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Guide to picking a Grand National Winner
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Picking a winner for the Grand National isn’t rocket science. If it was rocket science, it would be called rocket science. If that much isn’t clear to you, then you need this guide to picking a winner more than I thought.
ALWAYS back a grey horse. Grey horses are the equestrian equivalent of black athletes in the 100 metres.
Make love to a black cat while in the bookies. This happens all the time, so don’t be shy. Ignore the security guard trying to stop you, it’s probably his first day.
Download The Horse Whisperer on Bit Torrent, honestly, I haven’t seen it myself, but there’s got to be something worthwhile in there
Ring up that lad you went to school with. You know the one; always mitching, left school at 16 after getting one of the teachers pregnant? The one who doesn’t seem to have ever worked a day in his life, but always has brand new runners? The one who can somehow manage to make his social pay for a full week of playing pool and smoking outside the pub? The one, who, despite being an ugly little c*nt, managed to ride the gorgeous Polish girl who works in the cloakroom of your local nightclub? The one who looks like he hasn’t aged a day in 20 years, while you’ve started to resemble your Dad in the 90s? Ring him up and ask him who’s going to win. He knows. Somehow, that fucker always knows. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Picking a winner for the Grand National isn’t rocket science. If it was rocket science, it would be called rocket science. If that much isn’t clear to you, then you need this guide to picking a winner more than I thought.
ALWAYS back a grey horse. Grey horses are the equestrian equivalent of black athletes in the 100 metres.
Make love to a black cat while in the bookies. This happens all the time, so don’t be shy. Ignore the security guard trying to stop you, it’s probably his first day.
Download The Horse Whisperer on Bit Torrent, honestly, I haven’t seen it myself, but there’s got to be something worthwhile in there
Ring up that lad you went to school with. You know the one; always mitching, left school at 16 after getting one of the teachers pregnant? The one who doesn’t seem to have ever worked a day in his life, but always has brand new runners? The one who can somehow manage to make his social pay for a full week of playing pool and smoking outside the pub? The one, who, despite being an ugly little c*nt, managed to ride the gorgeous Polish girl who works in the cloakroom of your local nightclub? The one who looks like he hasn’t aged a day in 20 years, while you’ve started to resemble your Dad in the 90s? Ring him up and ask him who’s going to win. He knows. Somehow, that fucker always knows."
Hahaha this is class
Just got thrown out of the bookies. Will never be able to look at a black cat in the eye again!!!! |
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