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Downside of swinging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yesterday morning I received a letter in the post that basically said..
You're my really good friend and I can't tell you face to face but 'insert hubby's name here' is having an affair and I saw them together.
I feel really sorry for you and I had to tell you.
Hope you're ok my good friend.
J
Now this was posted to my house without the street address or house number and basically the address was gotten off Facebook as it was incomplete. (I have a genius postman  )
Me and hubby are pretty open about our lifestyle and 80% of our friends know. The rest don't know simply because it never came up in conversation. Of course we'd prefer our families don't know cause they are all old school Catholic and would prob drop dead of shock.
I was so shocked that someone who considers me 'such a good friend' would hide behind a typed letter and not come talk to me in person. I have no idea who it is and signed with J makes no sense. Now I'm sad because obviously one of my friends isn't what I thought they were. I understand they might be concerned but for god sake talk to me and don't hide.
Sometimes I wish people would mind their own business.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like a scorned woman to me. I wouldn't take any notice of it, no real friend would send a letter like that. You have an open honest relationship with your husband that's all that matters. Hope your ok doll. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It doesn't sound like a friend to me rather than someone stirring shit...  "
Yep.. Now he's only been on a coffee meet in McDonald's the past month and he was hardly hunping her over the table.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sounds like a scorned woman to me. I wouldn't take any notice of it, no real friend would send a letter like that. You have an open honest relationship with your husband that's all that matters. Hope your ok doll."
I'm so pissed that they claim to be my friend. Hubby thought it was hilarious and I did at first but now I'm annoyed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ya i agree. But u will find out in a while who did send it by there reaction. "
I've been posting some stuff on Facebook trying to them out. People don't like to think you're ignoring them so hopefully whoever it is will give themselves away eventually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your friend is an asshole, listen you have said 80% of your friends know what yous are at, likely a NO gooder that hates to see you getting on with life. Fuck it chick, as long as you and huddy are honest with each I wouldn't get too annoyed about it. Both myself and my wife would often be seen having coffee and even a beer with males and females (outside of swinging) some people use to drop hints about this to us, but it's the type of people we are. If we meet someone we know rather it be man or woman we will stand chat and even head for a coffee together. Some people gives us dirty looks but the fact is that it's only a coffee, thankfully over the years people have gotten to know what we're like, simply 2 friendly people that loves nothing more than having a coffee or a chat with friends or people we enjoy company with. I've be told manys a time about herself chatting to so and so and he would ride anything that's alive, I just laugh it off. My other half is a real friendly out going girl and always makes time to chat. Me, I'd talk to the devil for the craic, some folk don't understand this because they can't get on with every day life without finding wrong in people.
Himself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. You need to think really carefully about this if you're "the friend" because a couple live together & if they reconcile after such a revelation in most cases you will become persona non grata.
A good friend would always tell but how good a friend are you seen as by them? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No. You need to think really carefully about this if you're "the friend" because a couple live together & if they reconcile after such a revelation in most cases you will become persona non grata.
A good friend would always tell but how good a friend are you seen as by them?"
If a friend came to me and said look I saw your hubby with a woman and I just thought you should know it would be fine and I could explain but to hide is not acceptable to me. I thought I had better friends than that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe they are afraid to tell you face to face incase you shoot the messenger, if you get me? "
Yes I get that but my real friends know I'm not that type of person. I would never do that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sure it wasn't the postman lol... Sounds like a troublemaker or a teenagers antics. Yourself and your hubby sound solid so why stress. "
Because it makes me sad that I've a friend who feels like they can't come and talk to me like a grown up.. They hide and feel sorry for me.. That's why I'm annoyed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I doubt very much it was a friend"
I honestly think whoever it was tried to make it look like a good friend of mine who's name begins with j. She knows what I do as we go a lot and I usually pick someone up and she couldn't care less. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sure it wasn't the postman lol... Sounds like a troublemaker or a teenagers antics. Yourself and your hubby sound solid so why stress.
Because it makes me sad that I've a friend who feels like they can't come and talk to me like a grown up.. They hide and feel sorry for me.. That's why I'm annoyed "
Friends don't send letters like that hun. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sure it wasn't the postman lol... Sounds like a troublemaker or a teenagers antics. Yourself and your hubby sound solid so why stress.
Because it makes me sad that I've a friend who feels like they can't come and talk to me like a grown up.. They hide and feel sorry for me.. That's why I'm annoyed
Friends don't send letters like that hun. "
I know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm so sorry Snow,I can only imagine how your feeling because I've had something similar done to me...
Your husband is seeing another woman,but instead of a letter the odd person decided to gossip about it behind my back,my sister found out and told me to my face...
Then a different friend did tell me what happened,yes I was annoyed,I'm annoyed still,but she told me she didn't want to hurt me by telling me...
I no longer bother with "the friend" who was "the gossip" but hey that's life or so I'm told.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I told you..
What pisses people like this off is to smile n just b happy.
Eventually they will trip up and god love them when u get ur hands on them lol  
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm so sorry Snow,I can only imagine how your feeling because I've had something similar done to me...
Your husband is seeing another woman,but instead of a letter the odd person decided to gossip about it behind my back,my sister found out and told me to my face...
Then a different friend did tell me what happened,yes I was annoyed,I'm annoyed still,but she told me she didn't want to hurt me by telling me...
I no longer bother with "the friend" who was "the gossip" but hey that's life or so I'm told.. "
he's seeing other women the same way I see other men.. I know everything he does cause he still feels like he needs to ask permission beforehand I just wish I knew who it was |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I told you..
What pisses people like this off is to smile n just b happy.
Eventually they will trip up and god love them when u get ur hands on them lol
"
I know I'm posting loads of lovie selfies on FB and posting pics about husbands needing constant supervision |
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Id not be saddened at your so called "friend".... youre saddened by a "non entity"who hasnt the balls to say it to your face but hides behind a letter instead.Theres folk out there who will always find ways to judge what they think you or your hubby are up to or anyone else for that matter.... give the " invisible friend" the middle finger and dont give it another thought. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Id not be saddened at your so called "friend".... youre saddened by a "non entity"who hasnt the balls to say it to your face but hides behind a letter instead.Theres folk out there who will always find ways to judge what they think you or your hubby are up to or anyone else for that matter.... give the " invisible friend" the middle finger and dont give it another thought. "
That's it exactly. I just wish I knew who it was. I really have no idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1) Don't sweat the small stuff.
2) It's all small stuff.
We are the equivalent of teeny tiny little ants floating around on a rock in space. All this stuff is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Enjoy your life and to hell with the begrudgers. |
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"Id not be saddened at your so called "friend".... youre saddened by a "non entity"who hasnt the balls to say it to your face but hides behind a letter instead.Theres folk out there who will always find ways to judge what they think you or your hubby are up to or anyone else for that matter.... give the " invisible friend" the middle finger and dont give it another thought.
That's it exactly. I just wish I knew who it was. I really have no idea "
Dont let it bother you. Its obviously someone not worrying about pet, as the entity has chosen to remain anonymous. My head would be wrecked trying to figure it out, which is why id not dwell it. Ye cant fix what youve no control over. Fuck em is what i say!!  |
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By *-ManMan
over a year ago
Kark |
Let's play Sherlock!!!
If this is not a bullshit letter and lets just say it's for real, to me this person sounds very conservative, maybe religious, not very adventurous, probably either single or in a very boring (sex wise) relationship, they think you'll recognise their hand writing, they're friendly with you but not enough to know your address (altho that could be a double bluff). Was it typed old skool on a typewriter or printed?
That's total conjecture but do you know anyone who fits the bill? I'm thinking the little old lady in the shop or a young person who's not wise to the ways of the world yet
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yesterday morning I received a letter in the post that basically said..
You're my really good friend and I can't tell you face to face but 'insert hubby's name here' is having an affair and I saw them together.
I feel really sorry for you and I had to tell you.
Hope you're ok my good friend.
J
Now this was posted to my house without the street address or house number and basically the address was gotten off Facebook as it was incomplete. (I have a genius postman )
Me and hubby are pretty open about our lifestyle and 80% of our friends know. The rest don't know simply because it never came up in conversation. Of course we'd prefer our families don't know cause they are all old school Catholic and would prob drop dead of shock.
I was so shocked that someone who considers me 'such a good friend' would hide behind a typed letter and not come talk to me in person. I have no idea who it is and signed with J makes no sense. Now I'm sad because obviously one of my friends isn't what I thought they were. I understand they might be concerned but for god sake talk to me and don't hide.
Sometimes I wish people would mind their own business. "
Before my ex and I split he was having an affair.
Deep down I knew, but could not face the reality that he was seeing someonelse..
One night I returned home and there was a message on the machine, a muffled mans voice..
Ask your hubby about his slutty mistress..
To this day, I still do not know who this was and nor do I want to.
Why? In the event of us having stayed together, a friendship would never have been repaired..
As in do not shoot the messenger..
Now, it seems that whoever sent you the letter is on the fringes of your circle of friends, they are not aufait with your lifestyle.
They maybe thought they were helping, yet afraid to come forward, incase you and hubby stayed together..
And the messenger got shot.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think a real friend would be more concerned about me rather than afraid of being the bearer of bad news. I'm not the type of person to go accusing people of spreading lies and flipping at them for telling me something they've seen. It's just not me. And my real friends would know this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It doesn't sound like a friend to me rather than someone stirring shit...
Yep.. Now he's only been on a coffee meet in McDonald's the past month and he was hardly hunping her over the table.. "
You sure he wasn't
God knows what happens in the play pens
But have to give it I ve had 1 of 2 coffee meets in McDonald's - nice coffee
On a serious note don't mind the be grudgers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It doesn't sound like a friend to me rather than someone stirring shit...
Yep.. Now he's only been on a coffee meet in McDonald's the past month and he was hardly hunping her over the table..
You sure he wasn't
God knows what happens in the play pens
But have to give it I ve had 1 of 2 coffee meets in McDonald's - nice coffee
On a serious note don't mind the be grudgers "
Ha ha if he could get a woman to do that in McDonald's fair play to him and I hope he can afford his bail money
And McDonald's was suggested as it was latish at night and he was just out of work and right beside his job. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It doesn't sound like a friend to me rather than someone stirring shit...
Yep.. Now he's only been on a coffee meet in McDonald's the past month and he was hardly hunping her over the table..
You sure he wasn't
God knows what happens in the play pens
But have to give it I ve had 1 of 2 coffee meets in McDonald's - nice coffee
On a serious note don't mind the be grudgers
Ha ha if he could get a woman to do that in McDonald's fair play to him and I hope he can afford his bail money
And McDonald's was suggested as it was latish at night and he was just out of work and right beside his job. "
I just wanted a happy meal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've seen similar threads on here before from someone who said they saw a friends husband out in an intimate setting with another woman. They were asking for advice on how to handle it. One person on the thread said they were in the same situation once and chose to tell her friend that her husband was cheating and it basically ended their friendship. The wife either didn't believe her husband was cheating or didn't appreciate her sticking her nose in. Someone else on the thread suggested contacting her anonymously and that was generally accepted on the thread as an appropriate response. The gutless response would be to do nothing. Talking face to face is ballsy but risks your friendship. The anonymous response was a good intermediate option. Try not to judge this person too harshly as it might be a carefully thought through option from someone who genuinely cares but doesn't want to risk your friendship.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It doesn't sound like a friend to me rather than someone stirring shit...
Yep.. Now he's only been on a coffee meet in McDonald's the past month and he was hardly hunping her over the table..
You sure he wasn't
God knows what happens in the play pens
But have to give it I ve had 1 of 2 coffee meets in McDonald's - nice coffee
On a serious note don't mind the be grudgers
Ha ha if he could get a woman to do that in McDonald's fair play to him and I hope he can afford his bail money
And McDonald's was suggested as it was latish at night and he was just out of work and right beside his job.
I just wanted a happy meal "
Things you men will do for a burger |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've seen similar threads on here before from someone who said they saw a friends husband out in an intimate setting with another woman. They were asking for advice on how to handle it. One person on the thread said they were in the same situation once and chose to tell her friend that her husband was cheating and it basically ended their friendship. The wife either didn't believe her husband was cheating or didn't appreciate her sticking her nose in. Someone else on the thread suggested contacting her anonymously and that was generally accepted on the thread as an appropriate response. The gutless response would be to do nothing. Talking face to face is ballsy but risks your friendship. The anonymous response was a good intermediate option. Try not to judge this person too harshly as it might be a carefully thought through option from someone who genuinely cares but doesn't want to risk your friendship.
"
As I said my real friends know I'm not that kind of person. I like my friends to be honest and upfront with me and I would be with them. If I was in that situation id tell my friend and if she chose to go off on me then that's her problem. I did what I had to do as their friend.
At this stage it could be anyone. A friend suggested it could be a guy I've met, a woman he's met or just someone who really doesn't like us. Who knows... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It doesn't sound like a friend to me rather than someone stirring shit...
Yep.. Now he's only been on a coffee meet in McDonald's the past month and he was hardly hunping her over the table..
You sure he wasn't
God knows what happens in the play pens
But have to give it I ve had 1 of 2 coffee meets in McDonald's - nice coffee
On a serious note don't mind the be grudgers
Ha ha if he could get a woman to do that in McDonald's fair play to him and I hope he can afford his bail money
And McDonald's was suggested as it was latish at night and he was just out of work and right beside his job.
I just wanted a happy meal
Things you men will do for a burger "
Furry burger?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it could be someone with a grudge of course.. Or it could be one of the 20% of your friends who doesn't know and who has had a heart wrenching time figuring out what to do. You'll probably never know. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It doesn't sound like a friend to me rather than someone stirring shit...
Yep.. Now he's only been on a coffee meet in McDonald's the past month and he was hardly hunping her over the table..
You sure he wasn't
God knows what happens in the play pens
But have to give it I ve had 1 of 2 coffee meets in McDonald's - nice coffee
On a serious note don't mind the be grudgers
Ha ha if he could get a woman to do that in McDonald's fair play to him and I hope he can afford his bail money
And McDonald's was suggested as it was latish at night and he was just out of work and right beside his job.
I just wanted a happy meal
Things you men will do for a burger
Furry burger? "
If they're selling furry burgers in your McDonald's you may want to find another restaurant |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes it could be someone with a grudge of course.. Or it could be one of the 20% of your friends who doesn't know and who has had a heart wrenching time figuring out what to do. You'll probably never know. "
Yep.. Doubt I'll ever find out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it could be someone with a grudge of course.. Or it could be one of the 20% of your friends who doesn't know and who has had a heart wrenching time figuring out what to do. You'll probably never know.
Yep.. Doubt I'll ever find out "
When u do find out I will come down n we will go out n give them all something to talk about
Or I can kick their heads in BAhaha
   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes it could be someone with a grudge of course.. Or it could be one of the 20% of your friends who doesn't know and who has had a heart wrenching time figuring out what to do. You'll probably never know.
Yep.. Doubt I'll ever find out
When u do find out I will come down n we will go out n give them all something to talk about
Or I can kick their heads in BAhaha
"
Ha ha violence never solves anything! I'm a lover not a fighter |
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"It doesn't sound like a friend to me rather than someone stirring shit...
Yep.. Now he's only been on a coffee meet in McDonald's the past month and he was hardly hunping her over the table..
You sure he wasn't
God knows what happens in the play pens
But have to give it I ve had 1 of 2 coffee meets in McDonald's - nice coffee
On a serious note don't mind the be grudgers
Ha ha if he could get a woman to do that in McDonald's fair play to him and I hope he can afford his bail money
And McDonald's was suggested as it was latish at night and he was just out of work and right beside his job. "
Ive just seen this..... a work colleague of his maybe thats met you before?... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you sure that he has not been on any other meets in public?
Seems to be an over the top reaction by someone seeing him in McDonalds with a woman..."
No sure I have to kick him out to get him to meet people. Most of the time he's not bothered. We tell each other everything and sure what's the point in lying if we actually let each other meet people? That's the only meet (with someone new) he's had in ages. He has 2 regulars but he goes to their houses. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If it was a friend then they would know your address, wouldn't they?"
The street name and number was missing as was the carbury bit. Just the town I'm in and Kildare. The postman deserves an award
And if you look on FB it's just my town and Kildare on it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It doesn't sound like a friend to me rather than someone stirring shit...
Yep.. Now he's only been on a coffee meet in McDonald's the past month and he was hardly hunping her over the table..
You sure he wasn't
God knows what happens in the play pens
But have to give it I ve had 1 of 2 coffee meets in McDonald's - nice coffee
On a serious note don't mind the be grudgers
Ha ha if he could get a woman to do that in McDonald's fair play to him and I hope he can afford his bail money
And McDonald's was suggested as it was latish at night and he was just out of work and right beside his job.
Ive just seen this..... a work colleague of his maybe thats met you before?... "
I don't think so. He's worked there 15 years and is say I know 2 people he works with. I don't go to Xmas parties or anything as they're all old boring men. |
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"Yes it's probably just a stirrer if that is all they could put on envelope!
And the address was typed on the envelope not a lot of my friends could figure out how to do that "
Looks just like a trouble maker chancing their arm!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Snow my postman knows my name so he'd know wgere to bring letter.. I have lived in this estate 6 years but I've changed houses after I left DH .. But postman still brings me letters posted to old address |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you sure that he has not been on any other meets in public?
Seems to be an over the top reaction by someone seeing him in McDonalds with a woman...
No sure I have to kick him out to get him to meet people. Most of the time he's not bothered. We tell each other everything and sure what's the point in lying if we actually let each other meet people? That's the only meet (with someone new) he's had in ages. He has 2 regulars but he goes to their houses. "
Honestly the more I read into your posts, the more I am thinking the sender is set on causing trouble..
Perhaps it is a friend pissed off with their own miserable marriage , see you both in an open, honest exciting relationship, and want to hurt you both..
Burn the letter and move on .. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes it's probably just a stirrer if that is all they could put on envelope!
And the address was typed on the envelope not a lot of my friends could figure out how to do that
Looks just like a trouble maker chancing their arm!!"
It's 50/50 at this stage. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you sure that he has not been on any other meets in public?
Seems to be an over the top reaction by someone seeing him in McDonalds with a woman...
No sure I have to kick him out to get him to meet people. Most of the time he's not bothered. We tell each other everything and sure what's the point in lying if we actually let each other meet people? That's the only meet (with someone new) he's had in ages. He has 2 regulars but he goes to their houses.
Honestly the more I read into your posts, the more I am thinking the sender is set on causing trouble..
Perhaps it is a friend pissed off with their own miserable marriage , see you both in an open, honest exciting relationship, and want to hurt you both..
Burn the letter and move on .. "
Maybe.. I'm still going to wonder who it was though. I wouldn't be surprised if I got another one. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Snow my postman knows my name so he'd know wgere to bring letter.. I have lived in this estate 6 years but I've changed houses after I left DH .. But postman still brings me letters posted to old address "
Well I've o my lived here 18mths but it's a tiny town |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is there a postmark?"
It came through portlaoise mails centre which means they are nearby or travelled to post it. I'm a dub and the majority of my friends live in Dublin. |
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"Is there a postmark?
It came through portlaoise mails centre which means they are nearby or travelled to post it. I'm a dub and the majority of my friends live in Dublin. "
Ahh right, mine go though there too!
Personally I reckon it is a troublemaker who took what they could from your facebook page and just posted it in case it got through!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is there a postmark?
It came through portlaoise mails centre which means they are nearby or travelled to post it. I'm a dub and the majority of my friends live in Dublin.
Ahh right, mine go though there too!
Personally I reckon it is a troublemaker who took what they could from your facebook page and just posted it in case it got through!!"
Probably.. I'm going post a pic of the envelope and say how clever my postman is finding me with only part of my address.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yesterday morning I received a letter in the post that basically said..
You're my really good friend and I can't tell you face to face but 'insert hubby's name here' is having an affair and I saw them together.
I feel really sorry for you and I had to tell you.
Hope you're ok my good friend.
J
Now this was posted to my house without the street address or house number and basically the address was gotten off Facebook as it was incomplete. (I have a genius postman )
Me and hubby are pretty open about our lifestyle and 80% of our friends know. The rest don't know simply because it never came up in conversation. Of course we'd prefer our families don't know cause they are all old school Catholic and would prob drop dead of shock.
I was so shocked that someone who considers me 'such a good friend' would hide behind a typed letter and not come talk to me in person. I have no idea who it is and signed with J makes no sense. Now I'm sad because obviously one of my friends isn't what I thought they were. I understand they might be concerned but for god sake talk to me and don't hide.
Sometimes I wish people would mind their own business. "
If they got your address off facebook they are more than likely to see it there than fab. |
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"Is there a postmark?
It came through portlaoise mails centre which means they are nearby or travelled to post it. I'm a dub and the majority of my friends live in Dublin.
Ahh right, mine go though there too!
Personally I reckon it is a troublemaker who took what they could from your facebook page and just posted it in case it got through!!
Probably.. I'm going post a pic of the envelope and say how clever my postman is finding me with only part of my address.. "
lol.. a friend just sent me a Xmas card with just my name and county and I got it!
... and No, my name isn't all that unusual! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yesterday morning I received a letter in the post that basically said..
You're my really good friend and I can't tell you face to face but 'insert hubby's name here' is having an affair and I saw them together.
I feel really sorry for you and I had to tell you.
Hope you're ok my good friend.
J
Now this was posted to my house without the street address or house number and basically the address was gotten off Facebook as it was incomplete. (I have a genius postman )
Me and hubby are pretty open about our lifestyle and 80% of our friends know. The rest don't know simply because it never came up in conversation. Of course we'd prefer our families don't know cause they are all old school Catholic and would prob drop dead of shock.
I was so shocked that someone who considers me 'such a good friend' would hide behind a typed letter and not come talk to me in person. I have no idea who it is and signed with J makes no sense. Now I'm sad because obviously one of my friends isn't what I thought they were. I understand they might be concerned but for god sake talk to me and don't hide.
Sometimes I wish people would mind their own business.
If they got your address off facebook they are more than likely to see it there than fab. "
No.. Carbury covers several towns. It's not the actual town I live in |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is there a postmark?
It came through portlaoise mails centre which means they are nearby or travelled to post it. I'm a dub and the majority of my friends live in Dublin.
Ahh right, mine go though there too!
Personally I reckon it is a troublemaker who took what they could from your facebook page and just posted it in case it got through!!
Probably.. I'm going post a pic of the envelope and say how clever my postman is finding me with only part of my address..
lol.. a friend just sent me a Xmas card with just my name and county and I got it!
... and No, my name isn't all that unusual!"
Ya gotta give an post their dues |
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Hmm it is a little odd to be honest, I know your annoyed that if it is a so called friend they felt the need to hide but that's easy to say when you're the one that knows your husband isn't having an affair. Clearly they don't know you swing so they don't know there's another explanation. I myself lost two very good friends when I had told my friend (after being asked outright) that her partner was cheating on her long story short she took him back and they both stopped talking to me as a result so I can understand why someone would want to hide who they are but I don't see why they would send the letter at all. Your better off ignoring it, you know the truth and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I doubt very much it was a friend
I honestly think whoever it was tried to make it look like a good friend of mine who's name begins with j. She knows what I do as we go a lot and I usually pick someone up and she couldn't care less. "
That was my thought ... that whoever sent it was trying to make it seem like you were close friends. Its probably someone you hardly know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I still can't see the downside to swinging here.
Downside to having a friend who doesn't know your address I can see, and the downside to having a friend who sends dodgy letters.
However I can't see the downside to swinging in your post at all. What has getting weird letters in the post from your civvy friends got to do with swinging?
Do you have swingers as friends on Facebook?
If so maybe you'd want to reconsider this.
I seriously could never understand why swingers friend each other on Facebook. It's just weird. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I still can't see the downside to swinging here.
Downside to having a friend who doesn't know your address I can see, and the downside to having a friend who sends dodgy letters.
However I can't see the downside to swinging in your post at all. What has getting weird letters in the post from your civvy friends got to do with swinging?
Do you have swingers as friends on Facebook?
If so maybe you'd want to reconsider this.
I seriously could never understand why swingers friend each other on Facebook. It's just weird. "
I suppose the downside is that I've a friend out there who thinks I'm a idiot with a cheating husband and when I find out who it is I'll have to explain to someone who I probably wouldn't have told anyway.
I seriously doubt that the person is a swinger, it's a friend. And yes I have one or two people I know from this lifestyle who I'm friends with on Facebook. We are no longer playmates but over the years they've become good friends and they don't want their lifestyle broadcasted any more than I do. We would have a platonic friendship now. |
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" I seriously doubt that the person is a swinger, it's a friend. And yes I have one or two people I know from this lifestyle who I'm friends with on Facebook. We are no longer playmates but over the years they've become good friends and they don't want their lifestyle broadcasted any more than I do. We would have a platonic friendship now. "
Could it be someone you rejected here getting your facebook stuff?
We all hear/read of the abuse females get if they turn some guys down,,, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I seriously doubt that the person is a swinger, it's a friend. And yes I have one or two people I know from this lifestyle who I'm friends with on Facebook. We are no longer playmates but over the years they've become good friends and they don't want their lifestyle broadcasted any more than I do. We would have a platonic friendship now.
Could it be someone you rejected here getting your facebook stuff?
We all hear/read of the abuse females get if they turn some guys down,,,"
I don't think so... The people I have on FB I was friends a long time with before adding them. But you never know I suppose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I seriously doubt that the person is a swinger, it's a friend. And yes I have one or two people I know from this lifestyle who I'm friends with on Facebook. We are no longer playmates but over the years they've become good friends and they don't want their lifestyle broadcasted any more than I do. We would have a platonic friendship now.
Could it be someone you rejected here getting your facebook stuff?
We all hear/read of the abuse females get if they turn some guys down,,,
I don't think so... The people I have on FB I was friends a long time with before adding them. But you never know I suppose "
Also anyone from here would know that you know your husband can meet women |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I seriously doubt that the person is a swinger, it's a friend. And yes I have one or two people I know from this lifestyle who I'm friends with on Facebook. We are no longer playmates but over the years they've become good friends and they don't want their lifestyle broadcasted any more than I do. We would have a platonic friendship now.
Could it be someone you rejected here getting your facebook stuff?
We all hear/read of the abuse females get if they turn some guys down,,,
I don't think so... The people I have on FB I was friends a long time with before adding them. But you never know I suppose
Also anyone from here would know that you know your husband can meet women"
That's very true. It would be pointless from their point of view |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don't have to explain your private life to anyone Snow. Especially someone you wouldn't have told anyway. It's nobody's business what you do in your relationship.
Just ignore and move on. Be careful of having swingers as friends on Facebook. If you value your privacy, you'll reconsider.
Not that your swinging FB friends would do anything, but they are a connection to you and anyone can link you to them and vice versa online if they are friends with other swingers.
It's a big web and stalking via Facebook is rampant as it is without adding the element of swinging.
If it were us we would just bin the letter and think no more about it. Dont even bother trying to find who it was. It will just wreck your head.
Take care |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You don't have to explain your private life to anyone Snow. Especially someone you wouldn't have told anyway. It's nobody's business what you do in your relationship.
Just ignore and move on. Be careful of having swingers as friends on Facebook. If you value your privacy, you'll reconsider.
Not that your swinging FB friends would do anything, but they are a connection to you and anyone can link you to them and vice versa online if they are friends with other swingers.
It's a big web and stalking via Facebook is rampant as it is without adding the element of swinging.
If it were us we would just bin the letter and think no more about it. Dont even bother trying to find who it was. It will just wreck your head.
Take care "
I will thanks X I'm not binning it as I want it to confront the person (if I ever find out) they'd want to be very sad to stalk me in fairness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You get to choose how to react to that letter.
You and your hubby get to decide how you live your lives.
It's clearly not from a friend.
What you both have is wonderful, choose not to let a stranger spoil it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It could be anyone, the more you dwell on it, the more paranoid and mistrustful of your friends and acquaintances you will get. If your relationship is honest, then it doesn't matter in the least what others may think. Responding on facebook will only fuel whatever is going on with this person, regardless of their identity or motivation. Pretend it never happened.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there a postmark?
It came through portlaoise mails centre which means they are nearby or travelled to post it. I'm a dub and the majority of my friends live in Dublin.
Ahh right, mine go though there too!
Personally I reckon it is a troublemaker who took what they could from your facebook page and just posted it in case it got through!!
Probably.. I'm going post a pic of the envelope and say how clever my postman is finding me with only part of my address.. "
This might out the cowardly little so and so... Watch for who likes it and try compare it to people who like your other posts and photos. If csi and law and order has thought me anything it's criminals return to the scene of the crime!!
Chances are you'll never find out who did it. But you can forget about it. That person has to live with being a 2 faced cnut. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think now I've a pretty good idea who sent it. Doubt I'll ever get an explanation for it as I've no plans to confront her. Funny thing is she's a friend that heard me chatting to someone about our rejection ship before and asked me was it true. I said yea but gave no details. And she's usually the one to be upfront as she hates being left out of gossip |
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