FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > How do you react...
How do you react...
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....to the ignorant crude crass messages you receive?
99% of the time I just ignore and delete them but it's hard not to get a little upset at times. Today is one of those days. I suppose it's all related to where the mind is at.
Like how does anyone think it's ok to send such hideous messages?
'How would you like a few Donegal men to fuck you?'
Seriously? How is this normal acceptable behaviour?
Becoming more disillusioned as each day passes yet I'm reluctant to delete my account as there are definitely some really sound folk here too.
Catch 22!
Pearls of wisdom, or even a decent message would be most grateful!!
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Hide profile and just message people that catch your eye.
Tbh, and I realise this is a ridiculous statement, that seems like a tame message for fab/ the internet in general. And being realistic you will get alot more and worse content. Maybe take a break if these messages are starting to get to you.
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By *og-ManMan 5 weeks ago
somewhere |
I know one man who asks woman would they like to be fucked by his dog
I know it's easy to say but have you checked your filters to make sure everything's as tight as can be to help try stop the gobshites
Also if a message header looks dodgy block and delete without giving it a second thought
You don't owe anything to anonymous Internet wankers |
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Hate seeing or hearing about this kind of stuff , but I think being open and putting it out there helps, there was some great advice given from the previous contributers , and as always if you want an odd vent PM me. |
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They're just faceless morons on the internet...they're actually to be pitied really!! Reply with a smart comment and immediate block!! Then forget all about them... they're not worth a second thought!! Hope your day picks up!!  |
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Sorry to hear your getting such upsetting messages on here.there are a lot of hateful and disturbed people here who must get a kink out of abusing other people and it is so wrong no wonder the world is so messed up these days with the calibre of person who gets enjoyment out of abusing or treating others with so little respect.
Take care of yourself and I hope you get a lift out of peoples comments on the thread |
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I call it out before blocking, adding notes( never know who you could meet at an event in the future) and deleting;
I ask is that how you would speak to a person you approached in a bar or met on the street?
Generally I get back some variation of; relax, what’s your problem, I was just being nice or we are all here for the same thing and without fail the response will include hahahaha or lol, because they seem to think that absolves any wrongdoing.
Whilst I already know from the first message they haven’t read my profile, don’t know or care the site FAQs exists, they have no respect for boundaries, don’t understand consent and have any concept of what anyone else is actually on this site for.
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"I know one man who asks woman would they like to be fucked by his dog
I know it's easy to say but have you checked your filters to make sure everything's as tight as can be to help try stop the gobshites
Fucked by his Dog..????
Did I read that correctly 🤯
Also if a message header looks dodgy block and delete without giving it a second thought
You don't owe anything to anonymous Internet wankers "
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I agree it's not the worst message I or anyone else will have received on here, not by a long shot...but for some reason or other today it's just got to me.
To think that a lot of these 'men' probably have sisters/daughters in their lives and think that it's an acceptable way to speak to any female is pretty disturbing.
Thanks for your replies folks, and messages too x |
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"I know one man who asks woman would they like to be fucked by his dog
I know it's easy to say but have you checked your filters to make sure everything's as tight as can be to help try stop the gobshites
Also if a message header looks dodgy block and delete without giving it a second thought
You don't owe anything to anonymous Internet wankers "
Yep had that message, not only vile but a criminal act.
As you say it’s easy enough to say filters, but it shouldn’t be on any of us in this community to manage what we do to prevent others bad behaviour. I take my filters up and down on this and our couples profile for various reasons depending on what we are doing, prime example when taking part in forum fun
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Obviously I don't get many messages but I've had a few crass ones over the years, mostly from very well verified couples.
I usually ask them if they'd had any success with an ignorant approach like that and most of them said yes every time.
I then got all sorts of abuse and threats when I said not this time.
It's one of the reasons I've blocked quite a few of the "hot" popular couples who post on the Ireland forum. |
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You might be surprised by the amount of straight guys who send these types of messages.... (Will ya take a load) ( will ya do bareback) ( ya sissy prick)
I just take notes, delete and block.
Honestly they aren't worth a second thought. Don't lose any sleep over them. There are plenty of genuine people on here , just takes a bit of finding ,that's all. Keep your chin up OP.  |
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"I agree it's not the worst message I or anyone else will have received on here, not by a long shot...but for some reason or other today it's just got to me.
To think that a lot of these 'men' probably have sisters/daughters in their lives and think that it's an acceptable way to speak to any female is pretty disturbing.
Thanks for your replies folks, and messages too x"
...someone else mentioned that you should tighten up your filters. Those type of messages you've described usually come from new members, who aren't used to getting refused.
I clicked on your inbox...im outside your age range....and I can message you( research purposes only of course)..  .. |
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"I agree it's not the worst message I or anyone else will have received on here, not by a long shot...but for some reason or other today it's just got to me.
To think that a lot of these 'men' probably have sisters/daughters in their lives and think that it's an acceptable way to speak to any female is pretty disturbing.
Thanks for your replies folks, and messages too x...someone else mentioned that you should tighten up your filters. Those type of messages you've described usually come from new members, who aren't used to getting refused.
I clicked on your inbox...im outside your age range....and I can message you( research purposes only of course).. .."
Should've said hello! 😂 |
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I have to admit I was shocked by this sort of behaviour when I joined up but it seems to be normal for men on here?
Maybe they are hoping to draw attention to themselves and get a reply because I'm not sure if nice guys on here get replied to so maybe it's a way to stand out?
It still shouldn't be tolerated though and it's not a way to speak to any human being. |
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"I agree it's not the worst message I or anyone else will have received on here, not by a long shot...but for some reason or other today it's just got to me.
To think that a lot of these 'men' probably have sisters/daughters in their lives and think that it's an acceptable way to speak to any female is pretty disturbing.
Thanks for your replies folks, and messages too x...someone else mentioned that you should tighten up your filters. Those type of messages you've described usually come from new members, who aren't used to getting refused.
I clicked on your inbox...im outside your age range....and I can message you( research purposes only of course).. ..
Should've said hello! 😂"
Should've told them aye no bother, then send them halfway round the country 👌🤣 |
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Block them. If more people block them then they might cop on a bit.
No way they'd said that to your face, just because they are hiding behind a keyboard doesn't give them the right to say that to you.
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Depending on my mood I'll either delete and block or come up with something suitably sarcastic then block. Anything abusive/illegal gets reported first, but truthfully, I don't get many nasty or naaaasty messages so I accept that the odd one comes with the territory |
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Don't think there's any winning- just had a guy as if I was close to Campsie - his profile said to ignore if not happy about the fact he's married etc so I did just that. Suddenly I receive nonsense about manners and told to jog on etc.
Then there's the other side where people are genuinely nice and put in a big effort and left stood up etc - seen both sides. Think people just need not to be dicks to each other - respect,consent and boundaries. It's really that simple. |
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"Don't think there's any winning- just had a guy as if I was close to Campsie - his profile said to ignore if not happy about the fact he's married etc so I did just that. Suddenly I receive nonsense about manners and told to jog on etc.
Then there's the other side where people are genuinely nice and put in a big effort and left stood up etc - seen both sides. Think people just need not to be dicks to each other - respect,consent and boundaries. It's really that simple. "
And it's ignorant people like that who are putting women off genuine people, who would wish nothing but the best for other's!! They need to jog on!!!! |
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Delete and block. Not worth another second of your thoughts.
Mrs will never see them anyway, I'm the firewall.
Incel culture is growing and the reason is simple: women have so much more control now than they did decades ago, but a lot of men have not changed and are being left behind in society. These are the type of men that send those messages.
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"Delete and block. Not worth another second of your thoughts.
Mrs will never see them anyway, I'm the firewall.
Incel culture is growing and the reason is simple: women have so much more control now than they did decades ago, but a lot of men have not changed and are being left behind in society. These are the type of men that send those messages.
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I slightly disagree I think with this technology and anonymity this these messages would have been sent at any time. |
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Delete and block… I know it can be hard not to take these things personally, but try to remember that it’s more a reflection of the author than you! I have developed a tough skin here, but if one does bother me a bit, I do find that I feel better when I remind myself that at least they made their true selves known and I’m happy to have dodged that one…I even find myself smiling sometimes, chin up😉 |
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By *ustBoWoman 5 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I delete them usually,I don't even open them if I get an idea that's it's one of those messages by the few lines you see them sometimes I'll read them then mark unread and delete.If I'm in the mood I'll just annoy the hell out of them with replies just to see how long it takes them to block me. I always put a note on the profile though so I just delete any other messages they may send later on.
It's rare I get messages like that or in fact any messages thanks to having filters tighter than a ducks ass. But when it does happen I just think they are a cockwomble and forget about them. |
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"I delete them usually,I don't even open them if I get an idea that's it's one of those messages by the few lines you see them sometimes I'll read them then mark unread and delete.If I'm in the mood I'll just annoy the hell out of them with replies just to see how long it takes them to block me. I always put a note on the profile though so I just delete any other messages they may send later on.
It's rare I get messages like that or in fact any messages thanks to having filters tighter than a ducks ass. But when it does happen I just think they are a cockwomble and forget about them. "
Fine use of the word cockwomble |
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I had a nosy on your profile and you’re clearly a very friendly, well liked lady here , and as you say you don’t usually let that sort of crap get to you. Block the pricks , keep the head up , you’re 100 times better than any keyboard warrior. |
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I got 'I'm going to drain my heavy cumming balls down your throat'. It made me feel sick and disgusted. Another one was 'after this GB I'm going to your house to give you my last load'.
No asking...just telling me this is the way it is going to be. It's so gross and entitled. And it paints single men in a very negative light. |
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I hear you OP. The stuff that some people choose to spew out as an opening message really does beggar belief.
Whenever I hear about this kind of message I’m reminded of Tommy Tiernan talking about his (presumably fictional, but now doubt based on a real person) friend “Declan Moffat”, whom he described as “full of raw, sexual energy, but it’s not wrapped up in any sort of charm.”
That’s what these guys are: the Declan Moffets of the world, the totally ridiculous butt of the joke. Don’t take them any more seriously than that. They’re not worth taking up any space in your head.
On a side note I speculate that what drives a lot of this behaviour is poor management of sexual frustration. Left unchecked it festers and becomes absolutely toxic, to the point where they think this is a reasonable way to behave. |
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