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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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First forum post people. Hope to keep with the light hearted theme.
Make up a STI. Do try to keep it light hearted.
CIM.
Carnisvelum Incertusmaximus Morbus.
Carnisvelum: loosely translates from Latin as Meat Vail. In this instance it applies to the soft tissue around a vagina. Some call them lips, others call them handrails (depends on vaginal size and over usage).
Incertusmaximus: the inverting of something to an extreme. Also known as the "where the fuck has that gone" affect.
Morbus: very feckin bad altogether.
"CIM is a sexual related injury caused by the insertion of an oversized penis into a vagina that really can't be dealing with that shit. It's most commonly found among single white females holidaying in African countries" explained Dr. Helena Von Stropcuff of the California University of Neovaginal Treatment.
She went on the explain the diagnosis and treatment "the affected area has a very inverted look about it. If you could imagine a vag eating a lemon? The only treatment is the insertion of a fully unwrapped condom into the distressed chuff until you reach the barcode. Most white men aren't aware of this barcode simply because it appears right at the end of the thing. It's also noted that white men rarely cause this injury so they shouldn't worry. Bless em. Once inserted fully the johnny is inflated gently using a bendy straw from MacDonalds. The neck of the condom is then closed to retain the air and gently but firmly withdrawn until those meaty chops return to their natural position. This treatment is called the "pop goes the weasel" and is bleedin hilarious. There is no known side affects to this treatment but a few ladies have reported a slight whoop whoop noise when performing star jumps".
Avoidance is always better than cure. If your would be sexual partner tends to slap his appendage against the side of a urinal rather than shake it, it's probably best to avoid him.
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"First forum post people. Hope to keep with the light hearted theme.
Make up a STI. Do try to keep it light hearted.
CIM.
Carnisvelum Incertusmaximus Morbus.
Carnisvelum: loosely translates from Latin as Meat Vail. In this instance it applies to the soft tissue around a vagina. Some call them lips, others call them handrails (depends on vaginal size and over usage).
Incertusmaximus: the inverting of something to an extreme. Also known as the "where the fuck has that gone" affect.
Morbus: very feckin bad altogether.
"CIM is a sexual related injury caused by the insertion of an oversized penis into a vagina that really can't be dealing with that shit. It's most commonly found among single white females holidaying in African countries" explained Dr. Helena Von Stropcuff of the California University of Neovaginal Treatment.
She went on the explain the diagnosis and treatment "the affected area has a very inverted look about it. If you could imagine a vag eating a lemon? The only treatment is the insertion of a fully unwrapped condom into the distressed chuff until you reach the barcode. Most white men aren't aware of this barcode simply because it appears right at the end of the thing. It's also noted that white men rarely cause this injury so they shouldn't worry. Bless em. Once inserted fully the johnny is inflated gently using a bendy straw from MacDonalds. The neck of the condom is then closed to retain the air and gently but firmly withdrawn until those meaty chops return to their natural position. This treatment is called the "pop goes the weasel" and is bleedin hilarious. There is no known side affects to this treatment but a few ladies have reported a slight whoop whoop noise when performing star jumps".
Avoidance is always better than cure. If your would be sexual partner tends to slap his appendage against the side of a urinal rather than shake it, it's probably best to avoid him.
"
why not just use a plunger |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"First forum post people. Hope to keep with the light hearted theme.
Make up a STI. Do try to keep it light hearted.
CIM.
Carnisvelum Incertusmaximus Morbus.
Carnisvelum: loosely translates from Latin as Meat Vail. In this instance it applies to the soft tissue around a vagina. Some call them lips, others call them handrails (depends on vaginal size and over usage).
Incertusmaximus: the inverting of something to an extreme. Also known as the "where the fuck has that gone" affect.
Morbus: very feckin bad altogether.
"CIM is a sexual related injury caused by the insertion of an oversized penis into a vagina that really can't be dealing with that shit. It's most commonly found among single white females holidaying in African countries" explained Dr. Helena Von Stropcuff of the California University of Neovaginal Treatment.
She went on the explain the diagnosis and treatment "the affected area has a very inverted look about it. If you could imagine a vag eating a lemon? The only treatment is the insertion of a fully unwrapped condom into the distressed chuff until you reach the barcode. Most white men aren't aware of this barcode simply because it appears right at the end of the thing. It's also noted that white men rarely cause this injury so they shouldn't worry. Bless em. Once inserted fully the johnny is inflated gently using a bendy straw from MacDonalds. The neck of the condom is then closed to retain the air and gently but firmly withdrawn until those meaty chops return to their natural position. This treatment is called the "pop goes the weasel" and is bleedin hilarious. There is no known side affects to this treatment but a few ladies have reported a slight whoop whoop noise when performing star jumps".
Avoidance is always better than cure. If your would be sexual partner tends to slap his appendage against the side of a urinal rather than shake it, it's probably best to avoid him.
why not just use a plunger"
Ever hear the noise a plunger makes? Not very complimenting. |
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