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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A girl I know is going through a high conflict divorce ... Her ex has now got their son living with him just through lies about her and bad mouthing. Son refuses to talk to her at all.
Anyone ever heard of this before ,been through it or advice I could pass on ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do some self councilling with the help of Byron Katie so she can bide her time and cope and eventually come out on top. 99.9% of my forum posts are not serious but I mean this one.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's never easy unfortunately once the bad mouthing starts but if it's all just that the truth will come through eventually. As long as she makes sure she shows interest and the want to see the kid. Start slow with an hour or two contact and build from there if it gets to longer then make the contact enjoyable doing things with the kid but never push it as will only push them further away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell her dont keep asking for kids the more she does the less she gets karma is a great thing i know how she is feeling keep her head up and go abt every day as normal as u can |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
its very tough on any parent... my ex tried to stop me seeing my daughter for a few months a few years ago. the only adivice I can give is keep turning up for the visitations because if they dont it can be used as an indication that they aren't bothered etc. |
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Some people do use kids as weapons.
I have to say I find it terrible .
but at the end of the day kids deserve to see both parents why does the other patent feel the need or the right to take that away from a child/children.
It does not do the parent any favours at the end if the day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A girl I know is going through a high conflict divorce ... Her ex has now got their son living with him just through lies about her and bad mouthing. Son refuses to talk to her at all.
Anyone ever heard of this before ,been through it or advice I could pass on ? "
thts awful!how old is the son? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been through this myself, havnt seen my daughter in almost 2 years.
I can tell you from my experience its more helpful to have someone who listens than someone who likes to talk.
For yourself my advice would be to remember theres three sides to every story, yours, there's and the truth. |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Been through this myself, havnt seen my daughter in almost 2 years.
I can tell you from my experience its more helpful to have someone who listens than someone who likes to talk.
For yourself my advice would be to remember theres three sides to every story, yours, there's and the truth."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been through this myself, havnt seen my daughter in almost 2 years.
I can tell you from my experience its more helpful to have someone who listens than someone who likes to talk.
For yourself my advice would be to remember theres three sides to every story, yours, there's and the truth."
how cum u havent seen her in her in 2 yrs?surely no one can stop u frm seeing yur own child??? |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Been through this myself, havnt seen my daughter in almost 2 years.
I can tell you from my experience its more helpful to have someone who listens than someone who likes to talk.
For yourself my advice would be to remember theres three sides to every story, yours, there's and the truth.
how cum u havent seen her in her in 2 yrs?surely no one can stop u frm seeing yur own child???"
classy it can happen my ex tried it for a while till i got a court date. i would turn up to collect my daughter and be told no and she could see me and i could see her crying after me. but thats all in the past now thank god |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been through this myself, havnt seen my daughter in almost 2 years.
I can tell you from my experience its more helpful to have someone who listens than someone who likes to talk.
For yourself my advice would be to remember theres three sides to every story, yours, there's and the truth.
how cum u havent seen her in her in 2 yrs?surely no one can stop u frm seeing yur own child???"
I wasnt prepared to keep putting her in the middle of the pettiness,she deserves better.
It breaks my heart not to see her but i couldnt put her or myself through anymore of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been through this myself, havnt seen my daughter in almost 2 years.
I can tell you from my experience its more helpful to have someone who listens than someone who likes to talk.
For yourself my advice would be to remember theres three sides to every story, yours, there's and the truth.
how cum u havent seen her in her in 2 yrs?surely no one can stop u frm seeing yur own child???
classy it can happen my ex tried it for a while till i got a court date. i would turn up to collect my daughter and be told no and she could see me and i could see her crying after me. but thats all in the past now thank god"
thts awful!i split with my sons father when he was a baby but i wudnt dream of ever stopping him frm seeing his son!if the child finds out the mother or father stopped him/her frm seeing their other parent when they get older they will only end up resenting the other parent! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been through this myself, havnt seen my daughter in almost 2 years.
I can tell you from my experience its more helpful to have someone who listens than someone who likes to talk.
For yourself my advice would be to remember theres three sides to every story, yours, there's and the truth."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been through this myself, havnt seen my daughter in almost 2 years.
I can tell you from my experience its more helpful to have someone who listens than someone who likes to talk.
For yourself my advice would be to remember theres three sides to every story, yours, there's and the truth.
how cum u havent seen her in her in 2 yrs?surely no one can stop u frm seeing yur own child???
I wasnt prepared to keep putting her in the middle of the pettiness,she deserves better.
It breaks my heart not to see her but i couldnt put her or myself through anymore of it."
using a child as a weapon is cruel and just shows what type of person the mother is!the child will only end up hating her in the end! |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Been through this myself, havnt seen my daughter in almost 2 years.
I can tell you from my experience its more helpful to have someone who listens than someone who likes to talk.
For yourself my advice would be to remember theres three sides to every story, yours, there's and the truth.
how cum u havent seen her in her in 2 yrs?surely no one can stop u frm seeing yur own child???
classy it can happen my ex tried it for a while till i got a court date. i would turn up to collect my daughter and be told no and she could see me and i could see her crying after me. but thats all in the past now thank god
thts awful!i split with my sons father when he was a baby but i wudnt dream of ever stopping him frm seeing his son!if the child finds out the mother or father stopped him/her frm seeing their other parent when they get older they will only end up resenting the other parent!"
yep thast why i have never told mine about the struggles i had to just see her but have kept all the proof for if theres any questions from her in the future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont know what age,the child is but teenagers have a tough time in dealing with their own emotions in the firsy place. Let alone when they're torn between 2 parents. There is no solution other then let time heal all wounds. Im going through a tough time myself and my ekdest daughter doesnt talk to me some days. And she lives with me!!! She has enough on her own plate
I just give her space but it hurst..... |
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"Do some self councilling with the help of Byron Katie so she can bide her time and cope and eventually come out on top. 99.9% of my forum posts are not serious but I mean this one. "
.
Byron katies, "the work" is not about coming out on top.its about learning about yourself and what can make you truly happy.to say a person would be happy waiting in the long grass waiting to get it over on someone else means you obviously didnt get the essential points she makes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a child ,my siblings and I were also used as tools in a very nasty and vicious divorce
None of us have ever forgiven out mother for not fighting hard enough see us
We felt abandoned
Yes we are adults now and do understand that things were really bad back then, but not one of us can get past the fact she stopped trying, and built a new life
Support your friend. Tell her/him to never stop trying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been their.
Its hard tell them to never give up hope.
Go and do anything they can do to get to see their son.
If it has to come down to it go to access centres To see him.
It can be long and hard but never lose sight off why you are doing it.
Kids needs two parents |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont know what age,the child is but teenagers have a tough time in dealing with their own emotions in the firsy place. Let alone when they're torn between 2 parents. There is no solution other then let time heal all wounds. Im going through a tough time myself and my ekdest daughter doesnt talk to me some days. And she lives with me!!! She has enough on her own plate
I just give her space but it hurst....."
Nice when you get an odd flicker of the person they were though. Hubs told me to think of it as a chrysalis stage, my baby went into it & after the mute, ugly stage hopefully a beautiful butterfly will emerge.
(hope that wasn't too sickly for a Tuesday afternoon) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A girl I know is going through a high conflict divorce ... Her ex has now got their son living with him just through lies about her and bad mouthing. Son refuses to talk to her at all.
Anyone ever heard of this before ,been through it or advice I could pass on ? "
The information you have given is a bit vague, but in the experience I have had it takes a hell of a lot for social workers to give custody to the father, lies and bad mouthing will not suffice as there has to be facts and evidence. You can only be there for your friend but i wouldn't be willing to advise her on what to do to get custody back just to be there experience her no matter what the outcome of any case is. |
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