FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Respecting sexuality boundaries
Respecting sexuality boundaries
Jump to: Newest in thread
Im new here amd didnt have filters set to manage who could message me. Thats fixed now.
I cant even imagaine what the ladies go through from guys.
But why do so many guys ignore my Straight setting, and that my profile clearly says straight? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think not all proclaimed straight men are straight on Fab. "
Yes this is a problem. We are looking for bisexual men and we get messages from straight profiles. So, sometimes I'll say but your profile says straight and our profile says Bi only. It pisses me off because it's very clear on our profile and here's the straight dude doing your usual scatter gun copy and paste approach and not really reading our profile.
The answers fall in to categories
There's the 'oh that's a mistake' guys who then say they'll change their profile but don't.
And there's the 'if I'm honest about my sexuality women won't talk to me' guys
I'd rather people were honest. If someone says they are straight that's 100% fine I'll not try and convince them otherwise.
Because there's also men saying they are Bi on here and they aren't really. They might go on to say they are orally Bi. Or only express interest in me (f) often in very over entitled terms. Also there's such a thing as Fab Bi. And then real Bi, who are 'out' and queer people and my partner and I fall into that category and are not presenting as heteronormative.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have bi ladies and couples with bi ladies messaging me constantly with the "oh every woman is bi or you'll love it"
It's not just guys on here. Every group does it. "
I have a straight friend who is constantly told this too, always by women. Everyone's sexuality should be respected. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *og-ManMan 5 weeks ago
somewhere |
Op
You should be fine now that you've discovered filters as men won't be able to message you
If people weren't embarrassed or ashamed of their sexuality then it would help cut out the unwanted messages
Every now and then it must work that they get a message back from someone also hiding their own sexuality so they continue to send out dozens of messages
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Op
You should be fine now that you've discovered filters as men won't be able to message you
If people weren't embarrassed or ashamed of their sexuality then it would help cut out the unwanted messages
Every now and then it must work that they get a message back from someone also hiding their own sexuality so they continue to send out dozens of messages
This 100%
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
|
I don’t have any filters switched on to block mails. I don’t take offence at compliments from gay men. I simply say thanks but no thanks and wish them well, 99% are grateful for the reply.
I suspect fab can a lonely place for some and it costs nothing to be polite |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rRiosMan 5 weeks ago
dublin |
"Op
You should be fine now that you've discovered filters as men won't be able to message you
If people weren't embarrassed or ashamed of their sexuality then it would help cut out the unwanted messages
Every now and then it must work that they get a message back from someone also hiding their own sexuality so they continue to send out dozens of messages
"
I’m the exact same as what black adder75 said below. I take it as a compliment and a thank you but say no thanks. Then I’d add, you might have better luck on fabguys and they always say “you’d be surprised”. So I think it works more than you’d suspect |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *og-ManMan 5 weeks ago
somewhere |
"Op
You should be fine now that you've discovered filters as men won't be able to message you
If people weren't embarrassed or ashamed of their sexuality then it would help cut out the unwanted messages
Every now and then it must work that they get a message back from someone also hiding their own sexuality so they continue to send out dozens of messages
I’m the exact same as what black adder75 said below. I take it as a compliment and a thank you but say no thanks. Then I’d add, you might have better luck on fabguys and they always say “you’d be surprised”. So I think it works more than you’d suspect "
I'd never out anyone on here but there's lots of men on both
On here listed as straight some with homophonic remarks on profile or written in threads
Same men on fabguys with some of the same photos and listed as gay
Nowt as queer as folk  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Op
You should be fine now that you've discovered filters as men won't be able to message you
If people weren't embarrassed or ashamed of their sexuality then it would help cut out the unwanted messages
Every now and then it must work that they get a message back from someone also hiding their own sexuality so they continue to send out dozens of messages
I’m the exact same as what black adder75 said below. I take it as a compliment and a thank you but say no thanks. Then I’d add, you might have better luck on fabguys and they always say “you’d be surprised”. So I think it works more than you’d suspect "
I have really thought about my sexuality, and the attention was initially a real ego boost, the volume and persistance led me to filtering it out.
I'm guessing there are enough newbies open to the suggestion, or maybe concerned about being open to their desire that the success rate is ok. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Op
You should be fine now that you've discovered filters as men won't be able to message you
If people weren't embarrassed or ashamed of their sexuality then it would help cut out the unwanted messages
Every now and then it must work that they get a message back from someone also hiding their own sexuality so they continue to send out dozens of messages
I’m the exact same as what black adder75 said below. I take it as a compliment and a thank you but say no thanks. Then I’d add, you might have better luck on fabguys and they always say “you’d be surprised”. So I think it works more than you’d suspect
I'd never out anyone on here but there's lots of men on both
On here listed as straight some with homophonic remarks on profile or written in threads
Same men on fabguys with some of the same photos and listed as gay
Nowt as queer as folk "
And seams to be the same ones lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've been told by a few very well verified couples, including some "lovely" forum celebs that I'm too old and too straight to ever have any luck on here.
They obviously haven't looked at my veries.
They kindly offered to add me to their to-do list if I agreed to play bi and when I refused I was told it was my loss, I was an idiot who needed to give his head a wobble and they asked did I not know who they were and their standing in the swing community?
I was told they could end my fab journey with a few well placed messages to influential fabbers for turning them down.
Those bloody crayons keep breaking though so even all these years later they haven't managed to compose one of those journey ending messages.
I have a very good female friend who is also straight and who has been hassled in the past by couples not accepting her preferences and telling her she should explore more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've been told by a few very well verified couples, including some "lovely" forum celebs that I'm too old and too straight to ever have any luck on here.
They obviously haven't looked at my veries.
They kindly offered to add me to their to-do list if I agreed to play bi and when I refused I was told it was my loss, I was an idiot who needed to give his head a wobble and they asked did I not know who they were and their standing in the swing community?
I was told they could end my fab journey with a few well placed messages to influential fabbers for turning them down.
Those bloody crayons keep breaking though so even all these years later they haven't managed to compose one of those journey ending messages.
I have a very good female friend who is also straight and who has been hassled in the past by couples not accepting her preferences and telling her she should explore more."
There is no way that actually happened  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t have any filters switched on to block mails. I don’t take offence at compliments from gay men. I simply say thanks but no thanks and wish them well, 99% are grateful for the reply.
I suspect fab can a lonely place for some and it costs nothing to be polite "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've been told by a few very well verified couples, including some "lovely" forum celebs that I'm too old and too straight to ever have any luck on here.
They obviously haven't looked at my veries.
They kindly offered to add me to their to-do list if I agreed to play bi and when I refused I was told it was my loss, I was an idiot who needed to give his head a wobble and they asked did I not know who they were and their standing in the swing community?
I was told they could end my fab journey with a few well placed messages to influential fabbers for turning them down.
Those bloody crayons keep breaking though so even all these years later they haven't managed to compose one of those journey ending messages.
I have a very good female friend who is also straight and who has been hassled in the past by couples not accepting her preferences and telling her she should explore more.
There is no way that actually happened "
I can assure you it happened more than once.
It sounds like a fab legend but it's factual and highlights some people's attitude. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Only just an hour ago I was messaged by a “straight” profile. I know I could block mails from men here but sometimes there comes good chats from fellas on here. I just take the compliment and say thanks but no thanks, if they don’t take the hint then I stop replying or just block. It doesn’t take much to be polite but when your politeness is taken as a way in it stops being fun then! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
While tightening filters may seem like an easy solution, the real problem is that if someone can’t respect the boundaries clearly outlined in a profile—and refuses to accept a “no” when it’s given—then this community might not be the right fit for them.
The response thats often given to the word no is incredibly concerning .
Ella |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have bi ladies and couples with bi ladies messaging me constantly with the "oh every woman is bi or you'll love it"
It's not just guys on here. Every group does it. "
...they are of course right....every woman is bi....bisexual or bipolar...good luck finding out....  ....(joke of course) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rRiosMan 5 weeks ago
dublin |
"I have bi ladies and couples with bi ladies messaging me constantly with the "oh every woman is bi or you'll love it"
It's not just guys on here. Every group does it. ...they are of course right....every woman is bi....bisexual or bipolar...good luck finding out.... ....(joke of course)"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adylaceWoman 5 weeks ago
Waterford City |
"While tightening filters may seem like an easy solution, the real problem is that if someone can’t respect the boundaries clearly outlined in a profile—and refuses to accept a “no” when it’s given—then this community might not be the right fit for them.
The response thats often given to the word no is incredibly concerning .
Ella "
This often a huge problem unfortunately. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"While tightening filters may seem like an easy solution, the real problem is that if someone can’t respect the boundaries clearly outlined in a profile—and refuses to accept a “no” when it’s given—then this community might not be the right fit for them.
The response thats often given to the word no is incredibly concerning .
Ella "
...would not be easier to block them....once you've turned them down....? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"While tightening filters may seem like an easy solution, the real problem is that if someone can’t respect the boundaries clearly outlined in a profile—and refuses to accept a “no” when it’s given—then this community might not be the right fit for them.
The response thats often given to the word no is incredibly concerning .
Ella ...would not be easier to block them....once you've turned them down....?"
Oh that’s a given but sometimes the response is faster than the move to block button 🤷🏼♀️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"While tightening filters may seem like an easy solution, the real problem is that if someone can’t respect the boundaries clearly outlined in a profile—and refuses to accept a “no” when it’s given—then this community might not be the right fit for them.
The response thats often given to the word no is incredibly concerning .
Ella ...would not be easier to block them....once you've turned them down....?
Oh that’s a given but sometimes the response is faster than the move to block button 🤷🏼♀️"
sounds like you need some practice....hahaha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t have any filters switched on to block mails. I don’t take offence at compliments from gay men. I simply say thanks but no thanks and wish them well, 99% are grateful for the reply.
Likewise but I always acknowledge their messages. It only costs me a few seconds to say Thank you but not for me. I wish you every success in your quest
I suspect fab can a lonely place for some and it costs nothing to be polite "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
