FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Discretion is very important !!!!! :)
Discretion is very important !!!!! :)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just had a mail asking Why I have on my profile ... Discretion is very important !!!!! 
my answer was :
1. I careful who knows that I into swinging because there's no reason to ask for trouble. I'm sure there are those whom would try to make our lives difficult if they knew, and more so if they knew I didn't care what they thought
2. Job / Work .. Even if one is in a job that the opinion of others doesn't matter, life and jobs can change.... So why publicise it ?
How would you answer this question or whats your opinion?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I say pity the irish mentality is a bit hung up on shame and sexuality. The English worry less about who knows them. Catholicism has a lot to answer for imo. I have a few friends and family who know im on here. Discretion is fine but do you expect people to meet you based on a silhouette? And maybe its just me but when I see the word 'discreet' mentioned, especially more than one, I think they are married or attached. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"An emphasis on discretion, combined with no pics and "cannot accommodate" suggests a cheater.
"suggests" but maybe NOT  "
When there is so much choice there is no reason to risk it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well tone honest myself I'm attached,
So would be important to myself that whom ever I meet I would like are identitys kept quiet , also who needs to know your whole life story where all here for are own fun , right...  |
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"Just had a mail asking Why I have on my profile ... Discretion is very important !!!!!
my answer was :
1. I careful who knows that I into swinging because there's no reason to ask for trouble. I'm sure there are those whom would try to make our lives difficult if they knew, and more so if they knew I didn't care what they thought
2. Job / Work .. Even if one is in a job that the opinion of others doesn't matter, life and jobs can change.... So why publicise it ?
How would you answer this question or whats your opinion?
"
My opinion is that this is a shameless self promotional thread hoping to hook some laydees with the old "I'm discreet / sensitive bait"- well played OP !! Hope it works for ya!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
My opinion is that this is a shameless self promotional thread hoping to hook some laydees with the old "I'm discreet / sensitive bait"- well played OP !! Hope it works for ya!! "
A very cynical attitude - Its a question that has been posed and various different answers are expressed for one reason or another.... The Do's and Dont's of swinging Etiquette . If you have an opinion , express it, but don't slate me off for asking a question ! |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Maybe not, but someone who prefers to give cheaters a wide berth may prefer not to take the chance..."
And why are we making assumptions when the question is on how u treat discretion  |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
Everyone has his or her own reason for discretion or for not wanting/being able to accommodate. I don't understand why certain people don't leave out any occasion to rant about potential 'cheaters' and judge people. Additionally we all have our own reasons to be on here. This country is sometimes a very small island with a very Catholic population where the gossip can spiral. As for myself I've learnt I'm having an affair because I'm going for a coffee natter once a month with a man!!! Of course the two of us learned last about it and the affair has yet to happen...
I'm publicly very exposed trough my work and I work with children hence I've no interest that any stupid rumours are going around and I'm only mentioning it to demonstrate that there are various reasons for discretion and it should be respected without being judgemental! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe not, but someone who prefers to give cheaters a wide berth may prefer not to take the chance...
And why are we making assumptions when the question is on how u treat discretion "
Perhaps because of all the married "discreet" men who have already contacted us looking for "harmless fun"... |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Maybe not, but someone who prefers to give cheaters a wide berth may prefer not to take the chance...
And why are we making assumptions when the question is on how u treat discretion
Perhaps because of all the married "discreet" men who have already contacted us looking for "harmless fun"...
U mean the single guys aren't discreet oh I think ull find to the contrary and again the question was how would u answer someone why is discreetion is important "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe not, but someone who prefers to give cheaters a wide berth may prefer not to take the chance...
And why are we making assumptions when the question is on how u treat discretion
Perhaps because of all the married "discreet" men who have already contacted us looking for "harmless fun"...
U mean the single guys aren't discreet oh I think ull find to the contrary and again the question was how would u answer someone why be discreet "
I would take the liberty of assuming that anyone with half a brain gets the idea of discretion om a swing site and is an adult who can conduct themselves in public - making the emphasis on discretion an indication that they have something to hide beyond swinging - since "swinging" is an activity which includes the consent of all parties involved - hence no need to witter on about discretion. |
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"
My opinion is that this is a shameless self promotional thread hoping to hook some laydees with the old "I'm discreet / sensitive bait"- well played OP !! Hope it works for ya!!
A very cynical attitude - Its a question that has been posed and various different answers are expressed for one reason or another.... The Do's and Dont's of swinging Etiquette . If you have an opinion , express it, but don't slate me off for asking a question ! "
Who slated you?
I applauded you.
Kudos .... |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Maybe not, but someone who prefers to give cheaters a wide berth may prefer not to take the chance...
And why are we making assumptions when the question is on how u treat discretion
Perhaps because of all the married "discreet" men who have already contacted us looking for "harmless fun"...
U mean the single guys aren't discreet oh I think ull find to the contrary and again the question was how would u answer someone why be discreet
I would take the liberty of assuming that anyone with half a brain gets the idea of discretion om a swing site and is an adult who can conduct themselves in public - making the emphasis on discretion an indication that they have something to hide beyond swinging - since "swinging" is an activity which includes the consent of all parties involved - hence no need to witter on about discretion."
Taking liberties and making assumptions causes confusion it may well be that they don't wish it to be public knowlage, as they may live in a rural area with narrow minded people which could cause embarrassment to their wider family or even their kids nothing to do with marital status.but once again u took the liberty to make the assumption that only cheaters require discression as u said in another thread u don't care about what people think of ur preferences why do u care so much about others live ur life and leave others to live theirs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe not, but someone who prefers to give cheaters a wide berth may prefer not to take the chance...
And why are we making assumptions when the question is on how u treat discretion
Perhaps because of all the married "discreet" men who have already contacted us looking for "harmless fun"...
U mean the single guys aren't discreet oh I think ull find to the contrary and again the question was how would u answer someone why be discreet
I would take the liberty of assuming that anyone with half a brain gets the idea of discretion om a swing site and is an adult who can conduct themselves in public - making the emphasis on discretion an indication that they have something to hide beyond swinging - since "swinging" is an activity which includes the consent of all parties involved - hence no need to witter on about discretion.
Taking liberties and making assumptions causes confusion it may well be that they don't wish it to be public knowlage, as they may live in a rural area with narrow minded people which could cause embarrassment to their wider family or even their kids nothing to do with marital status.but once again u took the liberty to make the assumption that only cheaters require discression as u said in another thread u don't care about what people think of ur preferences why do u care so much about others live ur life and leave others to live theirs "
Because sadly cj, others dont respect mine. I dont give a damn who is cheating on their partner so long as they are upfront here so they can be avoided (many arent) and they read and respect my wishes as clearly stated on my profile (many dont). Unfortunately the bad behaviour of these also reflects on those whose profiles may look similar for a different reason. As Belle and Hunter stated above, with so many to choose from - genuine unattached people and couples who play separately with permission - why take the risk of getting caught up in someone else's shit?
Divorce was legalised here over 20 years ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone has his or her own reason for discretion or for not wanting/being able to accommodate. I don't understand why certain people don't leave out any occasion to rant about potential 'cheaters' and judge people. Additionally we all have our own reasons to be on here. This country is sometimes a very small island with a very Catholic population where the gossip can spiral. As for myself I've learnt I'm having an affair because I'm going for a coffee natter once a month with a man!!! Of course the two of us learned last about it and the affair has yet to happen...
I'm publicly very exposed trough my work and I work with children hence I've no interest that any stupid rumours are going around and I'm only mentioning it to demonstrate that there are various reasons for discretion and it should be respected without being judgemental! "
This exactly,there are various reasons for discretion and decorum (I've been wanting to use that word for ages,lol).My face is known in many circles,mostly through work and socialising so if someone goes blabbing about a night of fun in a particular fashion to one and all,people less open minded than than some of us here can assume wrongly and gossip stupidly "that fella is into all sorts of pervy stuff like shagging cats and exhaust pipes of cars"
A bit of privacy in my personal life is something to cherish,also if I meet someone from here or elsewhere ,I may play differently with that person than I do with someone else,every person has their own desires and needs and that comes across without words,usually by the way they are dressed on a hotel meet is a bit of a giveaway,though not always.I'm switch so I could be sub with one girl and Dom with another or be switchy with another.So even among girls here I would say very little about any meet only to say it went well or I had a great time etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I live in a rural area with narrow minded people and I have children yet have no need to bleat about discretion on my profile. I reserve the right to take the view - based on experience here - that those who do have something extra to hide. |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Maybe not, but someone who prefers to give cheaters a wide berth may prefer not to take the chance...
And why are we making assumptions when the question is on how u treat discretion
Perhaps because of all the married "discreet" men who have already contacted us looking for "harmless fun"...
U mean the single guys aren't discreet oh I think ull find to the contrary and again the question was how would u answer someone why be discreet
I would take the liberty of assuming that anyone with half a brain gets the idea of discretion om a swing site and is an adult who can conduct themselves in public - making the emphasis on discretion an indication that they have something to hide beyond swinging - since "swinging" is an activity which includes the consent of all parties involved - hence no need to witter on about discretion.
Taking liberties and making assumptions causes confusion it may well be that they don't wish it to be public knowlage, as they may live in a rural area with narrow minded people which could cause embarrassment to their wider family or even their kids nothing to do with marital status.but once again u took the liberty to make the assumption that only cheaters require discression as u said in another thread u don't care about what people think of ur preferences why do u care so much about others live ur life and leave others to live theirs
Because sadly cj, others dont respect mine. I dont give a damn who is cheating on their partner so long as they are upfront here so they can be avoided (many arent) and they read and respect my wishes as clearly stated on my profile (many dont). Unfortunately the bad behaviour of these also reflects on those whose profiles may look similar for a different reason. As Belle and Hunter stated above, with so many to choose from - genuine unattached people and couples who play separately with permission - why take the risk of getting caught up in someone else's shit?
Divorce was legalised here over 20 years ago."
Sit down for this one Casey
I agree with u
but like so many other things that are hidden on here it's not going to happen the same as going to a pub or club and pulling a hot guy/fem or cpls u don't know their story they could be bi a stalker a psychopath u have to make a judgment ur self and either walk on by or go for it but u don't stand on a soap box and take the liberty to make an assumption and blow ur trumpet. As for others not respecting ur preferences block em as we all do I am straight but it doesn't stop guys offering discrete bjs I simply decline thank them for their interest and move on |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"I live in a rural area with narrow minded people and I have children yet have no need to bleat about discretion on my profile. I reserve the right to take the view - based on experience here - that those who do have something extra to hide."
So we are all to assume anyone looking discression is a cheater rubish and u know it
Let's have a coffee and breath let the thread get back to the ops question |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I live in a rural area with narrow minded people and I have children yet have no need to bleat about discretion on my profile. I reserve the right to take the view - based on experience here - that those who do have something extra to hide.
So we are all to assume anyone looking discression is a cheater rubish and u know it
Let's have a coffee and breath let the thread get back to the ops question "
I'll make all the judgements I want - that's why I end up with good meets. |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"I live in a rural area with narrow minded people and I have children yet have no need to bleat about discretion on my profile. I reserve the right to take the view - based on experience here - that those who do have something extra to hide.
So we are all to assume anyone looking discression is a cheater rubish and u know it
Let's have a coffee and breath let the thread get back to the ops question
I'll make all the judgements I want - that's why I end up with good meets."
Great to hear that as do 99% of the site without feeling the need to slate others pubicly because their profile smells a bit off without any evidence u may be remotely right but more possibly wrong
Sugar and milk in ur coffee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I live in a rural area with narrow minded people and I have children yet have no need to bleat about discretion on my profile. I reserve the right to take the view - based on experience here - that those who do have something extra to hide.
So we are all to assume anyone looking discression is a cheater rubish and u know it
Let's have a coffee and breath let the thread get back to the ops question
I'll make all the judgements I want - that's why I end up with good meets.
Great to hear that as do 99% of the site without feeling the need to slate others pubicly because their profile smells a bit off without any evidence u may be remotely right but more possibly wrong
Sugar and milk in ur coffee "
I'm not slating anyone publicly, merely stating what experience has taught me. If it has hit a nerve with anyone who happens to be cheating, that's their problem, conversely, anyone who is honest with all their partners has no need to take offence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No nessessarliy. I once shared a house and was very awarkward to bring anyone back. it's just the mentality of the Irish people to be nosey "
I've shared houses with people and nobody batted an eyelid at overnight guests - you make polite conversation and move on. |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"I live in a rural area with narrow minded people and I have children yet have no need to bleat about discretion on my profile. I reserve the right to take the view - based on experience here - that those who do have something extra to hide.
So we are all to assume anyone looking discression is a cheater rubish and u know it
Let's have a coffee and breath let the thread get back to the ops question
I'll make all the judgements I want - that's why I end up with good meets.
Great to hear that as do 99% of the site without feeling the need to slate others pubicly because their profile smells a bit off without any evidence u may be remotely right but more possibly wrong
Sugar and milk in ur coffee
I'm not slating anyone publicly, merely stating what experience has taught me. If it has hit a nerve with anyone who happens to be cheating, that's their problem, conversely, anyone who is honest with all their partners has no need to take offence."
Am sorry
An emphasis on discretion, combined with no pics and "cannot accommodate" suggests a cheater.
Ur words not mine
Now the missus is roaring she wants the lawns cut I must go out and pullstart the lawn mower for her maybe I should get her a push button start mower for her birthday |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For example your profile is private.... Why "
Because I am not meeting right now and despite clearly stating this (more than once) I was still getting "hi hun, fancy a coffee" messages.....
Enough said.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So why be on a swing site?"
In common with many here, I have children who are currently on their school holidays, which makes scheduling very difficult, so I am not meeting over the summer. So long as I clearly state that I am not meeting on my profile, what's the issue?
There are several users here who clearly state that they are not meeting at all, only here to chat. |
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I'm slightly confused. Catholicism is to blame? Does that mean that the Church of Ireland are into swinging? I don't think so, and I'm fairly sure the Presbyterians aren't into it either. Muslims and swinging? I can't see it either. Who does that leave? Baptists? Methodists? Are they really into it? Wow! Cool! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm slightly confused. Catholicism is to blame? Does that mean that the Church of Ireland are into swinging? I don't think so, and I'm fairly sure the Presbyterians aren't into it either. Muslims and swinging? I can't see it either. Who does that leave? Baptists? Methodists? Are they really into it? Wow! Cool! "
Given the recent same sex marriage vote, it's time we all grew up and stopped blaming the Catholic Church - people with small minds like to gossip. |
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"I'm slightly confused. Catholicism is to blame? Does that mean that the Church of Ireland are into swinging? I don't think so, and I'm fairly sure the Presbyterians aren't into it either. Muslims and swinging? I can't see it either. Who does that leave? Baptists? Methodists? Are they really into it? Wow! Cool!
Given the recent same sex marriage vote, it's time we all grew up and stopped blaming the Catholic Church - people with small minds like to gossip."
I think organised religion in general has an issue with such carry on as swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm slightly confused. Catholicism is to blame? Does that mean that the Church of Ireland are into swinging? I don't think so, and I'm fairly sure the Presbyterians aren't into it either. Muslims and swinging? I can't see it either. Who does that leave? Baptists? Methodists? Are they really into it? Wow! Cool!
Given the recent same sex marriage vote, it's time we all grew up and stopped blaming the Catholic Church - people with small minds like to gossip.
I think organised religion in general has an issue with such carry on as swinging. "
Organised religion has an issue with everything - it's purpose is to control |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In common with many here, I have children who are currently on their school holidays, which makes scheduling very difficult, so I am not meeting over the summer. So long as I clearly state that I am not meeting on my profile, what's the issue?
There are several users here who clearly state that they are not meeting at all, only here to chat.
But if not stated how do we know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In common with many here, I have children who are currently on their school holidays, which makes scheduling very difficult, so I am not meeting over the summer. So long as I clearly state that I am not meeting on my profile, what's the issue?
There are several users here who clearly state that they are not meeting at all, only here to chat.
But if not stated how do we know "
I can't answer for other users on that, you'll have to ask them. Perhaps they got tired of putting stuff on their profiles that nobody ever bothered to read.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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any profile who mails me ... I look at the profile before i open the mail , if i see it says ... NSA discreet , remember this is a sex site and again DISCREET coupled with that nonsense sydney uni disclaimer and no pics ...I assume they are a cheating bollox whos wife would cut their balls off if she caught them , and im usually 99% correct . 
cheating scumbags pretending to be swingers , fire away , but dont expect the time of day or even the ink to type a reply from me . |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"any profile who mails me ... I look at the profile before i open the mail , if i see it says ... NSA discreet , remember this is a sex site and again DISCREET coupled with that nonsense sydney uni disclaimer and no pics ...I assume they are a cheating bollox whos wife would cut their balls off if she caught them , and im usually 99% correct .
cheating scumbags pretending to be swingers , fire away , but dont expect the time of day or even the ink to type a reply from me . "
So really its a distrust and haterad of the male species |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"any profile who mails me ... I look at the profile before i open the mail , if i see it says ... NSA discreet , remember this is a sex site and again DISCREET coupled with that nonsense sydney uni disclaimer and no pics ...I assume they are a cheating bollox whos wife would cut their balls off if she caught them , and im usually 99% correct .
cheating scumbags pretending to be swingers , fire away , but dont expect the time of day or even the ink to type a reply from me .
So really its a distrust and haterad of the male species "
not at all , I adore men , but I have no desire to enable men to use me because they assume women who swing have no moral compass themselves . |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"any profile who mails me ... I look at the profile before i open the mail , if i see it says ... NSA discreet , remember this is a sex site and again DISCREET coupled with that nonsense sydney uni disclaimer and no pics ...I assume they are a cheating bollox whos wife would cut their balls off if she caught them , and im usually 99% correct .
cheating scumbags pretending to be swingers , fire away , but dont expect the time of day or even the ink to type a reply from me .
So really its a distrust and haterad of the male species
not at all , I adore men , but I have no desire to enable men to use me because they assume women who swing have no moral compass themselves . "
Again assumptions how easy they confuse I think u remember when we first started talking my stall was well laid out as to my status I can't account for others but its not just men on here and we all have our own reasons why we are here however I'd never cast an assumption on anybody for their choices in life till I have walked in their shoes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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youll also recall when we first spoke , I made my stance and viewpoint clear on my opinion of cheaters , so really , nothing has changed in the interim . I still have the same views I always have had and I make no apology for them . |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"youll also recall when we first spoke , I made my stance and viewpoint clear on my opinion of cheaters , so really , nothing has changed in the interim . I still have the same views I always have had and I make no apology for them . "
Yes and I respect that view Which is probably one of the reasons we have over the years got on beside each other me not as they say trying it on with u and u not continually taking swipes at profiles or people that don't conform to your view |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Meh....
Everyone had different opinions and some will meet attached some won't....
Some will meet couples some won't. ..
Same goes for FB and singles...
Discretion tho your only "very discreet" if your in a relationship and don't want to get caught...
Because nobody gives a fck anymore about swingers!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"An emphasis on discretion, combined with no pics and "cannot accommodate" suggests a cheater.
"
Blowing your suggestion out of the water, though I would suggest it is more of an assumption.
I have an emphasis on discretion, because I got tired of the loud mouths blabbing to others after they met me.
No pics, because I choose not to post images online .
Can not accomodate , live with two adult children.
Not a cheater! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"An emphasis on discretion, combined with no pics and "cannot accommodate" suggests a cheater.
Blowing your suggestion out of the water, though I would suggest it is more of an assumption.
I have an emphasis on discretion, because I got tired of the loud mouths blabbing to others after they met me.
No pics, because I choose not to post images online .
Can not accomodate , live with two adult children.
Not a cheater!"
Same here. That's a load of bollox. I would not invite anyone I don't know to a first meet in my home. Nor would I expect it in theirs. That's what hotels are for. Some people read what they want to read and that from it what the want. Leave them off I say......
Discression is important to me because of my job. I have only shared my photo with 3,people on here and one of those was a mistake in my part. Thank God for the call back option..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So I can't accom.
This is a sex site and I or anyone else on here has to justify to anyone anything.
I joined here for a good time and not a rendition of this is your life.
I've met some lovely people on here.
We're they married? I couldn't care less and I don't ask. I'm not interested. Oh and does that also apply to men in relationships and living together? This is none of my business either. I'm SINGLE. Where's the moral police on here?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I can't accom.
This is a sex site and I or anyone else on here has to justify to anyone anything.
I joined here for a good time and not a rendition of this is your life.
I've met some lovely people on here.
We're they married? I couldn't care less and I don't ask. I'm not interested. Oh and does that also apply to men in relationships and living together? This is none of my business either. I'm SINGLE. Where's the moral police on here? "
Excellently put.. I couldn't have said it better myself
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I can't accom.
This is a sex site and I or anyone else on here has to justify to anyone anything.
I joined here for a good time and not a rendition of this is your life.
I've met some lovely people on here.
We're they married? I couldn't care less and I don't ask. I'm not interested. Oh and does that also apply to men in relationships and living together? This is none of my business either. I'm SINGLE. Where's the moral police on here? "
Love this!! Well said |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
Ahhhh we got trough another crusade led by the Joan of fab against the cheaters!
May the fab gods have mercy and no other opportunity will be spotted soon, so that the swords can rest and the normal peeps can stick to and discuss the thread's topic!
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