FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Random funny quotes

Random funny quotes

Jump to: Newest in thread

By *uzikhead OP Man over a year ago

Bray

One from Jez in Peep Show cracked me up

"I'm the cuckoo in the nest, the python in the toy box... and, quite possibly, the man of your dreams"

Let's hear yours

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If it weren't for marriage,husbands and wives would have to fight with strangers" Chic Murray

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isdirtygirlWoman over a year ago

Dublin

When a woman says "what!"..its not because she didn't hear you,, shes giving you the chance to change what you said

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If she ever says "fine" in an argument, you've already lost.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Jerry Seinfeld

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If your aunt had a bollix she'd be your uncle...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isdirtygirlWoman over a year ago

Dublin

"If your aunt had a bollix she'd be your uncle...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like to hold hands at the movies,which always tends to startle strangers.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's bad luck to get killed on a Tuesday...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can resist anything ....but temptation

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A Paedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert. - Peter Griffin

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The trouble with doing nothing,is,never knowing when you're done.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isdirtygirlWoman over a year ago

Dublin

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit,, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been looking for a girl like you,not you,but a girl like you. Groucho Marx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some days even they devil himself sits back and admires my work

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I could dance with you til the cows come home. ..or better yet. ..dance with the cows til you come home. ..also groucho...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

"Ride me sideways, that's another one"

Mrs Doyle

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/03/15 16:03:50]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm so hungry I could eat the beats of Moses

Beard of Moses

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

"Can you imagine Father, looking up at your husband, and him standing over you with his lad in his hand, wanting you to degrade yourself? God almighty can you imagine that Father? Can you picture it there Father? Oh get a good mental picture of it. Can you see him there? Ready to do the business??"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/03/15 16:07:29]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

Are you alright there Goldie? You appear to have developed a bit of a stammer?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are you alright there Goldie? You appear to have developed a bit of a stammer?

Don't know what's happening , must be the wild weather Michael ,lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *randub69Man over a year ago

city

If electricity wasn't invented, we'd be watching television by candlelight

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Kids in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause kids

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If electricity wasn't invented, we'd be watching television by candlelight "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would never join a club that would have me as a member ... Groucho Marx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *randub69Man over a year ago

city

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful. she is beautiful because you love her.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hello,room service?send me up a bigger room"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Hello,room service?send me up a bigger room" "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wish life was like a cartoon... i could wear the same clothes and noone would care

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your mother is a fine little woman ... Spike milligans father to Spike as they watch her digging the air raid shelter in the back garden .... 'And getting smaller all the time ' says Spike to his Da

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whatever you do in life you should give it 100%.... unless it's blood

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful. she is beautiful because you love her.

Awww that's sweet

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *randub69Man over a year ago

city

God loves a tryer......

but he hates a chancer

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uzikhead OP Man over a year ago

Bray

Bender

"Get a room you two"

"We're in a room"

"Well then lose some weight"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uzikhead OP Man over a year ago

Bray

"You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A Paedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert. - Peter Griffin

Another Family Guy classic

"Hey Quagmire......... I fucked your dad"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *j47Man over a year ago

limerick

Another fine mess u have gotten me into

Ollie

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *j47Man over a year ago

limerick

If u die with a face like that on u no one WL wash it

My grandmother