As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew his tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight. It was his birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time. Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling I love you in Braille. As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig-like nostrils. It was a mixture of , B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there he was. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Lidl. He had tied up his Staffy to block the alley way so we wouldn't be disturbed. Some tramp was watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same. My mum had told me to leave him many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had fucked his tea up after failing to defrost his prawn ring I had nicked from Iceland. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my ass. It stung but I liked it. I shouted "Again again" so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which was extremely rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections. Who needs Christian Grey, I have all I could ever need with my bae."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pmsl a Tyrone women for it 
for what lol giving us a laugh
oh right thought was in for something else ! oh well me and my dirty mind lol "
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that gave me a giggle 