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Real swinger or here for a good time but a long time ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The other post about being single or attached inspired me to post this ..
How many single guys here are true swingers ?
As in ... if you do meet someone either here or in the vanilla world and have feelings compelling you to want more with that particular person ..do you
A) tell them your a swinger (if they don't already know ) and start into the lifestyle with them
B). Stop as you can't imagining sharing this person with anyone else
I have a feeling that lots of single guys here are not real swingers (no judgement in that statement )
They are here to have fun in a safe sexually open environment .
Thoughts please ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am here to have some fun and explore aspects of sex not possible in most conventional relationships - but curious to know - do you consider that someone can be a temporary swinger, maybe for a particular phase in their lives? Or is your definition of a swinger someone who is committed to the lifestyle forever. Just curious |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am here to have some fun and explore aspects of sex not possible in most conventional relationships - but curious to know - do you consider that someone can be a temporary swinger, maybe for a particular phase in their lives? Or is your definition of a swinger someone who is committed to the lifestyle forever. Just curious"
I definitely think swingers can take breaks and do monogamy.
Swinging I think is more than the self gratification , it's about getting off on watching and sharing your partner.
I think to be 'committed to the lifestyle' involves a certain kink
, that I feel if neglected may cause a 'swinger' to feel uneasy in a typical vanilla relationship . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cannot speak for others, however I always believed that monogamy is an effect of hundreds of years of Christian indoctrination. We are not born in that way.
I hope to be lucky enough to meet a girl that will tick most of the boxes and she would have to tick the 'swinging' box as well. And yes, I am a big fan of mfm, so this is something that I am hoping to continue after I get attached. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Cannot speak for others, however I always believed that monogamy is an effect of hundreds of years of Christian indoctrination. We are not born in that way.
I hope to be lucky enough to meet a girl that will tick most of the boxes and she would have to tick the 'swinging' box as well. And yes, I am a big fan of mfm, so this is something that I am hoping to continue after I get attached. "
That's good to hear  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am here to have some fun and explore aspects of sex not possible in most conventional relationships - but curious to know - do you consider that someone can be a temporary swinger, maybe for a particular phase in their lives? Or is your definition of a swinger someone who is committed to the lifestyle forever. Just curious
I definitely think swingers can take breaks and do monogamy.
Swinging I think is more than the self gratification , it's about getting off on watching and sharing your partner.
I think to be 'committed to the lifestyle' involves a certain kink
, that I feel if neglected may cause a 'swinger' to feel uneasy in a typical vanilla relationship . "
That's a good point - not sure how a monogamous relationship could work after experiencing swinging … could be tough to settle into |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great question. . . . Really i guess i should not comment as i'm new and not as yet "initiated". . But from looking and chatting there is a huge variation of people and their preferences here. (it would be very boring otherwise lol). . As a single guy here what i am seeking is a sort of FB circle of friends without strings or committment type thing if that makes any sense. . . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We believe that single guys cannot be true "swingers"...."swinging" is surely the term given to couples swapping partners with other couples isn't it?... I (keith) used to be on site as a single guy so I think I can say this having experienced both sides! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We believe that single guys cannot be true "swingers"...."swinging" is surely the term given to couples swapping partners with other couples isn't it?... I (keith) used to be on site as a single guy so I think I can say this having experienced both sides!"
Guess you have a point! So what are then?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We believe that single guys cannot be true "swingers"...."swinging" is surely the term given to couples swapping partners with other couples isn't it?... I (keith) used to be on site as a single guy so I think I can say this having experienced both sides!"
so if a couple wants mfm or fmf, they are not swingers because they are not sharing with another couple?
how would you call swingers that are into mfm or fmf or group sex? Are we really excluded from being swingers?
I am fine with being called a humanist, a hedonist, a liberated sexually human being as well.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see myself as a swinger because I won't meet people who don't understand open relationships. I am always honest about what I enjoy. I don't like to be tied down to one person. If that means having regulars or just shagging one after the other it's irrelevant, it's the understanding that if you want to play with someone else it's understood.
I have had offers from vanilla ladies which I have turned down cause I know they won't understand. I have also met people outside of fab who when I explained they said they were ok with it but weren't. So I tend to stick with meeting people on here who know the deal. My preference is to meet single ladies but I'm also open to the right couple but it's easier finding a single lady you can connect with so generally that happens more often. Swinging is all about openness to me |
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"I see myself as a swinger because I won't meet people who don't understand open relationships. I am always honest about what I enjoy. I don't like to be tied down to one person. If that means having regulars or just shagging one after the other it's irrelevant, it's the understanding that if you want to play with someone else it's understood.
I have had offers from vanilla ladies which I have turned down cause I know they won't understand. I have also met people outside of fab who when I explained they said they were ok with it but weren't. So I tend to stick with meeting people on here who know the deal. My preference is to meet single ladies but I'm also open to the right couple but it's easier finding a single lady you can connect with so generally that happens more often. Swinging is all about openness to me "
I agree. . Swinging isn't exclusive. .. It's more about that big connection ... That chemistry and understanding. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I spent nearly 20yrs in relationships where eventually I got bored n strayed this caused alot of hurt n mistrust n inevitably let to painful breakups I love my life now I cum n go as I please have met some fantastic people in this lifestyle n play regularly with my swing partner we both like our independence but click very well as a swinging couple so for me Swinging is now the Lifestyle for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me its al about fun and the social side to it aswell been doing this now five years on and off i just like the excitment really,if im with a lady who is not into swinging yes i would leave.But i kind off would like to meet a girl who is into swinging then i would a stay as a couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We believe that single guys cannot be true "swingers"...."swinging" is surely the term given to couples swapping partners with other couples isn't it?... I (keith) used to be on site as a single guy so I think I can say this having experienced both sides!"
If "you only swing when you're single, swing when you're si-ingle" then no, you're not a swinger. Which is why there appears to be snobbery involved in swinging to said singles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cannot speak for others, however I always believed that monogamy is an effect of hundreds of years of Christian indoctrination. We are not born in that way.
I hope to be lucky enough to meet a girl that will tick most of the boxes and she would have to tick the 'swinging' box as well. And yes, I am a big fan of mfm, so this is something that I am hoping to continue after I get attached. "
(Not criticising) if you are not prone to monogamy then why do you see the need to be "attached" to ONE girl? Even if she swings. It may not be natural human instinct to only be with one person but as humans we do seem to need companionship of some nature. I don't think Ireland is ready for Polyamory. |
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"The other post about being single or attached inspired me to post this ..
How many single guys here are true swingers ?
As in ... if you do meet someone either here or in the vanilla world and have feelings compelling you to want more with that particular person ..do you
A) tell them your a swinger (if they don't already know ) and start into the lifestyle with them
B). Stop as you can't imagining sharing this person with anyone else
I have a feeling that lots of single guys here are not real swingers (no judgement in that statement )
They are here to have fun in a safe sexually open environment .
Thoughts please ... "
I didn't always count myself as a true swinger as i used to only swing when single, Tried it a couple of times with a vanilla girlfriend but didn't work out.
I'm now in a committed relationship with a fellow swinger and looking forward to sharing and having fun together.   |
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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago
otherside of nowhere |
"The other post about being single or attached inspired me to post this ..
How many single guys here are true swingers ?
As in ... if you do meet someone either here or in the vanilla world and have feelings compelling you to want more with that particular person ..do you
A) tell them your a swinger (if they don't already know ) and start into the lifestyle with them
B). Stop as you can't imagining sharing this person with anyone else
I have a feeling that lots of single guys here are not real swingers (no judgement in that statement )
They are here to have fun in a safe sexually open environment .
Thoughts please ... "
Not sure if I should answer this evening part of a cpl but here goes anyway.....I think for most not all male and female the human condition is to find one significant other to bond with I don't think this is society conditioning us I think its more primal... |
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Lot of good comments and debate so far. To me swinging is a state of mind rather than notches on bed posts. An acknowledgment that people in a relationship can be attracted to others and more without reducing the love or attractiveness you have for your partner. I think I'd struggle to go vanilla again, though appreciate that until I'm in that situation I don't know, but I hope to find out! |
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"Lot of good comments and debate so far. To me swinging is a state of mind rather than notches on bed posts. An acknowledgment that people in a relationship can be attracted to others and more without reducing the love or attractiveness you have for your partner. I think I'd struggle to go vanilla again, though appreciate that until I'm in that situation I don't know, but I hope to find out!"
well said. ..I don't know that you can put people in boxes like'real swinger' .... As opposed to what? That feels maybe a little elitist? ? I think it's a state of mind as above.swingers are a community of like minded people that are not necessarily always couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cannot speak for others, however I always believed that monogamy is an effect of hundreds of years of Christian indoctrination. We are not born in that way.
I hope to be lucky enough to meet a girl that will tick most of the boxes and she would have to tick the 'swinging' box as well. And yes, I am a big fan of mfm, so this is something that I am hoping to continue after I get attached.
(Not criticising) if you are not prone to monogamy then why do you see the need to be "attached" to ONE girl? Even if she swings. It may not be natural human instinct to only be with one person but as humans we do seem to need companionship of some nature. I don't think Ireland is ready for Polyamory. "
I haven't found one girl that would tick most of the boxes so far, how can I hope to find two?  I am trying to be realistic with my expectations from life.
I think I am already pushing it a lot hoping for a swinging girl with 3 boobs... hahaha
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cannot speak for others, however I always believed that monogamy is an effect of hundreds of years of Christian indoctrination. We are not born in that way.
I hope to be lucky enough to meet a girl that will tick most of the boxes and she would have to tick the 'swinging' box as well. And yes, I am a big fan of mfm, so this is something that I am hoping to continue after I get attached.
(Not criticising) if you are not prone to monogamy then why do you see the need to be "attached" to ONE girl? Even if she swings. It may not be natural human instinct to only be with one person but as humans we do seem to need companionship of some nature. I don't think Ireland is ready for Polyamory.
I haven't found one girl that would tick most of the boxes so far, how can I hope to find two? I am trying to be realistic with my expectations from life.
I think I am already pushing it a lot hoping for a swinging girl with 3 boobs... hahaha
"
I meant more along the lines of why settle down (get "attached") at all? Possibly, because we seek companionship (wether that's a societal trait forced on us or not). Does that not imply monogamy (even if you find the right person to swing with)? |
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"Lot of good comments and debate so far. To me swinging is a state of mind rather than notches on bed posts. An acknowledgment that people in a relationship can be attracted to others and more without reducing the love or attractiveness you have for your partner. I think I'd struggle to go vanilla again, though appreciate that until I'm in that situation I don't know, but I hope to find out!
well said. ..I don't know that you can put people in boxes like'real swinger' .... As opposed to what? That feels maybe a little elitist? ? I think it's a state of mind as above.swingers are a community of like minded people that are not necessarily always couples."
A community of like minded people. I like that, fits well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why does the term swingers have to be used at all? Why do we feel the need to say to others ohh you dont have sex outside your relationship! Ohh your vanilla!
Are we a different species of human? Have we more evolved? are we saying were better? because were more liberated?
Even were saying it now! we,us, the community? Why is it even a community? Is that not sad? That we the same people all the time go into a room and try get it on? Surly thats not swinging if we shag the same people over and over! Surey thats a relationship?
All the above sounds harsh and condesending! It is not meant that way, just trying to widen the debate.
For us its simple were late 30s been togeather for 25 years! Our sex is not boreing or mundane.
But we desided to see what its like to meet other people that we would fancy an enjoy the whole flirting night out with benifits.
For us it has absolutly noting to do with pushing boundries? What the hell does that even mean? Trying something your uncomfortable with? Why would you do that? And noting to do with sex for sex sake! Again whats the point in that? Sure we have sex on tap.
For us its simply about meeting other people we would have friendships with and like to have sex with, had we not met each other, and exploreing that all the while haveing us at the very core.
To some people we are the salt of the earth! to others wastes of time! Who pretend to be swingers...to the first group come on over to the others lofaoooo bite us! were not swingers just two people haveing a laugh
Its about connection nd friendship! Not eliteism! Not vanilla vs swinger the very term is just like religion devisive...
Just call it humans being humans which equals each to there own.
Rolllll on the haters
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Again a thread gone off point
The point was
Are single guys who swing/ enjoy the lifestyle / carve notches ...
likely to continue it if they meet someone ?
Or can they happily do monogamy ? Or is it a case of once a 'swinger ' always a 'swinger' ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i would say once a swinger always a swinger....but im not a single guy. just in my experience with single guys.
do you want women to comment on this thread???  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Again a thread gone off point
The point was
Are single guys who swing/ enjoy the lifestyle / carve notches ...
likely to continue it if they meet someone ?
Or can they happily do monogamy ? Or is it a case of once a 'swinger ' always a 'swinger' ? "
Sincire apoligies if you thaught we where hijacking this thread!
Our opinon! For what its worth.
If a single guy gets a lot of luck here and many meets!
Then finds a stable partner, it is our opinon this guy after a while would try get his partner involved.
If she refused we see potiental for side action.
The above opinon is based solely on the people we know and through many conversations around this topic.
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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago
otherside of nowhere |
"Why does the term swingers have to be used at all? Why do we feel the need to say to others ohh you dont have sex outside your relationship! Ohh your vanilla!
Are we a different species of human? Have we more evolved? are we saying were better? because were more liberated?
Even were saying it now! we,us, the community? Why is it even a community? Is that not sad? That we the same people all the time go into a room and try get it on? Surly thats not swinging if we shag the same people over and over! Surey thats a relationship?
All the above sounds harsh and condesending! It is not meant that way, just trying to widen the debate.
For us its simple were late 30s been togeather for 25 years! Our sex is not boreing or mundane.
But we desided to see what its like to meet other people that we would fancy an enjoy the whole flirting night out with benifits.
For us it has absolutly noting to do with pushing boundries? What the hell does that even mean? Trying something your uncomfortable with? Why would you do that? And noting to do with sex for sex sake! Again whats the point in that? Sure we have sex on tap.
For us its simply about meeting other people we would have friendships with and like to have sex with, had we not met each other, and exploreing that all the while haveing us at the very core.
To some people we are the salt of the earth! to others wastes of time! Who pretend to be swingers...to the first group come on over to the others lofaoooo bite us! were not swingers just two people haveing a laugh
Its about connection nd friendship! Not eliteism! Not vanilla vs swinger the very term is just like religion devisive...
Just call it humans being humans which equals each to there own.
Rolllll on the haters
"
Like your style...... |
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"Again a thread gone off point
The point was
Are single guys who swing/ enjoy the lifestyle / carve notches ...
likely to continue it if they meet someone ?
Or can they happily do monogamy ? Or is it a case of once a 'swinger ' always a 'swinger' ? "
I've been single for a little while now and while I'm enjoying the fun and am not looking for a relationship right now, if the right woman came along i'd consider it.
She'd have to be an exceptional woman for me to cease my hobby, and maybe if she was an exceptional woman she'd be into it anyway. But I dont let swinging define me. It's a hobby, something I do when I have time.
If giving up swinging for the right woman doesn't make me a swinger, then I guess I'm not a swinger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why does the term swingers have to be used at all? Why do we feel the need to say to others ohh you dont have sex outside your relationship! Ohh your vanilla!
Are we a different species of human? Have we more evolved? are we saying were better? because were more liberated?
Even were saying it now! we,us, the community? Why is it even a community? Is that not sad? That we the same people all the time go into a room and try get it on? Surly thats not swinging if we shag the same people over and over! Surey thats a relationship?
All the above sounds harsh and condesending! It is not meant that way, just trying to widen the debate.
For us its simple were late 30s been togeather for 25 years! Our sex is not boreing or mundane.
But we desided to see what its like to meet other people that we would fancy an enjoy the whole flirting night out with benifits.
For us it has absolutly noting to do with pushing boundries? What the hell does that even mean? Trying something your uncomfortable with? Why would you do that? And noting to do with sex for sex sake! Again whats the point in that? Sure we have sex on tap.
For us its simply about meeting other people we would have friendships with and like to have sex with, had we not met each other, and exploreing that all the while haveing us at the very core.
To some people we are the salt of the earth! to others wastes of time! Who pretend to be swingers...to the first group come on over to the others lofaoooo bite us! were not swingers just two people haveing a laugh
Its about connection nd friendship! Not eliteism! Not vanilla vs swinger the very term is just like religion devisive...
Just call it humans being humans which equals each to there own.
Rolllll on the haters
Like your style...... "
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