"This place is PACKED with neurodiverse people. If you're struggling to get a meet then there are probably other reasons "
I've met people alright. I was just wondering about it. I try to be as honest as possible and was just curious if it would put people off. |
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God no. My ex husband had ADHD- every day was fun and interesting and he seen the world differently to me which I loved and our sex life was unreal- frickin electric. He challenged my mind often. There are certain sectors full of Neurospicy people- IT, Pharma, Medicine. It’s their loss if they ghost. |
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No, in fact most of the people I know are ND of some kind. Including me!
My partner has ADHD, he's much worse than me. Can lead to some unforseen situations and frustrations but sure it makes life interesting |
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"Never has! Someone off their bin on god knows what puts me off alot quicker "
Me: off my bin on prescribed, regulated and monitored drugs. Lol!
My conditions are in my profile and it's one of the first things I tell people because I ( and my brain and my inner children) do weird things which I never see coming...unfortunately.
But if I can embrace the weirdness and my partners can embrace the weirdness, we are all good.
I understand that I won't be everyone's cup of tea so I give them fair warning especially on my profile.
Sometimes during sex I get overstimulated (last night I went dizzy and couldn't move) so whoever I'm with has to not freak out or view it as a personal rejection. It could happen anywhere at anytime with anyone because I find modern life in general overstimulating/triggering. |
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"I just look at it as part of a spectrum that everyone is on."
This isn't clinically true though. Not everyone is on the spectrum and everyone can't be on the spectrum.
The criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder is pretty specific. You can be on that spectrum if your autistic but otherwise it's just people thinking that single behavioural traits resemble neuro divergent disorders and this the phrase 'everyone is on the spectrum' was born. |
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"I just look at it as part of a spectrum that everyone is on."
Ummm...I think people who are neurodivergent don't like that: "Everyone is on a spectrum" I say I think because although I have the diagnosis, I'm still learning.
It gives the impression that we are wholly accepted in society which we are not and it literally stops us functioning.
It's a bit like
saying "I don't see colour" when someone talks about the harm they have experienced due to their skin
or saying "everyone is a bit gay" when someone talks about the harm they have experienced due to their sexual or gender orientation.
or saying "everyone's a bit mental" when some of us end up in hospital on section. |
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"I just look at it as part of a spectrum that everyone is on.
This isn't clinically true though. Not everyone is on the spectrum and everyone can't be on the spectrum.
The criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder is pretty specific. You can be on that spectrum if your autistic but otherwise it's just people thinking that single behavioural traits resemble neuro divergent disorders and this the phrase 'everyone is on the spectrum' was born."
Good description of the clinical side. There's little to no clinical intervention on the NHS for late diagnosed autistics so I'm flying solo on figuring out myself and the autistic community.
yeah I felt like I couldn't claim it without a diagnosis so I would say that I have autistic traits. I know autistic group do accept people without a confirmed diagnosis but for my personal self-validation I needed to know if I had the diagnosis or not.
I feel like I have ADHD traits but I don't think I have full ADHD..I don't need meds which I think is a blessing. I know someone diagnosed with both and their daily life is a bigger battle than the one I have. They can't work at all. I'm able to do part-time work with reasonable adjustments. |
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Who's to say what is or isn't neurodiverse? It just means that a person is not aligned to the societal average. It doesn't necessarily mean there is anything wrong with them.
That's just my opinion though. |
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"Does someone being neurodiverse put you off meeting with them. "
I thought being neuro diverse wasn't a medical condition or am I missing something? I always understood it to be people who think that everyone is different in terms of how there brain and thought process operate?
That there is no 'correct' way to think or view situations?
I think most people think this way, especially as we see how some people with AHDH and Autism can function at a level most of us can only dream of. Elon Musk for example. |
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There are very specific criterias laid out in the "Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders" shortened to DSM-5 which are used to diagnose Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). You are not on the autism spectrum if you don't meet this criteria. There is no flexibility here you either meet the criteria or you don't |
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"Does someone being neurodiverse put you off meeting with them.
I thought being neuro diverse wasn't a medical condition or am I missing something? I always understood it to be people who think that everyone is different in terms of how there brain and thought process operate?
That there is no 'correct' way to think or view situations?
I think most people think this way, especially as we see how some people with AHDH and Autism can function at a level most of us can only dream of. Elon Musk for example. "
Neurodivergent people who are born to rich and upper-middle-class people usually have enough financial and social support to realise their strengths.
Bill Gates and Elon Musk were already born into wealthy and highly educated family.
If you saw how children who are neurodivergent but live at or below the poverty line struggle, you would not compare them to those who have enough funds to access support for the condition.
It's not only about the thought process. It's also about barriers to the thought process. |
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Sadly that is also the case over here as those with the resources to pay for private diagnosis can avail of resources years before those who have to wait for massively overstretched public testing. |
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I don't have a problem if it's real. Have seen people say their on the spectrum but not so using it to get away with bad behaviour.
This brings trouble to the real cases and makes their life harder. But karma can be a bitch so always remember who and what lied about. |
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"I don't have a problem if it's real. Have seen people say their on the spectrum but not so using it to get away with bad behaviour.
This brings trouble to the real cases and makes their life harder. But karma can be a bitch so always remember who and what lied about. "
If they are diagnosed it's real. It's that simple. The testing is very comprehensive. |
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"There are very specific criterias laid out in the "Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders" shortened to DSM-5 which are used to diagnose Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). You are not on the autism spectrum if you don't meet this criteria. There is no flexibility here you either meet the criteria or you don't "
For adults they use ADOS-G and ADI-R. I'm diagnosed using the ADOS-G model. Autism by many is seen as a disability, I do t consider myself to be disabled which is why I would describe myself as neuro divergent. |
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"I don't have a problem if it's real. Have seen people say their on the spectrum but not so using it to get away with bad behaviour
Being on the spectrum still does not excuse bad behavior imo.
"
You do realise that being autistic does actually result in behavior issues for lots of those diagnosed. |
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"I don't have a problem if it's real. Have seen people say their on the spectrum but not so using it to get away with bad behaviour
Being on the spectrum still does not excuse bad behavior imo.
"
Disruptive behaviour as a result of diagnosed mental health disorder wouldn't necessarily be 'bad' behaviour even though it results in a bad experience for those affected. People with disabilities rarely make excuses and often times may not even be aware.
That said, you'd have to be a real dick to excuse being an asshole because you know you can get away with it just by saying 'sorry I have tourettes you cunt!'
It's an interesting conversation though. What is permissable and where do we have our own boundaries? I'm sure teachers, sna's and parents would have a wealth of knowledge on the subject. |
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"Does someone being neurodiverse put you off meeting with them. "
Absolutely not- if anything, me and my wife would be more inclined to engage as it's often easier to talk to someone who has shared experience and is cognizant of masking. That and fellow ND loathing for small talk, which a lot of NT people seem to revel in 🫠 |
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