple over a year ago

Dublin

You see your kids one night a week and pay €100 for maintenance and you think you're doing your fair share?

Two kids @50 each is just over €7 per day. I bet your ex spends a lot more than that.

And she has them 6 nights a week too.

In my opinion that's the very least you could do.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *etmebeurfantasyWoman over a year ago

My town

I applaud you paying maintenence I'm not making fun of you I really do ...my oldest children there father seems to think they live on fresh air maintained my oldest daughter for the first year of her life second daughter made one payment of maintenance. My children are both 19 and nearly 18 now. .... some father's simply don't care about the financial cost of bringing up children.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isdirtygirlWoman over a year ago

Dublin

If you helped to create the children,they should be maintained. Kids dont ask to be born Op. Sometimes maintenance isnt paid to the mother from pure spite when in reality, its the children who suffer. I always believed maintanace was paid depending on income and if youre living on 188 euro a week, 100 euro is a bit extreme as a judge will take your living expenses into account. Id be careful though, if youre working odd days with cash in hand, your ex can inform the court of this. Take your kids more often while youre not working and show your ex, that although you might not be able to make a huge contribution to their upbringing, youre willing to spend more time with them.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

How maNy kids you have if you are on dole its only 20euro a week per child "

Three kids

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It's not about the money I was always paying the maintenance in the first place and going halfway on back to school birthdays and chrismas. Just pisses me off that there's men out there that haven't been paying anything and get away with it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *etmebeurfantasyWoman over a year ago

My town

"It's not about the money I was always paying the maintenance in the first place and going halfway on back to school birthdays and chrismas. Just pisses me off that there's men out there that haven't been paying anything and get away with it. "
Just don't get annoyed it's a waisted emotion.... your paying and that's all that matters your seeing your kids too...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What does the fifty to your mother cover?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

it's a waisted emotion.... your paying and that's all that matters your seeing your kids too..."

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What does the fifty to your mother cover?"

Rent

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isdirtygirlWoman over a year ago

Dublin

Dodging dads can have maintenance payments stopped at the source if a judge sees fit to do where an order is attached to their PPS number and sent to their employer. Eventually all working dads will have to pay and those on social welfare will be required to contribute also. Youre doing your bit for your kids and thats the main thing.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aid backMan over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

firstly 100 euro for 3 kids and a wife is low even if you are on the dole. I have one child and even when I was unemployed I paid €50 a week maintenance and I paid half of the activities yes it was financially tough but it had to be done. as for the its not fair other people don't seem to pay as much approach don't mind what other people do and just be the father your kids need.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What does the fifty to your mother cover?

Rent "

Sorry, I know you said that, but I thought there might be more to it than that. I'm assuming, and I know I could be wrong, that she owns her house and isn't actually paying rent to anyone? Do you have to feed yourself on the 38 that's left over, or does she feed you and it's included in the money you give to her?

I have two dependants. My ex pays fifty a week for both and I cover almost everything else alone. I should say I try to cover the rest, it's always a case of robbing Peter to pay Paul. I'm now a master juggler.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What does the fifty to your mother cover?

Rent "

...& washing...& food, & heat, & tv, & leccy etc. etc.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *imwildWoman over a year ago

around

What were you paying her in maintenance prior to the €100 and what was your rent for flat?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What does the fifty to your mother cover?

Rent

...& washing...& food, & heat, & tv, & leccy etc. etc."

That's what I was wondering. Because if it pays all that too, then 38 spending money, while not a lot, is enough to get by on.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *tsUS1990Couple over a year ago

Dublin

So, it's actually €100 between three kids.

That's €4.70 a day.

Food, clothes, light, heat, and everything else they need.

For the price of a cup of coffee.

You're getting off lightly.

You don't get a prize for helping to support your kids. That's what you're supposed to do.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So, it's actually €100 between three kids.

That's €4.70 a day.

Food, clothes, light, heat, and everything else they need.

For the price of a cup of coffee.

You're getting off lightly.

You don't get a prize for helping to support your kids. That's what you're supposed to do."

I was always paying it anyway never missed a payment. I'm not looking for a prize they are my kids and my responsibility just pissed off with other men not doing a thing and getting away with it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People are being a bit harsh on the OP. I have no kids and when i was on €188 a week i struggled to live on that.. rent, car insurance, car tax, car maintenance, food, electricity, I couldn't imagine living on €88 a week. It's the system in this country is pretty messed up. And I don't mean to be a shit but someone said OP pays for his 3 kids and wife. Why should he be supporting her aswel??

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was always paying it anyway never missed a payment. I'm not looking for a prize they are my kids and my responsibility just pissed off with other men not doing a thing and getting away with it "

Forget about them, concentrate on your own. They are irresponsible wankers, is that how you want to be seen?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People are being a bit harsh on the OP. I have no kids and when i was on €188 a week i struggled to live on that.. rent, car insurance, car tax, car maintenance, food, electricity, I couldn't imagine living on €88 a week. It's the system in this country is pretty messed up. And I don't mean to be a shit but someone said OP pays for his 3 kids and wife. Why should he be supporting her aswel?? "

With all due respect they could have been harsher. Try surviving on little more than that paying rent, food bills and raising a kid yourself like most single mothers and other fathers do. Op needs to man up stop bitching about what others are doing and focus on doing the best he can for his kids

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh I agree he does need to stop bitching about what other people are, or are not, doing in this case.. I was just sympathetic towards the OP.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *etmebeurfantasyWoman over a year ago

My town

Come on guys I'm actually sticking up for the op here he's paying he's going without he's just making a comment. It looks like he's putting his kids first. I wish all father's was like op . Not saying he should be giving ohhh your a great father fur doing that. In my book it's fifty fifty Street when raising kids. He's just stating his current position

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/04/16 10:16:50]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Come on guys I'm actually sticking up for the op here he's paying he's going without he's just making a comment. It looks like he's putting his kids first. I wish all father's was like op . Not saying he should be giving ohhh your a great father fur doing that. In my book it's fifty fifty Street when raising kids. He's just stating his current position "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *tsUS1990Couple over a year ago

Dublin

It doesn't matter what anyone else does. You contribute less than a fiver a day per kid and seem to think that it isn't fair.

How much does your ex contribute to them?

Rent/mortgage alone costs a hell of a lot more than that. And she does all the heavy lifting with school/homework/bedtime/meals/sickness/activities etc 6 days a week.

Plenty of dads do everything they can for their kids and are happy to do it.

Rightly so. It's called being a parent.

Stop worrying about paying more than some for the care of your own kids.

You pay a lot less than most.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

None of us know the exact circumstances of this arrangement. Maybe his ex wife won't let him see the kids during the week so he can't help out more. Maybe she has a very well paid job. He is struggling at the moment. Said that this is just since Christmas. I'm sure when the OP is in a better situation financially he will be able to contribute more.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *etmebeurfantasyWoman over a year ago

My town

I was awarded 17 pound for two children.... as they took into consideration my ex current position. He had remarried and was raising a step child. Because he had a wife who had a child they took that into consideration even though his own children was his biological children...... that system was wrong. 17 pound a week which took ages to track him down through his tax code then when payments was due to be deducted from his wage the fooker would leave his job and the whole thing start all over again .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isdirtygirlWoman over a year ago

Dublin

"It doesn't matter what anyone else does. You contribute less than a fiver a day per kid and seem to think that it isn't fair.

How much does your ex contribute to them?

Rent/mortgage alone costs a hell of a lot more than that. And she does all the heavy lifting with school/homework/bedtime/meals/sickness/activities etc 6 days a week.

Plenty of dads do everything they can for their kids and are happy to do it.

Rightly so. It's called being a parent.

Stop worrying about paying more than some for the care of your own kids.

You pay a lot less than most."

Thats the unfortunate thing when a marriage breaks down, the Op can hardly be blamed for his circumstances at the moment and usually its the mother left to raise the kids on a daily basis. Im sure if hes successful gaining employment, things for him, his ex wife and more importantly his children will improve. Social welfare will not pay him for paying maintenance if his ex is in receipt of single family payment which is 29.50 a week per child.You are right when you said its called being a parent but the father whos away from his children needs means to live also. Otherwise hes another statistic on the homeless list. Id not want that for my ex, i can assure you.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It doesn't matter what anyone else does. You contribute less than a fiver a day per kid and seem to think that it isn't fair.

How much does your ex contribute to them?

Rent/mortgage alone costs a hell of a lot more than that. And she does all the heavy lifting with school/homework/bedtime/meals/sickness/activities etc 6 days a week.

Plenty of dads do everything they can for their kids and are happy to do it.

Rightly so. It's called being a parent.

Stop worrying about paying more than some for the care of your own kids.

You pay a lot less than most."

As I've said it's not about the money other men not paying and gets away with it if I had to pay €400 maintenance a week I would

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It doesn't matter what anyone else does. You contribute less than a fiver a day per kid and seem to think that it isn't fair.

How much does your ex contribute to them?

Rent/mortgage alone costs a hell of a lot more than that. And she does all the heavy lifting with school/homework/bedtime/meals/sickness/activities etc 6 days a week.

Plenty of dads do everything they can for their kids and are happy to do it.

Rightly so. It's called being a parent.

Stop worrying about paying more than some for the care of your own kids.

You pay a lot less than most.

As I've said it's not about the money other men not paying and gets away with it if I had to pay €400 maintenance a week I would "

Nobody ever said life was fair, instead of envying men who "get away with it", perhaps you should think about the children who have to grow up knowing that a parent doesn't give a damn about them.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why don't you take the kids and the house and throw her out on the street?

Have her pay you maintenance instead

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My ex gets 188 a week on unemployment and he pays €45 a week for 3 kids (€15 for each child) because he has to be able to live too .. if i were you i would go back to courts and ask for lower amount to pay as you obviously cant live off €38 a week ..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isdirtygirlWoman over a year ago

Dublin

"Why don't you take the kids and the house and throw her out on the street?

Have her pay you maintenance instead

Sorry but two wrongs dont make a right and unless theres unforeseen circumstances, the courts will always favour the mother remaining in the family home. Either the Op left rather than constant arguments in front of his children or a barring order was placed to remove him. The whole issue is like a domino effect. The ones it affects most here is his children and he might he a tad pissed off, hes right to be pissed off too. I actually applaud him for paying 100 euro a week... isnt he lucky his mothers home was there for him!.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That depends OP

Can you survive as it stands?

If so why would you appeal? I can only assume the money is helping your kids get on ?

People's circumstances differ but comparing yourself to others who "get away" with paying less makes you look like you think you are getting a raw deal!

Do you think that?

My suggestion is support your kids as best you can and don't worry about anyone else

Re the others who don't bother supporting their children ...

well they are not worth the shite on my shoe

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why don't you take the kids and the house and throw her out on the street?

Have her pay you maintenance instead

My ex was cheating on me and told me she wanted to out. Luckily enough I was working at the time and could afford a flat. I thank my mother every day that she could put a roof over my head and a place to stay with my kids. I'm paying maintenance and have from day one. My whole point of this forum was there's men out there getting away with not playing and who don't bother with their kids

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isdirtygirlWoman over a year ago

Dublin

"Why don't you take the kids and the house and throw her out on the street?

Have her pay you maintenance instead

Then my point of view is the men that dont bother with their kids will die lonely old men. As long as you do right by your children,nothing else matters, theyll grow up knowing theyve a mum and dad who loves them even though theyre separated. The law towards maintenance payments is changing slowly. Which is right too. It hurts both partners financially but makes the best of a bad situation in my book. Thats why so many live in the family home and live separate lives. Thankfully, my ex and myself sat down and thrashed everything out before we divorced. Hes an amazing dad and ill never knock him. Exes and partners or ex wives need to push the emotion of hate to the side and talk about the upkeep of their kids instead of slagging each other off.its a simple solution of give and take which is what a relationship is based on.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why don't you take the kids and the house and throw her out on the street?

Have her pay you maintenance instead

Nah I'm sorry but that's not quite accurate Kodi..

You asked should you appeal the decision which implies that you want to pay less like the others

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why don't you take the kids and the house and throw her out on the street?

Have her pay you maintenance instead

Nah I'm sorry but that's not quite accurate Kodi..

You asked should you appeal the decision which implies that you want to pay less like the others

I don't want to pay less than others I just wanted to know was that payment for maintenance fair. When I was working I was paying €100 a week for maintenance and now I'm not working ive to pay the same. I've taken a solicitors advice that payment is fair and I'll gladly pay for the up keep of my kids and take them every weekend.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"An incentive to get back to work. "

Three interviews and 100 CVs sent out by email or handed in I'm not going to give up been working every since I was 18 and left school. My last job was only temporarily but with a view of full time work.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *dam1995Man over a year ago

mullingar

"An incentive to get back to work.

Op I personally think you should go back to court people saying its not enough but you have to live aswell

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have a child with an ex who is from and now lives in another country to me. I had to go to court in two different countries just to get access. I always paid maintenance even when she wouldn't allow me to see her. The court ordered I pay 265€ a month 8 years ago, I pay more than double that now plus school trips, yoga, ballet, theatre and horse riding lessons. Plus flights, non accompanied minor when she comes to see me and flights and hotels when I go and she her which is at least twice a month. A month doesn't go by her mother calls me to ask with help to pay for some other class, trip, holiday.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a child with an ex who is from and now lives in another country to me. I had to go to court in two different countries just to get access. I always paid maintenance even when she wouldn't allow me to see her. The court ordered I pay 265€ a month 8 years ago, I pay more than double that now plus school trips, yoga, ballet, theatre and horse riding lessons. Plus flights, non accompanied minor when she comes to see me and flights and hotels when I go and she her which is at least twice a month. A month doesn't go by her mother calls me to ask with help to pay for some other class, trip, holiday.

Oh my goodness I want to marry you and have your babies....

you are just the cutest....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And you know what. I pay it, gladly. I only want the best for my little angel, she's 9 this year and I know I only have a limited time at being "super hero dad". There is no one like me in the world to this princess. "
well said buddy! I've two girls and pay £200 a week. Plus the Nike air max, McDonald's trips and whatever else we do!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"An incentive to get back to work.

Op I personally think you should go back to court people saying its not enough but you have to live aswell "

I can't go back to court the solicitor said that's a fair payment and only wasting money which now I don't have. The only thing I can do is keep paying her and keep looking for work

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"An incentive to get back to work.

Op I personally think you should go back to court people saying its not enough but you have to live aswell

I can't go back to court the solicitor said that's a fair payment and only wasting money which now I don't have. The only thing I can do is keep paying her and keep looking for work "
buddy keep the head up! I truly feel your pain

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh my goodness I want to marry you and have your babies....

you are just the cutest.... "
I'm

Bloody cute also! Very cute in fact lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh my goodness I want to marry you and have your babies....

you are just the cutest.... I'm

Bloody cute also! Very cute in fact lol

And live in a different country!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

And you know what. I pay it, gladly. I only want the best for my little angel, she's 9 this year and I know I only have a limited time at being "super hero dad". There is no one like me in the world to this princess. well said buddy! I've two girls and pay £200 a week. Plus the Nike air max, McDonald's trips and whatever else we do! "

That's what I was doing and going halves on birthdays chrismas and back to school.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh my goodness I want to marry you and have your babies....

you are just the cutest.... "

So do I

Oh wait

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *dam1995Man over a year ago

mullingar

I have to say fair play mate you never gave up to see your little one I did same fought to see mine since born thats commitment what you do fair play she will thank you in years to come for going to see her that often and distance

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh my goodness I want to marry you and have your babies....

you are just the cutest.... I'm

Bloody cute also! Very cute in fact lol

And live in a different country!

"
I'll move to limerick!!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aughtyTippcplCouple over a year ago

Nearby

"So, it's actually €100 between three kids.

That's €4.70 a day.

Food, clothes, light, heat, and everything else they need.

For the price of a cup of coffee.

You're getting off lightly.

You don't get a prize for helping to support your kids. That's what you're supposed to do.

I was always paying it anyway never missed a payment. I'm not looking for a prize they are my kids and my responsibility just pissed off with other men not doing a thing and getting away with it "

The men u talk about that are getting away with it are doing so because their exes are struggling to pay out everything for the kids they can't afford to get them in to court.

Yes there's legal aid, but even that has to be paid for €150. I know its not that much but when ur clothing, feeding, covering every cost for the kids, rent to keep a roof over their heads, pocket money, lunch money. That €150 can be very hard to come by. I have one of those deadbeats as an ex €50 a week for 3 kids, and at that he doesn't bother paying most of the time. I have to chase him for it. But that €50 is all he'll give, no help with school fees, Xmas, birthdays, nothing. I don't work, I'm classed disabled so I have to do it all on a social benefit. While he sits on a bar stool coz the "poor guy can't afford to pay any more". Sorry I had a bit of a rant here

Tina

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If u wana get back to court stop paying her she will have u back what line of work are u in

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thank god for condoms

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If u wana get back to court stop paying her she will have u back what line of work are u in "

If I don't pay her that's a mark against me and it will effect me it's a court order you have to pay it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If u wana get back to court stop paying her she will have u back what line of work are u in "

Mainly working on the buildings or welding but there's not much in Kildare I've been applying for jobs in Dublin

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/04/16 13:23:33]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe you should try negotiating with the mother. My ex hasn't paid maintanence since his business closed 4 years ago I don't chase him. I couldn't listen or let the kids listen to that crying.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It doesn't matter what anyone else does. You contribute less than a fiver a day per kid and seem to think that it isn't fair.

How much does your ex contribute to them?

Rent/mortgage alone costs a hell of a lot more than that. And she does all the heavy lifting with school/homework/bedtime/meals/sickness/activities etc 6 days a week.

Plenty of dads do everything they can for their kids and are happy to do it.

Rightly so. It's called being a parent.

Stop worrying about paying more than some for the care of your own kids.

You pay a lot less than most.

Well said,never mind the self rightious know all people here. You are homeless,jobless and pennyless, and out side of youre mother and kids lovess ,you have to rebuild youre life ,from scratch. I know Im there.To do this you will need resources. Money ,support and a bit of understanding mainly from youre ex.Dont mind the silly twits "ohh I pay this and I pay that " everyones case is different. If you cant afford to pay what ever she wants YOU CANT AFFORD TO PAY.Renegotiate the payments for now to be reviewed when youre financial situation changes for the better.Try to avoid court at all costs but if it has to be done do it, youre children wont thank you now but they will in time when you have youre life rebuilt,and you can be as good of a father as you possibly can be .She still will have more disposable income than you, and if she has a fancy man he can cough up some of the desposable income too if hes living under her roof.Dont be a gobshite, protect youre life and rebuild it. Shes doing it and she will do it ,with or without you.So work on those three things , Income /job ,home of youre own ,relationship with kids, and if that means she has to suck up a bit of the pain for now well ,dont beat youre self up about,you can only do youre best, Ohh and by the way folks , the recovery isnt real , its horse shit on RTE.Its not happening.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It doesn't matter what anyone else does. You contribute less than a fiver a day per kid and seem to think that it isn't fair.

How much does your ex contribute to them?

Rent/mortgage alone costs a hell of a lot more than that. And she does all the heavy lifting with school/homework/bedtime/meals/sickness/activities etc 6 days a week.

Plenty of dads do everything they can for their kids and are happy to do it.

Rightly so. It's called being a parent.

Stop worrying about paying more than some for the care of your own kids.

You pay a lot less than most.

Well said

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Maybe you should try negotiating with the mother. My ex hasn't paid maintanence since his business closed 4 years ago I don't chase him. I couldn't listen or let the kids listen to that crying. "

I've tried negotiating with her but she brought me to court.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isdirtygirlWoman over a year ago

Dublin

The courts act as a mediation service if you cant agree, where the decision is made by the judge on the information presented to the courts. I know through friends of mine, that any new applications made through social welfare, that the social welfare are obliged to inform the appilcant that they must seek maintenance. If no proof of seeking maintenance isnt provided to the social welfare, payments can be stopped. The applicant must be seen to be " making an effort".Maybe your ex felt she had no option but to go to the courts.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Think I'll give this up for a while and concentrate on my kids and got back on my feet. Thanks for all the reply's

. See you all on the forums

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The courts act as a mediation service if you cant agree, where the decision is made by the judge on the information presented to the courts. I know through friends of mine, that any new applications made through social welfare, that the social welfare are obliged to inform the appilcant that they must seek maintenance. If no proof of seeking maintenance isnt provided to the social welfare, payments can be stopped. The applicant must be seen to be " making an effort".Maybe your ex felt she had no option but to go to the courts. "

I was paying her maintenance probably not enough but I asked her could I pay X amount on till I got back working. She said no she wanted the full amount and she brought me to court

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *entleman36Man over a year ago

dublin

I would suggest getting advice from a separated parents group and i would say that to anyone, im not going to name the group here but i find it very good and its great for confidence too, its based in dublin if anyone is interested in getting the name mail me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If u wana get back to court stop paying her she will have u back what line of work are u in

Mainly working on the buildings or welding but there's not much in Kildare I've been applying for jobs in Dublin "

Op have You considered a job outside of your chosen field . Take any job available . If that doesn't work . Take a spring board course to up skill , get a degree , learn a new skill , do something proactive . Make a long term plan . There are opportunities out there go out and get them . There may be a down turn in construction related work in this country but other areas are dong well and hiring . Plus a back to education allowance is available . I know several people who did this , social care degrees , project management , engineering , electronics , pharma , the possibilities are end less . It isn't all doom and gloom . It will be a long haul but worth it and your kids will thank you for it in the end . It can be daunting going back to education but it can and will change your life .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If u wana get back to court stop paying her she will have u back what line of work are u in

Mainly working on the buildings or welding but there's not much in Kildare I've been applying for jobs in Dublin

Thanks for the advice I'll definitely look into it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If u wana get back to court stop paying her she will have u back what line of work are u in

Mainly working on the buildings or welding but there's not much in Kildare I've been applying for jobs in Dublin

Thanks for the advice I'll definitely look into it

Google "springboard "just as an example of one of the courses they offer as a welder , you would qualify for entry into BSc in Craft Management . Best of luck and chin up .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic