A farmer is lying in bed with his wife,when he turns to her and grabs her by the tits and says "honey,if we could get milk from these, we could sell the cow".Then he grabs her by the pussy and says "if we could get eggs out of here, we could sell the chickens".She turns to him and smiles,grabs him by the cock and says "honey, if you could get this up,i could get rid of your brother" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A farmer is lying in bed with his wife,when he turns to her and grabs her by the tits and says "honey,if we could get milk from these, we could sell the cow".Then he grabs her by the pussy and says "if we could get eggs out of here, we could sell the chickens".She turns to him and smiles,grabs him by the cock and says "honey, if you could get this up,i could get rid of your brother""
 lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And here comes the ban in
5.....
4....
3...
2..
1.
Why don't gypsy girls go for vaginal smear tests?
Have you ever tried to open a toasted cheese sandwich.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And here comes the ban in
5.....
4....
3...
2..
1.
Why don't gypsy girls go for vaginal smear tests?
Have you ever tried to open a toasted cheese sandwich.
"
That's terrible.
Mainly because I make that joke about pensioners. |
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By *andaCouple
over a year ago
co down |
A strikingly handsome young man walked into the office of a Hollywood agent with his resume and portfolio in hand. The agent reviewed the young man's slim resume and small portfolio with the care that was deserving of this fine young specimen. "You have the very obvious good looks and excellent demeanour of an actor. Tell me, have you had any roles that I might be aware of."
"Other than the requisite high school and college plays,
"No sir," said the handsome young man.
"I dare say I know the reason why, with a name like yours," said the agent.
"Sir?"
"Your name. Penis Van Lesbian. That's not a name that will go far in Hollywood. I'd love to represent you, but you'll have to change your name."
"Sir," the handsome young man protested. "The Van Lesbian name was my father's, my grandfather's and his father's name. We have carried this name for generations and I will not change it for Hollywood or any other reason"
"If you won't change your name, I cannot represent you young man."
"Then I bid you farewell-my name will not change." With that, Penis Van Lesbian left the agents office never to return.
Five Years Later...
The Hollywood agent returned to his office after lunch with some producers and shuffled through his mail. Mostly junk mail, trade journals and the like. There was one letter. He opened the envelope and removed the letter. As he unfolded the fine linen paper, a check dropped from the folds and onto his desk. He looked at the cheque. It was for $ 50,000 dollars! He read the letter:
Dear Sir:
Several years ago, I entered your office determined to become an actor. You refused to represent me unless I changed my name. I objected, saying the Van Lesbian name had been carried for generations and left your office. However, upon leaving I chanced to reconsider my hastiness and after considerable reflection, I decided to heed your advice and endeavoured to change my name.
Now I am a famous actor with many roles and known to millions worldwide.
Having achieved this fame and fortune, it is often that I think back to my meeting with you and your insistence that I change my name. I owe you a debt of gratitude, so please accept this cheque with my humble thanks, for it was your idea, which has brought me to such wealth and fame.
Very Sincerely Yours,
Dick Van Dyke
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Husband and wife out walking,hubby says your ass is so big it looks like a washing machine,later in bed horny hubby starts touching wife,she turns and says its not worth starting washing machine for such a small load you better do it by hand. |
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A room full of 11/12 years old where sitting in class when the teacher tells them to make a short sentence about themselves.
After 30 minutes go by she calls the first one up to read their sentence out to class.
The boy stands tall and says My name is Dan when I become a man I want to travel to Africa and Japan.
The next one gets up and she reads hers aloud to the class. My name is Sally O Brady when I grown up I'd like to have a baby.
The teacher see's a couple snigger at the back of class so calls one of them up to read there's.
As the boy walks stands in front of the class and says " well my name is also Dan never mind Africa and Japan. If Sally O Brady wants a baby I'm her fucking man.
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Gorgeous girl walks into the doctors,the doctor asks her "what seems to be the problem?" She says "doctor I have a problem with my lady parts" so the doc says "no problem hop up on the table I'll have a look" girl hops up drops her panties the doc comes over has a poke around and a look then he says to the girl "I will have to numb it for you" girl says "OK" the doctor buries his face in her pussy and goes numnumnumnumnum!!!! |
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lol
