FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Sex sent me to the ER
Sex sent me to the ER
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I fell down the stairs. ...and my cock got stuck in the hoover. ....that's the gods honest truth. .... 
OUCH!  ......the doctor was puzzled as to why I was wearing a condom. ....  "
Safety first lol  |
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Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha |
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"I fell down the stairs. ...and my cock got stuck in the hoover. ....that's the gods honest truth. ....
OUCH! ......the doctor was puzzled as to why I was wearing a condom. .... "
you'd have been better off wearing a helmet. |
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"I fell down the stairs. ...and my cock got stuck in the hoover. ....that's the gods honest truth. ....
OUCH! ......the doctor was puzzled as to why I was wearing a condom. ....
you'd have been better off wearing a helmet.......I was wearing a miners helmet when I fell off the trapeze. ...long story. ...  "
I hope u didn't break the miners helmet when you fell.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I fell down the stairs. ...and my cock got stuck in the hoover. ....that's the gods honest truth. ....
OUCH! ......the doctor was puzzled as to why I was wearing a condom. ....
you'd have been better off wearing a helmet.......I was wearing a miners helmet when I fell off the trapeze. ...long story. ...
I hope u didn't break the miners helmet when you fell. "
....no helmets were injured in the making of this movie. ..... |
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My and some friends drinking in the old An brog bar in cork mate had to go to A & E over a "zipper malfunction" in the jacks, cut into his sausage a little.
Hilarious to this day, as next few times we saw him he only wore button up pants haha  |
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By *ilg41Man
over a year ago
schticks |
Hairline fractured a girls pelvis once, she was out of work for 12 weeks!!
She was tiny tho - I always looked at her and said to myself
"I would do serious damage to that"
I was true to myself!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was with a girl and things were going well so I decided start foreplay.
So I started doing round house kicks and punching the air infront of her face. She said "you better not hit me", and I said "Or what?" then she said "I'll get my brother to bate you", so I said "If you think your brother can bate me go get him now, we settle this like men" and she was like "just dont hit me or you'll be sorry" and I was like "dont distract me, and I wont hit you, I know what I'm doing, stop moving".
Then I did a front somersault but didnt land properly, I landed on my tail bone and I was on the ground in pain and she helped me up to sit lie down on the row of chairs. Things were starting to cool down she was kinda eyeing her phone a bit too much so I told her I had to go cause I had a date waiting for me.
So she said grand. So I got up and went to go to the girl that was waiting for me in town, was gonna be our first date. It was a bit late now cause of all my arsing about. So I was looking over my shoulder for the bus and walking fast and I walked into a sign post.
It hurt a lot and I put my hand on my head and there was blood everywhere. So I decided to go to hosptial. So I walked to the hospital and went in and said I had banged my head I might need stiches. So the guy there says "gis a look" and I took my hand off my head and blood started pouring down my face and he turned pale and looked like he was gonna vomit.
Anyway while I was waiting I decided to phone the girl and tell her I would be late. So I phone her up and tell her that I am gonna be late that I am in hospital getting stitched up had been in an accident. So she says "If you dont want to meet me just say" and I was like "listen I am in pain here and not in the mood, I will be there in an hour" and she agreed.
So then the doctor or nurse stitched me up.
So I go meet this girl and its too late for the movie and I have come straight from the hospital so I am covered in blood, but I dont notice cause I am a bit slow from the bang to the head. She asks what happend and i say I walked into a sign post and she asks if someone hit me with a bottle, and I am like why would someone do that????
So its too late for the film so we go back to her place and she is training to be a doctor so she asks me can she touch my wound and have a look at it, so I say grand.
So she has a look at my wound on my head then Im sitting there and I'm horny and I have an erection, and she sees it under my jeans cause Im leaning back and I cant hide it, so she says "whoopsie, lollipop" and puts a cushion on my lap. I laugh and we talk for a while then she takes the cushion back, but like my erection is still there so she puts it back on my lap.
Anyway I decided to tell her that I needed to go home. I dont remember how I got home.
Anyway, I didnt have sex but I hurt my head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was with a girl and things were going well so I decided start foreplay.
So I started doing round house kicks and punching the air infront of her face. She said "you better not hit me", and I said "Or what?" then she said "I'll get my brother to bate you", so I said "If you think your brother can bate me go get him now, we settle this like men" and she was like "just dont hit me or you'll be sorry" and I was like "dont distract me, and I wont hit you, I know what I'm doing, stop moving".
Then I did a front somersault but didnt land properly, I landed on my tail bone and I was on the ground in pain and she helped me up to sit lie down on the row of chairs. Things were starting to cool down she was kinda eyeing her phone a bit too much so I told her I had to go cause I had a date waiting for me.
So she said grand. So I got up and went to go to the girl that was waiting for me in town, was gonna be our first date. It was a bit late now cause of all my arsing about. So I was looking over my shoulder for the bus and walking fast and I walked into a sign post.
It hurt a lot and I put my hand on my head and there was blood everywhere. So I decided to go to hosptial. So I walked to the hospital and went in and said I had banged my head I might need stiches. So the guy there says "gis a look" and I took my hand off my head and blood started pouring down my face and he turned pale and looked like he was gonna vomit.
Anyway while I was waiting I decided to phone the girl and tell her I would be late. So I phone her up and tell her that I am gonna be late that I am in hospital getting stitched up had been in an accident. So she says "If you dont want to meet me just say" and I was like "listen I am in pain here and not in the mood, I will be there in an hour" and she agreed.
So then the doctor or nurse stitched me up.
So I go meet this girl and its too late for the movie and I have come straight from the hospital so I am covered in blood, but I dont notice cause I am a bit slow from the bang to the head. She asks what happend and i say I walked into a sign post and she asks if someone hit me with a bottle, and I am like why would someone do that????
So its too late for the film so we go back to her place and she is training to be a doctor so she asks me can she touch my wound and have a look at it, so I say grand.
So she has a look at my wound on my head then Im sitting there and I'm horny and I have an erection, and she sees it under my jeans cause Im leaning back and I cant hide it, so she says "whoopsie, lollipop" and puts a cushion on my lap. I laugh and we talk for a while then she takes the cushion back, but like my erection is still there so she puts it back on my lap.
Anyway I decided to tell her that I needed to go home. I dont remember how I got home.
Anyway, I didnt have sex but I hurt my head."
...Jaysus it would take me 3 weeks to type all that... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jaysus it would take me 3 weeks to type all that... "
I'm sure you're not that bad. Typing is part of my job though. I dont have to look at the screen on the keys and just look at youtube instead, type as I think. |
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"I was with a girl and things were going well so I decided start foreplay.
So I started doing round house kicks and punching the air infront of her face. She said "you better not hit me", and I said "Or what?" then she said "I'll get my brother to bate you", so I said "If you think your brother can bate me go get him now, we settle this like men" and she was like "just dont hit me or you'll be sorry" and I was like "dont distract me, and I wont hit you, I know what I'm doing, stop moving".
Then I did a front somersault but didnt land properly, I landed on my tail bone and I was on the ground in pain and she helped me up to sit lie down on the row of chairs. Things were starting to cool down she was kinda eyeing her phone a bit too much so I told her I had to go cause I had a date waiting for me.
So she said grand. So I got up and went to go to the girl that was waiting for me in town, was gonna be our first date. It was a bit late now cause of all my arsing about. So I was looking over my shoulder for the bus and walking fast and I walked into a sign post.
It hurt a lot and I put my hand on my head and there was blood everywhere. So I decided to go to hosptial. So I walked to the hospital and went in and said I had banged my head I might need stiches. So the guy there says "gis a look" and I took my hand off my head and blood started pouring down my face and he turned pale and looked like he was gonna vomit.
Anyway while I was waiting I decided to phone the girl and tell her I would be late. So I phone her up and tell her that I am gonna be late that I am in hospital getting stitched up had been in an accident. So she says "If you dont want to meet me just say" and I was like "listen I am in pain here and not in the mood, I will be there in an hour" and she agreed.
So then the doctor or nurse stitched me up.
So I go meet this girl and its too late for the movie and I have come straight from the hospital so I am covered in blood, but I dont notice cause I am a bit slow from the bang to the head. She asks what happend and i say I walked into a sign post and she asks if someone hit me with a bottle, and I am like why would someone do that????
So its too late for the film so we go back to her place and she is training to be a doctor so she asks me can she touch my wound and have a look at it, so I say grand.
So she has a look at my wound on my head then Im sitting there and I'm horny and I have an erection, and she sees it under my jeans cause Im leaning back and I cant hide it, so she says "whoopsie, lollipop" and puts a cushion on my lap. I laugh and we talk for a while then she takes the cushion back, but like my erection is still there so she puts it back on my lap.
Anyway I decided to tell her that I needed to go home. I dont remember how I got home.
Anyway, I didnt have sex but I hurt my head."
Great story mate must have been sore the day after. |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha "
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol |
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"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol"
hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha"
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back  |
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"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back "
hahaha will there be cake? |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake? "
there might be |
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"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be"
might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch "
oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap |
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"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap "
bring it on knobjockey |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap bring it on knobjockey "
we will see how brave you are when i smash you back door in |
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"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap bring it on knobjockey we will see how brave you are when i smash you back door in "
I'll suck u in haha |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap bring it on knobjockey we will see how brave you are when i smash you back door in I'll suck u in haha "
in or off ? or maybe both ? |
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"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap bring it on knobjockey we will see how brave you are when i smash you back door in I'll suck u in haha
in or off ? or maybe both ?"
maybe both I suppose depends how hard u smash the door haha |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap bring it on knobjockey we will see how brave you are when i smash you back door in I'll suck u in haha
in or off ? or maybe both ? maybe both I suppose depends how hard u smash the door haha "
i'll smash them so badly you will be left with another hump on your back lol |
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"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap bring it on knobjockey we will see how brave you are when i smash you back door in I'll suck u in haha
in or off ? or maybe both ? maybe both I suppose depends how hard u smash the door haha
i'll smash them so badly you will be left with another hump on your back lol"
like a camel? Haha |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap bring it on knobjockey we will see how brave you are when i smash you back door in I'll suck u in haha
in or off ? or maybe both ? maybe both I suppose depends how hard u smash the door haha
i'll smash them so badly you will be left with another hump on your back lol like a camel? Haha"
camel around the front and two humps around the back |
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"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap bring it on knobjockey we will see how brave you are when i smash you back door in I'll suck u in haha
in or off ? or maybe both ? maybe both I suppose depends how hard u smash the door haha
i'll smash them so badly you will be left with another hump on your back lol like a camel? Haha
camel around the front and two humps around the back"
hahaha get workin on the smashin so |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap bring it on knobjockey we will see how brave you are when i smash you back door in I'll suck u in haha
in or off ? or maybe both ? maybe both I suppose depends how hard u smash the door haha
i'll smash them so badly you will be left with another hump on your back lol like a camel? Haha
camel around the front and two humps around the back hahaha get workin on the smashin so "
i'll meet ya in the park with a bag of cans and a bottle of lube lol |
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"Friend of mine got fucked across a kitchen chair once wen she came back into the other room she had a huge lump on her back look like fuckin quasymodo or whatever his name is she ended up in hosp for two days the look on the doctors face wen she said how it happened haha
was this "friend" you as iv i have seen your hunchback lol hahaha no Ya sap and I do not have a hunchback haha
meet me in the kitchen and we will try it out and see if the hump comes back hahaha will there be cake?
there might be might isn't good enough get naked and in the kitchen now bitch oh you are in for it now !! ya little sap bring it on knobjockey we will see how brave you are when i smash you back door in I'll suck u in haha
in or off ? or maybe both ? maybe both I suppose depends how hard u smash the door haha
i'll smash them so badly you will be left with another hump on your back lol like a camel? Haha
camel around the front and two humps around the back hahaha get workin on the smashin so
i'll meet ya in the park with a bag of cans and a bottle of lube lol"
awh my dream date how did u no? Haha |
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By *ark the manMan
over a year ago
dublin. meath louth areas |
As Enda would say.... a guy I know was playing with the wife and she decided to make things a little bit more interesting. ... and a while later she has a small silver dido in his ass while milking him on all fours...I think she used a bit to much lube. ..... a short while later him and her are in A+E getting x rays |
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