I think this topic comes up every so often but was it was on my mind and wanted to throw it out there again.
I had a ghosting experience about this time last year and although it was no big deal (is what it is and people do it) I was surprised at how much it affected me. Way beyond the proportion of what it deserved in terms of the amount of time I’d known the people and the actual depth of the connection we had (not very much).
Wondering, for who have experienced it, if it had a significant impact and how they managed.. |
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Happens bro, don't take it personally.
Personally speaking, I understand it because it means you don't need to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone and I certainly understand it in this environment given there are some very pushy people on here and no ones got time for that shit.
Personally speaking, if its someone I've been speaking to for a while, I'd say it to them simply from a manners perspective.
Also, don't confuse ghosting (repeated non-reply) of someone who you were speaking to with someone simply not reaching out. People are busy and if they want, they will.
If they don't, doesn't matter anyway.
But most importantly, don't let it get you down. Shit happens and no point dwelling on it. |
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I mean it's hard not to take it personally but the way I see it is that if they ghost you once, they ghost plenty which probably means they weren't worth your time. When somebody treats you poorly, that says more about them than you. |
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A long term friend of about 15 years just disappeared about 6 months ago. Sent a few messages with no response despite them being opened. Took the hint. Absolutely no idea why it happened.
I'm sure they had reasons and that's fair enough. Bothered me for a while because there was no closure but gotta just move on. |
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By *evin86Man 3 days ago
South Dublin |
"I mean it's hard not to take it personally but the way I see it is that if they ghost you once, they ghost plenty which probably means they weren't worth your time. When somebody treats you poorly, that says more about them than you."
This is a very good way of looking at it.
It is incredibly annoying when it happens and sometimes hard not to take personally.
It has happened to me so many times now I've just learned to cope with it and just move on. In my mind it's their loss.
It's worse when it happens after a week or so of meessaging, sharing personal pics, things going great having a bit of a laugh etc. then they just vanish without reason or explanation.
A simple "sorry but your not for me", would be mean a lot, but if someone can't even do that their not worth your time and effort.
I once had a hotel booked for a meet and paid in advance over 200euro🙈 only to get ghosted on the day of the meet. That one hurt
Just block them and move on there are genuine people out there just not so easy to find it seems.
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By *s LollyWoman 3 days ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
I was chatting to someone for about 5 weeks he was to join me in my hotel for my birthday weekend, all good chatting away and the morning i was to drive up radio silence ended up spending the weekend on my own never heard from him since🤷 |
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"I was chatting to someone for about 5 weeks he was to join me in my hotel for my birthday weekend, all good chatting away and the morning i was to drive up radio silence ended up spending the weekend on my own never heard from him since🤷"
Well it is his loss big time not yours
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By *_05Man 3 days ago
D11 |
"I was chatting to someone for about 5 weeks he was to join me in my hotel for my birthday weekend, all good chatting away and the morning i was to drive up radio silence ended up spending the weekend on my own never heard from him since🤷"
Christ that's bad form, 5 weeks build up and then nothing and on your birthday to top it off  |
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By *_05Man 3 days ago
D11 |
"I mean it's hard not to take it personally but the way I see it is that if they ghost you once, they ghost plenty which probably means they weren't worth your time. When somebody treats you poorly, that says more about them than you.
This is a very good way of looking at it.
It is incredibly annoying when it happens and sometimes hard not to take personally.
It has happened to me so many times now I've just learned to cope with it and just move on. In my mind it's their loss.
It's worse when it happens after a week or so of meessaging, sharing personal pics, things going great having a bit of a laugh etc. then they just vanish without reason or explanation.
A simple "sorry but your not for me", would be mean a lot, but if someone can't even do that their not worth your time and effort.
I once had a hotel booked for a meet and paid in advance over 200euro🙈 only to get ghosted on the day of the meet. That one hurt
Just block them and move on there are genuine people out there just not so easy to find it seems.
"
They never said anything about you spending 200 euro? that is shocking! |
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"I was chatting to someone for about 5 weeks he was to join me in my hotel for my birthday weekend, all good chatting away and the morning i was to drive up radio silence ended up spending the weekend on my own never heard from him since🤷 Well it is his loss big time not yours"
Fuck me!!!now that's ghosting to another level!!!!what a cunt!!!!🫣 I hope you reported him at least! |
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Here ..& in real life ... ghosters & timewasters are ..to put it mildly..the worst of the worst...sad thing is you don't know it's gonna happen until you go through it & experience it , not one bit nice..l can only hope that they experienced exactly what they did to others. |
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"Here ..& in real life ... ghosters & timewasters are ..to put it mildly..the worst of the worst...sad thing is you don't know it's gonna happen until you go through it & experience it , not one bit nice..l can only hope that they experienced exactly what they did to others."
I did it once and can say it's one of my biggest regrets. I think about it often despite it being a long time ago and hate myself for doing it. I'm sure not everybody feels as guilty about doing it as I do.
I've had it done plenty to me too so I know it's awful. |
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By *s LollyWoman 3 days ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
"Here ..& in real life ... ghosters & timewasters are ..to put it mildly..the worst of the worst...sad thing is you don't know it's gonna happen until you go through it & experience it , not one bit nice..l can only hope that they experienced exactly what they did to others.I did it once and can say it's one of my biggest regrets. I think about it often despite it being a long time ago and hate myself for doing it. I'm sure not everybody feels as guilty about doing it as I do.
I've had it done plenty to me too so I know it's awful. "
At least you seen the error of your way, most don't especially on here, the lad that ghosted me commented on a thread a few weeks later saying it's hard for genuine lads to get a meet 🙄 |
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"Here ..& in real life ... ghosters & timewasters are ..to put it mildly..the worst of the worst...sad thing is you don't know it's gonna happen until you go through it & experience it , not one bit nice..l can only hope that they experienced exactly what they did to others.I did it once and can say it's one of my biggest regrets. I think about it often despite it being a long time ago and hate myself for doing it. I'm sure not everybody feels as guilty about doing it as I do.
I've had it done plenty to me too so I know it's awful.
At least you seen the error of your way, most don't especially on here, the lad that ghosted me commented on a thread a few weeks later saying it's hard for genuine lads to get a meet 🙄"
Can't believe the sheer lack of self awareness of some people. To actually say that afterwards really takes the biscuit.
In my situation, I didn't bail on a meeting or anything thankfully. Once I've committed to something, only death or missing limbs would stop me. |
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God there’s some terrible stories here! Really feel for ye!! Especially booking the hotel and on a birthday!! 😞
Mine wasn’t as bad. We’d met. It was a great time. We were continued talking, they were doing a lot of the contacting. Then just before the next meet they just disappeared.
get I might have done something or that my impression of the first meet could be totally wrong and they could find a way of saying. It’s just I can’t see what I did. I completely understand you can dwell on things and need to move on like everyone says but it doesn’t stop you from thinking about it from time to time. If they’d explained I prob wouldn’t |
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By *evin86Man 2 days ago
South Dublin |
"
They never said anything about you spending 200 euro? that is shocking!"
Nope not a word, and they seemed so into it on the lead up. Lesson learned always get free cancellation😉
Another time I had a couple on to me on new years eve, they wanted to meet just after 12 so I decided to cancel my plans and ring in the new year with them. They went silent around midnight 😕
I woke up the next morning to a message at 4:30am saying "can you come now"
It was over an hour's drive away too.
They made all the promises in the world that we'd make up for it and meet again etc. but I never heard from them again🙄 |
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By *ataWoman 2 days ago
Neverland |
Happened to me last Sunday. We were talking for a few days and arranged a video call for verification purposes before potentially meeting on Tuesday. Asked if I was ready for the call, I answered when you are, because perfect and I’ve never heard from him again! It bothered me for maybe a day but then I move on. Plenty of fish in the sea 😏
I’ve wasted €400 in 2 hotel meets that never showed up so now I never book the hotel. Never again |
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"Happened to me last Sunday. We were talking for a few days and arranged a video call for verification purposes before potentially meeting on Tuesday. Asked if I was ready for the call, I answered when you are, because perfect and I’ve never heard from him again! It bothered me for maybe a day but then I move on. Plenty of fish in the sea 😏
I’ve wasted €400 in 2 hotel meets that never showed up so now I never book the hotel. Never again "
In all fairness, If you've been Ghosted....they must have been crazy.
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By *ataWoman 2 days ago
Neverland |
"Happened to me last Sunday. We were talking for a few days and arranged a video call for verification purposes before potentially meeting on Tuesday. Asked if I was ready for the call, I answered when you are, because perfect and I’ve never heard from him again! It bothered me for maybe a day but then I move on. Plenty of fish in the sea 😏
I’ve wasted €400 in 2 hotel meets that never showed up so now I never book the hotel. Never again
In all fairness, If you've been Ghosted....they must have been crazy.
"
No one is immune. Nothing special about me. |
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"Happened to me last Sunday. We were talking for a few days and arranged a video call for verification purposes before potentially meeting on Tuesday. Asked if I was ready for the call, I answered when you are, because perfect and I’ve never heard from him again! It bothered me for maybe a day but then I move on. Plenty of fish in the sea 😏
I’ve wasted €400 in 2 hotel meets that never showed up so now I never book the hotel. Never again
In all fairness, If you've been Ghosted....they must have been crazy.
No one is immune. Nothing special about me. "
There is from where I'm looking..lol |
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"Happened to me last Sunday. We were talking for a few days and arranged a video call for verification purposes before potentially meeting on Tuesday. Asked if I was ready for the call, I answered when you are, because perfect and I’ve never heard from him again! It bothered me for maybe a day but then I move on. Plenty of fish in the sea 😏
I’ve wasted €400 in 2 hotel meets that never showed up so now I never book the hotel. Never again
In all fairness, If you've been Ghosted....they must have been crazy.
No one is immune. Nothing special about me.
There is from where I'm looking..lol"
I agree. crazy! But maybe nerves? |
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By *studdMan 2 days ago
wexford/dublin |
I have been ghosted and people pulling out morning of (don’t think they ever intended on showing). Unfortunately I think it’s killed my trust in people on here and I may be a bit off putting when I seek assurances about how genuine they are but I don’t regret that |
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By *s LollyWoman 2 days ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
"I have been ghosted and people pulling out morning of (don’t think they ever intended on showing). Unfortunately I think it’s killed my trust in people on here and I may be a bit off putting when I seek assurances about how genuine they are but I don’t regret that "
Im kinda the same way to many time's ive had no shows i don't trust many still.... |
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By *ataWoman 2 days ago
Neverland |
"Happened to me last Sunday. We were talking for a few days and arranged a video call for verification purposes before potentially meeting on Tuesday. Asked if I was ready for the call, I answered when you are, because perfect and I’ve never heard from him again! It bothered me for maybe a day but then I move on. Plenty of fish in the sea 😏
I’ve wasted €400 in 2 hotel meets that never showed up so now I never book the hotel. Never again
In all fairness, If you've been Ghosted....they must have been crazy.
No one is immune. Nothing special about me.
There is from where I'm looking..lol
I agree. crazy! But maybe nerves?"
Possibly. Nothing to be nervous about though. I’m just another horny woman  |
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