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Funny things happen during sex
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What's the funniest thing that ever happened to you while having sex? I once got a really bad cramp, was training that evening, and pretty much threw her off me as I rolled around the bed in agony! Funny looking back... Or the time when you try to take your boxers off real sexy and skilfully with her legs and your feet without stopping etc but you slip and your knee slides hard into her gee... Erm that was a friend of mine that it happened to! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My aunt walking in on me having sex when I was 16... She got a great view of me balls deep with a girlfriend.
My room mate in college ripped his foreskin during sex, lots of blood screaming, a taxi to the hospital and the worst slagging ever..  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My aunt walking in on me having sex when I was 16... She got a great view of me balls deep with a girlfriend.
My room mate in college ripped his foreskin during sex, lots of blood screaming, a taxi to the hospital and the worst slagging ever.. "
Haha that happened to a mate in college too. Apparently the amount of blood that pours out is serious! What a shitty injury!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My aunt walking in on me having sex when I was 16... She got a great view of me balls deep with a girlfriend.
My room mate in college ripped his foreskin during sex, lots of blood screaming, a taxi to the hospital and the worst slagging ever..
Haha that happened to a mate in college too. Apparently the amount of blood that pours out is serious! What a shitty injury!! "
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By *em4ejacWoman
over a year ago
Cougarville |
Lost a toy in guys anus . Not intentionally, he got really aroused and it just disappeared, I could still hear it vibrating, he thought he was going to die from Lithium poisoning. Trying my hardest not to laugh when he went to en suite to try and remove it, I was in the other bathroom hysterical and biting into a towel , every time I tried to leave the bathroom the towel got another biting. Once I'd calmed down and he came out of en suite I said I'd take him to hospital in the morning as we had both been drinking . He limped home but text 2 hours later to say we didn't need to go to hospital 
I always have a wee laugh when I see him socially .  |
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By *unduo000Couple
over a year ago
In and around |
We thought we locked the front door and were hard at it on the living floor when my mother walked in just at the vital minute. My hubby didn't break his stroke and just says to her go on in the kitchen put the kettle on I'll make you a cuppa in a minute. Ever the good son inlaw lol. |
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"Lost a toy in guys anus . Not intentionally, he got really aroused and it just disappeared, I could still hear it vibrating, he thought he was going to die from Lithium poisoning. Trying my hardest not to laugh when he went to en suite to try and remove it, I was in the other bathroom hysterical and biting into a towel , every time I tried to leave the bathroom the towel got another biting. Once I'd calmed down and he came out of en suite I said I'd take him to hospital in the morning as we had both been drinking . He limped home but text 2 hours later to say we didn't need to go to hospital
I always have a wee laugh when I see him socially . "
I've been crying with laughter like a school boy for the last 5 minutes since reading this.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cooked for the girl I was seeing one night, after eating and a few glasses f wine we got kissing and turned on. I put my hands down Her pants and Rubbed her clit for a bit she then stopped me a of a sudden and ran to the bathroom. Turned out her clit was going crazy as I'd handled a few chillies while cooking and even after washing my hands it nearly killed her. I swear on my life it's true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I cooked for the girl I was seeing one night, after eating and a few glasses f wine we got kissing and turned on. I put my hands down Her pants and Rubbed her clit for a bit she then stopped me a of a sudden and ran to the bathroom. Turned out her clit was going crazy as I'd handled a few chillies while cooking and even after washing my hands it nearly killed her. I swear on my life it's true.
Ha ha thats hilarous... "
She wasn't laughing at the time, but meant I had to do a lot of oral work to help out......I gladly obliged. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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*Guy pulled my tongue piercing very badly (still no idea how he managed do it) so my tongue was sore next few days.
* Some guys 4 friends walked in hotel room in best moment |
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By *auraxxWoman
over a year ago
east |
"I cooked for the girl I was seeing one night, after eating and a few glasses f wine we got kissing and turned on. I put my hands down Her pants and Rubbed her clit for a bit she then stopped me a of a sudden and ran to the bathroom. Turned out her clit was going crazy as I'd handled a few chillies while cooking and even after washing my hands it nearly killed her. I swear on my life it's true. "
Similar happened to me... A lovely guy made me a pasta Arabiata, to say thank you we got down to fun and I was giving him quite a deep blow job when he suddenly started saying his cock was hot. A chilli seed had gotten caught in his foreskin from my throat. He spent the next 20 minutes with his willy in a glass of cold water, as I rolled around laughing and he kept saying "it's not funny!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lost a toy in guys anus . Not intentionally, he got really aroused and it just disappeared, I could still hear it vibrating, he thought he was going to die from Lithium poisoning. Trying my hardest not to laugh when he went to en suite to try and remove it, I was in the other bathroom hysterical and biting into a towel , every time I tried to leave the bathroom the towel got another biting. Once I'd calmed down and he came out of en suite I said I'd take him to hospital in the morning as we had both been drinking . He limped home but text 2 hours later to say we didn't need to go to hospital
I always have a wee laugh when I see him socially . "
My God, that is the funniest thing I have heard in ages!! Thanks for that You paint such a detailed picture ha. Thanks anyways, funny out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I cooked for the girl I was seeing one night, after eating and a few glasses f wine we got kissing and turned on. I put my hands down Her pants and Rubbed her clit for a bit she then stopped me a of a sudden and ran to the bathroom. Turned out her clit was going crazy as I'd handled a few chillies while cooking and even after washing my hands it nearly killed her. I swear on my life it's true.
Similar happened to me... A lovely guy made me a pasta Arabiata, to say thank you we got down to fun and I was giving him quite a deep blow job when he suddenly started saying his cock was hot. A chilli seed had gotten caught in his foreskin from my throat. He spent the next 20 minutes with his willy in a glass of cold water, as I rolled around laughing and he kept saying "it's not funny!""
That's called the devils blowjob and apparently some people like that haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We thought we locked the front door and were hard at it on the living floor when my mother walked in just at the vital minute. My hubby didn't break his stroke and just says to her go on in the kitchen put the kettle on I'll make you a cuppa in a minute. Ever the good son inlaw lol. "
No way, this man is a legend Respect ha. Maniac. I'd be sleeping with one eye open haha |
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"Similar happened to me... A lovely guy made me a pasta Arabiata, to say thank you we got down to fun and I was giving him quite a deep blow job when he suddenly started saying his cock was hot. A chilli seed had gotten caught in his foreskin from my throat. He spent the next 20 minutes with his willy in a glass of cold water, as I rolled around laughing and he kept saying "it's not funny!""
That has to be today's hot-tip! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once had a guy stop mid way through fucking me because my badly painted wall was putting him off.... 
Wall paper next time so "
No fucking way did he get a next time! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i remeber once a guy was on top of me going 90 and the pump up bed blew on us he smashed himself off the coffee table knocking himself out after he came round he was dizzy so we stopped and called the doc on call he got checked over and after a cup of coffee we went back too finish what we started lol looking back at very very funny but scared the fuk out of me on the night though |
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By *rsmith21Man
over a year ago
Never never land |
I was once getting a Blow job going down the n7 the girl loved deep throat but wasn't quite able for it and got sick all over it looked like a sausage sticking up out of a plate of meat balls I had to drive the rest of the way home naked
I have a laugh thinking about it now !!! |
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"i remeber once a guy was on top of me going 90 and the pump up bed blew on us he smashed himself off the coffee table knocking himself out after he came round he was dizzy so we stopped and called the doc on call he got checked over and after a cup of coffee we went back too finish what we started lol looking back at very very funny but scared the fuk out of me on the night though"
Was he doing 90 mph or 90 lph? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i remeber once a guy was on top of me going 90 and the pump up bed blew on us he smashed himself off the coffee table knocking himself out after he came round he was dizzy so we stopped and called the doc on call he got checked over and after a cup of coffee we went back too finish what we started lol looking back at very very funny but scared the fuk out of me on the night though
Was he doing 90 mph or 90 lph? "
well put it this way it was fast pumping |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i remeber once a guy was on top of me going 90 and the pump up bed blew on us he smashed himself off the coffee table knocking himself out after he came round he was dizzy so we stopped and called the doc on call he got checked over and after a cup of coffee we went back too finish what we started lol looking back at very very funny but scared the fuk out of me on the night though
Was he doing 90 mph or 90 lph? "
I'd say 90 psi |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i remeber once a guy was on top of me going 90 and the pump up bed blew on us he smashed himself off the coffee table knocking himself out after he came round he was dizzy so we stopped and called the doc on call he got checked over and after a cup of coffee we went back too finish what we started lol looking back at very very funny but scared the fuk out of me on the night though
Was he doing 90 mph or 90 lph?
I'd say 90 psi "
lol psi what's that now |
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"i remeber once a guy was on top of me going 90 and the pump up bed blew on us he smashed himself off the coffee table knocking himself out after he came round he was dizzy so we stopped and called the doc on call he got checked over and after a cup of coffee we went back too finish what we started lol looking back at very very funny but scared the fuk out of me on the night though
Was he doing 90 mph or 90 lph? well put it this way it was fast pumping "
Sounds like 90 lengths per hour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i remeber once a guy was on top of me going 90 and the pump up bed blew on us he smashed himself off the coffee table knocking himself out after he came round he was dizzy so we stopped and called the doc on call he got checked over and after a cup of coffee we went back too finish what we started lol looking back at very very funny but scared the fuk out of me on the night though
Was he doing 90 mph or 90 lph?
I'd say 90 psi lol psi what's that now "
Pounds per square inch it's a unit of pressure usually used to measure air pressure in tires |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i remeber once a guy was on top of me going 90 and the pump up bed blew on us he smashed himself off the coffee table knocking himself out after he came round he was dizzy so we stopped and called the doc on call he got checked over and after a cup of coffee we went back too finish what we started lol looking back at very very funny but scared the fuk out of me on the night though
Was he doing 90 mph or 90 lph?
I'd say 90 psi lol psi what's that now
Pounds per square inch it's a unit of pressure usually used to measure air pressure in tires "
em no just really fast fukin I dunno weather too take that as insult or not being honest  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Similar happened to me... A lovely guy made me a pasta Arabiata, to say thank you we got down to fun and I was giving him quite a deep blow job when he suddenly started saying his cock was hot. A chilli seed had gotten caught in his foreskin from my throat. He spent the next 20 minutes with his willy in a glass of cold water, as I rolled around laughing and he kept saying "it's not funny!"
That has to be today's hot-tip! "
Haha. I love your cheesy jokes. |
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"Lost a toy in guys anus . Not intentionally, he got really aroused and it just disappeared, I could still hear it vibrating, he thought he was going to die from Lithium poisoning. Trying my hardest not to laugh when he went to en suite to try and remove it, I was in the other bathroom hysterical and biting into a towel , every time I tried to leave the bathroom the towel got another biting. Once I'd calmed down and he came out of en suite I said I'd take him to hospital in the morning as we had both been drinking . He limped home but text 2 hours later to say we didn't need to go to hospital
I always have a wee laugh when I see him socially . "
I knew there was a reason why I joined fab. This is it.
I laughed hysterically at this. Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cooked a lovely meal for my gf who liked a little kick with chilli . Went upstairs a little while later nd she just froze in bed in agony . Ya i musnt hav washed my hands thoroughly enough i felt awful bad. My bad  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My aunt walking in on me having sex when I was 16... She got a great view of me balls deep with a girlfriend.
My room mate in college ripped his foreskin during sex, lots of blood screaming, a taxi to the hospital and the worst slagging ever..
Haha that happened to a mate in college too. Apparently the amount of blood that pours out is serious! What a shitty injury!! "
I done that to a guy once jaysus it was like a massacre |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was in my early twenties i had two different women on different occasions just start crying during sex, I was so confused in both occasions ,I asked if they were alright, they replied yes so I kept going, but only for a few more minutes as the crying was putting me of. I either bring out sad emotions in women, I'm either shit in bed, or I'm that good they were crying with happiness, or it could be that I just attract the nutters. It's something that I don't want to happen to me again in a hurry.
Either one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lost a toy in guys anus . Not intentionally, he got really aroused and it just disappeared, I could still hear it vibrating, he thought he was going to die from Lithium poisoning. Trying my hardest not to laugh when he went to en suite to try and remove it, I was in the other bathroom hysterical and biting into a towel , every time I tried to leave the bathroom the towel got another biting. Once I'd calmed down and he came out of en suite I said I'd take him to hospital in the morning as we had both been drinking . He limped home but text 2 hours later to say we didn't need to go to hospital
I always have a wee laugh when I see him socially .
I knew there was a reason why I joined fab. This is it.
I laughed hysterically at this. Thank you."
I have to agree with willow. .burst my ass laughing at this (no pun intended)
Frosty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few years ago I met a lady from here. Long story short:
*Sex
*Broken Bed
*Dog Underneath
*Squash
*Dead Dog
*Tears
*Vet
(Dog died a few days later in the vets)
THE END |
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By *oxer22Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"A few years ago I met a lady from here. Long story short:
*Sex
*Broken Bed
*Dog Underneath
*Squash
*Dead Dog
*Tears
*Vet
(Dog died a few days later in the vets)
THE END
dear lord
"
ha bet she does not like doggie any more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cooked a lovely meal for my gf who liked a little kick with chilli . Went upstairs a little while later nd she just froze in bed in agony . Ya i musnt hav washed my hands thoroughly enough i felt awful bad. My bad "
That happened me years ago with my ex... Had to sit on shower floor with the cold nozzle on for ages!!!!! |
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"A few years ago I met a lady from here. Long story short:
*Sex
*Broken Bed
*Dog Underneath
*Squash
*Dead Dog
*Tears
*Vet
(Dog died a few days later in the vets)
THE END"
Lucky the husband wasn't under the bed !!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cooked a lovely meal for my gf who liked a little kick with chilli . Went upstairs a little while later nd she just froze in bed in agony . Ya i musnt hav washed my hands thoroughly enough i felt awful bad. My bad "
Get your own stories man |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I cooked for the girl I was seeing one night, after eating and a few glasses f wine we got kissing and turned on. I put my hands down Her pants and Rubbed her clit for a bit she then stopped me a of a sudden and ran to the bathroom. Turned out her clit was going crazy as I'd handled a few chillies while cooking and even after washing my hands it nearly killed her. I swear on my life it's true.
Similar happened to me... A lovely guy made me a pasta Arabiata, to say thank you we got down to fun and I was giving him quite a deep blow job when he suddenly started saying his cock was hot. A chilli seed had gotten caught in his foreskin from my throat. He spent the next 20 minutes with his willy in a glass of cold water, as I rolled around laughing and he kept saying "it's not funny!""
Best thing to use is a xxx mint. If the guy sucks on it for a bit doesn't chew IT and then goes down on a girl uses the mint while licking the clit it stimulates and supposedly feels unreal. I've done it a few times and it's never failed. Just need to convince the girl that its safe.
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