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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man gets into a black cab in Belfast city centre and says to the driver "Ladas drive please"
Driver says " you'll sit in the back like everyone else""
Well I thought it was funny but then I know where Ladas Drive is. Don't reckon too many people outside of East Belfast wikl have a clue what ur on about  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Man gets into a black cab in Belfast city centre and says to the driver "Ladas drive please"
Driver says " you'll sit in the back like everyone else"
Well I thought it was funny but then I know where Ladas Drive is. Don't reckon too many people outside of East Belfast wikl have a clue what ur on about "
fair point lol. I was there today and always liked that joke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I didn't feel a thing  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I
didn't feel a thing "
lmao |
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I saw David Moyes in a restaurant earlier, "Keep your chin up David," I told him, "It was never going to be easy taking over from Sir Alex, but I hope you'll be leading Utd for the next 20 years."
"Thanks very much," he replied, "That means a lot. How long have you been a supporter."
"As long as I can remember Dave," I said. "I'm Liverpool through and through." |
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As the cell door slams behind Rolf Harris, the lights instantly go out, and he collapses to the floor with his head in his hands, sobbing.
Then, in the pitch black, he hears a rich Jamaican baritone voice, which starts to sing; "Do you think I can leave you crying, when there's room in my bunk for two? |
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Teacher asks the kids in class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Billy says, "I wanna be a billionaire, have a beautiful bitch on my arm, give her a Ferrari, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel the world, a 200 ft yacht, an infinite visa card and I wanna screw her 3 times a day..."
The teacher, in shock, ignores the boy and turns to little Nancy and asks, " What about you dear?"
"I wanna be Billy's bitch!" |
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Text from daughter to mum.
Hello mum need some advise. I have some of my boyfriends cum stuck in my hair, how do I get it out, will I have to cut it out?
Text from mum to daughter.
No you won't have to cut it out, I've had loads of cum in my hair over the years and it will just wash out.
Daughter back to mum.
Oh My God, I meant to spell Gum. |
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lol
