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Giving up or walking away from a friendship
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"How do you know it's time to walk away from a friendship that seems to have fallen apart,?
"
If things seem to be a one way street where all the texts, calls etc seem to be coming from you and nothing reciprocated, id be pretty much done |
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By *aughty MilfCouple 9 weeks ago
Fermanagh/Monaghan Ireland , Northern Ireland |
"How do you know it's time to walk away from a friendship that seems to have fallen apart,?
If things seem to be a one way street where all the texts, calls etc seem to be coming from you and nothing reciprocated, id be pretty much done"
Agree |
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Friendship is a close and mutual bond between individuals characterized by affection, trust, and support. It often involves shared experiences, interests, and values, and can provide emotional support, companionship.
If it is not providing any positive experiences and only negative then I'd say it's time to pull away... |
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"How do you know it's time to walk away from a friendship that seems to have fallen apart,?
If things seem to be a one way street where all the texts, calls etc seem to be coming from you and nothing reciprocated, id be pretty much done"
Agreed. Also if I feel I’m sharing life things and they share nothing with me, doubts creep in. Honestly I have 3 true friends. Friends since childhood, lots of acquaintances, but only 3 that I can count on. |
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"How do you know it's time to walk away from a friendship that seems to have fallen apart,?
When you ask this question.
I did think of this answer when I wrote the question"
There are certain people to avoid in life, the funny thing is when you meet them first you don't realize what they are truly like. (Bill Eddy
5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities) is an excellent read. Avoiding high conflict personalities. Savage cabbage.
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A so-called friend of mine treated me very badly recently. She knew my personal circumstances yet acted totally ignorant to all that.
I cut her off. I've never fallen out with a friend, ever. Its her. She tried reaching out to me in relation to an IG post I put up about sth personal to me. I ignored her.
Dont need a 'friend' like that in my life. |
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By *panishRebelMan 9 weeks ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
None of us know your circumstances etc. We can't really tell you "how you know when to walk away".
We can give general advice.
My two pennies worth is be careful. Don't rush but don't be afraid to what you understand to be best!
I'm reminded of a Jerry Fish song...
True Friends.
Have a listen to it.
Lyrics of True Friends by Jerry Fish, The Mudbug Club
.
.
Day will break, stars will fall
There′s always something you'll forget to say
Don′t dismay
True friends never part
Time will pass, paths will stray
There's always someone who will break your heart
There's no point, being cruel
True friends never part
We′ll meet again
Trust me my friend
There′s no harm in goodbye
Give me your glass
Follow your heart
Wipe that tear from your eye
Time makes amends
Don't be afraid
You′ll not let love pass you by
Remember this
True friends never part
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By *dfabMan 9 weeks ago
Dunboyne |
Everyone is going through different stuff at varying times.
I have a close friend for 30yrs. There's been times where we didn't properly speak for over a year. I only recently discovered he was on anti depressants and had gone through some tough times.
Yes I gave out to him for not sharing with me as I'd been a mentor to him in younger days. He's now much more open about any mental health issues and we have some very long conversations but our friendship is stronger than ever, regardless of distance.
Be understanding but also ask them questions to see if you can determine if they are going through something they may not want to share but perhaps would be better off if they did.
Not saying this is a definitive answer but one you should consider. Hope it works out  |
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I've never walked away from a friendship, but with moving to various countries over the years and circumstances changing generally due to work, friendships have come and gone.
I've come to learn about effort, and it's not all one way. If you have to question it, or feel that you're doing the running, then stand still and see what happens.
28 years ago I walked out of a bar in Kenmare telling my buddies I am done with this lifestyle, I have to change it. (Back then it was a serious drinking town) I lived with some of them, worked with the others. To this day, not one bothered to question why or what was I going through, and they' re still around there drinking away. But yet, if I go to that bar today, they'll be there still. They didn't change, I did.
I accepted I made the changes which affected the friendships, but did they meet me halfway? I thought if friendship meant anything, they would have made some effort to understand. Nope. I kind of blamed them without realising too. I was only looking for more out of my life at that time, than sitting in a pub.
So at what cost are some friendships?
Some changes just have to be made. If the friendship matters, the others must step up.
I always leave the door open for anyone to walk through and a lot of friendships are not as close as before, or have evolved in different directions. Others have become deeper over time.
I never take anything personal with regards to friendships. They are what they are. |
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"A so-called friend of mine treated me very badly recently. She knew my personal circumstances yet acted totally ignorant to all that.
I cut her off. I've never fallen out with a friend, ever. Its her. She tried reaching out to me in relation to an IG post I put up about sth personal to me. I ignored her.
Dont need a 'frend' like that in my life. "
totally agree a true friend stays through to give you support when you need it the most in life .life is very tough for us all at the moment but once we are there for people it means a lot if one sided so called friends time to give them the heave ho no matter if there lifelong friends |
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When they question everything you do.
When they ask for photo verification of where you are,at that moment.
When they answer your question with a question.
When they arrive at where you are without telling you they were coming.( surprise my arse)
When they lie to you!!
I think that's a fair explanation of how a friendship, friendship with benefits or an actual lover will decay or be destroyed!!!??? |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"How do you know it's time to walk away from a friendship that seems to have fallen apart,?
"
When it's become a constant drag to keep the friendship going. When you don't even look forward to sending or receiving a message. When you sigh When you see the name coming up. I think at that stage it's fizzling out anyway. |
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"How do you know it's time to walk away from a friendship that seems to have fallen apart,?
"
Friendship requires a bit of effort, but it shouldn't be a head f*xk. Everyone has their moments, but if you notice a pattern it's prob time to walk away |
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Sometimes we take a sole stand, even if it’s against close friends. Maybe we won’t budge because we know we’re right (or refuse to admit we’re wrong). And if we can’t make sense of it all, maybe we wonder if we should let it be.
Friendship is a 2 way relationship. You may think your the wronged one but blaming the friend for everything needs to be looked at.
Still figuring out who’s to blame? That means you’re still dwelling in the past.
Blaming something on anyone brings back up your fighting stance. Definitely counterproductive in fixing any relationship.
Accept the situation for what it is even if it doesn’t make any sense at the moment.
No one’s perfect in this world, and the last thing you want to do is stir the proverbial pot when trying to fix your friendship.
Find a way to climb on top of that and gain the advantage of seeing over your obstacles. |
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Friends come and go , we all do it , different life stages different needs , be your own best friend, I don't hang on to dead wood, new people come along all the time need space for them to connect. Dead.wood gets in the way of that .
Luther  |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"Friends come and go , we all do it , different life stages different needs , be your own best friend, I don't hang on to dead wood, new people come along all the time need space for them to connect. Dead.wood gets in the way of that .
Luther "
100% friends change, so do we. |
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Who knows what's going on with others. Id just ease back, no need for ultimatums or interventions just move on leaving options for the future when one or both of you may have need each other again. |
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"How do you know it's time to walk away from a friendship that seems to have fallen apart,?
Friendship requires a bit of effort, but it shouldn't be a head f*xk. Everyone has their moments, but if you notice a pattern it's prob time to walk away"
Have to say agree here too  |
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Thanks everyone
I've decided to walk away as I have done so much for this person over the years, lent her a large sum of money which took over a year to get back even though she had 2 holidays during the year. Took time of work to help her out and she has had a go at me about not keeping in touch.
Will just fade away as I have my own struggles and honestly can't be arsed being the one making the attempts.
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By *oo32Man 9 weeks ago
tipperary |
"Thanks everyone
I've decided to walk away as I have done so much for this person over the years, lent her a large sum of money which took over a year to get back even though she had 2 holidays during the year. Took time of work to help her out and she has had a go at me about not keeping in touch.
Will just fade away as I have my own struggles and honestly can't be arsed being the one making the attempts.
"
If its one way the whole time then it's probably for the best
It's a dose being taken for granted, |
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"Thanks everyone
I've decided to walk away as I have done so much for this person over the years, lent her a large sum of money which took over a year to get back even though she had 2 holidays during the year. Took time of work to help her out and she has had a go at me about not keeping in touch.
Will just fade away as I have my own struggles and honestly can't be arsed being the one making the attempts.
"
Do what feels right for you. It sounds like you have made your decision, stick to it. If you're making that much effort and it's not appreciated, it's not a great friendship, it's best to walk away then. xx |
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Mr here I have a few people I consider very good friends.
I don't speak to them every day or even every week. But I know when I need them they are there for me and they know when they need me I am there for them . We might meet up a few times some weeks and then not for a few weeks again
But we always make time if one of us needs something.
|
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"Thanks everyone
I've decided to walk away as I have done so much for this person over the years, lent her a large sum of money which took over a year to get back even though she had 2 holidays during the year. Took time of work to help her out and she has had a go at me about not keeping in touch.
Will just fade away as I have my own struggles and honestly can't be arsed being the one making the attempts.
"
It's probably the right decision but maybe stay open to her coming back when she realises what she has lost. Just don't make it too easy for her. Good luck with it xx |
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By *ustBoWoman 9 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
When you realise they are not a true friend. When you begin to dread seeing their name coming up on your phone or when you see them.
Friendships come and go, sometimes because you just grow apart,sometimes because you realise that it was always just a one way friendship and it no longer is worth the effort of trying to keep it going.
Sometimes you need to just pull away from someone to bring peace to your own life.
True friendships are worth their weight in gold though and definitely worth keeping. But only when you both are there for each other through the good and the bad times.
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"Thanks everyone
I've decided to walk away as I have done so much for this person over the years, lent her a large sum of money which took over a year to get back even though she had 2 holidays during the year. Took time of work to help her out and she has had a go at me about not keeping in touch.
Will just fade away as I have my own struggles and honestly can't be arsed being the one making the attempts.
"
Best of luck with your decision. Onwards and upwards.. believe in yourself and don't look back x |
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"
If things seem to be a one way street where all the texts, calls etc seem to be coming from you and nothing reciprocated, id be pretty much done"
I would very much agree with this as much as it hurts me to do so but I am giving on a number of people because of situations like this.
Some are quick to ring, text or call to the house when they want something but not so quick just to make contact just for a quick chat. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"I've never walked away from a friendship, but with moving to various countries over the years and circumstances changing generally due to work, friendships have come and gone.
I've come to learn about effort, and it's not all one way. If you have to question it, or feel that you're doing the running, then stand still and see what happens.
28 years ago I walked out of a bar in Kenmare telling my buddies I am done with this lifestyle, I have to change it. (Back then it was a serious drinking town) I lived with some of them, worked with the others. To this day, not one bothered to question why or what was I going through, and they' re still around there drinking away. But yet, if I go to that bar today, they'll be there still. They didn't change, I did.
I accepted I made the changes which affected the friendships, but did they meet me halfway? I thought if friendship meant anything, they would have made some effort to understand. Nope. I kind of blamed them without realising too. I was only looking for more out of my life at that time, than sitting in a pub.
So at what cost are some friendships?
Some changes just have to be made. If the friendship matters, the others must step up.
I always leave the door open for anyone to walk through and a lot of friendships are not as close as before, or have evolved in different directions. Others have become deeper over time.
I never take anything personal with regards to friendships. They are what they are."
Very wise words  |
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"How do you know it's time to walk away from a friendship that seems to have fallen apart,?
Never ever walk away from a friend."
Sometimes you have to for your own peace
It is hard but sometimes it has to be done |
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"How do you know it's time to walk away from a friendship that seems to have fallen apart,?
Never ever walk away from a friend.
Sometimes you have to for your own peace
It is hard but sometimes it has to be done"
Yeah, I agree with this. |
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I'm disagreeing with most people tbh. You don't know what's going on in her life or in her head.
As I previously said, walk away for your own peace of mind but be open to her coming back if/when she is ready.
Be firm that you can't tolerate her behaviour, things need to change etc etc. You've been too tolerant in the past and she needs a reality check.
She may well need you, but she doesn't realise it yet.
It's a tough one, it may not be as simple as cutting ties permanently. Only you know what to do. |
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"I'm disagreeing with most people tbh. You don't know what's going on in her life or in her head.
As I previously said, walk away for your own peace of mind but be open to her coming back if/when she is ready.
Be firm that you can't tolerate her behaviour, things need to change etc etc. You've been too tolerant in the past and she needs a reality check.
She may well need you, but she doesn't realise it yet.
It's a tough one, it may not be as simple as cutting ties permanently. Only you know what to do. "
Nah ,
Cut ties ,
Burn the bitch before they take more of your energy.
Forgiveness is awarded not taken.
Create boundaries, label people appropriately, friend, colleague, acquaintance.
I disagree with your approach. |
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"I'm disagreeing with most people tbh. You don't know what's going on in her life or in her head.
As I previously said, walk away for your own peace of mind but be open to her coming back if/when she is ready.
Be firm that you can't tolerate her behaviour, things need to change etc etc. You've been too tolerant in the past and she needs a reality check.
She may well need you, but she doesn't realise it yet.
It's a tough one, it may not be as simple as cutting ties permanently. Only you know what to do.
Nah ,
Cut ties ,
Burn the bitch before they take more of your energy.
Forgiveness is awarded not taken.
Create boundaries, label people appropriately, friend, colleague, acquaintance.
I disagree with your approach."
Ok |
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Agreed, there’s 2 sides to every coin. I think a lot of people assume in a case where they might have a friend that is showing low effort/ not being a good friends that’s it’s vindictive
And then with hindsight will realise that the friend was going through a rough patch ! I’d say let them know you’re there for them but you have to put things on pause while they sort themself out, don’t burn the bridge completely |
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"I'm disagreeing with most people tbh. You don't know what's going on in her life or in her head.
As I previously said, walk away for your own peace of mind but be open to her coming back if/when she is ready.
Be firm that you can't tolerate her behaviour, things need to change etc etc. You've been too tolerant in the past and she needs a reality check.
She may well need you, but she doesn't realise it yet.
It's a tough one, it may not be as simple as cutting ties permanently. Only you know what to do. "
I have found in the pass they don't tend to come back to you these so called friends they take with no care to how they have treated you as a friend just my experience |
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"I'm disagreeing with most people tbh. You don't know what's going on in her life or in her head.
As I previously said, walk away for your own peace of mind but be open to her coming back if/when she is ready.
Be firm that you can't tolerate her behaviour, things need to change etc etc. You've been too tolerant in the past and she needs a reality check.
She may well need you, but she doesn't realise it yet.
It's a tough one, it may not be as simple as cutting ties permanently. Only you know what to do. "
The problem is I'm the one that's needed the friend and she hasn't been there.
I have let people walk all over me and gone out of my way for a lot of people over the years but yet at my darkest very few of them so called friends were at my door.
|
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"I'm disagreeing with most people tbh. You don't know what's going on in her life or in her head.
As I previously said, walk away for your own peace of mind but be open to her coming back if/when she is ready.
Be firm that you can't tolerate her behaviour, things need to change etc etc. You've been too tolerant in the past and she needs a reality check.
She may well need you, but she doesn't realise it yet.
It's a tough one, it may not be as simple as cutting ties permanently. Only you know what to do.
The problem is I'm the one that's needed the friend and she hasn't been there.
I have let people walk all over me and gone out of my way for a lot of people over the years but yet at my darkest very few of them so called friends were at my door.
"
Ok it's clearer now. They weren't friends at all really. |
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"Thanks everyone
I've decided to walk away as I have done so much for this person over the years, lent her a large sum of money which took over a year to get back even though she had 2 holidays during the year. Took time of work to help her out and she has had a go at me about not keeping in touch.
Will just fade away as I have my own struggles and honestly can't be arsed being the one making the attempts.
I think you have made the correct decision. Like a lot of bumps along the road of life - give it time. If it really is a true friendship then nature will bring you both back together again eventually.
In the meantime, enjoy your life and cherish the good moments that you both had.
Happy Christmas.
"
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Female friendships are so different to most men. For me, any Man who acted like women do in friendships is someone I could never be friends with!
I have many friends that I rarely see. I might meet them once every year or so. I will meet them this Christmas.
I have close friends that I don't see regularly as we're all very busy with family, work, life etc. We socialise when we can.
I think men can go a much longer time without meeting friends, and it won't mean anything. We don't overthink it, we haven't been avoiding each other on purpose, we just had other priorities and we understand that our friends have other priorities.
It would be a very serious situation that I would need or expect a friend for help.
I'd never walk away from a friendship on purpose. Maybe you just need to see things from a different angle!? |
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"Female friendships are so different to most men. For me, any Man who acted like women do in friendships is someone I could never be friends with!
I have many friends that I rarely see. I might meet them once every year or so. I will meet them this Christmas.
I have close friends that I don't see regularly as we're all very busy with family, work, life etc. We socialise when we can.
I think men can go a much longer time without meeting friends, and it won't mean anything. We don't overthink it, we haven't been avoiding each other on purpose, we just had other priorities and we understand that our friends have other priorities.
It would be a very serious situation that I would need or expect a friend for help.
I'd never walk away from a friendship on purpose. Maybe you just need to see things from a different angle!?"
I would disagree to some extent. I accept that male friendship can be different and there are people I don't see for months or more and we just pick up where we left off but at the same time I have walked away from many friendships for exactly that reason.
I don't have a single friend from childhood or school and all my friends are people I've only known 10-15 years or less.
I walked away from people I was extremely close to when at school and supported them through very difficult times when they lost family members and in one tragic case a very young spouse.
What I came to realise over time though was that it was all one way and when I was having difficulties and needed their help and support they were nowhere to be seen. Not even so much as a phonecall.
Then they would try to pick up again at a later stage when it suited them.
I just gave up checking in on them and haven't spoken to anyone within that group of 6 or 7 friends for more than 30 years.
It was no surprise that once I stopped making the effort no one else could be arsed.
My circle of friends now is tiny but I know that if I need anything they are only a phonecall away and they are all people who are prepared to make the effort and not just sponge off me. |
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"
The problem is I'm the one that's needed the friend and she hasn't been there.
I have let people walk all over me and gone out of my way for a lot of people over the years but yet at my darkest very few of them so called friends were at my door.
"
OP seems like you already have an answer to the question you posed but to me feels like you had already figured it out within the thread as quoted above..
True friendship isn't a one way relationship. I find, a real friend is there for you when you need them, sometimes before you even know you need them yourself.
That's why true friendships are so hard to come by as well as retain when we get older and busier in day to day life 🫂 |
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When you have to ask yourself that question, it's time to walk away..
It's a sad fact of life that people grow apart, even long friends.
I thought my ex was my friend until I realized it was all one way, best thing I did was distance myself from her. |
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"The longer you stay on the wrong train, the more expensive it is to get home
Ooooh I like that xxx
Yeah its a good one .. goes for anything too"
Definately resonates after this year
Roll on 2025 xx |
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"The longer you stay on the wrong train, the more expensive it is to get home
Ooooh I like that xxx
Yeah its a good one .. goes for anything too"
Definately resonates after this year
Roll on 2025 xx |
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"How do you know it's time to walk away from a friendship that seems to have fallen apart,? "
Some friendships run their course and then it's all about talking about how "great" the past was again and again  Myself, I don't do nostalgia too often...
Other friendships have never been properly tested and can crumble after even the smallest disagreement so walking away can be healthy..
For me, if someone is disloyal or dishonest, "its been knowing you" but its down to knowing if someone is threading on the values you hold dear..
Friendships like meets should be about quality of interaction and not quantity of people |
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