FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Newbies not getting chats
Newbies not getting chats
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I find it interesting that there are people on here that say they won't chat unless meet verified, but if you are new you can't get meet verified and for those who say try socials, not everyone has weekends to go to events. Single dad with his kids on the weekend can't go to social events. Just wondering if others have any other solutions. |
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"I find it interesting that there are people on here that say they won't chat unless meet verified, but if you are new you can't get meet verified and for those who say try socials, not everyone has weekends to go to events. Single dad with his kids on the weekend can't go to social events. Just wondering if others have any other solutions. "
Midweek socials? |
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"I find it interesting that there are people on here that say they won't chat unless meet verified, but if you are new you can't get meet verified and for those who say try socials, not everyone has weekends to go to events. Single dad with his kids on the weekend can't go to social events. Just wondering if others have any other solutions. "
Not everyone has heaps of spare time to endlessly chat to mostly flaky newbies, who will most likely let them down last minute.
From personal experience of offering dozens upon dozens of newbies a chance to meet us for a coffee to get verified- only 3 people ever actually showed up in five years.
I used to feel for newbies and try to help them out as much as I could, but it's clearly the case that there's no point in helping people, who don't respect you, your time nor do they want to help themselves.
If there's a will - there will be a way OP.
Concentrate on contacting people who don't mind meeting unverified newbies instead, don't expect sex, do spend time actually getting involved in forums and getting to know people (posting one thread isn't it) and maybe one day you will turn your own luck.
Just remember that nobody owes you their time. |
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"Mid week is actually an option for meets. But there is another side to this and this is people feel if you cannot meet on weekends that you are playing alone without consent"
I'm mostly available weekday daytimes because of my shift pattern and commitments I have to my hobby. People will always have an opinion on something - you can't keep putting barriers up based on the perceptions of others. Make your availability work for you whilst accepting that it might sometimes be limiting. |
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"”How are you possibly going to find the time to meet if you can't find the time even for a social.”
💯
Am I the only one that can’t see the original comment that MrandMrsRight quoted from?  "
Nope and there’s some on one of the other threads missing too. I’m guessing removed by admin? |
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"I find it interesting that there are people on here that say they won't chat unless meet verified, but if you are new you can't get meet verified and for those who say try socials, not everyone has weekends to go to events. Single dad with his kids on the weekend can't go to social events. Just wondering if others have any other solutions. "
I find just being irresistible a good way to bypass this issue 🤷♂️ |
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By *amo887Man 6 weeks ago
Limerick/Dublin |
"I've been on here a few years now.
Can't get meets, chat's or coffee meets. No one wants to chat.
But get to a social there good, I do enjoy them when I can go "
100% fact like get people busy but surely can chat never know what can happen |
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"”How are you possibly going to find the time to meet if you can't find the time even for a social.”
💯
Am I the only one that can’t see the original comment that MrandMrsRight quoted from?
Nope and there’s some on one of the other threads missing too. I’m guessing removed by admin?"
I noticed that too |
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By *om TangoMan 6 weeks ago
aughnacloy monaghan area |
Having a few verifications won’t get you too much chatter. Lady’s on here get loads of messages. I would only send the odd message and some don’t even get read. From my experience to get a chat with someone is to try get to a social, that way there is a chance you get added to a kik or telegram group before and after the social. Now I’m saying that I’ve seen lads getting added to kik and telegram groups and they straight away looking for a meeting. Away to many join this site and lifestyle and thinks it’s all about hooking up for a fuck. Some have no intention of joining the wonderful community of likeminded people and making friendships. For that reason I do believe real swingers and those in the lifestyle and understand it just can’t be assed chatting to single lads. But go to a social, be respectful and mix with others is the only way to go. I hope to meet a lady from here Sunday for dinner and I think this will be the 5th time meeting her and we haven’t even kissed. But we’re both very comfortable in each other’s company and we can talk freely and open with each other. And I don’t believe we have ever used this platform to message each other. So OP. Not saying you don’t understand the lifestyle but if your sending messages like “hi” or “want to meet up” your not going to get many replies. |
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Not so new anymore now but honestly the difference getting a verification made to my experience here was groundbreaking
Can’t understate the importance of getting to a social or event, after 2 weeks I went to my first social and after that it was plain sailing
Especially as a single guy, the seal of approval that you’re a good guy/ not a creep is a great endorsement and also lets the girls and couples that you might want to get to know that you’re a safe option |
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"I've been on here a few years now.
Can't get meets, chat's or coffee meets. No one wants to chat.
But get to a social there good, I do enjoy them when I can go
100% fact like get people busy but surely can chat never know what can happen "
How many chats can one person be expected to have and it still be meaningful? So you want to chat, and so does Michael, and Billy, and John, and David, and Andy. Then tomorrow there's Stephen, and Joe, and Damian, and Gary. Where does it end? It's just not possible to carry on chats with all those people just because you never know what might happen. Someone will always lose out and think you're a *time waster/ fake/ arsehole (*delete as appropriate) because of it 🤷♀️ |
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"Where are the socials on?
You’re going to have to do your own homework on that. See this is my point. Lots of lads join the site thinking pussy will come to them. Make an effort lad. "
Maybe someone should start a thread with all the socials listed on them 😁 |
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"Where are the socials on?
You’re going to have to do your own homework on that. See this is my point. Lots of lads join the site thinking pussy will come to them. Make an effort lad. "
He asked a question. How else is he suppose to find out where socials are and how they are advertised?
|
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By *om TangoMan 6 weeks ago
aughnacloy monaghan area |
"Where are the socials on?
You’re going to have to do your own homework on that. See this is my point. Lots of lads join the site thinking pussy will come to them. Make an effort lad.
He asked a question. How else is he suppose to find out where socials are and how they are advertised?
"
Reminds of the old television years ago. Needed a good bang to see the real picture. They socials are posted on here lad. Make an effort to show others you understand the lifestyle. |
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"Where are the socials on?
You’re going to have to do your own homework on that. See this is my point. Lots of lads join the site thinking pussy will come to them. Make an effort lad.
He asked a question. How else is he suppose to find out where socials are and how they are advertised?
Reminds of the old television years ago. Needed a good bang to see the real picture. They socials are posted on here lad. Make an effort to show others you understand the lifestyle. "
Or people could be helpful and friendly to someone new asking questions to tru and understand the lifestyle instead of condescending...
Just a thought |
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"Where are the socials on?
You’re going to have to do your own homework on that. See this is my point. Lots of lads join the site thinking pussy will come to them. Make an effort lad. "
Ara now. Give the man a break. |
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By *om TangoMan 6 weeks ago
aughnacloy monaghan area |
"Where are the socials on?
You’re going to have to do your own homework on that. See this is my point. Lots of lads join the site thinking pussy will come to them. Make an effort lad.
He asked a question. How else is he suppose to find out where socials are and how they are advertised?
Reminds of the old television years ago. Needed a good bang to see the real picture. They socials are posted on here lad. Make an effort to show others you understand the lifestyle.
Or people could be helpful and friendly to someone new asking questions to tru and understand the lifestyle instead of condescending...
Just a thought "
Your on 6 months lad. Surely you can follow the forums and watch out |
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By *om TangoMan 6 weeks ago
aughnacloy monaghan area |
"Where are the socials on?
You’re going to have to do your own homework on that. See this is my point. Lots of lads join the site thinking pussy will come to them. Make an effort lad.
Ara now. Give the man a break. "
Test first, lessons afterwards |
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"Where are the socials on?
You’re going to have to do your own homework on that. See this is my point. Lots of lads join the site thinking pussy will come to them. Make an effort lad.
He asked a question. How else is he suppose to find out where socials are and how they are advertised?
Reminds of the old television years ago. Needed a good bang to see the real picture. They socials are posted on here lad. Make an effort to show others you understand the lifestyle.
Or people could be helpful and friendly to someone new asking questions to tru and understand the lifestyle instead of condescending...
Just a thought
Your on 6 months lad. Surely you can follow the forums and watch out"
He's been here much longer than that.
And he's right. There's not much "community spirit" in telling someone who asked a simple question to find out the answer themselves |
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There's usually a monthly help a fabber thread designed to assist newbies in getting that first social meet. Some do take the offer while others still complain after no showing. If someone who is new really wants to take the first social step they will make it happen no matter how little free time they have. We are always willing to help and it always starts well but usually trickles off if it's not done within the first week |
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This whole verification thing can be very frustrating. I went to a social on Sunday and as I was about leaving only then was I told I can't be verified by the lads I've been talking and relating with all night . .newbies don't have a manual we don't know what goes or doesn't ..so till now I'm not meet verified even though I've attended a social..please cut us some slack |
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By *og-ManMan 6 weeks ago
somewhere |
"This whole verification thing can be very frustrating. I went to a social on Sunday and as I was about leaving only then was I told I can't be verified by the lads I've been talking and relating with all night . .newbies don't have a manual we don't know what goes or doesn't ..so till now I'm not meet verified even though I've attended a social..please cut us some slack "
You can be verified by anyone else verified at that social
The person running the social would be the best person to ask for a verification |
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"I hear your man Linden is a big ride.
Who said that?….. 👀 👀 👀
Some spooky stuff going on in here…….🔍🕵️
Keep an eye on the forums OP, lots of good info in there……  "
Don't know who said that but he must be a liar😁
Only messing big man 😁 |
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"This whole verification thing can be very frustrating. I went to a social on Sunday and as I was about leaving only then was I told I can't be verified by the lads I've been talking and relating with all night . .newbies don't have a manual we don't know what goes or doesn't ..so till now I'm not meet verified even though I've attended a social..please cut us some slack "
Why can you not be verified by the lads? Guaranteed this was someone who thinks they know it all suggesting if you have guys verify you it will put people off 🙈
Heard it so many times and it's complete nonsense.
As long as someone is verified they can verify anyone, but there are people who make up rules about who should and shouldn't verify people- the key words being 'make up'. |
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"I find it interesting that there are people on here that say they won't chat unless meet verified, but if you are new you can't get meet verified and for those who say try socials, not everyone has weekends to go to events. Single dad with his kids on the weekend can't go to social events. Just wondering if others have any other solutions. "
Yeah I am finding it hard myself, most of the women in here are older and tend to just not want to talk to young men in my case |
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One thing on all this:
Not everyone wants or is comfortable with going to socials.
There are other ways, engage in the forum, use the chat/cam rooms and get a cam veri first.
Work on making profiles as engaging as possible.
Anyone who really wants to make fab work for them and is willing to make enough effort to do thay, will eventually make it happen |
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On a serious note, I know that a lot of people struggle with socials, whether they are genuinely shy, not sure what happens at socials, and it's the fear of the unknown that puts them off.
We started our swinging life going to a UK club so jumped in the deep end. After that socials were a lot less pressurised.
We host socials now, and many people who come have never been to a social, but after the first, they keep coming back. They are definitely a "soft" entry into the swinging lifestyle and although it doesn't guarantee you will find someone to play with, once you are there and making connections the next steps are much easier.
Andy |
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Every social is different. Some are pub based, some are cafe style, some are a walk and talk event.
I can highly recommend Casual Coffee in Drogheda- there's a premeet first for newbies and then a main social once a month. Very low key and chilled. |
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"Its hard to get a flipping reply.
Not met anyone here. Just lads checking out my profile. And they say they straight "
You have been on three months and this is your first forum post, so you haven't interacted with the forum to get your profile seen.
Have you attended any socials? |
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