I’ve met a good few on this site and have had lots of fun, however I feel as of late I can’t find what I’m looking for (sure there are a few I’m talking to that I am vibing with but) overwhelmingly it feels over the past 6 months there is very few guys or girls I want to meet up with. Is it this way for everyone? Does this just happen when you have been here for two years+? Am I too picky?
What is it like for everyone else
Xx B |
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By *s LollyWoman 6 weeks ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
Im the same, im here just over 10yrs but like you over the last few months ive not really connected with anyone that im wanting to meet, mabey it's me being super picky there's no real rush to meet anyone, im chatting with one or two the vibe is good but no real voomp to really interest me 🤷 |
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"Im the same, im here just over 10yrs but like you over the last few months ive not really connected with anyone that im wanting to meet, mabey it's me being super picky there's no real rush to meet anyone, im chatting with one or two the vibe is good but no real voomp to really interest me 🤷"
Yeah I don’t know maybe it is that eh I’m not that assed like ahha I don’t know |
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There is a limited supply of people.
After you rule out people that match your preferences and people there is no attraction and spark with.
There also probably isn't as many new people joining as before with the likes of tinder, feeld, etc.. filling a gap for anonymous fuckery.
All things considered it makes sense people slow down here after a time |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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Could've written this myself.
I don't think it's that I'm being picky though necessarily, more like self respecting if you get me.
The level of effort in first messages has never been as bad.
Hey/Hi/Morning/How's you....
wouldn't dream of replying to such nonsense. Instant delete!
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"I think that's kinda normal, the initial 'kid in a candy shop' phase does pass
"
Yep, agree with this. After a while you go from overwhelmed to being seriously underwhelmed for various reasons. I like the socials which are like speed dating on steroids. Mrs  |
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I don't think you can be too picky. You want what you want. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. That can't be forced. I'm more than happy to hold out for those I really click with & I'd rather have one awesome encounter in a year than 12 lacklustre ones |
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By *anandJCouple 6 weeks ago
Citywest |
Every meet, social and party is a new experience and learning point. We learn not only about the Lifestyle but, above all, about ourselves.
With that in mind… yes- we are becoming „more picky”, but that’s a result of better understanding ignore needs and safety. It’s a very positive thing.. even tho, from time to time, you might think- jeez I’m not meeting people any more- but younwill and every meet will be better then the previous one… |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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You should only do what feels right to you. If youre picky that s just your head telling you not to settle for less than what you want. Having said that, the body wants what the body wants so it's at this point you have to decide if you want to compromise or hold firm. There's a balance in there somewhere but it's getting it to work out when normal life allows it. It's not easy but I'd stay picky unless your gagging for it. Hubba hubba an all that. |
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"Could've written this myself.
I don't think it's that I'm being picky though necessarily, more like self respecting if you get me.
The level of effort in first messages has never been as bad.
Hey/Hi/Morning/How's you....
wouldn't dream of replying to such nonsense. Instant delete!
"
Imagine, saying hello and asking how someone is. Crazy shit. Should just be straight in with dick pic I guess. And asking what someone likes, should just tell them what they like I suppose?????????????? |
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"Could've written this myself.
I don't think it's that I'm being picky though necessarily, more like self respecting if you get me.
The level of effort in first messages has never been as bad.
Hey/Hi/Morning/How's you....
wouldn't dream of replying to such nonsense. Instant delete!
Imagine, saying hello and asking how someone is. Crazy shit. Should just be straight in with dick pic I guess. And asking what someone likes, should just tell them what they like I suppose??????????????"
I think she more means that’s the whole message 😂. Just like Hi and that’s all. |
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It depends what you want,but for us we need attraction,as regards first messages have yet to figure that out, have sent complimentary 2 to 3 liners only to receive no reply, yet winks have sometimes led to exciting meets,so still learning
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I've always been picky from the first day I joined but even that didn't prepare me for a couple of bad experiences initially.
In the 9 years I've been here I've probably met between 60 and 70 people and half of those were at group socials.
Only 6 of those meetings ever went beyond a social and the ones that didn't were mostly my choice not to take it further.
I haven't met anyone new since 2020 for various reasons, one of which is being fussy as fuck. |
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"I’ve met a good few on this site and have had lots of fun, however I feel as of late I can’t find what I’m looking for (sure there are a few I’m talking to that I am vibing with but) overwhelmingly it feels over the past 6 months there is very few guys or girls I want to meet up with. Is it this way for everyone? Does this just happen when you have been here for two years+? Am I too picky?
What is it like for everyone else
Xx B"
That’s a very common issue, I’m from Chile and I have experience in swinger ( alone and with my couple) and it is exactly the same.
Some people go to places and never find what they are looking for. Or sometimes in the beginning is fun but then it turns into something different.
I guess if in Ireland swinging bars were common it will be very different |
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A lot of people become blasé about it, trying to hard to find what maybe is not out there for them.
Socials are fun to meet and greet and that suits a lot of people.
Having the craic and a few drinks but they never play, consequently they have more veries than I've had hot dinners.
Others are real players.
Big gatherings can become awkward for some.
I like hosting more intimate smaller gatherings.
Each to themselves it's what ever turns you on. |
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By * BlackMan 6 weeks ago
Laois/ Dublin |
Not sure about being picky or using that term but each to their own. I'm selective in my choice from experience.
I have preferences which are unique to who I am. like everyone else here.
I rarely compromise on them as I learned the hard way. Some adventures are best just not to go on.
Some people's expectations of the swinger lifestyle are way beyond what the lifestyle can and will deliver.
I personally prefer to filter out the non compatible humans and see how the rest are in real life.A lot of people don't transfer from online to reality.
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There are lots that are very active on here and many more that are active intermittently.
I think from when the clocks go back and it gets darker, colder and wetter people lose interest. Throw in the expense of Christmas and many aren't bothered.
For us when you throw in family life, personal life and work, any time for here is rare! |
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Op it could be that your just not feeling it at yhe moment no matter whom you meet perhaps a change of who your trying to meet or maybe a break from it all is what your subconscious is telling you. Maybe trying to hide your profile for a week or two might help get your mojo back as you want it. Apologies if it sounds like we're trying to put you off as that is furthest from the truth. Perhaps you need some you time |
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It's not picky to be looking for a connection that works. It's like a needle in a haystack. I know I definately go through stages where I just can't be bothered anymore.
Having just been through that stage we are trying to go back to where we were when we joined - the buzz and excitement of getting out and meeting new people with no expectations.
Mrs  |
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By *ilderMan 6 weeks ago
dublin |
"I think that's kinda normal, the initial 'kid in a candy shop' phase does pass
Yep, agree with this. After a while you go from overwhelmed to being seriously underwhelmed for various reasons. I like the socials which are like speed dating on steroids. Mrs "
Wait, you're on steroids? That explains a lot  |
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or maybe... I wonder if we become more and more picky because we have too many choices. We choose someone, we start to talk, but we want someone special, someone who stands out... we start to wonder what if we miss someone? We read hundreds of messages, we look through thousands of profiles ... with time they all start to be similar, there are no our ideals ... because ideals without any flaws do not exist and we all make mistakes sometimes... irritation and discouragement start to appear... |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"I’ve met a good few on this site and have had lots of fun, however I feel as of late I can’t find what I’m looking for (sure there are a few I’m talking to that I am vibing with but) overwhelmingly it feels over the past 6 months there is very few guys or girls I want to meet up with. Is it this way for everyone? Does this just happen when you have been here for two years+? Am I too picky?
What is it like for everyone else
Xx B"
Maybe time close this chapter if not feeling the vibe. |
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There is no such thing as being too picky.
Everyone should have standards and expectations and not settle for anything less.
If there is no attraction, spark, chemistry, an urge to push yourself outside of your comfort zone with someone, then just meeting for sex would kinda feel more transactional 🤔
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By *panishRebelMan 6 weeks ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
There's a season for everything op. Nothing wrong with being picky!
"I’ve met a good few on this site and have had lots of fun, however I feel as of late I can’t find what I’m looking for (sure there are a few I’m talking to that I am vibing with but) overwhelmingly it feels over the past 6 months there is very few guys or girls I want to meet up with. Is it this way for everyone? Does this just happen when you have been here for two years+? Am I too picky?
What is it like for everyone else
Xx B"
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"Could've written this myself.
I don't think it's that I'm being picky though necessarily, more like self respecting if you get me.
The level of effort in first messages has never been as bad.
Hey/Hi/Morning/How's you....
wouldn't dream of replying to such nonsense. Instant delete!
Imagine, saying hello and asking how someone is. Crazy shit. Should just be straight in with dick pic I guess. And asking what someone likes, should just tell them what they like I suppose??????????????
I think she more means that’s the whole message 😂. Just like Hi and that’s all. "
Isn't he a charm altogether! Lets form an orderly queue 🤣🤣🤣 |
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My needs have changed over the years I've been on here. I've had lots of meets, all good fun. But, I'm now more interested in a repeat meet, with less people, dare I say, just one. A special friend. FWB ?
So my filters would be Attractive, local-ish, has time for meeting, and good craic.
That narrows down the field quite a bit.
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I go through phases on here of not being arsed. It’s happened many a time over the course of my long existence on here and it can manifest itself in not seeing anyone that takes my fancy.
It’s likely to pass or you’ll spot someone who ticks all your boxes and fab will be a wonderful place again |
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"I’ve met a good few on this site and have had lots of fun, however I feel as of late I can’t find what I’m looking for (sure there are a few I’m talking to that I am vibing with but) overwhelmingly it feels over the past 6 months there is very few guys or girls I want to meet up with. Is it this way for everyone? Does this just happen when you have been here for two years+? Am I too picky?
What is it like for everyone else
Xx B"
No you're not being picky imho, it's your body & mind , if it don't feel right don't do anything for the sake of doing it. |
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I think more ignorant people are creeping in. Lots of picture hunters. Fake profiles. Or the likes of pretending to be couples when the guy is the only one available.
There’s a more shitty side to the general population too at the min. I think covid taught us lessons and we had a very lovely caring attitude that’s all evaporated lately. |
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Only you can decide if you're too picky. I like to keep my mind open to lots of people, I'm not going to find every lady on here super sexually attractive but (yes I know it's a sex site) if they only want me for sex, I'm not that keen. Plenty of lads on here would do anything for some sex, I'm not one of them. |
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Be as picky as you like, unless you're happy to play with anyone it's the right thing to do.
We feel things have gotten a bit quiet also, love socials but with Halloween and Xmas a lot have been themed over the latter half of last year and that puts us off. Results in a quiet social life. Hoping it picks up for spring. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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Just with the comments on time of year affecting interest, I did a quick Google and some studies attribute sunlight to higher vitamin D levels which results in higher testosterone which affect both men and women. The second point was warmer temperatures helping with increased blood flow and hence greater arousal and thirdly just been more relaxed in summer months because of holidays etc.
There might be some truth in it.
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