FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > So......judgmental much..
So......judgmental much..
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Just met a beautiful girl from here. She is married. She is still with her guy for the sake of her kids. I think that is commendable.
I've decided to post in the late hours so my threads don't get lost in the nonsense. Having said that, most don't seem too bothered to reply to my threads because it's not self serving.
Let me tell you what self serving is. It's seeing a lady smile, it's seeing her twitch as you hold here hand. It's the enjoyment of seeing a glint in her eye as she leads you into the unknown.
Be it for a short time, or a long time I will always admire a lady who has wants, but puts here family above all else.
Yes, I am a guy who meets married ladies, yes I am a guy who meets single ladies and yes I am a guy who meets couples.
Walk one hour, just one hour in someone else's shoes. Then think about what you say on you're profile and maybe take a step back.
We can all write about what we want from here. But maybe, ever so often, we should consider what other people want and bow down to their desires. For their desires are as equally warranted as our own desires are.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ppl have there own reasons for staying with partners but staying for sake of kids is not the right choice kids grow up and leave what happens then ur stuck wit ur partner too late to leave then as i was that v same person i was goin to stay for sake of kids but glad i didnt now best thing i done for my kids was to leave as they have 2 happy parents who now get along well thats just my story  |
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"Ppl have there own reasons for staying with partners but staying for sake of kids is not the right choice kids grow up and leave what happens then ur stuck wit ur partner too late to leave then as i was that v same person i was goin to stay for sake of kids but glad i didnt now best thing i done for my kids was to leave as they have 2 happy parents who now get along well thats just my story "
I have to agree with you Busty Blondie I stayed for the sake off the kids for around 13 years and remained faithful the whole time too. I definitely feel at times life has passed me bye. Staying is all to often the easy option at the time. Though once the kids where into their teenage years one off to Uni I finally took the leap and said this isn't working. It actually turned out to be the easy option. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I definitely dont think its commendable to stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the kids. Its cowardly. "
Totally agree
I reared both my children alone and left unhealthy relationships
It was very difficult, but my children had a consistent upbringing rather than being brought up in a home that's is full of tension and unhappiness
Some people stay for selfish reasons , usually economic or status, or fear of being alone !
Commendable NOT !
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So u went eith a married lady and then post all about her situation all over a public forum for people to judge on her it jaysis thats very discreet and respectful of u (not) the poor lady prob reading this now and wondering WTF.   |
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I think me and my ex tried that but be both drifted even more apart that my youngest daughter could witness. We now get on better apart and our daughter knows that we both love her.
I get on well with both my exes I have children with I think it's important to have that for the kids sake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just met a beautiful girl from here. She is married. She is still with her guy for the sake of her kids. I think that is commendable.
I've decided to post in the late hours so my threads don't get lost in the nonsense. Having said that, most don't seem too bothered to reply to my threads because it's not self serving.
Let me tell you what self serving is. It's seeing a lady smile, it's seeing her twitch as you hold here hand. It's the enjoyment of seeing a glint in her eye as she leads you into the unknown.
Be it for a short time, or a long time I will always admire a lady who has wants, but puts here family above all else.
Yes, I am a guy who meets married ladies, yes I am a guy who meets single ladies and yes I am a guy who meets couples.
Walk one hour, just one hour in someone else's shoes. Then think about what you say on you're profile and maybe take a step back.
We can all write about what we want from here. But maybe, ever so often, we should consider what other people want and bow down to their desires. For their desires are as equally warranted as our own desires are.
"
you been on the shandies willow? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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staying 4 the kids sake is not right.cant get around that o i cant leave because of the kids.loads of ladys got up and went brought the kids.and they lived a happer and healthy life.and yes in the end both parents get on better and kids ar happy. |
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By *razy-CplCouple
over a year ago
and surrounding areas |
"So u went eith a married lady and then post all about her situation all over a public forum for people to judge on her it jaysis thats very discreet and respectful of u (not) the poor lady prob reading this now and wondering WTF. "
totally agree,total lack of respect , this lady does not deserve to be judged on a public fourm and shame on u for bringing it into the public fourm 
mr crazy |
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Judgment is inevitable - is this person someone one i want to play with is a question everyone here grapples with. And its perfectly fine. If someone doesn't want to meet married people 'playing away' thats their choice. Its not a negative judgment its an active choice about what works for them.
The only person engaging in judgment is you - why are you concerned about others choices? Its no impact on you. Its none of your business. Its simple judgment. Cliche ridden and self-serving im better than you tosh. |
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By *al2001Man
over a year ago
kildare |
Personally i think it is admirable to stay in a relationship for the kids. I was more than willing to but it wasn't my choice in the end
while i can see the sense in what has been said in the thread i just wonder if the women who posted would have left the relationship if the husband automatically got custody?
As for the op, you only know what she told you,you have no idea about the real story of her marriage |
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"Just met a beautiful girl from here. She is married. She is still with her guy for the sake of her kids. I think that is commendable.
I've decided to post in the late hours so my threads don't get lost in the nonsense. Having said that, most don't seem too bothered to reply to my threads because it's not self serving.
Let me tell you what self serving is. It's seeing a lady smile, it's seeing her twitch as you hold here hand. It's the enjoyment of seeing a glint in her eye as she leads you into the unknown.
Be it for a short time, or a long time I will always admire a lady who has wants, but puts here family above all else.
Yes, I am a guy who meets married ladies, yes I am a guy who meets single ladies and yes I am a guy who meets couples.
Walk one hour, just one hour in someone else's shoes. Then think about what you say on you're profile and maybe take a step back.
We can all write about what we want from here. But maybe, ever so often, we should consider what other people want and bow down to their desires. For their desires are as equally warranted as our own desires are.
"
Ever think about walking one mile in her husbands shoes ? As others have said before, you only have her story and there's two sides ( at least) to everyone's tale.
With respect it sounds like you're looking at the episode through rose tinted glasses to justify the situation. Ever think how "commendable" it will be if she gets rumbled and hubby tells the children ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally i think it is admirable to stay in a relationship for the kids. I was more than willing to but it wasn't my choice in the end
while i can see the sense in what has been said in the thread i just wonder if the women who posted would have left the relationship if the husband automatically got custody?
As for the op, you only know what she told you,you have no idea about the real story of her marriage"
To answer ur question hal my marraige broke up in a country that the fathers got custody so to your question makes no diffrence i still left and got my kids after 2 yrs so makes no diffrence if ur unhappy leave no excuses |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Live and let live. Not our business who anyone else chooses to meet or not meet. Only person we are answerable is ourselves. Whatever choices we make is up to each of us as an individual, as we are the ones who have to live with those choices. Are we effected by other peoples choices on here????only if we choose to be. I'm sure each of us have enough worries and problems of our own to be dealing with besides putting others under our scrutiny also. If however u are one of the rare souls who has no worries no problems and no issues, go knock urself out, by the time u have finished examining everyone elses lifes im sure that ur own will have gone to shit from neglect.
Personally i try to ignore the chip on everyone elses shoulder and take care of the plank on my own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whatever makes you happy. If you're happy with this woman, and she's happy with you, that's what matters. You shouldn't feel the need to justify it to fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just met a beautiful girl from here. She is married. She is still with her guy for the sake of her kids. I think that is commendable.
I've decided to post in the late hours so my threads don't get lost in the nonsense. Having said that, most don't seem too bothered to reply to my threads because it's not self serving.
Let me tell you what self serving is. It's seeing a lady smile, it's seeing her twitch as you hold here hand. It's the enjoyment of seeing a glint in her eye as she leads you into the unknown.
Be it for a short time, or a long time I will always admire a lady who has wants, but puts here family above all else.
Yes, I am a guy who meets married ladies, yes I am a guy who meets single ladies and yes I am a guy who meets couples.
Walk one hour, just one hour in someone else's shoes. Then think about what you say on you're profile and maybe take a step back.
We can all write about what we want from here. But maybe, ever so often, we should consider what other people want and bow down to their desires. For their desires are as equally warranted as our own desires are.
"
If you like the woman so much, why don't you step up and be responsible for her children? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whats admirable about living a lie and sneaking around behind your husbands back? Thats not exactly being a great role model for your children. "
So both you comments are extremely harsh and pretty nasty and they fit my life to a T but I 100% agree you.I am a coward because I cannot walk out that door with my kids and their possessions under my arm.I am a cheater because he doesn't know what I am doing and I certainly would not let my children know as that is nothing to be proud of.you are right on all counts. HOWEVER you do not know what goes on behind closed doors and you have an awful cheek to assume that all marriages and relationships are that disposable. There is a lot of guilt in what I do here and I am willing to take that on my shoulders for numerous reasons. The op is right.walk in someone else's shoes before making a ridiculous comment like "cowardly". You left your relationships because you could.did you ever consider that its not that easy for some people to just walk!!! |
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We'll good on u I meet married ladies cos I'm married n know what it's like not to have fun .Were all on here to have fun fun but I've met a few messers on here to ,don't know what they get out of teasing u into believing ur going toeet them n then just vanish |
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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago
otherside of nowhere |
For us fab is a escape from reality so have zero interest in why anyone is here..... But I would never presume that I knew it was right for ppl to stay or go in a unhappy marriage its never black or white |
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"We'll good on u I meet married ladies cos I'm married n know what it's like not to have fun .Were all on here to have fun fun but I've met a few messers on here to ,don't know what they get out of teasing u into believing ur going toeet them n then just vanish "
Why don't you ask your wife what she gets out of living with a liar? See if she thinks it's all "fun fun fun" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To add my opinion to this if I may as a single,childless ole git.A marriage is supposed to be,among other things,a faithful relationship.Obviously this will be tested to extremes from time to time and the inner strength summoned to resist temptation only strenghten the bond.Medical testing has proven by brain and chemical response in the body that romantic love lasts about 4 yrs, after that a relationship builds on respect,care,support for each other and many other things,then in later yrs after the children have flown the nest and each partner is at a bit of a loss for a few yrs,especially the mother.It takes effort to build on the couples new relationship,as individuals and as a couple.This time around though the two have so much more to go forward with,having raised a family and been thru thick and thin together each partner knows a lot more about the person they are looking at and sharing a life with,their strengths and weakness.
In my experience,heavy flirting with a married person can be a great form of escapism for that married person,knowing the boundries is an art form in itself,taking it beyond into the realm of physical sexual relations is weak an shows a lack of character on the part of both.I have been the single who is a heavy flirter and still am actually,it's great fun and we talk about it when it gets too much for either one of us to handle or I am in a relationship and we take a break for years.It strengthens her relationship and makes me a better man to push my limits of self control and desist.If the OP were to follow this path in the future he would be a better person as would the wife of another man he is sleeping with,they both have at this point lost the chance of enlightenment on this occasion,sadly,if he was to be a true friend to her he would help her,maybe by finding her some marriage guidance instead of being a bit of escapism for a woman in a troubled relationship and thinking through his dick. |
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"Just met a beautiful girl from here. She is married. She is still with her guy for the sake of her kids. I think that is commendable.
I've decided to post in the late hours so my threads don't get lost in the nonsense. Having said that, most don't seem too bothered to reply to my threads because it's not self serving.
Let me tell you what self serving is. It's seeing a lady smile, it's seeing her twitch as you hold here hand. It's the enjoyment of seeing a glint in her eye as she leads you into the unknown.
Be it for a short time, or a long time I will always admire a lady who has wants, but puts here family above all else.
Yes, I am a guy who meets married ladies, yes I am a guy who meets single ladies and yes I am a guy who meets couples.
Walk one hour, just one hour in someone else's shoes. Then think about what you say on you're profile and maybe take a step back.
We can all write about what we want from here. But maybe, ever so often, we should consider what other people want and bow down to their desires. For their desires are as equally warranted as our own desires are.
"
Lot's of Irish people stay in relationships for the kids, if it's right or wrong I don't think it's for other people to judge.
Sounds like the pair of you had some special moments, that's what life should be all about  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Judgemental much....??In this place haha...never....
 "
Who are we to judge!?....
"Let he has not sinned cast the first stone!!......" 
OUCH!!.... Ok, who threw that!??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Judgemental much....??In this place haha...never....
Who are we to judge!?....
"Let he has not sinned cast the first stone!!......"
OUCH!!.... Ok, who threw that!?? "
What the....fooey are you feeling alright tonight huni |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Judgemental much....??In this place haha...never....
Who are we to judge!?....
"Let he has not sinned cast the first stone!!......"
OUCH!!.... Ok, who threw that!??
What the....fooey are you feeling alright tonight huni "
Dunno Cat, is she a member of the site?   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Judgemental much....??In this place haha...never....
Who are we to judge!?....
"Let he has not sinned cast the first stone!!......"
OUCH!!.... Ok, who threw that!??
What the....fooey are you feeling alright tonight huni
Dunno Cat, is she a member of the site? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't judge anyone when it comes to this
Exactly and others don't know what the exact story of the marriage is."
I totally agree I have not experienced it but I did witness it many times growing up with my friends parents and the short while I spent in their house I could always feel the tension and even at a young age I knew they were not right for each other but they did stay together until the kids had grown up and then they went there separate ways but the kids never wondered where there parents were because they still had a home to go to and now both parents are happy with different partners |
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Well, this post garnered quite a few responses. I'm glad it was, by and large, a reasoned debate. Just a few replies, not aimed at any one in particular.
1. I wasn't d*unk when I wrote the post. I drink very little in fact, for it is a futile exercise from which I get very little enjoyment.
2. I didn't post it for the purpose of seeking attention.
3. The lady in question does neither read nor post on the forums.
4. I fully respect and understand the posts from people who have been in the self same situation.
5. I tend not to engage in the debate I offer up. I prefer to read and take on board peoples opinions.
6. Lastly, I continue to be amazed and humoured at some of the neanderthal replies from the usual (male)suspects who give no thought either to the substance of the post nor the replies that they post.
I shall prepare another thread on a topic of my choosing and post it at 4am some morning and again I will look forward to your reasoned replies. |
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