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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Different type a thread but does your life completely change once u have children? I often say if and when I get into a serious relationship I'd like it to be with a girl without kids and I get lambasted! It's just a personal choice but I also get eaten when I see women with kids can't do what they want at any given time and things totally change for them so question is am I right? I don't have kids so can't answer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No mate, you have this wee person in your life that takes up all of your time and you spend the vast majority of your income on but no...doesn't change your life at all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it does, quite simply others have to be considered in every decision you make, your time, your energy and a lot of your money for the next couple of decades goes on someone who is utterly dependent on you.
I would advise anyone who is childfree to think very carefully before entering a serious relationship with someone who already has children. Not only is it a huge ask if you are going to take on some kind of "step" role, but you may encounter serious resentment from kids, or they may get too attached when you want to keep it casual, or there maybe issues with their other bio parent. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes it does, quite simply others have to be considered in every decision you make, your time, your energy and a lot of your money for the next couple of decades goes on someone who is utterly dependent on you.
I would advise anyone who is childfree to think very carefully before entering a serious relationship with someone who already has children. Not only is it a huge ask if you are going to take on some kind of "step" role, but you may encounter serious resentment from kids, or they may get too attached when you want to keep it casual, or there maybe issues with their other bio parent."
totally makes sense thanks for reply  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Btw, you have every right to not consider anyone as a relationship prospect for whatever reason you wish - it's YOUR life. Just be honest and don't lead people tp have expectations you don't intend to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Different type a thread but does your life completely change once u have children? I often say if and when I get into a serious relationship I'd like it to be with a girl without kids and I get lambasted! It's just a personal choice but I also get eaten when I see women with kids can't do what they want at any given time and things totally change for them so question is am I right? I don't have kids so can't answer "
I was a single father to a little girl when I met kitty. She also has kids from a previous partner I may add. Yes kids change everything. Your world revolves around them 99% of the time. Stepping into a as an above poster phased it a step role isn't easy but when it comes to kids I don't think that the word easy can be used. Sorry tangent there. If you don't want to be with a person with children that's completely up to you OP. No doubt people will disagree with this but everyone has opinions. Its hard work but if you love a person you accept everything that comes with them. I know I do.
Tomcat |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Different type a thread but does your life completely change once u have children? I often say if and when I get into a serious relationship I'd like it to be with a girl without kids and I get lambasted! It's just a personal choice but I also get eaten when I see women with kids can't do what they want at any given time and things totally change for them so question is am I right? I don't have kids so can't answer
I was a single father to a little girl when I met kitty. She also has kids from a previous partner I may add. Yes kids change everything. Your world revolves around them 99% of the time. Stepping into a as an above poster phased it a step role isn't easy but when it comes to kids I don't think that the word easy can be used. Sorry tangent there. If you don't want to be with a person with children that's completely up to you OP. No doubt people will disagree with this but everyone has opinions. Its hard work but if you love a person you accept everything that comes with them. I know I do.
Tomcat"
good post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it definitely does my kids come before anything, you will leave yourself go without so your kids can have it. I'm lucky that my kids dad is still great to them has never once left them down. We will even spend Xmas day together for the sake of kids. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Different type a thread but does your life completely change once u have children? I often say if and when I get into a serious relationship I'd like it to be with a girl without kids and I get lambasted! It's just a personal choice but I also get eaten when I see women with kids can't do what they want at any given time and things totally change for them so question is am I right? I don't have kids so can't answer "
That life now seems like it belonged to another....
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I have 4 children from my ex husbans.
When I met Niall the last thing on my mind was a relationship, he also has 4 kids with his ex wife.
We took things slow, didn't introduce each other to our respective children till we knew we wanted to make a go of things full time. Thankfully our kids accepted us together and got along with each other from the get go.
We're all one pretty big happy family now 
Ur entitled to live ur life and choose the relationship u want OP, ur life choices are not for others to judge. Live and love to please urself 
Tina  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And don't 'kid' yourself that once the kids get older things will change. All of a sudden they have kids ... and then you really fall in love! and you'll still have no time to yourslef |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And don't 'kid' yourself that once the kids get older things will change. All of a sudden they have kids ... and then you really fall in love! and you'll still have no time to yourslef"
I'm love my do as I want carefree life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A kid is a mini U, so treat him/her as u would have liked to be treated at that age, Anyone who puts their own desires in front of their childs is a dog in my book |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And don't 'kid' yourself that once the kids get older things will change. All of a sudden they have kids ... and then you really fall in love! and you'll still have no time to yourslefI'm love my do as I want carefree life "
I'd have had one of those - if I hadn't of had kids! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have partied hard and lived life to the full. I thought that was the way I always wanted it. I could never see my self looking after a child until 4 years ago I got a sudden suprise. Absolutely changed my life and for the better. I would jump in front of a train for my child end off. There your no. 1 priority. I don't know is it natural instinct or just love but life changing for sure but in a way you can't imagine your life with out them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's called growing up and thinking of someone or ones other than yourself! so even though you love your lifestyle you should decide to change it?"
No. Definitely not |
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By *al2001Man
over a year ago
kildare |
My kids are my world. They always were but when I split with their mother I became kind of obsessed with them,nothing else mattered only them,way too much so,I blame it on my shit childhood and a father that was never there and not wanting to do the same to them
I started seeing a girl with a child and they moved in with me but I completely failed the child as a step father,I just couldn't let him in to my affections as it felt a betrayal to my boys. So fucked up and it haunts me everyday
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
It's not about giving up your own life completely when you have children, yes it's a major change and you have to make compromises and sacrifices, but you also get highly rewarded.
Op you have a few years left to make your decision so don't put yourself under pressure and enjoy the now and who knows one day you might find that your mind has changed and you'll happily embrace it...life is full of surprises! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's called growing up and thinking of someone or ones other than yourself! "
There is no shortage of selfish, irresponsible parents, and it's somewhat insulting to childless people to suggest they are all immature or selfish. Taking a conscious decision not to become a parent if you feel it is not right for you is both responsible and mature. Childless people often contribute time and energy to other family members or wider society. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single mum to 3.yes your life does change tremendously .. i live for them. I will always put them first and Om perfectly happy with my life the way it is now. All the cuddles,kisses and smiles are worth the stress
I do find it hard to get out and meet people but who doesnt regardless of having children .. i know single people that have full time jobs that take over their lives and free time ...
The thing that I find hard to do is get out and try to date .The few times I have met someone I like and get along with do have an issue with my children eventually .. Im not looking for a dad replacement for my kids,they have me to be the parent ..Im looking for someone to be there for me emotionally and physically .. if they get along with my kids even better but so far the men ive encounterd so far have called my kids baggage, and that their in the way of having a life as i wont drop my kids to go out partying ...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Personally for me right now, I love going out socialising, weekends away etc! If I had kids I'd imagine all that changes!I think if I had to stay in most weekends I'd crack up! As it is I have to stay in some weekends and I don't know what to do with myself, I just love socialising |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally for me right now, I love going out socialising, weekends away etc! If I had kids I'd imagine all that changes!I think if I had to stay in most weekends I'd crack up! As it is I have to stay in some weekends and I don't know what to do with myself, I just love socialising"
Eh, that's normal in your twenties, it can get old |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id be the exact opposite OP, I may not be able to have children so if a potential partner already has kids it suits me fine. Means they have been able to experience something I may never have and always wanted, so eases my guilt of not being able to have kids as he already has them. If I was with someone who didn't have kids and he really wanted kids, and I couldn't give them to him? That would kill me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Id be the exact opposite OP, I may not be able to have children so if a potential partner already has kids it suits me fine. Means they have been able to experience something I may never have and always wanted, so eases my guilt of not being able to have kids as he already has them. If I was with someone who didn't have kids and he really wanted kids, and I couldn't give them to him? That would kill me "
i get ya and obviously I coukd end up getting a girl pregnant some day and then have to step up to the plate! Would I be right in saying a females life changes more then a males when kids come into it?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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love http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B007X3VCE0/ref=pd_aw_sbs_121_1?ie=UTF8&dpID=51EdnCRD1hL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL115_SR93%2C115_&refRID=14W4TFAQEVKCS8YM271H# |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id be the exact opposite OP, I may not be able to have children so if a potential partner already has kids it suits me fine. Means they have been able to experience something I may never have and always wanted, so eases my guilt of not being able to have kids as he already has them. If I was with someone who didn't have kids and he really wanted kids, and I couldn't give them to him? That would kill me i get ya and obviously I coukd end up getting a girl pregnant some day and then have to step up to the plate! Would I be right in saying a females life changes more then a males when kids come into it?"
You'd be completely right in the majority of cases with that statement |
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