FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Searching a profile on facebook
Searching a profile on facebook
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My best friend rang me this morning upset about finding his wife is searching a guy she works with profile on Facebook a hell of a lot. Her moblie is broke so she logged in to Facebook on his & he has his phone set to remember passwords so when he went to log in logged it to hers. He's not proud that he snooped through her Facebook activity log but he came across all these searches for the same guy & there friends already. They have young children & he doesn't want to slip the family up but he has it in his head now she's cheating on him. He's a lorry driver and is away a lot to make matters worse. Any of you been through this? He wants advice as he's not sure how to handle it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because she's looking doesn't necessarily mean she done anything. Maybe she's lonely 
 "
Or nosey?
I look at people I knows Facebook pages all the time. I'm not right sure what the issue is. |
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From what i have seen with friends and family if they are afraid of they're girlfriends or boyfriends cheating on them its normally them doin the cheatin in the first place. But if she is looking up a guy she works with it could be innocent and he could be worrying over nothing now my experiences in life will change from person to person here so my opinion might not be the one that fixes his problem but i hope your friend finds a quick and simple solutions to his problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure if she was cheating and meeting the person she wouldn't need to be looking at his Facebook page especially on her husbands phone. Women ain't that stupid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best way to deal with issues like this is to be upfront and ask her straight out. Sneaking around spying in her is only going to drive him nuts. If he has concerns about his wife's "friendship" with another man, only his wife can allay those fears - and bringing it up shows her that he is aware of her interactions and concerned about their marriage.
Trust and communication are the backbone of a successful relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He has told me in the past she has accused him on cheating a few times if this makes any difference "
Ah yes, and if he knows he's not, then what has put the idea into her head? People who are untrustworthy themselves often have difficulty trusting others.
Men far too often focus on the physical aspect of cheating, a woman who is emotionally disconnected with her partner can very easily become "intimate" with another man - once she does this, a marriage is in serious trouble. Your friend needs to have a serious talk with his wife |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell him to open up an account on fab.....at least in here you dont get "cheating" as much as you do in the real world. Thats why i like here. There arent too many secrets  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He could just message the person on Facebook and see what response he gets . But this is likely to cause a split wether it's good news or bad news "
Marital problems are about the marriage - not the possible third party |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The best way to deal with issues like this is to be upfront and ask her straight out. Sneaking around spying in her is only going to drive him nuts. If he has concerns about his wife's "friendship" with another man, only his wife can allay those fears - and bringing it up shows her that he is aware of her interactions and concerned about their marriage.
Trust and communication are the backbone of a successful relationship."
100% agree with Casey x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell him to open up an account on fab.....at least in here you dont get "cheating" as much as you do in the real world. Thats why i like here. There arent too many secrets "
For a relationship already in trouble, swinging is the worst possible idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The best way to deal with issues like this is to be upfront and ask her straight out. Sneaking around spying in her is only going to drive him nuts. If he has concerns about his wife's "friendship" with another man, only his wife can allay those fears - and bringing it up shows her that he is aware of her interactions and concerned about their marriage.
Trust and communication are the backbone of a successful relationship."
Well said..i agree totally with you.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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my friend has just admitted that he deleted this guy from her friends and she had sent him a message 2 hours later saying Jesus I've just seen that you've deleted me as a friend hope I've done nothing to annoy you I'm very sorry if I did.
What do I say to that I know the poor guys in bits he's been here for me a lot want to return favour for him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my friend has just admitted that he deleted this guy from her friends and she had sent him a message 2 hours later saying Jesus I've just seen that you've deleted me as a friend hope I've done nothing to annoy you I'm very sorry if I did.
What do I say to that I know the poor guys in bits he's been here for me a lot want to return favour for him"
Be very careful about getting involved in other people's problems. The best advice you can give him is to talk to his wife. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ask some of the women who have experience of cheating, they'll know as they have first hand experience as they like to cheat. Although I believe your mate is jealous of a simple friendship and that is dangerous |
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"my friend has just admitted that he deleted this guy from her friends and she had sent him a message 2 hours later saying Jesus I've just seen that you've deleted me as a friend hope I've done nothing to annoy you I'm very sorry if I did.
What do I say to that I know the poor guys in bits he's been here for me a lot want to return favour for him
Be very careful about getting involved in other people's problems. The best advice you can give him is to talk to his wife."
Why would she use Facebook if she works with him she would have his number from work if anything was happening? ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my friend has just admitted that he deleted this guy from her friends and she had sent him a message 2 hours later saying Jesus I've just seen that you've deleted me as a friend hope I've done nothing to annoy you I'm very sorry if I did.
What do I say to that I know the poor guys in bits he's been here for me a lot want to return favour for him
Be very careful about getting involved in other people's problems. The best advice you can give him is to talk to his wife.
Why would she use Facebook if she works with him she would have his number from work if anything was happening? ? "
People can supposedly be friends with someone they work with? No?
Although I personally don't get grown adults using Facebook at all.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He asked me last nite to text her or email her from a strange number or account letting on that I'm this guy with a new number looking to know if she's up for fun with him. I know I know that's bad. He's trying to see if she would meet him or has |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks Casey lee I know that it's worse as I'm the one he confides in"
Yes, but only his wife can give him answers - he has to face up to the issue and the sooner the better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He asked me last nite to text her or email her from a strange number or account letting on that I'm this guy with a new number looking to know if she's up for fun with him. I know I know that's bad. He's trying to see if she would meet him or has "
NO NO NO
Tell him to grow a pair and confront her |
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"my friend has just admitted that he deleted this guy from her friends and she had sent him a message 2 hours later saying Jesus I've just seen that you've deleted me as a friend hope I've done nothing to annoy you I'm very sorry if I did.
What do I say to that I know the poor guys in bits he's been here for me a lot want to return favour for him
Be very careful about getting involved in other people's problems. The best advice you can give him is to talk to his wife.
Why would she use Facebook if she works with him she would have his number from work if anything was happening? ?
People can supposedly be friends with someone they work with? No?
Although I personally don't get grown adults using Facebook at all.
"
If you looked over my last few posts you would know i was tryin to say she wasnt cheating maybe its him that has cheated and thats why he has that in his head but sure thats my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my friend has just admitted that he deleted this guy from her friends and she had sent him a message 2 hours later saying Jesus I've just seen that you've deleted me as a friend hope I've done nothing to annoy you I'm very sorry if I did.
What do I say to that I know the poor guys in bits he's been here for me a lot want to return favour for him
Be very careful about getting involved in other people's problems. The best advice you can give him is to talk to his wife.
Why would she use Facebook if she works with him she would have his number from work if anything was happening? ?
People can supposedly be friends with someone they work with? No?
Although I personally don't get grown adults using Facebook at all.
If you looked over my last few posts you would know i was tryin to say she wasnt cheating maybe its him that has cheated and thats why he has that in his head but sure thats my opinion "
Anything is possible - but he's the one looking for help |
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"He asked me last nite to text her or email her from a strange number or account letting on that I'm this guy with a new number looking to know if she's up for fun with him. I know I know that's bad. He's trying to see if she would meet him or has "
no tell him to talk to her someone did that to me and I know it was innocent I go mad....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I half agree with one of the comments up, he needs to be upfront and speak to her, there has to be lots of tact there because of the many scenarios and outcomes possible but definitely be upfront in a non attacking accusing manner, Op you are a swinger so by this stage you probably know that there is nothing out of the ordinary to have sex with multiple partners but honesty is always an issue! All he need to do is ask he will get an answer might not be the truth but he will get an answer!   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That's what he's afraid of getting more lies told goldilocks she has a habit it telling little lies that he has found out over the years and didn't confront her about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He asked me last nite to text her or email her from a strange number or account letting on that I'm this guy with a new number looking to know if she's up for fun with him. I know I know that's bad. He's trying to see if she would meet him or has "
Jasus don't do that . He needs to man up and ask the hard questions |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes yosser he's not usually short of going at something believe me but my take on it is all he has is that she has searched this guys profile for about 2 years exchanged the odd message & a few times when he is home she has put the mobile down when he has walked in & that she sleeps with it under pillow now & she never used to do that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How could u approach it tactfully goldilocks he is not one for tactfully approaching anything he's afaid he will make things 10 times worse I guess"
by the sound of his rational thinking he's made his mind up as for pretending to be someone else and it's a person she works with that's asking for major trouble. Bit like entrapment the lad don't forget prob doesn't even know she's stalking him
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How could u approach it tactfully goldilocks he is not one for tactfully approaching anything he's afaid he will make things 10 times worse I guess"
If you corner an animal it will attack you, so no choice there! Well answer to that is with maturity!
First say look I was on the computer you left your Facebook opened I looked although I believe I shouldn't have but now I have a.doubt in my mind because.... Blah di.blah something like that I don't know main thing is to keep calm and don't accuse or assume is one way or another |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Misscar one thing is for certain she is stalking him & my friend thinks as I prob would as well in his situation that this means she's interested in him at least what's your take on that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes yosser he's not usually short of going at something believe me but my take on it is all he has is that she has searched this guys profile for about 2 years exchanged the odd message & a few times when he is home she has put the mobile down when he has walked in & that she sleeps with it under pillow now & she never used to do that"
Hmm the trouble here is that you don't know what really goes on in their marriage - if he is the jealous type, he could have made her become secretive...
My advice still stands, you're getting yourself embroiled in something where you:
-dont know the full facts
-are not impartial
-may make things worse unintentionally
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes yosser he's not usually short of going at something believe me but my take on it is all he has is that she has searched this guys profile for about 2 years exchanged the odd message & a few times when he is home she has put the mobile down when he has walked in & that she sleeps with it under pillow now & she never used to do that"
You know too much, this is you, you are talking about 100% so you made out to be your friend so yoy wouldn't come across as a hypocrit.... Well people in glass houses shouldn't trow stones approach it with maturity you are not innocent either you got no right to judge |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I will tell him that goldilocks that main thing is he has to stay calm he's think of staying in his mums over weekend he intents to ask her to explain everything on Friday nite when he is home |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's not me at all goldilocks he tells me everything believe me lol. Even when I don't want to get involved but I have seen that on here so easy to assume why u think its me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not me at all goldilocks he tells me everything believe me lol. Even when I don't want to get involved but I have seen that on here so easy to assume why u think its me "
Because I have a huge common sense, some of the details are very hard to tell others nit because you don't wanna tell but because they are small enough it would have to be an extremely detailed conversation and usually they don't take place especially if you are listening to a friend for hours, if you know what I mean and before some of you contrary people say I do that! Well sure you do! We all listen to friends but we all have our limits! So
You are in a swinging site asking advice for yourself the best thing you can do is take the good advice which is
Upfront
No double standards
Keep calm
Dont point finger
Focus on solution no problem!
Simple I personally don't care whether is you or not as I know this things happen in life but we gotta look at ourselves first and see are we behaving the same are we doing something to trigger that behaviour in them as I once said before only three type if relationship last
1)Both change
2)man changes
3)she changes
Change to accomodate the other to fit in, if you are not willing to change for her and she is not for you well you might aswell leave now! Life is full of changes! All the time one second to the other! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sound advice goldilocks I no u gave to reason to care who it is but your advice makes perfect sense I will chat to him about everything that has been said here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I swear, that bloody bookface turns people into idiots, I hear more stories about people falling out over it than anything else these days. What are you OP, his agony aunt? Tell him you don't want anything to do with it because unless you are privy to the facts from both parties, you're going to give him bad advice. Have you thought how you'll feel if they split after you've become involved? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not many women will just admit they are cheating (or men )can't see any good coming from confronting her.I would just keep an eye on fb account and see how it progresses.I know that wouldn't be a popular opinion around here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not many women will just admit they are cheating (or men )can't see any good coming from confronting her.I would just keep an eye on fb account and see how it progresses.I know that wouldn't be a popular opinion around here"
I guess it depends on whether you want to salvage a relationship or just catch the other person out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not about catching someone out.hes clearly insecure weither it's with good reason or not.it's highly unlikely his wife will just admit she's cheating when he confronts her.it's all going to be turned back around on him if he does ask her.if she is cheating she will just deny it and let him have it for creeping her Facebook and if she's not she will equally let him have it for accussing her in the first place.
I just don't see any good coming from it.if he sits back and see how things progress then he might realise it's all in his head or he might actually find definitive proof.just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He is Paranoid and she is Nosey..
OP I'd steer well clear cause if it turns out to be bullshit and she finds out you were playing Dear Deirdre the agony aunt you will be shunned by both. |
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"Michael that is what's getting to him he knows when he's away she has the time to play away if she wanted to"
Aha, you see I thought it was Chuck, the truck driving fuck, who was away a lot. Oops  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if all he has to go on is the fact she browsed a co workers page a couple of times over the last 2 yrs then I would say he is being rediculous ! .All this trying to set her up and catch her out palava is bollix , why doesnt he just come clean , mention he saw the exchange of a few messages when he was logged in her account and ask her if she has anything she wants to tell him and then go by her reaction , there may be a totally plausible explanation that has nothing to do with having an affair . How absolutely broken down in communication would they have to be for it to come to this ? sounds to me like hes actually HOPING she is up to something cos he hasnt the balls to confront the fact that their relationship has somewhat broken down and hes looking for someone else to blame . Tell him to man up and speak to his partner and stop all this baiting and snooping around on his behalf , anyone who agrees to snoop for him is a busybody . Your caught in a bit of a spot , but tell him you will be there for him as you always have been but he needs to face it head on and stop fannying about . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can't say he's hoping she's up to something but I agree what he wants me to do is wrong & I don't want to be this closely involved I like his wife & get on well with her blue |
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"I can't say he's hoping she's up to something but I agree what he wants me to do is wrong & I don't want to be this closely involved I like his wife & get on well with her blue"
So you're thinking of throwing her a bone yourself? Nice one!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only cynic in the entire country who doesn't believe a word of this?  "
Nope
I contributed earlier but having discussed it with my sensai I now call BS  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No she ain't a lorry driver what twisted fantasy do u have lol
It involves a Rubber Duck, a few Bears & adoration of the number 10.
10-4 good buddy! "
We could form a convoy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only cynic in the entire country who doesn't believe a word of this?
Nope
I contributed earlier but having discussed it with my sensai I now call BS "
Yay! I am sensai! I own Ya Yosser |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I the only cynic in the entire country who doesn't believe a word of this?
Nope
I contributed earlier but having discussed it with my sensai I now call BS
Yay! I am sensai! I own Ya Yosser "
Supposed to be my "secret " Sensai
However on topic MMM reckons you know shit??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here's my take on this thread,
Couple of weeks ago you put up a thread about some woman sending you a pic she had on her Facebook.
So then we have 3 options to consider:
1. Was said woman married and you are concerned now?
2. Is your own wife possibly on Fab and you are in someway trying to get info?
Or
3. Are you just nice |
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Been there gone through that.
Everybody lies.
If your gut is telling you something , its probably right or at least not too far from the truth.
It will get very very very messy.
When it comes to this all logic goes out the window.
There's 3 sides to the story and the truth, his hers and what actually happened.
His head is and will be a mess while he s trying to figure out whats happening so he s only going to hear what he wants to hear. |
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"My best friend rang me this morning upset about finding his wife is searching a guy she works with profile on Facebook a hell of a lot. Her moblie is broke so she logged in to Facebook on his & he has his phone set to remember passwords so when he went to log in logged it to hers. He's not proud that he snooped through her Facebook activity log but he came across all these searches for the same guy & there friends already. They have young children & he doesn't want to slip the family up but he has it in his head now she's cheating on him. He's a lorry driver and is away a lot to make matters worse. Any of you been through this? He wants advice as he's not sure how to handle it"
Does this friend exist or are you the truck driver?? |
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"My best friend rang me this morning upset about finding his wife is searching a guy she works with profile on Facebook a hell of a lot. Her moblie is broke so she logged in to Facebook on his & he has his phone set to remember passwords so when he went to log in logged it to hers. He's not proud that he snooped through her Facebook activity log but he came across all these searches for the same guy & there friends already. They have young children & he doesn't want to slip the family up but he has it in his head now she's cheating on him. He's a lorry driver and is away a lot to make matters worse. Any of you been through this? He wants advice as he's not sure how to handle it
Does this friend exist or are you the truck driver??"
Henceforth to be known as Chuck, the truck driving fuck! |
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"My best friend rang me this morning upset about finding his wife is searching a guy she works with profile on Facebook a hell of a lot. Her moblie is broke so she logged in to Facebook on his & he has his phone set to remember passwords so when he went to log in logged it to hers. He's not proud that he snooped through her Facebook activity log but he came across all these searches for the same guy & there friends already. They have young children & he doesn't want to slip the family up but he has it in his head now she's cheating on him. He's a lorry driver and is away a lot to make matters worse. Any of you been through this? He wants advice as he's not sure how to handle it
Does this friend exist or are you the truck driver??
Henceforth to be known as Chuck, the truck driving fuck! "
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Whats the step between "whoops logged in" to going through search history. I don't even know how to check search history on facebook.
If it was me though, id take the kids with me in the truck and head off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP maybe they are both on here and setting you up to fulfill a little fantasy of theirs? You said he wanted you to text her?.. and you get on very well with her? Hmmmm... ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read this complete story in the problem page on a well known tabloid newspaper yesterday ... Word for word !!!! Unbelievable ... I suppose he submitted it to the newspaper for advise too lol "
must have been stumped for a thread idea |
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By *ale4U2Man
over a year ago
Nearby |
"I read this complete story in the problem page on a well known tabloid newspaper yesterday ... Word for word !!!! Unbelievable ... I suppose he submitted it to the newspaper for advise too lol
must have been stumped for a thread idea"
Seriously ! Haha .. Fair play it got lots of comments which he obviously wanted ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Which problem page on what tabloid newspaper? I can assure u this is a genuine post guys"
Best not looking for advice on here .. we is all lovely and all .. but your friends personal life (if it's true) is their business.. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate his paranoia being discussed on an open forum in a swing site .. just saying |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Maybe it wasn't the most sensible to bring it on here but I've seen some good advice given out on here. I've taken a step back abit from it he is going to talk to his wife when he's home again at the weekend? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Weekend relationships are cery tough to keep romantic, we've been in one for almost 10 years now, so if he thinks she's cheating then he needs to communicate that to her and they both need to sit diwn and re-map their marriage. And find ways of keeping it hot. but it ain't easy at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This situation is a powder keg - and you are holding it.
Be carefull dude. If they sit down and have a heart to heart and she finds out you were involved, she could try and put up a wall between you and your mate. Women have a knack for doing this, I know.
If you love your mate, ok to say that you do, tell him that you have done as much as you can and that you are backing off. Insist that he sits her down and discusses what he has discovered. It may be innocent. When I was married, I had women friends and work colleagues that I was texting. Nothing happened with any of they but at the same time I kept it from my wife. Didn't need the questions.
Your mates wife is probably keeping this hidden for that same reason. She doesn't want your buddy humping to the wrong conclusion. ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some people are just fantasising online, and bored and browsing. She may fancy the bloke but is not acting on it.
a less provocative way of probing might be to sit down and have a chat about where they are in relationship, without the diret accusuation... you were on facebook etc.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Guys just an update he talked to his wife last nite & she said that it was innocent but that they flirted abit go on well & she enjoyed the attention but never has & never would take it any further |
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