FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > confidence blow
confidence blow
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Iv recently changed my profile pic to me wearing a suit.since then iv been contacted by a few ladies with messages such as "wow your hoy" and "how have i not noticed you before"
Then when they see a face pic i get the same response.."sorry not my type"
Should i change my profile pic as its missleading??
Just curious |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
your profile is your profile you have it set up as you wish if some women are not interested in you after your face pic just dust yourself down and keep going let me assure you that i'm not oil painting and it happens to me too and i wouldnt change myself even if i could ( well a 6 pack would be nice )
just remember there will always be someone who finds you attractive |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know what you mean,dont get me wrong i wouldnt loose any sleep over it,i just feel like im falsely advertising myself?
Its just a bit embarassing really....but its not just me then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There no better place than a swing site too give you thick skin. your never going to be everyones cup of tea. Get used too rejection and use the motto NEXT  |
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Not just you, if I had a meet with everyone who said "you're not my type" after seeing my face pic, I'd have the biggest orgy imaginable.
The rejection can damage the ego alright but that just makes the successful meets all the sweeter.
Keep at it, we can't be everyone's type! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just try and build a rapor, its hard I know but its abou building a connection, try and take a few more face pics maybe, we all have a bad face pic at times, feel your pain |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Iv no issue at all with not beeing everyones cup of tea,its just when a woman contacts you and then does a u turn its a bit embarassing and its every time....
So if i changed my profile pic would that rule this problem out i wonder,spare the awkward exchange |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its good to have a pic that brings in attention, you have to start some where, and so the chat gets flowing, just try and get a feel for them, and they will have a feel for you, just keep positive  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its good to have a pic that brings in attention, you have to start some where, and so the chat gets flowing, just try and get a feel for them, and they will have a feel for you, just keep positive "
Cheers filthy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know it doesn't seem fair, whats worse is when they block, what I usualy find is you might not be there type initialy, but they do come back because they realise what else is on the site, look at the amount that don't even have pics, they then realise what the site is filled with, and building a neutral bond with the conversation is where to start |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh i agree with you but shouldnt that work both ways?
Shouldnt these women reply with something like"nice talking to you,chat later"
Rather than "not my type"
They are then ending the conversation based on looks and have no intrest talking to ye..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know that seems really harsh, theres no easy answer to it really, just try and build a good rapor as much as you can, being aren't normaly soo blunt after the rapor has been built |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know that seems really harsh, theres no easy answer to it really, just try and build a good rapor as much as you can, being aren't normaly soo blunt after the rapor has been built"
If you build it...they will come! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Remember it's a two way street. They may not be your type either.
If you are lucky enough for people to contacting you, no way should you change your profile picture. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just keep your head up, and keep networking, least you have a really good network source in Ireland with the forums, its very different for us in the uk, I would say harder |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have a lot of tattoos so public pics arent really an option....im happy with how its goin iv met some nice people.
Its just since i changed my profiler that this has happend.but hey as you said just move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You look lovely and don't change anything for anyone on here.
Just be yourself and its their loss.  "
It clearly not their loss as they've rejected HIM (that's a cliché, "It's their loss" not in this context/situation its not their loss.
We've all been through this pal, from what I've seen from you so far you seem lovely.
We've all been through the "Not my type" replies but you're right a simple "nice chatting anyway" mail wouldn't go astray 
Try sending one of the ladies here in forum a few of your face pics and they'll give you advise as to maybe which one to send out in future maybe??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've face photos here and I've showed over coffee to some of the girls and they're like "no... never send that one" / "you have to send that one" etc lol
It could just be the pic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My face pics ..i thought..were a constant source of heartache for me op..but after a while I gave up trying to take new ones..but now I've come to realise...i simply wasn't 'their type'...and have goid friends and regular playmates who do like the cut of my job...so stick at it...and there are some new friends in the making out there as well....whoooo.hoooo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My face pics ..i thought..were a constant source of heartache for me op..but after a while I gave up trying to take new ones..but now I've come to realise...i simply wasn't 'their type'...and have goid friends and regular playmates who do like the cut of my job...so stick at it...and there are some new friends in the making out there as well....whoooo.hoooo"
*jib |
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"Op your profile pic is lovely. "
But its not his profile pic that's the problem....the problem, like so many of us blokes is that initial interest is scuppered as soon as a face pic is shown. As somone said earlier you need a thick skin round here. If I took every rejection I got here seriously I'd be suicidal.
It may not be a popular opinion round here but in general people are shallow. On a swing site that's magnified as sadly first physical impressions count. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some great advice guys,just want to add that this was in no way looking for sympathy or an ego boost.....
Im thinking im gona keep my face pics to myself untill iv chatted to someone for a while...maybe thats the way to go.
Trial and error |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And op look on the brighside it profile pic is hot I've a thing for suits anyway.
And you have had a meet also in your short time your here.
"
yeah a meet on first 2 months lucky guy. six years and still a Virgin |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck "
The suit is a once off kinda thing so its not how id normaly look so could that be missleading?
No iv no tattoos near my face |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck
The suit is a once off kinda thing so its not how id normaly look so could that be missleading?
No iv no tattoos near my face"
Yeah, profile pic is all good. I think I might get a suit pic on here. I'm pretty sure it's happened to the vast majority of men on here. I wouldn't worry about it. At least you got a meet!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You cannot please everyone on here and some are so shallow as well and think they ate gods gift when clearly they are not. Theres confident and theres cocky.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck
The suit is a once off kinda thing so its not how id normaly look so could that be missleading?
No iv no tattoos near my face
Yeah, profile pic is all good. I think I might get a suit pic on here. I'm pretty sure it's happened to the vast majority of men on here. I wouldn't worry about it. At least you got a meet!!!"
Cant go wrong with a suit...just make sure you get one that matches your face haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some great advice given as always, you aren't misleading anyone wth your profile pic.You are who you are tatoos and all and if your not for everyone you will be for someone.Best of luck to you.Ps you look dam fine in that suit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck
The suit is a once off kinda thing so its not how id normaly look so could that be missleading?
No iv no tattoos near my face
Yeah, profile pic is all good. I think I might get a suit pic on here. I'm pretty sure it's happened to the vast majority of men on here. I wouldn't worry about it. At least you got a meet!!!
Cant go wrong with a suit...just make sure you get one that matches your face haha"
Not sure that's possible, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck
The suit is a once off kinda thing so its not how id normaly look so could that be missleading?
No iv no tattoos near my face"
Lots of women's profile pics are of them skimpily dressed or in sexy undies. I'm pretty sure most of us don't go out dressed the same (on the outside) Is THAT misleading? I wouldn't have thought so. |
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"Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck
The suit is a once off kinda thing so its not how id normaly look so could that be missleading?
No iv no tattoos near my faceLots of women's profile pics are of them skimpily dressed or in sexy undies. I'm pretty sure most of us don't go out dressed the same (on the outside) Is THAT misleading? I wouldn't have thought so. "
hotshell you have a point I don't work round in my profile pic all the time so men in suits is pretty more every day where than what my pictures are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck
The suit is a once off kinda thing so its not how id normaly look so could that be missleading?
No iv no tattoos near my faceLots of women's profile pics are of them skimpily dressed or in sexy undies. I'm pretty sure most of us don't go out dressed the same (on the outside) Is THAT misleading? I wouldn't have thought so. hotshell you have a point I don't work round in my profile pic all the time so men in suits is pretty more every day where than what my pictures are "
Exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck
The suit is a once off kinda thing so its not how id normaly look so could that be missleading?
No iv no tattoos near my faceLots of women's profile pics are of them skimpily dressed or in sexy undies. I'm pretty sure most of us don't go out dressed the same (on the outside) Is THAT misleading? I wouldn't have thought so. "
Exactly this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen this lad, he's a fine man... my advice was to not look so serious in his photo (face)
Some of us aren't so lucky though. It's a wonder I get any meets at all! "
You're just fishing for compliments....ya ride |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen this lad, he's a fine man... my advice was to not look so serious in his photo (face)
Some of us aren't so lucky though. It's a wonder I get any meets at all!
You're just fishing for compliments....ya ride "
Yeah you big FEEK yeah
*Urban Dictionary*
Feek = Ride in Galway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck
The suit is a once off kinda thing so its not how id normaly look so could that be missleading?
No iv no tattoos near my face"
Dear OP! You are asking yourself and us if your pic is misleading. It probably is in a way as you just wrote that the suit is not your usual outfit. Think about how you want to portray yourself and what part of you you'd like to share with fellow fabbers. What is it that women would go for if they like you? Stocky build? Tattoos? Then put some muscles and tattoos up as public pics for example. Nothing wrong with the suit btw. I personally like to see more skin!! Maybe you're atracting the wrong women sofar!! All the best! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile pic is lovely, i wouldn't be thinking about changing it. It's you, so how can it be misleading unless it's years old (I'm not saying it is). You say you have tattoos..........any on or near your face? That might put some people off, but there will be others who won't mind at all. Good luck
The suit is a once off kinda thing so its not how id normaly look so could that be missleading?
No iv no tattoos near my face Dear OP! You are asking yourself and us if your pic is misleading. It probably is in a way as you just wrote that the suit is not your usual outfit. Think about how you want to portray yourself and what part of you you'd like to share with fellow fabbers. What is it that women would go for if they like you? Stocky build? Tattoos? Then put some muscles and tattoos up as public pics for example. Nothing wrong with the suit btw. I personally like to see more skin!! Maybe you're atracting the wrong women sofar!! All the best!"
The thing is i have a lot of tattoos so if i wer to post the pics your suggesting then i might aswell put my face pic public. Which certainly isnt going to happen haha |
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"I've seen this lad, he's a fine man... my advice was to not look so serious in his photo (face)
Some of us aren't so lucky though. It's a wonder I get any meets at all!
You're just fishing for compliments....ya ride "
Ah would ya go on.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"your profile is your profile you have it set up as you wish if some women are not interested in you after your face pic just dust yourself down and keep going let me assure you that i'm not oil painting and it happens to me too and i wouldnt change myself even if i could ( well a 6 pack would be nice )
just remember there will always be someone who finds you attractive "
The six pack you mean beer?after six beers everyone is gorgeous |
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By *ean0001Man
over a year ago
Dublin West |
Skin like a rhino sometimes needed in here. Have also been turned down on my face pic many times, have been told i not chunky enough and one girl didnt like the colour of my hair and have not heard from her since.
But hey thats life in the big bad world so you just got to roll with it sometimes and hope for the best.
Those moments when your paths cross later at a meet and greet or something and you are told that you look better / younger in the flesh make it all worthwile.
If you getting emails at all you doing better than most guys. |
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OP don't let the turn down's put you off. We have been swinging years on various sites. We have been turned down more times than I care to admit. Just take it all with a pinch of salt. Beauty to one is not beauty to another xx |
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"Some great advice given as always, you aren't misleading anyone wth your profile pic.You are who you are tatoos and all and if your not for everyone you will be for someone.Best of luck to you.Ps you look dam fine in that suit"
I agree with goldie....I imagine we all put up a flattering pic as our profile pic and I certainly don't be dressed as my avatar on a daily basis lol.i take an awful face pic  I rarely even give it to anyone before a coffee meet. . They can go by my veris.. What do you have to lose over a cup of coffee. Get to the m&gs as this is a good way to get known to people. Keep your chin up hun
 :p |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some great advice given as always, you aren't misleading anyone wth your profile pic.You are who you are tatoos and all and if your not for everyone you will be for someone.Best of luck to you.Ps you look dam fine in that suit
I agree with goldie....I imagine we all put up a flattering pic as our profile pic and I certainly don't be dressed as my avatar on a daily basis lol.i take an awful face pic I rarely even give it to anyone before a coffee meet. . They can go by my veris.. What do you have to lose over a cup of coffee. Get to the m&gs as this is a good way to get known to people. Keep your chin up hun. Oh ms Ss u sell yourself do short but wise words indeed always sage like advice
:p "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always feel the need to put a disclaimer on my photos because my friends have told me I take a good picture and that I'm very photogenic... It is kinda true in one respect, for some reason photos make me look thinner too!! Hate the idea of misleading advertising ha ha  |
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"Some great advice given as always, you aren't misleading anyone wth your profile pic.You are who you are tatoos and all and if your not for everyone you will be for someone.Best of luck to you.Ps you look dam fine in that suit
I agree with goldie....I imagine we all put up a flattering pic as our profile pic and I certainly don't be dressed as my avatar on a daily basis lol.i take an awful face pic I rarely even give it to anyone before a coffee meet. . They can go by my veris.. What do you have to lose over a cup of coffee. Get to the m&gs as this is a good way to get known to people. Keep your chin up hun. Oh ms Ss u sell yourself do short but wise words indeed always sage like advice
:p "
aaw Thank you but honestly my face pics are always under either duress or the Influence. . Neither good! You've met me! I will send you my fave pic now and you can see how accurate it is! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You look lovely and don't change anything for anyone on here.
Just be yourself and its their loss. "
Well said Katie. You are who you are and don't let anyone shake your confidence here or elsewhere for that matter. Stay strong  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"your profile is your profile you have it set up as you wish if some women are not interested in you after your face pic just dust yourself down and keep going let me assure you that i'm not oil painting and it happens to me too and i wouldnt change myself even if i could ( well a 6 pack would be nice )
just remember there will always be someone who finds you attractive
The six pack you mean beer?after six beers everyone is gorgeous "
Ha, true though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always feel the need to put a disclaimer on my photos because my friends have told me I take a good picture and that I'm very photogenic... It is kinda true in one respect, for some reason photos make me look thinner too!! Hate the idea of misleading advertising ha ha "
Aren't you the lucky one, love your profile picture as it goes |
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