FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Im here with my partner's permission 🤔
Im here with my partner's permission 🤔
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By *s Lolly OP Woman 2 weeks ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
Ive zero interest in couples or meeting part of one, it's the single male/female profile's that have on their bio that their here with permission from their partner, if your meeting someone with that on their profile do you just take their word or how do ye check??🤔 |
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My hubby was on here with my permission before, and I seem to recall someone wanting proof so he took a photo of me holding a piece of paper saying that.. in the same way you verify yourself on here... |
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"The way i look at it is just cause it has it on the profile dosent make it true 🤷"
Can't argue with that, but its personal choice how far down the rabbit hole of confirming that you want to go. I wouldn't do more than a question ask and a 10 second profile glance personally. |
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By *s Lolly OP Woman 2 weeks ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
"I get couple's can confirm it's the single male/female profile's im more curious about...
Who’s permission do I have to get to meet you Lolly? "
Ye must suffer from memory loss we've met twice ✌️😂😝 |
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How can you check ? I'd imagine most would think by putting that it would give them more chances of meeting. Red flag can't accommodate, but really for safety it shouldn't be a red flag. And in all fairness can you really trust someone on the Internet that has no loyalty to you to say its true. |
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By * BlackMan 2 weeks ago
Laois/ Dublin |
A pinch of salt with what anyone says here or any site like this.
If its true and a person has "Permission" I think the openess and transparency will naturally be there. Ethical Non-monogamist try to take everyone in to consideration. Nobody wants hassel or drama when deciding to play with a person who has a primary partner
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By *og-ManMan 2 weeks ago
somewhere |
I presume if it's the male half of a couple on fab then it can be fairly easy to check via existing veri or with the female account
That still leaves 2 issues
New couple profiles and single men
Would you go as far as to ask to speak to their female partner first |
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Ah this is a tough one, my partner was here as I am with my permission, she wanted his phone number, all socials etc. She then found me and messaged me explaining what fab is etc and i'd verified him. He was put off here. I take people at there word and tend to be a good judge of character. |
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By *s Lolly OP Woman 2 weeks ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
I met someone recently who had the previous week met a lady(single profile)he dosent meet attached people unless with permission, she did have that stated on her profile i asked how do you know she has permission, he responded cause she said she has and it's on her bio 🤷 |
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"I met someone recently who had the previous week met a lady(single profile)he dosent meet attached people unless with permission, she did have that stated on her profile i asked how do you know she has permission, he responded cause she said she has and it's on her bio 🤷"
That's a perfectly reasonable response in my opinion. |
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By *s Lolly OP Woman 2 weeks ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
"I met someone recently who had the previous week met a lady(single profile)he dosent meet attached people unless with permission, she did have that stated on her profile i asked how do you know she has permission, he responded cause she said she has and it's on her bio 🤷
That's a perfectly reasonable response in my opinion."
Im not as easy swayed like i said above just cause ye say it dosent make it true im more sceptical.... |
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Call me uncaring if you like but I honestly don't care. The only thing in that scenario that concerns me is the possibility of drama and I think I'd judge the liklihood of that from the person themselves. After that they can sort out their own martial issues themselves. |
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I am honest on my profile about being married and if people are attached I feel they should also be honest about it and let people decide whether to meet them or not.
If I get bad vibes, I stop contact.  |
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"I met someone recently who had the previous week met a lady(single profile)he dosent meet attached people unless with permission, she did have that stated on her profile i asked how do you know she has permission, he responded cause she said she has and it's on her bio 🤷
That's a perfectly reasonable response in my opinion.
Im not as easy swayed like i said above just cause ye say it dosent make it true im more sceptical.... "
I think that response is reasonable. That's not to say it's for 100% sure they aren't lying. It's also reasonable for you to need a higher level of proof if that is your comfort level. Different people obviously have differing standards of proof, and that's to be expected. |
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"Call me uncaring if you like but I honestly don't care. The only thing in that scenario that concerns me is the possibility of drama and I think I'd judge the liklihood of that from the person themselves. After that they can sort out their own martial issues themselves. "
I'm also in the "don't really care" camp. Drama isn't the sole preserve of those playing solo, with or without permission, so I tend to judge the potential for it on an individual basis, including couples who are here together. |
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"Ah this is a tough one, my partner was here as I am with my permission, she wanted his phone number, all socials etc. She then found me and messaged me explaining what fab is etc and i'd verified him. He was put off here. I take people at there word and tend to be a good judge of character. "
Jaysus, I don't give my full name to anyone here nevermind my 'socials'  |
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I notice it more on profiles.
My thoughts on it are single male profiles couldn't get on with pretending to be single. Only messaging at certain times and behaving quite shady at others, unable to find time to meet etc. The next step was to say they were attached and soon learned there wasn't much of an appetite for that either. Then they began to see ENM and Poly and "on here with permission" being floated around and thought they'd add that as it's much more palatable and people probably wouldn't question it.
From year dot people have been here for extra curricular activities and they've done ok here on fab whatever their gender or sexuality. Is it enough to say "here with permission?" For some it is, they know then that there is a significant other.
I'm all for informed decision making. There's nothing as bad as finding out about partners after the deed is done which happens a lot on fab.
For those who are in ENM relationships there is a huge difference in those conversations. The love they have for their primary partner will always be to the fore as with those in poly relationships. You know exactly where you stand from the off, there's far higher level of respect for everone involved.
There's many reasons why attached people are here and honestly I couldn't care less why.
It's an interesting debate, and no doubt my input will probably annoy.
I also think the majority of single men are awesome. Stay shiny x
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"I notice it more on profiles.
My thoughts on it are single male profiles couldn't get on with pretending to be single. Only messaging at certain times and behaving quite shady at others, unable to find time to meet etc. The next step was to say they were attached and soon learned there wasn't much of an appetite for that either. Then they began to see ENM and Poly and "on here with permission" being floated around and thought they'd add that as it's much more palatable and people probably wouldn't question it.
From year dot people have been here for extra curricular activities and they've done ok here on fab whatever their gender or sexuality. Is it enough to say "here with permission?" For some it is, they know then that there is a significant other.
I'm all for informed decision making. There's nothing as bad as finding out about partners after the deed is done which happens a lot on fab.
For those who are in ENM relationships there is a huge difference in those conversations. The love they have for their primary partner will always be to the fore as with those in poly relationships. You know exactly where you stand from the off, there's far higher level of respect for everone involved.
There's many reasons why attached people are here and honestly I couldn't care less why.
It's an interesting debate, and no doubt my input will probably annoy.
I also think the majority of single men are awesome. Stay shiny x
"
I don't think that could annoy anyone as we all have our own views on it.
What I would add though is that just because someone is here without permission, thereby showing disrespect to their partner, I wouldnt automatically take that to mean that they don't love their partner.
Yes, I can hear the "well you've a funny way of showing it" calls coming already but sex, and lack of it, can drive people in ways that those who aren't denied it can never fully understand. Love isn't a straight line or black and white issue either. |
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"The way i look at it is just cause it has it on the profile doesn't make it true 🤷"
·
If you're resolute with your convictions and principles then simply disregard that person/profile and move on.
If a woman with whom I was chatting to, and getting on rather well in every way, asked for proof of my marital/singleton status - I would tell her to take a hike. She either believes me or she doesn't. |
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We don't judge people on here never have never will, we get our own vibes of a profile, if there's a story which doesn't add up we walk away no questions asked don't need that bs in our lives , here for fun when something isn't going to be fun and cause issues then it not fun, simple as that. |
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"I notice it more on profiles.
My thoughts on it are single male profiles couldn't get on with pretending to be single. Only messaging at certain times and behaving quite shady at others, unable to find time to meet etc. The next step was to say they were attached and soon learned there wasn't much of an appetite for that either. Then they began to see ENM and Poly and "on here with permission" being floated around and thought they'd add that as it's much more palatable and people probably wouldn't question it.
From year dot people have been here for extra curricular activities and they've done ok here on fab whatever their gender or sexuality. Is it enough to say "here with permission?" For some it is, they know then that there is a significant other.
I'm all for informed decision making. There's nothing as bad as finding out about partners after the deed is done which happens a lot on fab.
For those who are in ENM relationships there is a huge difference in those conversations. The love they have for their primary partner will always be to the fore as with those in poly relationships. You know exactly where you stand from the off, there's far higher level of respect for everone involved.
There's many reasons why attached people are here and honestly I couldn't care less why.
It's an interesting debate, and no doubt my input will probably annoy.
I also think the majority of single men are awesome. Stay shiny x
I don't think that could annoy anyone as we all have our own views on it.
What I would add though is that just because someone is here without permission, thereby showing disrespect to their partner, I wouldnt automatically take that to mean that they don't love their partner.
Yes, I can hear the "well you've a funny way of showing it" calls coming already but sex, and lack of it, can drive people in ways that those who aren't denied it can never fully understand. Love isn't a straight line or black and white issue either. "
I appreciate that Michael and I realise relationships are rarely black and white or easy.
I think the point I was trying to make is it can be glaringly obvious in conversations when someone is saying they have permission when they don't, compares to those who actually are in open, ENM relationships. Some are using these lines to hoodwink, so to speak.
I'm far from perfect and I'd hate to fall into that trap of projecting perfection on anyone else regarding what they do on fab or how they like to portray themselves on here.
We can all appreciate making informed decisions 🙂 |
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"I notice it more on profiles.
My thoughts on it are single male profiles couldn't get on with pretending to be single. Only messaging at certain times and behaving quite shady at others, unable to find time to meet etc. The next step was to say they were attached and soon learned there wasn't much of an appetite for that either. Then they began to see ENM and Poly and "on here with permission" being floated around and thought they'd add that as it's much more palatable and people probably wouldn't question it.
From year dot people have been here for extra curricular activities and they've done ok here on fab whatever their gender or sexuality. Is it enough to say "here with permission?" For some it is, they know then that there is a significant other.
I'm all for informed decision making. There's nothing as bad as finding out about partners after the deed is done which happens a lot on fab.
For those who are in ENM relationships there is a huge difference in those conversations. The love they have for their primary partner will always be to the fore as with those in poly relationships. You know exactly where you stand from the off, there's far higher level of respect for everone involved.
There's many reasons why attached people are here and honestly I couldn't care less why.
It's an interesting debate, and no doubt my input will probably annoy.
I also think the majority of single men are awesome. Stay shiny x
I don't think that could annoy anyone as we all have our own views on it.
What I would add though is that just because someone is here without permission, thereby showing disrespect to their partner, I wouldnt automatically take that to mean that they don't love their partner.
Yes, I can hear the "well you've a funny way of showing it" calls coming already but sex, and lack of it, can drive people in ways that those who aren't denied it can never fully understand. Love isn't a straight line or black and white issue either.
I appreciate that Michael and I realise relationships are rarely black and white or easy.
I think the point I was trying to make is it can be glaringly obvious in conversations when someone is saying they have permission when they don't, compares to those who actually are in open, ENM relationships. Some are using these lines to hoodwink, so to speak.
I'm far from perfect and I'd hate to fall into that trap of projecting perfection on anyone else regarding what they do on fab or how they like to portray themselves on here.
We can all appreciate making informed decisions 🙂"
I hear ya. It's always best to be open with people. |
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"Ive zero interest in couples or meeting part of one, it's the single male/female profile's that have on their bio that their here with permission from their partner, if your meeting someone with that on their profile do you just take their word or how do ye check??🤔"
I don't check...I am not on fab to look for love, boyfriend, fiancé or husband... I don't judge anyone, everyone has their reasons and their conscience which guides them... |
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Hmm, it's hard to tell.
Personally I have it that I'm separated on my bio. If someone is messaging me and asks, I'm more than willing to explain the situation. No one has asked for more proof from me at this point though. |
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