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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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t s happy hour at the local sports bar, and the cops are waiting just outside the parking lot, ready to catch any unsuspecting d*unk drivers. A man comes stumbling out of the door and heads to his car, clearly d*unk. The police cruiser pulls up beside him and asks him how much he had to drink. He responds in slurred words, Noth mush . The officers request the man to do a breathalyzer test, and he complies. The first test comes back negative, so they try it again. The second test also comes out negative, the officers, now mystified, say they ll have to take him to the station to do a breathalyzer test there, as theirs is clearly broken. The man responds, Oh, that won t be necessary officers". When they ask him why, he replies, Because tonight, I m the Designated Distraction.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mother superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. One nun suggests to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other and one nun says, "He's blind, so he can't see. What could it hurt?" They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mother superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. One nun suggests to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other and one nun says, "He's blind, so he can't see. What could it hurt?" They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?" "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can swap hands without missing a stroke years of practice I bet lol 
Practice makes perfect
I just looked lopsided with my right arm twice the size of my left  "
Pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can swap hands without missing a stroke years of practice I bet lol
Practice makes perfect
I just looked lopsided with my right arm twice the size of my left "
When he can do it without hands you know he has reached master level |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"I can swap hands without missing a stroke years of practice I bet lol
Practice makes perfect
I just looked lopsided with my right arm twice the size of my left :-
When he can do it without hands you know he has reached master level "
Yes u may address me as master |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can swap hands without missing a stroke years of practice I bet lol
Practice makes perfect
I just looked lopsided with my right arm twice the size of my left :-
When he can do it without hands you know he has reached master level
Yes u may address me as master"
Sure yoda |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"I can swap hands without missing a stroke years of practice I bet lol
Practice makes perfect
I just looked lopsided with my right arm twice the size of my left :-
When he can do it without hands you know he has reached master level
Yes u may address me as master
Sure yoda "
Yes little boy is there something u need |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can swap hands without missing a stroke years of practice I bet lol
Practice makes perfect
I just looked lopsided with my right arm twice the size of my left :-
When he can do it without hands you know he has reached master level
Yes u may address me as master
Sure yoda
Yes little boy is there something u need"
Get a room you two lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can swap hands without missing a stroke years of practice I bet lol
Practice makes perfect
I just looked lopsided with my right arm twice the size of my left :-
When he can do it without hands you know he has reached master level
Yes u may address me as master
Sure yoda
Yes little boy is there something u need
Get a room you two lol "
Only if you come too  |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"I can swap hands without missing a stroke years of practice I bet lol
Practice makes perfect
I just looked lopsided with my right arm twice the size of my left :-
When he can do it without hands you know he has reached master level
Yes u may address me as master
Sure yoda
Yes little boy is there something u need
Get a room you two lol "
Mmmm u joining us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."  |
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