FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > When real life dating how long b4 mentioning Swinging?
When real life dating how long b4 mentioning Swinging?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've had experiences were I waited three months and once I mentioned I'd done it and would like to do it as a couple he thought I was a disgusting slut and dumped me. On other hand I've said it from the start a few times and only got asked constantly to organise a threesome! Which is just not understanding the whole idea really. I hate being dishonest and when real life dating always hide my profile here and don't be messing around, but I'm finding it very difficult to find a swinging relationship.
Singles or couples any advice welcome!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dated a guy last year, hid profile and didn't meet. Decided to be honest and told him about swinging. It was like a light switch, his attitude towards me completely changed... For the worse. I ended it and swore I'd never put myself in that position again |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dated a guy last year, hid profile and didn't meet. Decided to be honest and told him about swinging. It was like a light switch, his attitude towards me completely changed... For the worse. I ended it and swore I'd never put myself in that position again "
So do you never mention it or say it from the start? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not sure I'd want to swing while in a relationship so I can't really answer your question.
If or when I meet someone I'd want it to be completely vanilla. I doubt I'll ever tell them about this hobby of mine. My sexual history is nobody else's business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dated a guy last year, hid profile and didn't meet. Decided to be honest and told him about swinging. It was like a light switch, his attitude towards me completely changed... For the worse. I ended it and swore I'd never put myself in that position again
So do you never mention it or say it from the start? "
I haven't dated anyone from 'real life' since tbh but if I ever do again I don't think I'll mention it |
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"I've had experiences were I waited three months and once I mentioned I'd done it and would like to do it as a couple he thought I was a disgusting slut and dumped me. On other hand I've said it from the start a few times and only got asked constantly to organise a threesome! Which is just not understanding the whole idea really. I hate being dishonest and when real life dating always hide my profile here and don't be messing around, but I'm finding it very difficult to find a swinging relationship.
Singles or couples any advice welcome!! "
As early as possible
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not sure I'd want to swing while in a relationship so I can't really answer your question.
If or when I meet someone I'd want it to be completely vanilla. I doubt I'll ever tell them about this hobby of mine. My sexual history is nobody else's business."
See I never want a vanilla relationship again. Defo want a swinging one...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you want to continue with the swinging lifestyle in would mention it in the first month. If u don't want to continue don't mention it its non of their business |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've had experiences were I waited three months and once I mentioned I'd done it and would like to do it as a couple he thought I was a disgusting slut and dumped me. On other hand I've said it from the start a few times and only got asked constantly to organise a threesome! Which is just not understanding the whole idea really. I hate being dishonest and when real life dating always hide my profile here and don't be messing around, but I'm finding it very difficult to find a swinging relationship.
Singles or couples any advice welcome!! As early as possible
"
I find as early as possible they just see me as a sex toy to play with then... It's all they seem to want to talk about etc cos they don't really get the concept. It's such a toughy !!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure I'd want to swing while in a relationship so I can't really answer your question.
If or when I meet someone I'd want it to be completely vanilla. I doubt I'll ever tell them about this hobby of mine. My sexual history is nobody else's business.
See I never want a vanilla relationship again. Defo want a swinging one... "
In that case you probably need to say it as early as possible and if it's not their thing then at least you'll know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure I'd want to swing while in a relationship so I can't really answer your question.
If or when I meet someone I'd want it to be completely vanilla. I doubt I'll ever tell them about this hobby of mine. My sexual history is nobody else's business.
See I never want a vanilla relationship again. Defo want a swinging one... "
I'm not sure after being on here so long that I could ever be happy in a vanilla relationship again... It's a tough one! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We been togethere 8years and i said to him what do u think about swingibg and he jump at the chance and love it that i ask him it depends on the person ur dateing i think "
Yep I suppose it does, just trying to judge what their gonna think is the hard part. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not that i have any experience in this swinging stuff but like most things. . . Does anyone know when they are really happy until they are . . . Or until its lost. . . My bit of advice is live the moment and enjoy the journey and the destination will find itself. . . . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you want to continue swinging, I think it is important to mention this as early as possible to the other person. If you do not want to continue, not necessairrly.
Myself, I would like to find a girl that is into swinging herself, preferably a bisexual gal, so I can continue with the lifestyle. It is not something that I would mention on a first date, however as soon as I feel I am interested in the person a little more seriously I would.
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I'd imagine starting off a real relationship ur gonna need some time for u and him so hide the profile (incase things don't work out) and work on ur relationship ur sexual history is ur own business only devulge in naughty secrets where the situation allows such as dirty talk ect. then when ur relationship is "stable" if swinging is still important to u then introduce it to him ... Lads are always asking "how do I get my wife on board" and the advice does be great (sometimes) talk filthy talk to him plant the seed and watch it grow. Very few men would turn down an opportunity to fuck around with alongside their Mrs so why not enjoy it together if the situation allows. But remember to start a new profile with himself ur past is ur past so ur old profile should stay well hidden and unused if u decide to build a future with the new guy. You never know with all the dirty talk and future planning if the relationship builds strongly u might find the courage to tell him about fab knowing him well enough that u can gage his reaction.
My personal opinion anyway x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just recently had my first proper date with a girl. Before we met, I told her to be careful if she wanted more than just dating, cause I'm unconventional when it comes to love. She asked me how so, to which I answered that I'm active on the swingers scene and that I don't believe in monogamy.
I'm happy I told her this early. She revealed she believes in polyamory, is bi, and been doing BDSM for 14 years.
If I had not told her, I'd risk building a connection with her based on a lie. A lie that in the end would probably have ended up hurting her, and possibly myself. Not only am I incapable of lying convincingly, I gain more by being honest.
And as it looks now, things might turn serious with this girl (in a good way)! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just recently had my first proper date with a girl. Before we met, I told her to be careful if she wanted more than just dating, cause I'm unconventional when it comes to love. She asked me how so, to which I answered that I'm active on the swingers scene and that I don't believe in monogamy.
I'm happy I told her this early. She revealed she believes in polyamory, is bi, and been doing BDSM for 14 years.
If I had not told her, I'd risk building a connection with her based on a lie. A lie that in the end would probably have ended up hurting her, and possibly myself. Not only am I incapable of lying convincingly, I gain more by being honest.
And as it looks now, things might turn serious with this girl (in a good way)!"
And that good sir. Is the definition of #winning / who dares wins. Ha |
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My bf of 5 month s asked me what did I think bout swinging and wud I be up for it I agreed and he found us this site he is now my ex I would have him back in morning but he said he couldn't trust me I never played with guys from couples just female . It fucked us up and I'm now addicted ..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just recently had my first proper date with a girl. Before we met, I told her to be careful if she wanted more than just dating, cause I'm unconventional when it comes to love. She asked me how so, to which I answered that I'm active on the swingers scene and that I don't believe in monogamy.
I'm happy I told her this early. She revealed she believes in polyamory, is bi, and been doing BDSM for 14 years.
If I had not told her, I'd risk building a connection with her based on a lie. A lie that in the end would probably have ended up hurting her, and possibly myself. Not only am I incapable of lying convincingly, I gain more by being honest.
And as it looks now, things might turn serious with this girl (in a good way)!"
Well done!! I'd be the same. All for honesty. Cant live a lie! Enjoy each other! |
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The reality for single people of what swinging really is, kicks in when they become part of a couple. Sometimes it good, most times it's a disaster.
To answer OP's question, if you see yourself swinging forever, tell him straight away and you'll get the answer then.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you want a relationship that involves swinging then maybe tell him as soon as possible, you dont have to divulge your entire swing history, maybe drop hints that it's something your interested in and guage his reaction from there. Any guys I chatted to on "dating" sites were mad for threesomes and private parties as soon as I mentioned being a swinger. It's a tough one, but after afew dates you should be able to tell if he's worth telling or not. Best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone ever hear of relationships forming off here?? "
Yeah lots of them form on here but very few last because of trust and jealousy issues. Generally the ones that keep single profiles despite being "exclusive" are the ones that end in tears. |
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By *razy-CplCouple
over a year ago
and surrounding areas |
"Anyone ever hear of relationships forming off here??
Yeah lots of them form on here but very few last because of trust and jealousy issues. Generally the ones that keep single profiles despite being "exclusive" are the ones that end in tears."
we met off a swing site , and almost 2 and half yrs , we still together and living together too , we dont have trust or jeslousy issues as we only play together and dont have single profiles , we enjoy the swing scene but its not all about swinging for us 
mrs crazy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the generalisation that every guy is going to think it's brilliant is risky. I don't date but I remember telling one perfectly nice guy that I wasn't interested in doing the married with kids thing ever again and he switched immediately to "ok so I can just fuck you with no effort" there was no inbetween and that was without mentioning swinging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dunno, I would have thought looking for love here was crazy but if swinging is going to continue in your life then maybe it's easier to start with another swinger. The problem is, some 'swingers' suddenly want to be exclusive when someone new enters their life, this will always lead to conflict as in some ways, it's a swizz.
"I love you, now change"...
Best of luck OP. |
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"Not sure I'd want to swing while in a relationship so I can't really answer your question.
If or when I meet someone I'd want it to be completely vanilla. I doubt I'll ever tell them about this hobby of mine. My sexual history is nobody else's business."
That's a good point.. it may be almost impossible to mix the two.
I think if ur a vanilla couple..trying to introduce swinging is a car crash waiting to happen.. I think for someone whose never swung as soon as you mention swinging..they thing ur out there riding everything..having sex morning noon n night and can't be trusted.
If you want to swing as a couple.. meet a single swinger..get on..become a couple and swing 
Obviously there are always exceptions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Took 10 years of marriage before we spoke about it.
I knew Mick would be interested and my sex drive is bloody ridiculous now.
Rough subject at the start but wow was it worth it.
I get to live out all my bisexual fantasies and Mick well he gets to enjoy hot sex with 2 horny women lol
Everyones a winner lol
Steph xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not sure I'd want to swing while in a relationship so I can't really answer your question.
If or when I meet someone I'd want it to be completely vanilla. I doubt I'll ever tell them about this hobby of mine. My sexual history is nobody else's business.
That's a good point.. it may be almost impossible to mix the two.
I think if ur a vanilla couple..trying to introduce swinging is a car crash waiting to happen.. I think for someone whose never swung as soon as you mention swinging..they thing ur out there riding everything..having sex morning noon n night and can't be trusted.
If you want to swing as a couple.. meet a single swinger..get on..become a couple and swing
Obviously there are always exceptions."
Wish it was that easy!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the generalisation that every guy is going to think it's brilliant is risky. I don't date but I remember telling one perfectly nice guy that I wasn't interested in doing the married with kids thing ever again and he switched immediately to "ok so I can just fuck you with no effort" there was no inbetween and that was without mentioning swinging"
Story of my life!!! Lol its defo the most popular reaction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My last relationship we were both very upfront chatting before we even met. Heknew i was actively involved with bdsm and i knew he was into swinging. What could have been a mistake for us was swinging straight away without giving us time as a couple but in a way we finished due to swinging. Others may have better luck but openness in our case was good in a way and bad in others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I 100% get you about the change in attitude once they find out your 'hobby'.
It's the irony of it all really, isn't it. Men completely desire a filthy sexual minx, but when it comes to any sort of serious relationship it's all 'will she be a good wifey' and 'oh no, I wouldn't want her out doing that sort of thing'.
Screw that. The answer is I'd make a great little wifey and remain a complete sexual deviant.
I suppose it comes back to when you find someone who can accept that you can be both - hauld on to them! |
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"My last relationship we were both very upfront chatting before we even met. Heknew i was actively involved with bdsm and i knew he was into swinging. What could have been a mistake for us was swinging straight away without giving us time as a couple but in a way we finished due to swinging. Others may have better luck but openness in our case was good in a way and bad in others."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I 100% get you about the change in attitude once they find out your 'hobby'.
It's the irony of it all really, isn't it. Men completely desire a filthy sexual minx, but when it comes to any sort of serious relationship it's all 'will she be a good wifey' and 'oh no, I wouldn't want her out doing that sort of thing'.
Screw that. The answer is I'd make a great little wifey and remain a complete sexual deviant.
I suppose it comes back to when you find someone who can accept that you can be both - hauld on to them!"
It boils down to men being too insecure in themselves to handle women like us who know what we want! I know there are exceptions out there but WHERE ARE THEY?!? |
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"I 100% get you about the change in attitude once they find out your 'hobby'.
It's the irony of it all really, isn't it. Men completely desire a filthy sexual minx, but when it comes to any sort of serious relationship it's all 'will she be a good wifey' and 'oh no, I wouldn't want her out doing that sort of thing'.
Screw that. The answer is I'd make a great little wifey and remain a complete sexual deviant.
I suppose it comes back to when you find someone who can accept that you can be both - hauld on to them!
It boils down to men being too insecure in themselves to handle women like us who know what we want! I know there are exceptions out there but WHERE ARE THEY?!? "
Right here.
Right now i'm not sure if I want, or even have time for a relationship. But if/when i do the fact that I already know she's into swinging would be a big bonus.
We swung in my last relationship, and while it was a lot of fun, it may have happened too early. I get very eager about it when im in a swinging relationship , so I learned some lessons from it.
to sum up.
Do I want a relationship right now? maybe.
Do I want it to be swinging?
Yes. |
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We'll I met a woman n she introduced me to fab thought all my dreams were going to cum true but she took her ex back who was not into swinging n I was broken hearted .We were both on d same plane both into most things n wanted to explore our inhibitions but ended as it started .Now I'm enjoying a nice young lady which I might get to enjoy our fantasies together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here is just some fun for me! If and when I get a serious gf I wouldn't like to be in a swinging relationship with her
You've told us all this before snickers"
just comminting on this particular thread! I said it yesterday on a diff thread to a diff person! Dunno why it affected a few people so much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had bf who I met here. I was his first and last meet here.  since we start hang out I didn't meet anyone from fab, but still came online for chats..but he non stop was so jealous and didn't trust/believe I'm not meeting anyone..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure I'd want to swing while in a relationship so I can't really answer your question.
If or when I meet someone I'd want it to be completely vanilla. I doubt I'll ever tell them about this hobby of mine. My sexual history is nobody else's business."
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure I'd want to swing while in a relationship so I can't really answer your question.
If or when I meet someone I'd want it to be completely vanilla. I doubt I'll ever tell them about this hobby of mine. My sexual history is nobody else's business.
See I never want a vanilla relationship again. Defo want a swinging one... "
You kinda have answered your own question, you have to say it early and depending on his reaction take it from there , he may think of you as a sec toy then dump or move on, and he may ask lots and be curious and respectful and blossom from there
It's not easy I know and I would think if the first question u were asked is many have u fucked then move on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not sure I'd want to swing while in a relationship so I can't really answer your question.
If or when I meet someone I'd want it to be completely vanilla. I doubt I'll ever tell them about this hobby of mine. My sexual history is nobody else's business.
See I never want a vanilla relationship again. Defo want a swinging one...
You kinda have answered your own question, you have to say it early and depending on his reaction take it from there , he may think of you as a sec toy then dump or move on, and he may ask lots and be curious and respectful and blossom from there
It's not easy I know and I would think if the first question u were asked is many have u fucked then move on"
Yeah I'd decided that myself defo best to be honest from the start. New years resolution is no dating though! Sick of the bullshit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been seeing a lady for about 2 months and have tried to bring up swinging but she is not interested. Now I don't mention it. But I haven't met anyone since we got together, this is just for chatting and making new friends. I was thinking about deleting my profile and enjoying what we have for as long as it lasts. |
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"I dated a lady off another site n we were on fire n she introduced me to swinging n never looked back . I'm afraid she's gone she broke my hearth "
You really loved that fireplace didn't you ? Lol |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"I dated a lady off another site n we were on fire n she introduced me to swinging n never looked back . I'm afraid she's gone she broke my hearth
You really loved that fireplace didn't you ? Lol"
it must have been some fireplace thats twice he mentioned her wrecking it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dated a lady off another site n we were on fire n she introduced me to swinging n never looked back . I'm afraid she's gone she broke my hearth
You really loved that fireplace didn't you ? Lol
it must have been some fireplace thats twice he mentioned her wrecking it "
Lmao  I'm weak!!!! |
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