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An in person stood up
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Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!! |
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More than likely attached/married. She's away on a girlie weekend. He thought, yea .. perfect opportunity to play away! But...the small bit of conscience he has stopped him from going through with it.
I genuinely hope you are ok. What a hideous thing for him to have done. Hugs xx |
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I wouldn't judge him just now. Maybe he was unwell and had an accident which would be highly embarassing. Seek a proper explanation and judge from that.
That said it is not a great thing to do to anyone I am sorry your night was ruined. I am sure you had been so excited about it. |
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It's hard to know why people do things sometimes.
He could have easily text to say he was unwell or ghosted you so maybe something did happen on his way to meet you?
Maybe nerves got the better of him?
Maybe his real life got in the way of what he had planned (married?), caused him alot of stress and the codeword for that is he felt 'unwell'?
None of this matters for OP, they still felt that horrible feeling of disappointment when you expected excitement. Hope you are OK 🫂 |
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It could be any number of reasons, from him telling the truth and being unwell, to something in private life to buyers remorse- none of which will make you feel any better. Has he been in touch since? |
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By *rRiosMan 4 weeks ago
dublin |
"It could be any number of reasons, from him telling the truth and being unwell, to something in private life to buyers remorse- none of which will make you feel any better. Has he been in touch since? "
This is the question I came to ask. |
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Maybe he was unwell? Just like he said 
He turned up - in person - to tell you that. He followed that up with a text to apologise. I'm not sure what else he should be expected to do?
And if it was a excuse, are men not allowed to charge their minds too? In which case he maybe thought it was kinder to say he was unwell. And he still turned up in person to tell you. He didn't disappear without a trace, didn't leave you sitting with no contact from him so 🤷♀️ |
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"Maybe he was unwell? Just like he said
He turned up - in person - to tell you that. He followed that up with a text to apologise. I'm not sure what else he should be expected to do?
And if it was a excuse, are men not allowed to charge their minds too? In which case he maybe thought it was kinder to say he was unwell. And he still turned up in person to tell you. He didn't disappear without a trace, didn't leave you sitting with no contact from him so 🤷♀️"
Could not agree more. |
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"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!! "
I had a similar situation, but without a previously booked hotel. We met, laughed, it was nice... Suddenly he picked up the phone and said he would be right back because he had to call urgently. That he'll be back in a moment... He never came back, only a message that he's sorry but has to go somewhere |
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By *s LollyWoman 4 weeks ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!!
I had a similar situation, but without a previously booked hotel. We met, laughed, it was nice... Suddenly he picked up the phone and said he would be right back because he had to call urgently. That he'll be back in a moment... He never came back, only a message that he's sorry but has to go somewhere "
Id met someone for a social the week before got on like a house on fire, that night in the hotel he walked in we got a drink and sat down he took two mouthfuls and said sorry not feeling it got up and walked out.....never heard anything from him since 🤷 |
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I don’t think we can give out if men get buyers remorse and change their minds, just like women are allowed. In this case he turned up, for whatever reason changed his mind and apologised. In all the other cases above the male also changed their mind. It’s allowed. It hurts our feelings but it’s better than sympathy fucks lol! |
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"I don’t think we can give out if men get buyers remorse and change their minds, just like women are allowed. In this case he turned up, for whatever reason changed his mind and apologised. In all the other cases above the male also changed their mind. It’s allowed. It hurts our feelings but it’s better than sympathy fucks lol! "
You're absolutely right. |
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Man meets for social... man keeps contact.. man is respectful and engaging enough to make plans for an overnight...man is unwell and still turns up on person to tell the other party...man makes contact after again to say sorry.
I'm confused what did man do wrong that a male OP wouldn't be told to respect the other person's choices if the genders were switched? |
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"Man meets for social... man keeps contact.. man is respectful and engaging enough to make plans for an overnight...man is unwell and still turns up on person to tell the other party...man makes contact after again to say sorry.
I'm confused what did man do wrong that a male OP wouldn't be told to respect the other person's choices if the genders were switched?"
100%- at least he turned up! |
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By *oldByMarCouple 4 weeks ago
playa de ingles / outa da west |
"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!!
I had a similar situation, but without a previously booked hotel. We met, laughed, it was nice... Suddenly he picked up the phone and said he would be right back because he had to call urgently. That he'll be back in a moment... He never came back, only a message that he's sorry but has to go somewhere
Id met someone for a social the week before got on like a house on fire, that night in the hotel he walked in we got a drink and sat down he took two mouthfuls and said sorry not feeling it got up and walked out.....never heard anything from him since 🤷"
Well it’s ok for women to do it but not men ?
Know lots of men this happened to and were left sitting there .
But when women post about it they get the sympathy 🫂 card & the guy gets slated
If a guy posted this he’d be judged and humiliated
Women want equality 🟰 we’ll take the good with the bad so
Mrs .  |
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"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!!
I had a similar situation, but without a previously booked hotel. We met, laughed, it was nice... Suddenly he picked up the phone and said he would be right back because he had to call urgently. That he'll be back in a moment... He never came back, only a message that he's sorry but has to go somewhere
Id met someone for a social the week before got on like a house on fire, that night in the hotel he walked in we got a drink and sat down he took two mouthfuls and said sorry not feeling it got up and walked out.....never heard anything from him since 🤷
Well it’s ok for women to do it but not men ?
Know lots of men this happened to and were left sitting there .
But when women post about it they get the sympathy 🫂 card & the guy gets slated
If a guy posted this he’d be judged and humiliated
Women want equality 🟰 we’ll take the good with the bad so
Mrs . "
Is this fake sympathy above from men, it seems disingenuous TBH- what could the dude have done better???? |
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I'm sure you were disappointed OP but he did show up. He was ill, that could mean any number of things but I'm thinking if it was something like v&d the last thing he'd want is for you to see that. Have you checked in with him to see how he is? |
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By *oldByMarCouple 4 weeks ago
playa de ingles / outa da west |
"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!!
I had a similar situation, but without a previously booked hotel. We met, laughed, it was nice... Suddenly he picked up the phone and said he would be right back because he had to call urgently. That he'll be back in a moment... He never came back, only a message that he's sorry but has to go somewhere
Id met someone for a social the week before got on like a house on fire, that night in the hotel he walked in we got a drink and sat down he took two mouthfuls and said sorry not feeling it got up and walked out.....never heard anything from him since 🤷
Well it’s ok for women to do it but not men ?
Know lots of men this happened to and were left sitting there .
But when women post about it they get the sympathy 🫂 card & the guy gets slated
If a guy posted this he’d be judged and humiliated
Women want equality 🟰 we’ll take the good with the bad so
Mrs .
Is this fake sympathy above from men, it seems disingenuous TBH- what could the dude have done better???? "
He did what he did. Maybe it wasn’t the person for him and decided to leave without a fuss . Had the manners to apologise by text . Maybe nerves got to him either. Who knows only the man in question. So sorry for the OP not nice way to end a potentially lovely evening.
Previous comment was aimed Ms lolly’s comment
Not Op
Sorry for the confusion.
Mrs |
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By *iscuits8Man 4 weeks ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
I've turned up for a social before and on the way felt absolutely dreadful (was abroad, sunstroke oncoming). After I got a taxi to meet them I just messaged to apologise in advance for feeling dreadful. I met them, had a glass of water and 15-20 mins later just explained I really needed to get back to my hotel.
I've also had 2 arranged socials in the past couple of years where both either cut contact last minute, or gave a terrible excuse for a no-show. Both of them wasted 2-3 hours of my time driving.
It's frustrating and no comfort OP but shit happens on here and in life in general. Maybe he's flaky, maybe he's genuinely unwell... you'll probably never know. |
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By *jnow2Man 4 weeks ago
navan |
"I don’t think we can give out if men get buyers remorse and change their minds, just like women are allowed. In this case he turned up, for whatever reason changed his mind and apologised. In all the other cases above the male also changed their mind. It’s allowed. It hurts our feelings but it’s better than sympathy fucks lol! "
I agree but sometimes sympathy fucks can be fun also  |
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"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!!
I had a similar situation, but without a previously booked hotel. We met, laughed, it was nice... Suddenly he picked up the phone and said he would be right back because he had to call urgently. That he'll be back in a moment... He never came back, only a message that he's sorry but has to go somewhere
Id met someone for a social the week before got on like a house on fire, that night in the hotel he walked in we got a drink and sat down he took two mouthfuls and said sorry not feeling it got up and walked out.....never heard anything from him since 🤷
Well it’s ok for women to do it but not men ?
Know lots of men this happened to and were left sitting there .
But when women post about it they get the sympathy 🫂 card & the guy gets slated
If a guy posted this he’d be judged and humiliated
Women want equality 🟰 we’ll take the good with the bad so
Mrs .
Is this fake sympathy above from men, it seems disingenuous TBH- what could the dude have done better???? "
...look closer...its more than men... |
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By *oldByMarCouple 4 weeks ago
playa de ingles / outa da west |
"I've turned up for a social before and on the way felt absolutely dreadful (was abroad, sunstroke oncoming). After I got a taxi to meet them I just messaged to apologise in advance for feeling dreadful. I met them, had a glass of water and 15-20 mins later just explained I really needed to get back to my hotel.
I've also had 2 arranged socials in the past couple of years where both either cut contact last minute, or gave a terrible excuse for a no-show. Both of them wasted 2-3 hours of my time driving.
It's frustrating and no comfort OP but shit happens on here and in life in general. Maybe he's flaky, maybe he's genuinely unwell... you'll probably never know. "
 this |
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Could be anything as
1 was actually sick, and did right to tell you in person.
2 maybe is in a relationship and bottled it (been there in past, only catholic guilt comes after).
3 maybe every thing was good but then changed his mind, as can happen, even if attractions is there still can happen.
Or maybe it's something personal and had to be somewhere, who knows, might not even be about you could be personal stuff going on. |
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By *oldByMarCouple 4 weeks ago
playa de ingles / outa da west |
"I can't see what he done wrong he had the decency to actually turn up weather he was genuinely sick or just changed his mind.."
This
Glad some of the females are so understanding of the situation not only myself.
Thank you ladies |
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I've been on the receiving end of that. I was due to meet a couple last year. Got to their hotel, left them know I was there, message read. No reply. They went off line and nothing. I waited about an hour and left. I never got a reason.
I know it's not convenient. I know people get cold feet and change their mind.. but the golden rule of swinging is that anyone can say no at any time.
What's a shame here is he met you, led you on, but ultimately couldn't follow through. It sounds like he was new to swinging and couldn't follow through with it. In the ideal would he would have drank the coffee when he first met, and declined further fun.
Having been on the receiving end - I sympathise, but it would be worse to have sex and regret it. |
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I've had a woman contact me 4 months ago and then ghost me only to reappear last night, send pictures and then say she's not interested. Then why contact me in the first place🤪
2nd time she's played me. I didn't ask her to contact me. Really weird. |
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Hi OP, if thing's were going really well and you got on great at your coffee meet, would you not check in with him and ask him how he's feeling? He turned up and said he was unwell and texted you after he left to say sorry..
Did you book the hotel? Had you planned on sharing the cost of a night away? If you are out of pocket I can understand the annoyance of that too. Maybe you can talk to him about it.
If he's ghosted you since that last text, he obviously changed his mind and doesn't want any contact with you. I'd delete his contact and block.
C'est la vie I'm afraid. 🪷
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"I've had a woman contact me 4 months ago and then ghost me only to reappear last night, send pictures and then say she's not interested. Then why contact me in the first place🤪
2nd time she's played me. I didn't ask her to contact me. Really weird. "
Clearly she has crap taste. Never would I ghost you. You're fabulous and fabulously beautiful |
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I understand it’s disappointing when plans don’t go as expected, but they did show up as arranged, they communicated that they weren’t feeling well, and apologized both in person and again afterward.
If there’s another reason behind their actions, it’s better not to invest more time in them. But in even looking for one in this situation it’s feels very damned if you do damned if you don’t.
Ella |
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"I've had a woman contact me 4 months ago and then ghost me only to reappear last night, send pictures and then say she's not interested. Then why contact me in the first place🤪
2nd time she's played me. I didn't ask her to contact me. Really weird.
Clearly she has crap taste. Never would I ghost you. You're fabulous and fabulously beautiful "
Thank you so much, I've never had such a lovely compliment from another man before.... Fionn here  |
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By *panishRebelMan 4 weeks ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!! "
Depends on wether you lost money on hotel or not.
If ye did, actions should show the truth of his words an apology followed by covering the cost.
It could be as others point out a genuine thing. Shit happens. It's how we deal with the shit that counts.
My two cents worth comment..... |
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"More than likely attached/married. She's away on a girlie weekend. He thought, yea .. perfect opportunity to play away! But...the small bit of conscience he has stopped him from going through with it.
I genuinely hope you are ok. What a hideous thing for him to have done. Hugs xx"
Wow... straight to the "he is married" |
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"I've been on the receiving end of that. I was due to meet a couple last year. Got to their hotel, left them know I was there, message read. No reply. They went off line and nothing. I waited about an hour and left. I never got a reason.
I know it's not convenient. I know people get cold feet and change their mind.. but the golden rule of swinging is that anyone can say no at any time.
What's a shame here is he met you, led you on, but ultimately couldn't follow through. It sounds like he was new to swinging and couldn't follow through with it. In the ideal would he would have drank the coffee when he first met, and declined further fun.
Having been on the receiving end - I sympathise, but it would be worse to have sex and regret it. "
Or he was actually unwell, there was no leading on, and it's total conjecture that he couldn't follow through
If a woman did what this guy did you can guarantee there'd be no casting aspersions |
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"I've had a woman contact me 4 months ago and then ghost me only to reappear last night, send pictures and then say she's not interested. Then why contact me in the first place🤪
2nd time she's played me. I didn't ask her to contact me. Really weird.
Clearly she has crap taste. Never would I ghost you. You're fabulous and fabulously beautiful
Thank you so much, I've never had such a lovely compliment from another man before.... Fionn here "
 |
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Sorry to read this.it sure is a real kick in the stones when these things happen.now I think at least he had some sort of balls to turn up even though he left straight away as shitty as it is.i do think he should have stayed a short while and explained better if he wasn't well if he wasn't well enough for the date maybe he shouldn't have drove to it in the first place but either way it's you that's left looking like a fool which is totally unacceptable.it has happened me a few times before where I was stood up for meets so I can feel your pain.hopefully the next person will treat you with a bit more respect and not mess you over |
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"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!! "
Unfortunately it happens, We dont know what is going on in the background in peoples lives, truth is rarely told and mind games are played. He might have panicked, might have been married, mayble his first meet, anxiety, meets are rarely perfect even if the location is. Hopefully he will provide you with a real explanation for his disappearing act. |
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By *rRiosMan 4 weeks ago
dublin |
One person can obviously change their mind. The other person can obviously feel hard done by. The two are not mutually exclusive. The closer to the meet the cancelation, the worse everyone is going to feel imo but especially the person who’s being canceled on |
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By *ustBoWoman 4 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
So a guy shows up says he is unwell and leaves texts to say he is sorry and still gets slated on here by some.
Bloody hell men just can't get a break on here. Maybe he was genuinely sick would it be better if he carried on even though he was unwell. Maybe he just didn't feel it anymore and realised when he met again ,should he just sympathy shag for the sake of it.
He showed up and he did apologise and yet he is in the wrong cos he left .Well shocker is men are just as entitled to change their minds or actually be taken by their word if he says he wasn't well,at least he showed up.
The whole jumping to conclusions on here yet again on a thread about a man saying he may be married etc with absolutely no proof whatsoever, I would have thought after the thread this morning people might wise up but it seems not.
And op you say ye got on great at the social meet, I hope he sees this thread and realises that he made the right decision by walking away when he did whatever his reasons. Because as far as I can see he did nothing wrong. He even text after to say sorry what more exactly was he meant to do. |
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By *rRiosMan 4 weeks ago
dublin |
"So a guy shows up says he is unwell and leaves texts to say he is sorry and still gets slated on here by some.
Bloody hell men just can't get a break on here. Maybe he was genuinely sick would it be better if he carried on even though he was unwell. Maybe he just didn't feel it anymore and realised when he met again ,should he just sympathy shag for the sake of it.
He showed up and he did apologise and yet he is in the wrong cos he left .Well shocker is men are just as entitled to change their minds or actually be taken by their word if he says he wasn't well,at least he showed up.
The whole jumping to conclusions on here yet again on a thread about a man saying he may be married etc with absolutely no proof whatsoever, I would have thought after the thread this morning people might wise up but it seems not.
And op you say ye got on great at the social meet, I hope he sees this thread and realises that he made the right decision by walking away when he did whatever his reasons. Because as far as I can see he did nothing wrong. He even text after to say sorry what more exactly was he meant to do. "
Well imo, what he did wrong was not say it in person. It’s not the be all and end all but it’s a little bit more respectful than slying out the door and texting during a meet. As I said in my post above, OP has a right to feel aggrieved but the man didn’t do much wrong either. Just my tuppence mind, I’m sure others could feel different. |
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Or maybe just maybe the guy was feeling unwell, but did show up cause he could guess what the impression might be if he didn't show up, then when he did show he actually still felt unwell & went out for fresh air & got sick, then instead of going in feeling even worse & stinking of vomit he left & text to say he had to go
Sounds pretty plausible right 🤣🤣 |
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By *oldByMarCouple 4 weeks ago
playa de ingles / outa da west |
"So a guy shows up says he is unwell and leaves texts to say he is sorry and still gets slated on here by some.
Bloody hell men just can't get a break on here. Maybe he was genuinely sick would it be better if he carried on even though he was unwell. Maybe he just didn't feel it anymore and realised when he met again ,should he just sympathy shag for the sake of it.
He showed up and he did apologise and yet he is in the wrong cos he left .Well shocker is men are just as entitled to change their minds or actually be taken by their word if he says he wasn't well,at least he showed up.
The whole jumping to conclusions on here yet again on a thread about a man saying he may be married etc with absolutely no proof whatsoever, I would have thought after the thread this morning people might wise up but it seems not.
And op you say ye got on great at the social meet, I hope he sees this thread and realises that he made the right decision by walking away when he did whatever his reasons. Because as far as I can see he did nothing wrong. He even text after to say sorry what more exactly was he meant to do. "
Well said Bo
Too many people with assumptions on here
The guy could have had Covid and felt he couldn’t go ahead with the meet incase of the worst and spread it to the lady .
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By *ergalMan 4 weeks ago
East Cork |
"So a guy shows up says he is unwell and leaves texts to say he is sorry and still gets slated on here by some.
Bloody hell men just can't get a break on here. Maybe he was genuinely sick would it be better if he carried on even though he was unwell. Maybe he just didn't feel it anymore and realised when he met again ,should he just sympathy shag for the sake of it.
He showed up and he did apologise and yet he is in the wrong cos he left .Well shocker is men are just as entitled to change their minds or actually be taken by their word if he says he wasn't well,at least he showed up.
The whole jumping to conclusions on here yet again on a thread about a man saying he may be married etc with absolutely no proof whatsoever, I would have thought after the thread this morning people might wise up but it seems not.
And op you say ye got on great at the social meet, I hope he sees this thread and realises that he made the right decision by walking away when he did whatever his reasons. Because as far as I can see he did nothing wrong. He even text after to say sorry what more exactly was he meant to do. "
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By *rRiosMan 4 weeks ago
dublin |
"Well said Bo
Too many people with assumptions on here
The guy could have had Covid and felt he couldn’t go ahead with the meet incase of the worst and spread it to the lady .
"
Is that not a pretty big assumption, do you reckon he brought the test with him or the hotel supplied it?  Again, he had every right to back out, it just could have been handled better imo. |
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By *oldByMarCouple 4 weeks ago
playa de ingles / outa da west |
"Well said Bo
Too many people with assumptions on here
The guy could have had Covid and felt he couldn’t go ahead with the meet incase of the worst and spread it to the lady .
Is that not a pretty big assumption, do you reckon he brought the test with him or the hotel supplied it? Again, he had every right to back out, it just could have been handled better imo. "
Well everyone is entitled to their opinion
Smart hole |
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By *rRiosMan 4 weeks ago
dublin |
"Well said Bo
Too many people with assumptions on here
The guy could have had Covid and felt he couldn’t go ahead with the meet incase of the worst and spread it to the lady .
Is that not a pretty big assumption, do you reckon he brought the test with him or the hotel supplied it? Again, he had every right to back out, it just could have been handled better imo.
Well everyone is entitled to their opinion
Smart hole "
True, I wasn’t trying to be smart and I didn’t mean to come across that way. I was trying to offer some balance to the discussion and tried to add a little bit of humor. Apologies.
Anyway, I’m out. OP, sorry you got stood up. Guy who stood her up, I’m sorry for whatever ailment you have.  |
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"More than likely his conscience got the better of him. I can't believe it was left till last minute though hope you are ok "
I know right! Those pesky inconsiderate illnesses not giving us notice of when they're going to hit 🙄
Have you never felt ropey and thought "I'll be ok, I'll wait it out. I'm sure I'll feel better in a wee while" only to feel ten times worse when a wee while has passed?
Never been suddenly caught out by sudden a onset tummy bug?
Perhaps a niggly back, which as the day passes, becomes unbearably painful?
Suffered from anxiety and think that you can cope with a situation, but once you get there you are so overwhelmed that you can't even think or breathe?
If not, bravo! I hope your luck continues and, should you ever fall unexpectedly ill, you produce your sick line in a timely fashion.
I'm sure the OP is disappointed and perhaps felt put out, that's natural. Those feelings ARE valid. But the guy didn't stand her up. He went and excused himself ~ in person ~ when he could have sent a message or just not bothered at all.
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By *oldByMarCouple 4 weeks ago
playa de ingles / outa da west |
"Well said Bo
Too many people with assumptions on here
The guy could have had Covid and felt he couldn’t go ahead with the meet incase of the worst and spread it to the lady .
Is that not a pretty big assumption, do you reckon he brought the test with him or the hotel supplied it? Again, he had every right to back out, it just could have been handled better imo.
Well everyone is entitled to their opinion
Smart hole
True, I wasn’t trying to be smart and I didn’t mean to come across that way. I was trying to offer some balance to the discussion and tried to add a little bit of humor. Apologies.
Anyway, I’m out. OP, sorry you got stood up. Guy who stood her up, I’m sorry for whatever ailment you have. "
Apology accepted and thank you for your honesty and explanation.
Not that it was needed |
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By *oldByMarCouple 4 weeks ago
playa de ingles / outa da west |
"More than likely his conscience got the better of him. I can't believe it was left till last minute though hope you are ok
I know right! Those pesky inconsiderate illnesses not giving us notice of when they're going to hit 🙄
Have you never felt ropey and thought "I'll be ok, I'll wait it out. I'm sure I'll feel better in a wee while" only to feel ten times worse when a wee while has passed?
Never been suddenly caught out by sudden a onset tummy bug?
Perhaps a niggly back, which as the day passes, becomes unbearably painful?
Suffered from anxiety and think that you can cope with a situation, but once you get there you are so overwhelmed that you can't even think or breathe?
If not, bravo! I hope your luck continues and, should you ever fall unexpectedly ill, you produce your sick line in a timely fashion.
I'm sure the OP is disappointed and perhaps felt put out, that's natural. Those feelings ARE valid. But the guy didn't stand her up. He went and excused himself ~ in person ~ when he could have sent a message or just not bothered at all.
"
Well said lipstick 💄
That’s it put in plain English
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"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!! "
A wanker |
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"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!!
A wanker"
How is he? He met op in person? Didn't run away, she is what I seen on profile I would say attractive, but people can just change mind and have other stuff going on, as said he not a wanker as he met in person to say sorry |
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"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Give me strength!!
A wanker
How is he? He met op in person? Didn't run away, she is what I seen on profile I would say attractive, but people can just change mind and have other stuff going on, as said he not a wanker as he met in person to say sorry "
If he was feeling unwell why did he not ring op beforehand save op travelling.
I was once left sitting in Connolly station like a big eejit and no show. If you can't make social let them know before they travel |
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"Why does a man arrange a coffee meet, things went great, texting every day and arrange a meet, lovely hotel and dinner booked - he turns up and says he’s ‘unwell’, goes out to car and drives away - sends me a text with a ‘sorry’
Looking in the wrong places
Give me strength!! "
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By *og-ManMan 4 weeks ago
somewhere |
"He didn’t excuse himself
He walked out !! Left me sitting there on my own
I rang twice - no answer
"
Right so he got cold feet and never came back ....a bit different to what most people understood from your post
Not nice for you to be left sitting there but you're not the first it's happened to and it won't be the last
Some people don't like confrontation and find it easier to walk away |
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 that sucks! It feels crappy but by the sounds of it he was quite nice about it all. Dating/socials can be hit and miss unfortunately
If he was having second thoughts I think I’d prefer he did it before the room as opposed to after
- Mrs |
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By *rRiosMan 4 weeks ago
dublin |
"He didn’t excuse himself
He walked out !! Left me sitting there on my own
I rang twice - no answer
Right so he got cold feet and never came back ....a bit different to what most people understood from your post
Not nice for you to be left sitting there but you're not the first it's happened to and it won't be the last
Some people don't like confrontation and find it easier to walk away "
I know I said I was out but just no! Bog, I respect you opinion but just no! If you want to back out, fair. You’re entitled to. If you don’t want to face the person when you do back out? Also fair, though a bit shitty. If you are refusing phone calls (assuming you had swapped numbers which is a big thing here) then it’s super shitty.
If a woman treated me like this I’d be fuming. And that’s not to to say the woman had valid reasons to bail on me but I would expect a little bit of respect and decency. It shouldn’t be too much to ask for if you’re leaving someone high and dry sitting in a hotel that you’ve met them in. Again, just my take and I understand the potential reasons for bailing. But it was handled atrociously. And I’m not white knighting here, OP got fuck yourself too. It’s probably what you had to do |
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When did it become normalised to just up and walk out of a hotel room and not come back without a word of explanation and that be ok?
Obviously everyone has the right to change their mind at any time but common courtesy dictates saying something. Anything.
But just vanashing and texting 'sorry' and ghosting? No. I would not accept that.
That is, in my opinion, a dick move.
I'm responding this to the discussion and not on the OP's experience per say. Without meaning any disresept OP the forum only has your experience with which to base the responses on and their are two sides to every story.
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Hi OP, I get where your coming from it sucks lemons but tbf to him he turned up, maybe he was unwell who knows ,I get the whole rejection thing can play with your mind, everyone deals with that differently some people can suck it up and move on others cant , it's both unfair to judge the guys reaction as it is to judge your reaction to rejection. Its life, nexttttttt up. |
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By *og-ManMan 4 weeks ago
somewhere |
"He didn’t excuse himself
He walked out !! Left me sitting there on my own
I rang twice - no answer
Right so he got cold feet and never came back ....a bit different to what most people understood from your post
Not nice for you to be left sitting there but you're not the first it's happened to and it won't be the last
Some people don't like confrontation and find it easier to walk away
I know I said I was out but just no! Bog, I respect you opinion but just no! If you want to back out, fair. You’re entitled to. If you don’t want to face the person when you do back out? Also fair, though a bit shitty. If you are refusing phone calls (assuming you had swapped numbers which is a big thing here) then it’s super shitty.
If a woman treated me like this I’d be fuming. And that’s not to to say the woman had valid reasons to bail on me but I would expect a little bit of respect and decency. It shouldn’t be too much to ask for if you’re leaving someone high and dry sitting in a hotel that you’ve met them in. Again, just my take and I understand the potential reasons for bailing. But it was handled atrociously. And I’m not white knighting here, OP got fuck yourself too. It’s probably what you had to do "
I'm not disagreeing with you on anything
But from reading the first post and people's answers an assumption was made that he apologised and left ....which was fine
But he just walked out and OP assumed he was coming back
That would disappoint anyone male or female
I've helped organised socials where some men walked in, take a look at the women and walk out again ...like a cattle market
That's horrible |
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"So a guy shows up says he is unwell and leaves texts to say he is sorry and still gets slated on here by some.
Bloody hell men just can't get a break on here. Maybe he was genuinely sick would it be better if he carried on even though he was unwell. Maybe he just didn't feel it anymore and realised when he met again ,should he just sympathy shag for the sake of it.
He showed up and he did apologise and yet he is in the wrong cos he left .Well shocker is men are just as entitled to change their minds or actually be taken by their word if he says he wasn't well,at least he showed up.
The whole jumping to conclusions on here yet again on a thread about a man saying he may be married etc with absolutely no proof whatsoever, I would have thought after the thread this morning people might wise up but it seems not.
And op you say ye got on great at the social meet, I hope he sees this thread and realises that he made the right decision by walking away when he did whatever his reasons. Because as far as I can see he did nothing wrong. He even text after to say sorry what more exactly was he meant to do. "
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He should have cancelled earlier in the day and saved her the hassle of getting dressed up and showing up. Given her the opportunity to make other plans.
If he was truly unwell and interested, he ld be making alternative plans with her, and staying in contact. |
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"He should have cancelled earlier in the day and saved her the hassle of getting dressed up and showing up. Given her the opportunity to make other plans.
If he was truly unwell and interested, he ld be making alternative plans with her, and staying in contact. "
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👏🏻 |
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"He didn’t excuse himself
He walked out !! Left me sitting there on my own
I rang twice - no answer
"
I'm confused about what actually happened now.
I guess that's the problem with only hearing one side of the story or getting one side drip fed.
Yes, given what you've said now, he definitely could have handled it better but I do still believe that everyone has the right to walk away at any point if things don't feel right. As I said previously, your feelings are valid, just as his reasons for leaving are valid to him. Hopefully he'll have come away from the situation realising he handled it badly and learn from it, although I appreciate that's scant consolation for you OP
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"He didn’t excuse himself
He walked out !! Left me sitting there on my own
I rang twice - no answer
Ohh! That’s very different to what I initially understood. That’s terrible, I’m sorry OP - Mrs"
Totally different to what I understood from your post as well that’s appalling behaviour
Ella |
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"He didn’t excuse himself
He walked out !! Left me sitting there on my own
I rang twice - no answer
I'm confused about what actually happened now.
I guess that's the problem with only hearing one side of the story or getting one side drip fed.
Yes, given what you've said now, he definitely could have handled it better but I do still believe that everyone has the right to walk away at any point if things don't feel right. As I said previously, your feelings are valid, just as his reasons for leaving are valid to him. Hopefully he'll have come away from the situation realising he handled it badly and learn from it, although I appreciate that's scant consolation for you OP
"
I’m confused?? When did he tell you he was unwell? Did he tell you he was unwell and then leave- which is understandable?? I don’t feel like we have the full story here. I feel I can ask as you brought it to a public forum to be discussed |
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By *ogladyWoman 4 weeks ago
The bog |
"He didn’t excuse himself
He walked out !! Left me sitting there on my own
I rang twice - no answer
"
You wrote that he showed up said he was u.well went to his car and drove out then texted sorry..
We need clarification here..
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By *ogladyWoman 4 weeks ago
The bog |
"He didn’t excuse himself
He walked out !! Left me sitting there on my own
I rang twice - no answer
You wrote that he showed up said he was u.well went to his car and drove out then texted sorry..
We need clarification here..
"
I just read Ur status update which u say he turned up for dinner says his unwell and drives away then tetxs gotta go..
So. Again I don't think people should be bashing this guy till we get clarity.. Just my opinion.. |
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