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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not sure if this is a good idea or not but from chatting with others and reading some of the threads, not getting a reply to a message (intro message) seems to kind of annoy other members - as well as myself(!)
Anyway, I was thinking would it be a good idea if when members get a message - and I don't mean one liners/"wanna hook up?"/c & p ones but ones where the sender has gone to some effort to make contact - and the recipient isn't interested, for whatever reason, could they just reply TBNT (thanks but no thanks)?
At least the original sender knows the score and it allows the recipient to acknowledge the mail and politely decline without having to go to too much effort...
I know a non-reply gains the same result but sometimes it's just nice to be nice!
Any thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No because a reply (to some) means...woohooo im in there.they ask why then ya end up talking to them when ur not interested"
but i do see where ur coming from |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No because a reply (to some) means...woohooo im in there.they ask why then ya end up talking to them when ur not interested"
That'd be the idea of it though - non-engagement in chat but acknowledging the mail. If the original sender persists block them!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I Often replied with not interested then I get "why not" or " give me a chance"
So telling "some "guys your not interested isn't enough so now I just delete |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Fair points, Lizzy, 50shades and Sweet. In fairness from chatting with some of the female members, overflowing inboxes is a bit of an issue. I can't speak for all the single fellas on here but I know for myself having too many messages to read isn't a problem I have to deal with 
I suppose my naivety is what fuels my idealism, ha ha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get a why not etc very often as a reply. Mostly is just 'thanks for replying, take care'
"
same hear,in fact most lads seem genuinely surprised to get a "thanks for your interest but...." message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't know why I don't get that much abuse... it happens but very, very rarely. I do compose my reply like a proper message and quite formal so maybe that's why |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't get a why not etc very often as a reply. Mostly is just 'thanks for replying, take care'
same hear,in fact most lads seem genuinely surprised to get a "thanks for your interest but...." message"
Because it happens so rarely P&E - whether it be a positive or 'negative' response.
Again I can only speak for myself but I'd say of the messages I send about 1 in 10 get a response of any kind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know why I don't get that much abuse... it happens but very, very rarely. I do compose my reply like a proper message and quite formal so maybe that's why"
never got any abuse but I do sign them with"Paddy" so maybe that helps |
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I always answer with jus a no thanks sorry or no I'm not interested thanks for the the message tho and still get abuse off them I'm never rude to anyone unless they give me a reason to be but yet I seem to get a load of abuse for no reason |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I took your TBNT advice and put it into practice now with a certain gent.... I'm now getting abuse for being a stuck up Bitch...  "
I wouldn't take that from anybody, I'd report and block as per any eejit or abusive person who would send me messages like that. I'm not justifying it but thats what I'd do as TBNT is great etiquette and great as people know then not to contact you again etc.
Especially after they made the effort of making contact in the first place and took there time to do so etc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What I've learned so far is that I'm far more naive about the whole thing than I thought I was. Didn't realise people get abuse for not engaging in chat - haven't suffered from any negative mails or abuse and haven't doled any out...
Maybe not replying is the best option if you don't know what you're exposing yourself to with a simple thanks but no thanks.
I suppose the upshot is that lads need to cop on a bit and take rejection on the chin or at least take a thanks but no thanks message for what it is - a polite refusal of any further contact... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I suppose the upshot is that lads need to cop on a bit and take rejection on the chin or at least take a thanks but no thanks message for what it is - a polite refusal of any further contact..."
 |
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By *ichelle 2014Woman
over a year ago
Cork / limerick / tipp / Clare |
"What I've learned so far is that I'm far more naive about the whole thing than I thought I was. Didn't realise people get abuse for not engaging in chat - haven't suffered from any negative mails or abuse and haven't doled any out...
Maybe not replying is the best option if you don't know what you're exposing yourself to with a simple thanks but no thanks.
I suppose the upshot is that lads need to cop on a bit and take rejection on the chin or at least take a thanks but no thanks message for what it is - a polite refusal of any further contact..."
In my experience its not just lads dishing out the abuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I've learned so far is that I'm far more naive about the whole thing than I thought I was. Didn't realise people get abuse for not engaging in chat - haven't suffered from any negative mails or abuse and haven't doled any out...
Maybe not replying is the best option if you don't know what you're exposing yourself to with a simple thanks but no thanks.
I suppose the upshot is that lads need to cop on a bit and take rejection on the chin or at least take a thanks but no thanks message for what it is - a polite refusal of any further contact...
In my experience its not just lads dishing out the abuse "
Have had cpls & women send abusive messages aswell |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
So far so good i haven't recived any abuse only pleasurable abuse of my body,but from reading this thread i was wondering is there a particular demographic that tend to abuse more than others ie
age group of say 20/30
or30/40
Is it unverified
or maybe newbies here less than three months
just wondering  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually have to say, while I haven't got a lot of abuse in my years on here, the most frequent type was calling me an ageist and getting a bit narky from 45+ men. |
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"Fair points, Lizzy, 50shades and Sweet. In fairness from chatting with some of the female members, overflowing inboxes is a bit of an issue. I can't speak for all the single fellas on here but I know for myself having too many messages to read isn't a problem I have to deal with
I suppose my naivety is what fuels my idealism, ha ha!"
I use to get loads of messages... from GUYS!!
Once I blocked all men... problem solved. Now I don't get any messages at all... from anyone . Lol |
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"What I've learned so far is that I'm far more naive about the whole thing than I thought I was. Didn't realise people get abuse for not engaging in chat - haven't suffered from any negative mails or abuse and haven't doled any out...
Maybe not replying is the best option if you don't know what you're exposing yourself to with a simple thanks but no thanks.
I suppose the upshot is that lads need to cop on a bit and take rejection on the chin or at least take a thanks but no thanks message for what it is - a polite refusal of any further contact..."
ERRECTION on the Chin?? Oh sorry... I read ur message wrong.. rejection.. few! That's OK...was getting worried lol
Let's be honest this is a womans/ couples problem... I can't see too many men getting hundreds of messages every day.
The problem I see is... if you get a message and don't reply the sender doesn't know if you have read it or not.. we know women get 100s of messages daily.
So.. the person sends another one...then another..and another.. thinking maybe she will see one of my messages And Might Reply
I think reply... "No Thanks"... if they then write back ignore their messages or block em.
Problem solved |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh my god.....is this thread actually here? If they don't reply, take the hint. If I send a message and its not responded to in 7 days I delete it. 7 day rule for me. Why try and get someone to waste their time to reply. We all know. You get a message. You read message then checkout the profile and photos. If you like you reply. If you don't you don't. Some do and that is fair enough. Majority don't because its a waste of time and it's bloody awkward saying you're not interested to someone. So I think peeps need to grasp a bit of reality.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The problem I see is... if you get a message and don't reply the sender doesn't know if you have read it or not.. "
Or the sender could check there sent msgs and it tells you if the msg has been read,unread,replied too or deleted |
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"No because a reply (to some) means...woohooo im in there.they ask why then ya end up talking to them when ur not interested"
I have often thougt about this curvy . I think s reply would be good on some ways. If bo answer sent guys may presum with volume of mail women receive woman never read it and send more. Then we see the threads like dont guys get message etc. Needs do change for people so the TBNT thing might work. In the future the same guy may appeal to the woman. No blocking or bad blood. U could send me TBNT if I mail u lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or fab could offer some standard replies which clearly show that they are - in fact - a standard reply. It may help to go through more emails quicker, they are written in a friendly but assertive manner and maybe they will be more accepted by the guys who don't take a no as a no?
E.g. if I sent a auto-reply TBNT if the other person emails again the system automatically tells them... think twice, this person already told you they're not interested.
Ok, that's probably way too sophisticated lol
Anyway, my method works quite well anyway. I use my own standard reply - I just copy/paste it and add maybe a name, that's all. It's been working very well for me. |
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