FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > ....for the singles. (serious thread)
....for the singles. (serious thread)
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As I'm newly single, I'm not interested in being in a relationship right now, so I'm using fab for some NSA and group fun. But I'm also dating in the vanilla world in a small way.
My question is this...if you wind up dating someone how early would you tell them you were into swinging....if at all? I was lucky the last time as my partner was open to it and it wasnt a problem.
I find myself thinking that it would have to be an exceptional person to make me consider giving up the lifestyle.
A new friend has been really inspiring as he doesnt care who knows he's a swinger... I wish I had his bravery sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be open from the beginning. Better to lay it all straight out rather than an awkward conversation however long into the relationship it is to get the nerveup to bbring it up. I'm fairly open with those I'm dating so they know I'm into both fetish and swinging and if they object at least I know before get emotionally involved |
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"Be open from the beginning. Better to lay it all straight out rather than an awkward conversation however long into the relationship it is to get the nerveup to bbring it up. I'm fairly open with those I'm dating so they know I'm into both fetish and swinging and if they object at least I know before get emotionally involved "
Yeah. That's what my gut is telling me. It worked in the past.... |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
well i met a girl a few of years ago and me being the honest fool that i am told her all about my swinging past and even tho we where together for a cpl of years her knowing of that part of my life caused more rows than anything else so be very careful what you say sometimes its better not to say a word esp if she isnt in this world |
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Yeah its a very tough judgement call.
Won't have to worry about it for a while as I've no intention of entering into another relationship any time soon...but you know what they say about good intentions! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As I'm newly single, I'm not interested in being in a relationship right now, so I'm using fab for some NSA and group fun. But I'm also dating in the vanilla world in a small way.
My question is this...if you wind up dating someone how early would you tell them you were into swinging....if at all? I was lucky the last time as my partner was open to it and it wasnt a problem.
I find myself thinking that it would have to be an exceptional person to make me consider giving up the lifestyle.
A new friend has been really inspiring as he doesnt care who knows he's a swinger... I wish I had his bravery sometimes."
I'd say don't be on vanilla sites for the time being, if you're into swinging  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you *have* to be open about it.
if you hide the fact, it will either come out and cause war *or* you will spend the rest of your time concerned that it will come out and cause war.
and in any case, why not be open about it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I find myself thinking that it would have to be an exceptional person to make me consider giving up the lifestyle.
A new friend has been really inspiring as he doesnt care who knows he's a swinger... I wish I had his bravery sometimes.
I'd say don't be on vanilla sites for the time being, if you're into swinging "
Yup. If you already know you want to keep swinging, why not just look in here?
|
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"
I find myself thinking that it would have to be an exceptional person to make me consider giving up the lifestyle.
A new friend has been really inspiring as he doesnt care who knows he's a swinger... I wish I had his bravery sometimes.
I'd say don't be on vanilla sites for the time being, if you're into swinging
Yup. If you already know you want to keep swinging, why not just look in here?
"
Yeah you're probably right. But a couple of nice vanilla dates would be nice too. Getting my sexual need met here also removes that pressure from my "dating world" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yup. If you already know you want to keep swinging, why not just look in here?
Yeah you're probably right. But a couple of nice vanilla dates would be nice too. Getting my sexual need met here also removes that pressure from my "dating world" "
If they're just dates then no need to say anything about your alter ego. The problem might arise if it becomes several dates. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm maybe. A "we'll cross that bridge when its serveral dates" kinda thing.
"
That's the thing about bridges, knowing which ones to cross & which ones to burn.  |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Hmmm maybe. A "we'll cross that bridge when its serveral dates" kinda thing.
That's the thing about bridges, knowing which ones to cross & which ones to burn. "
burning bridges is something i do very well lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm maybe. A "we'll cross that bridge when its serveral dates" kinda thing.
That's the thing about bridges, knowing which ones to cross & which ones to burn.
burning bridges is something i do very well lol"
Sure, you wouldn't be an old raver without being a Firestarter!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm maybe. A "we'll cross that bridge when its serveral dates" kinda thing.
That's the thing about bridges, knowing which ones to cross & which ones to burn.
burning bridges is something i do very well lol
Sure, you wouldn't be an old raver without being a Firestarter! "
Where did you get the ninja need me one of them  |
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"Hmmm maybe. A "we'll cross that bridge when its serveral dates" kinda thing.
That's the thing about bridges, knowing which ones to cross & which ones to burn.
burning bridges is something i do very well lol"
Despite my best efforts to not burn bridges.....sometimes I feel my feet getting warm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was seeing a non Fab guy before Xmas, after a fair few dates I told him.
HUGE mistake.
His attitude towards me completely changed, in and out of the bedroom.
Kinda glad I told him cos I got to see what a knob he really was, and his real attitude of women, let alone a woman who is in charge of her sexuality and sexual needs
 |
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By *imwildWoman
over a year ago
around |
"I was seeing a non Fab guy before Xmas, after a fair few dates I told him.
HUGE mistake.
His attitude towards me completely changed, in and out of the bedroom.
Kinda glad I told him cos I got to see what a knob he really was, and his real attitude of women, let alone a woman who is in charge of her sexuality and sexual needs
"
So it wasn't a huge mistake after all!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I suppose there's the argument that if you "come out" to someone you're dating and they freak and dump you then they're not the type of people you want to be dating anyway. "
Exactly, honesty tinged with a little discretion is best way forward. For instance in my last relationship, yes we discussed things we had done but I or him didn't go into microscopic details and I don't see why talking about swinging with prospective dates would be any different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The way I see it, is you are looking for a social life and sex life without the ties of an exclusive partner?
You have to be honest Not only with those that you are meeting but yourself
If you want it all then swinging is your road.
If you really only see this as a stop gap, a way to rest the hand ( and wash the sock) then stick to dating
I think until you know for sure what it is you really want, stay on all sites but be honest and say you aren't exclusive
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I find myself thinking that it would have to be an exceptional person to make me consider giving up the lifestyle.
A new friend has been really inspiring as he doesnt care who knows he's a swinger... I wish I had his bravery sometimes.
I'd say don't be on vanilla sites for the time being, if you're into swinging
Yup. If you already know you want to keep swinging, why not just look in here?
Yeah you're probably right. But a couple of nice vanilla dates would be nice too. Getting my sexual need met here also removes that pressure from my "dating world" "
Super hard to keep both worlds going!! Lol
But loving the swing thing too much at the mo!!! My plan is to meet a nice vanilla guy and have lots of fun turning him lol
Then we can have lotsa fun together on and off fab!!!! |
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"The way I see it, is you are looking for a social life and sex life without the ties of an exclusive partner?
You have to be honest Not only with those that you are meeting but yourself
If you want it all then swinging is your road.
If you really only see this as a stop gap, a way to rest the hand ( and wash the sock) then stick to dating
I think until you know for sure what it is you really want, stay on all sites but be honest and say you aren't exclusive
"
Exactly. I don't want exclusivity right now, but most on dating sites don't want casual....and personally I don't see fab as a "dating" site....but maybe I'm wrong on that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The way I see it, is you are looking for a social life and sex life without the ties of an exclusive partner?
You have to be honest Not only with those that you are meeting but yourself
If you want it all then swinging is your road.
If you really only see this as a stop gap, a way to rest the hand ( and wash the sock) then stick to dating
I think until you know for sure what it is you really want, stay on all sites but be honest and say you aren't exclusive
Exactly. I don't want exclusivity right now, but most on dating sites don't want casual....and personally I don't see fab as a "dating" site....but maybe I'm wrong on that?"
It's a funny one, I've had more guys want to be with me exclusively here, than I did on a dating site! |
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"The way I see it, is you are looking for a social life and sex life without the ties of an exclusive partner?
You have to be honest Not only with those that you are meeting but yourself
If you want it all then swinging is your road.
If you really only see this as a stop gap, a way to rest the hand ( and wash the sock) then stick to dating
I think until you know for sure what it is you really want, stay on all sites but be honest and say you aren't exclusive
Exactly. I don't want exclusivity right now, but most on dating sites don't want casual....and personally I don't see fab as a "dating" site....but maybe I'm wrong on that?
It's a funny one, I've had more guys want to be with me exclusively here, than I did on a dating site! "
They probably didn't know what you're capable of on the dating site! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The way I see it, is you are looking for a social life and sex life without the ties of an exclusive partner?
You have to be honest Not only with those that you are meeting but yourself
If you want it all then swinging is your road.
If you really only see this as a stop gap, a way to rest the hand ( and wash the sock) then stick to dating
I think until you know for sure what it is you really want, stay on all sites but be honest and say you aren't exclusive
Exactly. I don't want exclusivity right now, but most on dating sites don't want casual....and personally I don't see fab as a "dating" site....but maybe I'm wrong on that?
It's a funny one, I've had more guys want to be with me exclusively here, than I did on a dating site!
They probably didn't know what you're capable of on the dating site!"
Ha possibly. Dating sites are crazyville, I could write a bestseller about my experiences on them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"in the past i have met vanilla women and left swinging behind me and could easily do it again if it arose."
I left it all behind and got married, she knew nothing about that side of my life as I didn't want it with her. Now we've split I realise what I was missing |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"in the past i have met vanilla women and left swinging behind me and could easily do it again if it arose.
I left it all behind and got married, she knew nothing about that side of my life as I didn't want it with her. Now we've split I realise what I was missing "
swinging is great but it isnt the be all and end all of life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"in the past i have met vanilla women and left swinging behind me and could easily do it again if it arose.
I left it all behind and got married, she knew nothing about that side of my life as I didn't want it with her. Now we've split I realise what I was missing
swinging is great but it isnt the be all and end all of life "
But it's damn good fun.at times
I know what you mean though, if anything I think im in the same position as the op still open to something in the future, but probably not just yet so using this as a stop gap until the time comes. Vanilla sites do nothing for my interest currently though. |
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By *azsinsMan
over a year ago
Belfast |
"The way I see it, is you are looking for a social life and sex life without the ties of an exclusive partner?
You have to be honest Not only with those that you are meeting but yourself
If you want it all then swinging is your road.
If you really only see this as a stop gap, a way to rest the hand ( and wash the sock) then stick to dating
I think until you know for sure what it is you really want, stay on all sites but be honest and say you aren't exclusive
Exactly. I don't want exclusivity right now, but most on dating sites don't want casual....and personally I don't see fab as a "dating" site....but maybe I'm wrong on that?
It's a funny one, I've had more guys want to be with me exclusively here, than I did on a dating site! "
totally hear that all the time wtf your swingers!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The way I see it, is you are looking for a social life and sex life without the ties of an exclusive partner?
You have to be honest Not only with those that you are meeting but yourself
If you want it all then swinging is your road.
If you really only see this as a stop gap, a way to rest the hand ( and wash the sock) then stick to dating
I think until you know for sure what it is you really want, stay on all sites but be honest and say you aren't exclusive
Exactly. I don't want exclusivity right now, but most on dating sites don't want casual....and personally I don't see fab as a "dating" site....but maybe I'm wrong on that?
It's a funny one, I've had more guys want to be with me exclusively here, than I did on a dating site!
totally hear that all the time wtf your swingers!! "
|
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By *azsinsMan
over a year ago
Belfast |
feel your anguish op
single fella, no interest in finding a vanilla relationship quite happy i found swinging. So much better than heading out on a friday/saturday with the lads getting d*unk picking up some d*unk bird paying for her drinks, ending up at your place not knowing what you got up to was safe! Only to find her rearranging your DVD collection planning on going shopping for drapes that afternoon!!!!!!
If i was crazy to get emotionally involved again the past is my past not hers its my private life not hers. I wouldn't say anything. Unless you both found the idea of being sexually expressive with others fun.
Keep swinging man avoid the shopping for curtains at all costs
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"feel your anguish op
single fella, no interest in finding a vanilla relationship quite happy i found swinging. So much better than heading out on a friday/saturday with the lads getting d*unk picking up some d*unk bird paying for her drinks, ending up at your place not knowing what you got up to was safe! Only to find her rearranging your DVD collection planning on going shopping for drapes that afternoon!!!!!!
If i was crazy to get emotionally involved again the past is my past not hers its my private life not hers. I wouldn't say anything. Unless you both found the idea of being sexually expressive with others fun.
Keep swinging man avoid the shopping for curtains at all costs
"
This man speaks sense  |
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"feel your anguish op
single fella, no interest in finding a vanilla relationship quite happy i found swinging. So much better than heading out on a friday/saturday with the lads getting d*unk picking up some d*unk bird paying for her drinks, ending up at your place not knowing what you got up to was safe! Only to find her rearranging your DVD collection planning on going shopping for drapes that afternoon!!!!!!
If i was crazy to get emotionally involved again the past is my past not hers its my private life not hers. I wouldn't say anything. Unless you both found the idea of being sexually expressive with others fun.
Keep swinging man avoid the shopping for curtains at all costs
"
Thats the plan for now!
Wrx said he could leave easily, and I have immense respect for people who do. But going back to my earlier post, I like like this lifestyle so much she'd have to be some woman for me to give it up right now, and she'd be even better if I didnt have to!
and duffer, I was once in a similar situation as you, swung as a single bout 10-12 years ago, then met someone, got married, that ended...then I was back! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't know.... I'd be worried that the person will use it against me when things go sour.
If you'd like to find a girlfriend at some stage but want to continue swinging, you're probably best off to just stay on here. Have great meets and as in every other part of life, if you hit off, you hit off! I don't mean look for it, because if you meet the right person it just happens anyway. At least if it happens you know she's open minded towards this lifestyle and you could swing as a couple if you both are happy with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Friends with benefits sounds perfect for you, you can socialise with them go out for drinks, to the cinema or what ever and sex can take place with out ant strings you just go home and continue as friends |
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"Friends with benefits sounds perfect for you, you can socialise with them go out for drinks, to the cinema or what ever and sex can take place with out ant strings you just go home and continue as friends"
or maybe building to that. I mean, if my sexual needs are being met here, it allows me to build more platonic relationships with women offsite, of which i only have a few right now. If that develops into FWB or more, so much the better. |
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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago
otherside of nowhere |
Not sure you would invest the time and thought required for a real relationship if you are still on a swing site.....and think it a bit unfair to ladies on a dateing site if ur not open to some form of relationship....but by what do I know |
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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago
otherside of nowhere |
"Not sure you would invest the time and thought required for a real relationship if you are still on a swing site.....and think it a bit unfair to ladies on a dateing site if ur not open to some form of relationship....but by what do I know"
Haven't been single for over 20 years lol |
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"Not sure you would invest the time and thought required for a real relationship if you are still on a swing site.....and think it a bit unfair to ladies on a dateing site if ur not open to some form of relationship....but by what do I know"
but there's also nothing wrong with keeping my options open. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not sure you would invest the time and thought required for a real relationship if you are still on a swing site.....and think it a bit unfair to ladies on a dateing site if ur not open to some form of relationship....but by what do I know
but there's also nothing wrong with keeping my options open."
I'm kind of the same... I'm dating in the 'real world' but I'm also having fun with people off here. Not sure what's wrong with it?! Sure a girl has got to eat, right! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The way I see it, is you are looking for a social life and sex life without the ties of an exclusive partner?
You have to be honest Not only with those that you are meeting but yourself
If you want it all then swinging is your road.
If you really only see this as a stop gap, a way to rest the hand ( and wash the sock) then stick to dating
I think until you know for sure what it is you really want, stay on all sites but be honest and say you aren't exclusive
Exactly. I don't want exclusivity right now, but most on dating sites don't want casual....and personally I don't see fab as a "dating" site....but maybe I'm wrong on that?
It's a funny one, I've had more guys want to be with me exclusively here, than I did on a dating site! "
Me too!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hmmm maybe. A "we'll cross that bridge when its serveral dates" kinda thing.
That's the thing about bridges, knowing which ones to cross & which ones to burn.
burning bridges is something i do very well lol
Despite my best efforts to not burn bridges.....sometimes I feel my feet getting warm."
U cud jump off the burning bridges coz uve got Superman pants  |
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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago
otherside of nowhere |
"Not sure you would invest the time and thought required for a real relationship if you are still on a swing site.....and think it a bit unfair to ladies on a dateing site if ur not open to some form of relationship....but by what do I know
but there's also nothing wrong with keeping my options open.
I'm kind of the same... I'm dating in the 'real world' but I'm also having fun with people off here. Not sure what's wrong with it?! Sure a girl has got to eat, right! "
Yes she sure dose .....and I have no idea
what I would do in a similar situation.....just thinking out loud |
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"Hmmm maybe. A "we'll cross that bridge when its serveral dates" kinda thing.
That's the thing about bridges, knowing which ones to cross & which ones to burn.
burning bridges is something i do very well lol
Despite my best efforts to not burn bridges.....sometimes I feel my feet getting warm.
U cud jump off the burning bridges coz uve got Superman pants "
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