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Banaba Man and his quest for the golden plums!

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

On an ordinary day in an ordinary suburb in Banterville a young man with a whole lotta love to give, set out on a quest to find the answer to Downgirls eternal youth and beauty.

He started off his day as usual eating his tried and 'tasted' bananas, (making sure he gets his five a day!

). Alas poor lotta had the wrong items delivered in his basket and instead of bananas mefor had delivered him a bunch of Banaba's!!

Thinking "what the hell", he ate them anyway! Wasn't long before he felt a little odd (thinking dam that Kearnsey telling me about 'clean9').

A few hours later after a rather boring night out in kalaco jacks, lotta awakes in a telephone box, wearing only white boxers (his profile pics on purpose ladies!! For the m&g) a cape and Downgirls nightmask

..............

Please continue on the story! Go crazy..........

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He blamed it all on his poor young sidekick, who having only joined got the wrong banaba's,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The phone box was located right outside the police station and the police were all sat in the station laughing at the super hero's indisposed attire

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

Suddenly the phone rang. It was Banabaman's sworn enemy, The Singing Snorkel.

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

'There's a lady who knows' the Singing Snorkel sang, his voice pounding into Banabaman's ears like a cat being stroked with a cheese grater, 'all that glitters is gold, and she's stealing the Golden Plums tomorrow'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'There's a lady who knows' the Singing Snorkel sang, his voice pounding into Banabaman's ears like a cat being stroked with a cheese grater, 'all that glitters is gold, and she's stealing the Golden Plums tomorrow'"

Banabaman being used to having plums in his mouth seized the opportunity and thrust the golden plums into his mouth as he knew the secret of the snorkel man was to grip tight onto the plums....

Mr P

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh no banabaman thought to himself I have to work tomorrow I must try and talk the boss into letting me choose my own destination tomorrow the golden plums are at risk and I sooooo love the little golden ovals sooooo smooth and strokey

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Banaba man answers the phone to the singing snorkeler (from rinky's confrontation cave).

The snorkeler tells him that he is holding Downgirl hostage in craic town and that he must save her!!

(cue shocked music - du du du)

(Ahhhhhhh Mefor faints in shock, whose going to pass on the secret of youth now???!!!) oh no thinks lotta "I must save them both"

"Snorkel man tell me what I must do?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Banaba man answers the phone to the singing snorkeler (from rinky's confrontation cave).

The snorkeler tells him that he is holding Downgirl hostage in craic town and that he must save her!!

(cue shocked music - du du du)

(Ahhhhhhh Mefor faints in shock, whose going to pass on the secret of youth now???!!!) oh no thinks lotta "I must save Down Girl"

"Snorkel man what sexual favour can I do for you?" "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Banaba man answers the phone to the singing snorkeler (from rinky's confrontation cave).

The snorkeler tells him that he is holding Downgirl hostage in craic town and that he must save her!!

(cue shocked music - du du du)

(Ahhhhhhh Mefor faints in shock, whose going to pass on the secret of youth now???!!!) oh no thinks lotta "I must save Down Girl"

"Snorkel man what sexual favour can I do for you?" "

Lmao did you start on the wine too pink???

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Banaba man answers the phone to the singing snorkeler (from rinky's confrontation cave).

The snorkeler tells him that he is holding Downgirl hostage in craic town and that he must save her!!

(cue shocked music - du du du)

(Ahhhhhhh Mefor faints in shock, whose going to pass on the secret of youth now???!!!) oh no thinks lotta "I must save Down Girl"

"Snorkel man what sexual favour can I do for you?" "

Over to you snorkel man!!

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By *j47Man over a year ago

limerick

Snorkle man tells banbaman he must deliver the golden plums unscaved to him in crack town or he shall deflower his captives

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Help it's dark in here said downgirl

I'm gonna have to feel my way round. ... and then she felt a....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Banaba man answers the phone to the singing snorkeler (from rinky's confrontation cave).

The snorkeler tells him that he is holding Downgirl hostage in craic town and that he must save her!!

(cue shocked music - du du du)

(Ahhhhhhh Mefor faints in shock, whose going to pass on the secret of youth now???!!!) oh no thinks lotta "I must save Down Girl"

"Snorkel man what sexual favour can I do for you?"

Lmao did you start on the wine too pink???

No the very sober Mr Panther did lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Help it's dark in here said downgirl

I'm gonna have to feel my way round. ... and then she felt a...."

something that was throbbing and wet as she gripped it tighter and tighter

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Help it's dark in here said downgirl

I'm gonna have to feel my way round. ... and then she felt a....

something that was throbbing and wet as she gripped it tighter and tighter"

Mmmmmmm said mefor but that's my .......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Help it's dark in here said downgirl

I'm gonna have to feel my way round. ... and then she felt a....

something that was throbbing and wet as she gripped it tighter and tighter

Mmmmmmm said mefor but that's my ......."

jaffa cake holder. ...I wondered where that got to!! ...Some people mistake it for a ...

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

'Haha' sang the Snorkel, his voice drowning out the sound of a foghorn from the Banterville harbour. 'That is not what you think it is.'

'Eek' said Downgirl, jumping into mefor's arms. 'I just touched his snorkel'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"'Haha' sang the Snorkel, his voice drowning out the sound of a foghorn from the Banterville harbour. 'That is not what you think it is.'

'Eek' said Downgirl, jumping into mefor's arms. 'I just touched his snorkel'"

Or was it a harpoon as i gripped on tighter...and something shot out of it????

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Meanwhile, Banabaman had made contact with the boy wonder, who picked him up in the phallic shaped fruit mobile, they were now hurtling toward Miss Sofia, keeper of the butties of bacon, these alone could ease his hangover and keep his mind on stopping the singing snorkel....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

that is actually bloody brilliant

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

In the posh part of town is a house. From the outside it looks like a normal, run of the mill semi detached, but this house was different, for beneath it, in a deep vault, The Golden Plums of Banterville are kept.

The keeper of the Plums stood in front of a small door and uttered three words. The magic spell unlocked the door and the Witch pushed it open, revealling a set of wooden steps heading off into darkness.

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

that is actually bloody brilliant

I enjoy writing. You should read my Harry Potter story. You'd be disgusted..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

that is actually bloody brilliant

I enjoy writing. You should read my Harry Potter story. You'd be disgusted..

Long I love this!!! I so wanna read your Harry potter!! Please post it here!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"In the posh part of town is a house. From the outside it looks like a normal, run of the mill semi detached, but this house was different, for beneath it, in a deep vault, The Golden Plums of Banterville are kept.

I think panthers would like it kinky!! Please let it be a sex dungeon!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think panthers would like it kinky!! Please let it be a sex dungeon!!

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing.......

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I think panthers would like it kinky!! Please let it be a sex dungeon!!

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing......."

Mrs pink panther (oh now u get it!!!) in a sexy cat women PVC suit with whip knee high boots and purring come to me banaba man ........

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing......."

Heaven....

(What else would a stairway lead to)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing.......

Heaven....

(What else would a stairway lead to)"

Heaven! Is that in Banterville???

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

'Heaven' the Witch said, startled. 'You scared me'

'Sorry mistress' replied Heaven, The Keepers Assistant and, (if the rumours were true), her lover. 'I was just making sure everything was ok. The man turned and headed downstairs, his feet soft on the steps, his body moving like a panther.

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing.......

Heaven....

(What else would a stairway lead to)

Heaven! Is that in Banterville???

Those who get to play with the Panthers say it is....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think panthers would like it kinky!! Please let it be a sex dungeon!!

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing.......

Mrs pink panther (oh now u get it!!!) in a sexy cat women PVC suit with whip knee high boots and purring come to me banaba man ........"

banaba man tried to resist the lure of this sexy woman infront if him and trying hard to refrain from eye contact banaba man reached down to.......

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

Long I love this!!! I so wanna read your Harry potter!! Please post it here!!

It's too long to post here. If you're a good girl I might bring a copy to Newry. It's not finished mind you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing.......

Mrs pink panther (oh now u get it!!!) in a sexy cat women PVC suit with whip knee high boots and purring come to me banaba man ........

banaba man tried to resist the lure of this sexy woman infront if him and trying hard to refrain from eye contact banaba man reached down to......."

find his hand grab Mr P's lethal weapon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing.......

Heaven....

(What else would a stairway lead to)

Heaven! Is that in Banterville???

Those who get to play with the Panthers say it is....

Haha...lol..i hope so....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing.......

Heaven....

(What else would a stairway lead to)"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing.......

Mrs pink panther (oh now u get it!!!) in a sexy cat women PVC suit with whip knee high boots and purring come to me banaba man ........

banaba man tried to resist the lure of this sexy woman infront if him and trying hard to refrain from eye contact banaba man reached down to.......

find his hand grab Mr P's lethal weapon"

oohhh... said banaba man. ... You have one to? ??? Why was this not in the forum! !

Then whilst grasping said appendage tight in his little paw. .. he turned his wrist. ... and said in a menacing whisper.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing.......

Mrs pink panther (oh now u get it!!!) in a sexy cat women PVC suit with whip knee high boots and purring come to me banaba man ........

banaba man tried to resist the lure of this sexy woman infront if him and trying hard to refrain from eye contact banaba man reached down to.......

find his hand grab Mr P's lethal weapon

oohhh... said banaba man. ... You have one to? ??? Why was this not in the forum! !

Then whilst grasping said appendage tight in his little paw. .. he turned his wrist. ... and said in a menacing whisper....."

"Pink be a dear and get the handcuffs, chains and ball gag .........

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The witch uttered her song (no not the one she used to lure the children in hocus pocus) and lanterns lit up the stairway, revealing.......

Mrs pink panther (oh now u get it!!!) in a sexy cat women PVC suit with whip knee high boots and purring come to me banaba man ........

banaba man tried to resist the lure of this sexy woman infront if him and trying hard to refrain from eye contact banaba man reached down to.......

find his hand grab Mr P's lethal weapon

oohhh... said banaba man. ... You have one to? ??? Why was this not in the forum! !

Then whilst grasping said appendage tight in his little paw. .. he turned his wrist. ... and said in a menacing whisper.....

"Pink be a dear and get the handcuffs, chains and ball gag ........."

Mmmmm now ur talking xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And get poor old Kearnsy a cup of tea with some jaffa cakes poor lads stuck on that clean 9 stuff and he not up to it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And get poor old Kearnsy a cup of tea with some jaffa cakes poor lads stuck on that clean 9 stuff and he not up to it

awww said Mrs pink..... You poor boy. .. Here come sit on my knee and tell me what you would like me too do too make you feel better. .

Just at that. . There was a sudden crash. . And a yell and who should appear but. ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And get poor old Kearnsy a cup of tea with some jaffa cakes poor lads stuck on that clean 9 stuff and he not up to it

Kearnsy dear your cup is always half empty!! Fill it up with all things positive and get in the spirit of it!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And get poor old Kearnsy a cup of tea with some jaffa cakes poor lads stuck on that clean 9 stuff and he not up to it

awww said Mrs pink..... You poor boy. .. Here come sit on my knee and tell me what you would like me too do too make you feel better. .

Just at that. . There was a sudden crash. . And a yell and who should appear but. .."

Plantain boy........, da da da "to baterville and beyond"!! But muffled as he was wearing the ball gag

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And get poor old Kearnsy a cup of tea with some jaffa cakes poor lads stuck on that clean 9 stuff and he not up to it

Kearnsy dear your cup is always half empty!! Fill it up with all things positive and get in the spirit of it!!!!

That's it Mefor, get his spirit up x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And get poor old Kearnsy a cup of tea with some jaffa cakes poor lads stuck on that clean 9 stuff and he not up to it

awww said Mrs pink..... You poor boy. .. Here come sit on my knee and tell me what you would like me too do too make you feel better. .

Just at that. . There was a sudden crash. . And a yell and who should appear but. ..

Plantain boy........, da da da "to baterville and beyond"!! But muffled as he was wearing the ball gag

Mmmm hhhhhh juju kkijhbvlkjhh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And get poor old Kearnsy a cup of tea with some jaffa cakes poor lads stuck on that clean 9 stuff and he not up to it

awww said Mrs pink..... You poor boy. .. Here come sit on my knee and tell me what you would like me too do too make you feel better. .

Just at that. . There was a sudden crash. . And a yell and who should appear but. ..

Plantain boy........, da da da "to baterville and beyond"!! But muffled as he was wearing the ball gag

Mmmm hhhhhh juju kkijhbvlkjhh

I'm choking on this ball gag, u gotta save me banaba man from the clutches of downgirl an Mefor, but take ur time I'm enjoying it lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And get poor old Kearnsy a cup of tea with some jaffa cakes poor lads stuck on that clean 9 stuff and he not up to it

awww said Mrs pink..... You poor boy. .. Here come sit on my knee and tell me what you would like me too do too make you feel better. .

Just at that. . There was a sudden crash. . And a yell and who should appear but. ..

Plantain boy........, da da da "to baterville and beyond"!! But muffled as he was wearing the ball gag

Mmmm hhhhhh juju kkijhbvlkjhh

I'm choking on this ball gag, u gotta save me banaba man from the clutches of downgirl an Mefor, but take ur time I'm enjoying it lol xxx"

Lmao

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And get poor old Kearnsy a cup of tea with some jaffa cakes poor lads stuck on that clean 9 stuff and he not up to it

awww said Mrs pink..... You poor boy. .. Here come sit on my knee and tell me what you would like me too do too make you feel better. .

Just at that. . There was a sudden crash. . And a yell and who should appear but. ..

Plantain boy........, da da da "to baterville and beyond"!! But muffled as he was wearing the ball gag

Mmmm hhhhhh juju kkijhbvlkjhh

I'm choking on this ball gag, u gotta save me banaba man from the clutches of downgirl an Mefor, but take ur time I'm enjoying it lol xxx

Lmao

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And get poor old Kearnsy a cup of tea with some jaffa cakes poor lads stuck on that clean 9 stuff and he not up to it

awww said Mrs pink..... You poor boy. .. Here come sit on my knee and tell me what you would like me too do too make you feel better. .

Just at that. . There was a sudden crash. . And a yell and who should appear but. ..

Plantain boy........, da da da "to baterville and beyond"!! But muffled as he was wearing the ball gag

Mmmm hhhhhh juju kkijhbvlkjhh

I'm choking on this ball gag, u gotta save me banaba man from the clutches of downgirl an Mefor, but take ur time I'm enjoying it lol xxx

Lmao

Lol

Ok banaba man, save me now, my plums have been turned into prunes by these amazingly sexy women

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

The Keeper of the Golden Plums pushed Heaven's head away from between her thighs. 'That was a jolly good show, but you don't fool me. Someone is here to pilfer my plums. One of you is an imposter.' The Keeper spoke into a radio that had suddenly appeared in her hand. 'Everyone is here banaba man , you can come in now.'

There was a huge crash and when the dust settled, there was a large hole in the wall, Banaba man standing in it.

'You could have used the door you twat. We may live in a posh neighbourhood, but we're not made of dosh.'

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

'The Singing Snorkel is clever' Banabaman spoke softly, 'but not as clever as wot I is.' He surveyed the room, taking in the occupants. Mefor and Downgirl were sat next to Kearnsy, who was drinking a strange gloopy green drink through a straw as he was tied up. The Keeper stood to one side, her faithful servant Heaven, kneeling at her feet. 'In fact, the snorkel is in this room right now, waiting for an opportunity to steal The Plums'

'What Plums' asked DownGirl

'Those Plums' replied Banabaman, pointing to the secure, but empty display case that normally held the priceless Golden Plums.

'Oh bugger'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mmmm said downgirl. ..I'll never get to heaven now. ..

Just then they heard a very strange sound. .

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

"Mmmm said downgirl. ..I'll never get to heaven now. ..

Just then they heard a very strange sound. ."

'Sorry' said Banabaman. 'Curried beans for tea last night. Good job I installed this new ventilation system'

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Mmmm said downgirl. ..I'll never get to heaven now. ..

Just then they heard a very strange sound. .

'Sorry' said Banabaman. 'Curried beans for tea last night. Good job I installed this new ventilation system'"

Lmao in tears here!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mmmm said downgirl. ..I'll never get to heaven now. ..

Just then they heard a very strange sound. .

'Sorry' said Banabaman. 'Curried beans for tea last night. Good job I installed this new ventilation system'

Lmao in tears here!!

I'll bring u tissues up lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mmmm said downgirl. ..I'll never get to heaven now. ..

Just then they heard a very strange sound. .

'Sorry' said Banabaman. 'Curried beans for tea last night. Good job I installed this new ventilation system'"

ewwwww said downgirl. .... People from banterville don't normally do such rude things.....i myself have never. ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mmmm said downgirl. ..I'll never get to heaven now. ..

Just then they heard a very strange sound. .

'Sorry' said Banabaman. 'Curried beans for tea last night. Good job I installed this new ventilation system'

ewwwww said downgirl. .... People from banterville don't normally do such rude things.....i myself have never. ..."

U wud never get any1 from craictown doing that, isn't that right Mefor

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Mmmm said downgirl. ..I'll never get to heaven now. ..

Just then they heard a very strange sound. .

'Sorry' said Banabaman. 'Curried beans for tea last night. Good job I installed this new ventilation system'

ewwwww said downgirl. .... People from banterville don't normally do such rude things.....i myself have never. ...

U wud never get any1 from craictown doing that, isn't that right Mefor"

Lol probably cause they'd be disguised in balaclavas!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mmmm said downgirl. ..I'll never get to heaven now. ..

Just then they heard a very strange sound. .

'Sorry' said Banabaman. 'Curried beans for tea last night. Good job I installed this new ventilation system'

ewwwww said downgirl. .... People from banterville don't normally do such rude things.....i myself have never. ..."

dodgy curryhouse cooking aside banabaman knew he needed to find snorkel and the golden plums but where to start..... The display case was not entirely empty, inside Snorkel had left his calling card, a wet wet wet cd..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

that is actually bloody brilliant

I enjoy writing. You should read my Harry Potter story. You'd be disgusted..

must get a read of it sometime

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Mmmm said downgirl. ..I'll never get to heaven now. ..

Just then they heard a very strange sound. .

'Sorry' said Banabaman. 'Curried beans for tea last night. Good job I installed this new ventilation system'

ewwwww said downgirl. .... People from banterville don't normally do such rude things.....i myself have never. ...

Love was all around them!! Was everywhere he goes. He felt it in his fingers he felt it in his toes!!

Was it written in the wind.........

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By *ongbow71Man over a year ago

Bangor, Norn Iron

Love was all around them!! Was everywhere he goes. He felt it in his fingers he felt it in his toes!!

Was it written in the wind.........

'Sorry' said Banabaman again, wafting the air furiously..

The keeper and Banaba man had stayed at the scene of the crime to look for clues and everyone else went home, except for Kearnsy who was still tied up and forgotten about.

Downgirl was just getting out of the shower when the phone rang. Not stopping to grab a towel, she dashed over to answer it, water glistening off her magnificent breasts, the sudden contrast of cold air making her nipples stand out proud.

'Are they secret? Are they safe?' a voice warbled down the phone.

'Where no one but you can find them.' she replied. 'When can I see you. I need to see you!'

'In good time my dear Fanny. I must lead the fool Banabaman on a merry chase to draw suspicion away from you.'

Fanny Bateur, for that was Downgirls real name, sighed with longing.

'Can I just say that your plan was exceptional.' continued the Singing Snorkel. 'Stealing your own Plums whilst pretending to be the victim is evil genius of the highest order.'

'Now I can be the youngest most beautiful person in Banterville and I won't have to share it with anyone.' Fanny cackled.

'Now put phase three of my plan into action and destroy Banabaman, so I can rule Banterville once and for all.'

'With pleasure.' the snorkel replied, but first I must get the kids to school.