 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Anybody got funny sex stories? Hurt themselves or done something pretty stupid?
Ill start, was with a girl a few years back and she used to wear big hoop ear rings, as im kissing her neck i go to pull away and Ive caught my nose on the gap part and rip the inside of my nose open, blood everywhere.
Spent the next 20 mins stopping the bleeding, talk about mood killer lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Myself and a GF years ago were eating marshmallows and swapping them while kissing. Anyway I bit into one mid swap and bit her lip instead. Blood everywhere.
I got to finish the rest of the pack myself. No sex though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Myself and a GF years ago were eating marshmallows and swapping them while kissing. Anyway I bit into one mid swap and bit her lip instead. Blood everywhere.
I got to finish the rest of the pack myself. No sex though. "
Unlucky mate, funny as fook though 
At least you got the mashmellows to yourself lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yea was meeting this girl once i jumped on the bed bounced off and landed in a heap she roared laughing but i fooked me knee up.
Another time i actually locked myself in a toliet i took a girl out for dinner she thought i went home so she left,took me an hour to get out and all the staff had to help with door i never heard the end of it. 
I'm a disaster lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yea was meeting this girl once i jumped on the bed bounced off and landed in a heap she roared laughing but i fooked me knee up.
Another time i actually locked myself in a toliet i took a girl out for dinner she thought i went home so she left,took me an hour to get out and all the staff had to help with door i never heard the end of it.
I'm a disaster lol."
The locking in the toilet sounds like something I would do.
I got back with an ex one night and as we are going back to mine i tripped over a solid plastic crate and landed on the corner of it
I luckily broke my fall with my collor bone, couldnt laugh cough or cry for about 7 weeks from the pain lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Yea was meeting this girl once i jumped on the bed bounced off and landed in a heap she roared laughing but i fooked me knee up.
Another time i actually locked myself in a toliet i took a girl out for dinner she thought i went home so she left,took me an hour to get out and all the staff had to help with door i never heard the end of it.
I'm a disaster lol."
But did u hear from the girl again  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yea was meeting this girl once i jumped on the bed bounced off and landed in a heap she roared laughing but i fooked me knee up.
Another time i actually locked myself in a toliet i took a girl out for dinner she thought i went home so she left,took me an hour to get out and all the staff had to help with door i never heard the end of it.
I'm a disaster lol.
But did u hear from the girl again "
no i didnt lol and thing was she was a stunner was after her for ages. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just about to get down to the fun one night when hubby bent over to take clothes off so I went to give him a big cheeky slap on the ass .... But my hand went under and I wacked his balls full force !!
Needless to say that was the end of the fun as he rolled around on the floor for half an hour !! Ooopppss !! "
ouchhhhh. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just about to get down to the fun one night when hubby bent over to take clothes off so I went to give him a big cheeky slap on the ass .... But my hand went under and I wacked his balls full force !!
Needless to say that was the end of the fun as he rolled around on the floor for half an hour !! Ooopppss !! "
OUCH!!! I hope you made it up to him when he was recovered |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just about to get down to the fun one night when hubby bent over to take clothes off so I went to give him a big cheeky slap on the ass .... But my hand went under and I wacked his balls full force !!
Needless to say that was the end of the fun as he rolled around on the floor for half an hour !! Ooopppss !!
OUCH!!! I hope you made it up to him when he was recovered"
Oh yes I kissed him all better  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just about to get down to the fun one night when hubby bent over to take clothes off so I went to give him a big cheeky slap on the ass .... But my hand went under and I wacked his balls full force !!
Needless to say that was the end of the fun as he rolled around on the floor for half an hour !! Ooopppss !!
OUCH!!! I hope you made it up to him when he was recovered
Oh yes I kissed him all better "
Its almost worth the pain for the making up lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just about to get down to the fun one night when hubby bent over to take clothes off so I went to give him a big cheeky slap on the ass .... But my hand went under and I wacked his balls full force !!
Needless to say that was the end of the fun as he rolled around on the floor for half an hour !! Ooopppss !!
OUCH!!! I hope you made it up to him when he was recovered
Oh yes I kissed him all better
Its almost worth the pain for the making up lol"
It would want to be some make up kissing to compensate a slap in the nads. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have a few but keep them for nights out lol!
Up4fun82 I neatly fell off the bed laughing at your story!  "
Yeah i have one thats NSFW, this thread hasnt gone that far yet lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ark the manMan
over a year ago
dublin. meath louth areas |
Jimmy is ustairs with the mag out choking the chicken. Mother calls up jimmy would you like a cup of tea. Yeah Ma be down now says jimmy. Mother calls him 2 more times. Jimmy says yeah ok down now. Jimmy finishes the job in hand turns to head out the door only to see a cupa and 2 biscuits on the table by the door !  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Mate of mine from Liverpool went to meet a girl, had kimagra jelly with him. Don't think he wanted her to know he was taking it for whatever reason. It burst in his pocket. He went to the bathroom to however he done it 'salvage' what was left. Girl wondered what was keeping him, walked in on him with no trousers on licking his pocket. Hahahaha
Ended up banging her, after she heard his side of the story. And had a giggle lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
