FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Fellow nerdy neurodivergent folk
Fellow nerdy neurodivergent folk
Jump to: Newest in thread
Gonna go out on a limb here as we're an AuDHD/autistic couple and we prefer to hang and play with others we can at least somewhat unmask with...
Giving fewer fucks these days and have extremely limited patience and energy for common neurotypical interactions, small talk, NT societal expectations, etc.
We've met a lot of nice ND people in the scene, both here and the kink community and would love to meet some more 😘🤓🙃 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *panishRebelMan 6 weeks ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
Too many people hide who they are. Let it loose and fly with it.
I'm a un-officially diagnosed ADD (they have changed the term now, to what I forget). This is the laid back version of ADHD....also I'm dyslexic. None of which bothers me, but did bother my ex!
I am not a fan of the labels for use in everyday life. It's supposed to bring acceptance but I think it separates more then brings together.
For me nothing like plain old not getting up on a high horse and not jumping to conclusions but be curious and forgiving of the things that irritate knowing that what you give is what you get.
Ahm....over-rant finished 🤣🤣🤣
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *asual777Man 6 weeks ago
i travel all over |
Tbh making accommodations for a potential partner who
requires a bit more certainty/consistency in others’ behavior and language
might have particular sensory needs
might be prone to a bit more anxiety sometimes
Should be standard for everyone . It d be a shame to feel that only other atypical people can be a mate |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Tbh making accommodations for a potential partner who
requires a bit more certainty/consistency in others’ behavior and language
might have particular sensory needs
might be prone to a bit more anxiety sometimes
Should be standard for everyone . It d be a shame to feel that only other atypical people can be a mate "
I agree with the above in relation to everyday interactions but so much for potential partner (mate hate that term)
No body should feel obliged to accommodate any trait in a partner that they are not comfortable with |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ombikerMan 6 weeks ago
the right side of the river |
"Tbh making accommodations for a potential partner who
requires a bit more certainty/consistency in others’ behavior and language
might have particular sensory needs
might be prone to a bit more anxiety sometimes
Should be standard for everyone . It d be a shame to feel that only other atypical people can be a mate
I agree with the above in relation to everyday interactions but so much for potential partner (mate hate that term)
No body should feel obliged to accommodate any trait in a partner that they are not comfortable with "
If you have to change your natural self to accommodate a potential partner then maybe they are not for you.
Everyone has to be themselves and allowed to be themselves |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *asual777Man 6 weeks ago
i travel all over |
I wasn’t talking about changing yourself so much . Every person one meets on here has their preferences , kinks , likes and dislikes
The above is no different to me from distinguishing whether potential sexual partner x likes hotels or not, a social before or not , group meets or not , certain types of sexual activity or not , a cup of tea afterwards or not , lots of sexy chat after during or before or not etc etc
One is constantly accommodating for others and others are accommodating for you . It’s part of being human . If it’s excessive fine but some give and take is standard |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
|
"Tbh making accommodations for a potential partner who
requires a bit more certainty/consistency in others’ behavior and language
might have particular sensory needs
might be prone to a bit more anxiety sometimes
Should be standard for everyone . It d be a shame to feel that only other atypical people can be a mate "
😃 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Gonna go out on a limb here as we're an AuDHD/autistic couple and we prefer to hang and play with others we can at least somewhat unmask with...
Giving fewer fucks these days and have extremely limited patience and energy for common neurotypical interactions, small talk, NT societal expectations, etc.
We've met a lot of nice ND people in the scene, both here and the kink community and would love to meet some more 😘🤓🙃 "
You've met me, and my ping-pong brain |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Gonna go out on a limb here as we're an AuDHD/autistic couple and we prefer to hang and play with others we can at least somewhat unmask with...
Giving fewer fucks these days and have extremely limited patience and energy for common neurotypical interactions, small talk, NT societal expectations, etc.
We've met a lot of nice ND people in the scene, both here and the kink community and would love to meet some more 😘🤓🙃
You've met me, and my ping-pong brain "
Absolutely and wonder if we'll ever cross paths again ❤️❤️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Too many people hide who they are. Let it loose and fly with it.
I'm a un-officially diagnosed ADD (they have changed the term now, to what I forget). This is the laid back version of ADHD....also I'm dyslexic. None of which bothers me, but did bother my ex!
I am not a fan of the labels for use in everyday life. It's supposed to bring acceptance but I think it separates more then brings together.
For me nothing like plain old not getting up on a high horse and not jumping to conclusions but be curious and forgiving of the things that irritate knowing that what you give is what you get.
Ahm....over-rant finished 🤣🤣🤣
"
We have no issues with using labels - labels are just words to describe something and open a conversation.. so they're not inherently a bad thing 🙃
Sometimes words may cause division but they also may give an opportunity for learning and acceptance.
For us, (like many people) we enjoy meeting people of all sorts but it can be comforting and simply less "work" to be around people who are more similar to us and may have shared experiences we all can relate to without needing to explain our minds and behavior at a fundamental level.
In our experience, hanging out with many neurotypical people in a social environment often involves an abundance of small talk and topics we find boring and difficult to discuss - it's exhausting. So it can be refreshing to meet others who think and feel the same as we do- hence the genesis of this thread 🤗 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Gonna go out on a limb here as we're an AuDHD/autistic couple and we prefer to hang and play with others we can at least somewhat unmask with...
Giving fewer fucks these days and have extremely limited patience and energy for common neurotypical interactions, small talk, NT societal expectations, etc.
We've met a lot of nice ND people in the scene, both here and the kink community and would love to meet some more 😘🤓🙃
You've met me, and my ping-pong brain
Absolutely and wonder if we'll ever cross paths again ❤️❤️" id be on classed as been on the septum, due to rain man type brain for certian things, and OCD, plus have children with my ex who are ND , ADHD, discacullia, dyslexic, so fully understand the not giving a fu*k and be who you are |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For what it's worth to the others on the thread talking about changing and making accommodations.. not entirely sure how that line of thinking started 😅
Of course we *should* all accept one another for who we are and everyone should be free to be themselves - but that's not realistic. We all change and accommodate and mask to varying degrees when around other people. It's just harder for some than it is for others 🫠 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We are ADHD but unlikely to meet you as we are opposite end of the island. But one thing I love in the kink community is the neurodivergence and the acceptance that its likely to be there frim the off. In Dublin there's an ND munch. We were just saying every munch we've been to in Belfast is effectively an ND munch.
For me it affects social battery. Also I just can't socialise until 3am and I can get anxious. I display some autistic traits but undiagnosed. For my partner it means he's jumping from one shiny thing to another.
It's all part of the rich diversity of life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've found ADHD at least to be weirdly over presented, many people I've met at events have brought it up to me without my even mentioning my own.
I believe the kink community is also very friendly to neurodivergence. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hey Blowins,
I'm part of a Polyrelationship and we are an extremely neuro, geeky, nerdy, cool, chatty, sexy couple.
We'd love to meet you and see if we connect. Distance is probably an issue for it being regular but hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder 😘😉 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We were lucky enough to meet this lovely couple at a recent meet and you couldn’t meet nicer.. looking forward to our paths crossing again soon hopefully "
Aw thanks! Well you know where to find us 🤗😘 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey Blowins,
I'm part of a Polyrelationship and we are an extremely neuro, geeky, nerdy, cool, chatty, sexy couple.
We'd love to meet you and see if we connect. Distance is probably an issue for it being regular but hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder 😘😉"
Distance is almost always a deal breaker for us as we are unwilling to travel but if you ever find yourself in the Cork scene, feel free to say hi 🤗 (we already share at least one Telegram group btw😉) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Fellow audhd head full of bees here. Stopped bothering with masking a long time ago. Life is too short to try to live up to other people's (completely arbitrary, and often very poorly communicated) expectations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey Blowins,
I'm part of a Polyrelationship and we are an extremely neuro, geeky, nerdy, cool, chatty, sexy couple.
We'd love to meet you and see if we connect. Distance is probably an issue for it being regular but hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder 😘😉
Distance is almost always a deal breaker for us as we are unwilling to travel but if you ever find yourself in the Cork scene, feel free to say hi 🤗 (we already share at least one Telegram group btw😉)"
Are you going to Flame Nov 2nd?
We're down for that, with a female friend.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Gonna go out on a limb here as we're an AuDHD/autistic couple and we prefer to hang and play with others we can at least somewhat unmask with...
Giving fewer fucks these days and have extremely limited patience and energy for common neurotypical interactions, small talk, NT societal expectations, etc.
We've met a lot of nice ND people in the scene, both here and the kink community and would love to meet some more 😘🤓🙃 "
Profile is hidden so we could message ye. But adhd/autistic couple here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Gonna go out on a limb here as we're an AuDHD/autistic couple and we prefer to hang and play with others we can at least somewhat unmask with...
Giving fewer fucks these days and have extremely limited patience and energy for common neurotypical interactions, small talk, NT societal expectations, etc.
We've met a lot of nice ND people in the scene, both here and the kink community and would love to meet some more 😘🤓🙃 "
The small talk is exhausting.
Not sure what else to do, I've a terrible tendency to infodump about my special interests though.
Apologies to anyone getting my Yeti theories |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Anyone have many bad meets with people because of being neurodivergent?
Where you just mistook everything each other was saying and it ruined the vibe.
My ND mind makes it difficult to ever meet women on here but in day to day life it effects me a lot. Didn't help that it's only in recent years I found out I'm ND! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I know the masking can be exhausting... so it's nice when that's not necessary and you can let the weirdness flow."
THIS
It can be akin to finding people with similar (special) interests as you but often on a deeper level.
And being able to skip the whole small talk section of getting to know someone.... Oh yess 🫠🫠🥰🥰 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wonder do we have certain kinks we are more into than the N Typs are.
We obviously all have things we like or prefer but on a larger scale I wonder is there a common theme to things NDs like"
I think neurodivergent is way too broad a term to narrow down and kink preference from compared to nurotypical.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wonder do we have certain kinks we are more into than the N Typs are.
We obviously all have things we like or prefer but on a larger scale I wonder is there a common theme to things NDs like
I think neurodivergent is way too broad a term to narrow down and kink preference from compared to nurotypical.
"
Absolutely agree - there does appear to be a significant number of ND folk in non-traditional sexual relationships and communities and very much so in BDSM/kink circles. But as kakapo said, it's too broad - there isn't a clearly defined ND/NT dichotomy here.. more of a polytomy (is that a word? 😅) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wonder do we have certain kinks we are more into than the N Typs are.
We obviously all have things we like or prefer but on a larger scale I wonder is there a common theme to things NDs like
I think neurodivergent is way too broad a term to narrow down and kink preference from compared to nurotypical.
Absolutely agree - there does appear to be a significant number of ND folk in non-traditional sexual relationships and communities and very much so in BDSM/kink circles. But as kakapo said, it's too broad - there isn't a clearly defined ND/NT dichotomy here.. more of a polytomy (is that a word? 😅)"
I wonder is the higher presenting of ND people in certain lifestyles more to do with a perceived openess in those communities rather than a specific draw to kink |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wonder is the higher presenting of ND people in certain lifestyles more to do with a perceived openess in those communities rather than a specific draw to kink"
No, studies have been done. It's the same way that people with tattoos and piercings are more likely to be neurodiverse.
Which, incidentally is a totally bullshit term. The implication that neurotypical people don't have a similar spectrum of traits and characteristics, including many "neurodivergent" ones, is nonsense. Every "neurotypical" brain is not the same and does not present the same when examined. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I wonder is the higher presenting of ND people in certain lifestyles more to do with a perceived openess in those communities rather than a specific draw to kink
No, studies have been done. It's the same way that people with tattoos and piercings are more likely to be neurodiverse.
Which, incidentally is a totally bullshit term. The implication that neurotypical people don't have a similar spectrum of traits and characteristics, including many "neurodivergent" ones, is nonsense. Every "neurotypical" brain is not the same and does not present the same when examined."
Does paragraph 1 and 2 not contradict each other though? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've spent the morning reading
'A Systematic Review of the Relationship Between Neurodiversity and Psychosexual Functioning in Individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)'
I'm none the wiser. 😂
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've spent the morning reading
'A Systematic Review of the Relationship Between Neurodiversity and Psychosexual Functioning in Individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)'
I'm none the wiser. 😂
"
That title is just taking the piss out of someone with ADHD |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've spent the morning reading
'A Systematic Review of the Relationship Between Neurodiversity and Psychosexual Functioning in Individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)'
I'm none the wiser. 😂
That title is just taking the piss out of someone with ADHD"
😂😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I suspect reduced impulse control is a large part of why there ND people are overrepresented here. I could be wrong
Or a discomfort with routine/innate restlessness "
Or a lack of understanding of social norms/limitations
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
|
"I wonder is the higher presenting of ND people in certain lifestyles more to do with a perceived openess in those communities rather than a specific draw to kink
No, studies have been done. It's the same way that people with tattoos and piercings are more likely to be neurodiverse.
Which, incidentally is a totally bullshit term. The implication that neurotypical people don't have a similar spectrum of traits and characteristics, including many "neurodivergent" ones, is nonsense. Every "neurotypical" brain is not the same and does not present the same when examined."
That would explain my tattoo and piercings then |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am also incredibly attracted to tattoos and piercings as well as having tattoos and piercings.
Playing with a pierced clit, nipples, ears or tracing the beautiful lines of a tattoo across their skin.
Delving into the meaning of those tattoos or piercings, and exploring a person's mind.
It's such an incredible draw.
So sexy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
|
"I am also incredibly attracted to tattoos and piercings as well as having tattoos and piercings.
Playing with a pierced clit, nipples, ears or tracing the beautiful lines of a tattoo across their skin.
Delving into the meaning of those tattoos or piercings, and exploring a person's mind.
It's such an incredible draw.
So sexy."
I met a lady couple of years ago who had 27 piercings and lots of tattoos |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Gonna go out on a limb here as we're an AuDHD/autistic couple and we prefer to hang and play with others we can at least somewhat unmask with...
Giving fewer fucks these days and have extremely limited patience and energy for common neurotypical interactions, small talk, NT societal expectations, etc.
We've met a lot of nice ND people in the scene, both here and the kink community and would love to meet some more 😘🤓🙃 "
Nice to see more of us, I’m not one for small talk at all, can’t really do it at times, I’m very nerdy and have many interests, and can be influenced by the letters ADhD |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Gonna go out on a limb here as we're an AuDHD/autistic couple and we prefer to hang and play with others we can at least somewhat unmask with...
Giving fewer fucks these days and have extremely limited patience and energy for common neurotypical interactions, small talk, NT societal expectations, etc.
We've met a lot of nice ND people in the scene, both here and the kink community and would love to meet some more 😘🤓🙃 "
Honestly, this is absolutely the vibe, dead right 🔥 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
|
"
Giving fewer fucks these days and have extremely limited patience and energy for common neurotypical interactions, small talk, NT societal expectations, etc.
"
Love this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Gonna go out on a limb here as we're an AuDHD/autistic couple and we prefer to hang and play with others we can at least somewhat unmask with...
Giving fewer fucks these days and have extremely limited patience and energy for common neurotypical interactions, small talk, NT societal expectations, etc.
We've met a lot of nice ND people in the scene, both here and the kink community and would love to meet some more 😘🤓🙃
Nice to see more of us, I’m not one for small talk at all, can’t really do it at times, I’m very nerdy and have many interests, and can be influenced by the letters ADhD "
Just a little aside as it was mentioned earlier in the thread..
The "H" doesn't necessarily denote hyperactive behavior. It can indicate a hyperactive mind.. which is an important distinction for many of us 🍝🧠 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"*Waves*
Forgets he waved
*Waves again*"
Or in my case..
Absolutely intends to wave.
Plans to wave.
Two days later realises I never waved.
Sets reminder this time.
Reads reminder when notification pops up.
Two days later... repeat and repeat and repeat. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"*Waves*
Forgets he waved
*Waves again*
Or in my case..
Absolutely intends to wave.
Plans to wave.
Two days later realises I never waved.
Sets reminder this time.
Reads reminder when notification pops up.
Two days later... repeat and repeat and repeat."
Likes the idea of having....
But God the effort...
Then I have to follow up the wave with actual words..
What if I wave wrong....
Did they wave...
Or was it to the person behind me...
Christ I look like a weirdo....
I'm never leaving the house again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"*Waves*
Forgets he waved
*Waves again*
Or in my case..
Absolutely intends to wave.
Plans to wave.
Two days later realises I never waved.
Sets reminder this time.
Reads reminder when notification pops up.
Two days later... repeat and repeat and repeat."
We are kindred spirits 🤗
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic