FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Fab Men's shed
Fab Men's shed
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"Just adding to the Winter blues post. In general we all know that guys find it way harder to open up about depression and anxiety. The old " man up " or " don't be such a girl " , ringing in their ears... So guys, if your inbox is open, even if only for the next week, as I know a lot have guys blocked and I don't blame you. But if you're willing to lend an ear to fellow male fabbers, please post below." In. Happy to lend an ear to both men and women but my opinion is exactly that  | |||
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"In the shed and willing to help. " BTW any blank profiles or those with dic pics will be individually blocked. Nothing I can do for those poor guys. | |||
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"In the shed and willing to help. BTW any blank profiles or those with dic pics will be individually blocked. Nothing I can do for those poor guys." You could advise them as to what you think theyre doing wrong | |||
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"Just adding to the Winter blues post. In general we all know that guys find it way harder to open up about depression and anxiety. The old " man up " or " don't be such a girl " , ringing in their ears... So guys, if your inbox is open, even if only for the next week, as I know a lot have guys blocked and I don't blame you. But if you're willing to lend an ear to fellow male fabbers, please post below." You. Are a saint! Bravo | |||
"Best thing you can do is go build something and ask for help if you don't know the next step, you'll be amazed at how many lads will help and keep helping after it's done! "Asking for help/reaching out. If even just to talk. It doesn’t need to go further. Take a breath and swallow the pride. | |||
"Best thing you can do is go build something and ask for help if you don't know the next step, you'll be amazed at how many lads will help and keep helping after it's done!
Asking for help/reaching out. If even just to talk. It doesn’t need to go further. Take a breath and swallow the pride. "No pride swallowing just 2/3/4/5 lads talking about a project that has to be built and you'll see the good that does! | |||
I can be a bit inconsistent logging in and if you’re messaging from a pretty much blank profile and just saying hi, I probably won’t reply, it’s nice to help anyone who needs it but if you’ve just created an account to look for help here then you’re probably in need of much better help than you will find here.
Well done Lollypop……👏 | |||
"Best thing you can do is go build something and ask for help if you don't know the next step, you'll be amazed at how many lads will help and keep helping after it's done!
Asking for help/reaching out. If even just to talk. It doesn’t need to go further. Take a breath and swallow the pride.
No pride swallowing just 2/3/4/5 lads talking about a project that has to be built and you'll see the good that does! "That too man, I’ve gutters to clean if anyone wants to help | |||
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"Best thing you can do is go build something and ask for help if you don't know the next step, you'll be amazed at how many lads will help and keep helping after it's done!
Asking for help/reaching out. If even just to talk. It doesn’t need to go further. Take a breath and swallow the pride.
No pride swallowing just 2/3/4/5 lads talking about a project that has to be built and you'll see the good that does!
That too man, I’ve gutters to clean if anyone wants to help "Bungalow or two storey? The Karcher kit for gutters is fantastic don't have have to up on the ladder the whole time up, up twice, once to put it in the gutter once to take it down! | |||
"Well done Lolly and a great idea. Speaking from e_perience it can be very hard to look for help and something that could have been sorted with a simple heart to heart can turn in to a downward spiral only too fast. My inbox is open to anyone (male or female) who needs a chat, to blow of steam or to find a professional to help them. Text About It - free text HELP TO 50808 Aware - phone 1800804848 Pieta - phone 1800 247 247 Samaritans - phone 116 There's loads of other services available so just ask or Google. " This!!! | |||
"In the shed and willing to help. BTW any blank profiles or those with dic pics will be individually blocked. Nothing I can do for those poor guys. You could advise them as to what you think theyre doing wrong " ......... If they can't see for themselves that blank or dic pic profiles aren't helping their case I don't think my pointing it out is going to make much difference. | |||
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"Ok, they didn't approve it.. but they were 2 foot long paperclips made from half inch solid steel bar. Anyone else making anything cool?" Jesus bending nearly 8ft steel into that shape must not have been easy, I'm currently building a surround for my brothers ice plunge, be wants a square but the plunge itself is round, I want it round, it will look way better just struggling with the angle of the rim to make it perfect! | |||
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"While I don’t have the spoons to lend an ear, I truly think this is quite a warm hearted gestured post. I love these kind of posts. The winter months can be cruel, especially when loss has occurred during them. I lost my dad on Christmas morning and it’ll be 2 years this Christmas which sucked the fun out of the whole thing. Alas, it’s gotten better with time. I also recommend to people to start topping up their vitamin D supplements, it does help with SAD. Us in the green isle don’t get much sunlight as it stands 😅." Christmas can be bitter sweet, those that have gone before us, would want us to be happy and to enjoy our lives. They were bereaved too, it's all part of the cycle of life. They wouldn't want us to mourn forever, theywould want us to laugh and sing x. | |||
"While I don’t have the spoons to lend an ear, I truly think this is quite a warm hearted gestured post. I love these kind of posts. The winter months can be cruel, especially when loss has occurred during them. I lost my dad on Christmas morning and it’ll be 2 years this Christmas which sucked the fun out of the whole thing. Alas, it’s gotten better with time. I also recommend to people to start topping up their vitamin D supplements, it does help with SAD. Us in the green isle don’t get much sunlight as it stands 😅. Christmas can be bitter sweet, those that have gone before us, would want us to be happy and to enjoy our lives. They were bereaved too, it's all part of the cycle of life. They wouldn't want us to mourn forever, theywould want us to laugh and sing x. " Thankyou kindly Echo, you are right in saying that.. I loved that time of year due to my work, always enjoyed reuniting families etc. for the day. Be safe x | |||
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"Guys brilliant effort. Another suggestion. Maybe post here about your hobbies and see if you find like minded. Start bonding over bikes, hiking or DIY etc...sometimes it can start of a convo easier than straight in at the deep end about depression and anxiety." | |||
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"Guys brilliant effort. Another suggestion. Maybe post here about your hobbies and see if you find like minded. Start bonding over bikes, hiking or DIY etc...sometimes it can start of a convo easier than straight in at the deep end about depression and anxiety." Happy to chat about hiking. Our walking group on here is one way to meet like minded people in a safe, discreet and chat friendly situation. Always open to new, meet verified, members. | |||
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"Is there any a walking group here but ,in the Dublin area? " Check out previous S/E Walking Group threads. B They are based in Midlands/South East but have members from Dublin/Wicklow area. | |||
"Is there any a walking group here but ,in the Dublin area? Check out previous S/E Walking Group threads. B They are based in Midlands/South East but have members from Dublin/Wicklow area." Thsnk you. I'll check | |||
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"Guys brilliant effort. Another suggestion. Maybe post here about your hobbies and see if you find like minded. Start bonding over bikes, hiking or DIY etc...sometimes it can start of a convo easier than straight in at the deep end about depression and anxiety." Board games, gaming on the Xbox, air soft and go karts 🙂 | |||
"Its not good for a lot of people men especially as we keep everything bottled up till its too late ive lost a lot of good friends thru suicide and it really left me very low this year back in april i worked along side him for 12 years never seen it coming and ie a lot on this year as my daughter is very sick so its hard to juggle everything i have reached out to a friend that has used so sad and there ready for me when im ready to speak to them which will be very soon .im not looking for sympathy as its life and can put us all in diffrent situations that we dont want to be in at moment me clearing my head is a long walk on a beach or walk up a hill where theres great views or scencic drives which ever i get to do .thank god ive no suicadal thoughts and never will ive seen first hand the devastation its leaves behind .its a matter of staying on that good road and keeping on it a lot dont see that but like a lad said to me before today might be a bad stressful day but tomorow is always better im always here to listen even if its a rant about something this is open to everyone i dont judge people never have no matter what it is theres a way out the other side of the problem all the best gals and guys "I feel for you man, take it a step at a time and as Tom Hanks famously said in Cast Away: Tomorrow is another day, you don’t know what the tide will bring. Be safe | |||
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"Just adding to the Winter blues post. In general we all know that guys find it way harder to open up about depression and anxiety. The old " man up " or " don't be such a girl " , ringing in their ears... So guys, if your inbox is open, even if only for the next week, as I know a lot have guys blocked and I don't blame you. But if you're willing to lend an ear to fellow male fabbers, please post below." This is a great idea and tbh to many on here just ignore message (I'm going to say from single men but I'm sure it applies to others to). That in itself adds to the anxiety. There's only so many time anyone can get ignored before the thoughts turn to low self worth. Rant over | |||
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"Just adding to the Winter blues post. In general we all know that guys find it way harder to open up about depression and anxiety. The old " man up " or " don't be such a girl " , ringing in their ears... So guys, if your inbox is open, even if only for the next week, as I know a lot have guys blocked and I don't blame you. But if you're willing to lend an ear to fellow male fabbers, please post below." I be honest, I rather keep my shit to my self! It’s better that way. Nice thought! I learnt the hard way… | |||
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"I feel like I might shoot myself in the foot here for any chance of meeting. Some people talk to god and some to the universe, we I guess for me it's the forums. The world is a lonely cold place, I have struggled in the past from depression, those time I have found the strength to seek help or work through it. But now the well is dry. I have had such days of despair lately. It's mad that at home or work with people all around you, the feeling of loneliness you can e_perience. The complete conviction that you are only an extra, that if you were not there you wouldn't be noticed as being gone. I wrote a letter last week and some rope. I haven't decided to use them yet, but I feel a day will come soon that it will feel right. I don't know if I'm looking for help, or just to see if I make a ripple. Maybe the very act of doing this will spark something in me to get better again. Thanks for listening." I have no idea what the right thing to say is here. Other than seek someone to talk to about this with training. Either a counsellor or a volunteer with a helpline. | |||
"I feel like I might shoot myself in the foot here for any chance of meeting. Some people talk to god and some to the universe, we I guess for me it's the forums. The world is a lonely cold place, I have struggled in the past from depression, those time I have found the strength to seek help or work through it. But now the well is dry. I have had such days of despair lately. It's mad that at home or work with people all around you, the feeling of loneliness you can e_perience. The complete conviction that you are only an extra, that if you were not there you wouldn't be noticed as being gone. I wrote a letter last week and some rope. I haven't decided to use them yet, but I feel a day will come soon that it will feel right. I don't know if I'm looking for help, or just to see if I make a ripple. Maybe the very act of doing this will spark something in me to get better again. Thanks for listening." Having known a few people in your situation all I can say is that what turned it round for them on a long term basis was their GP. If you have a good one go talk to them. If you don't try find one which I know is not easy. Otherwise try one of the organisations which help, Pieta is excellent. All the best, it's never as bad as you think and there's always a better future possible. | |||
"I feel like I might shoot myself in the foot here for any chance of meeting. Some people talk to god and some to the universe, we I guess for me it's the forums. The world is a lonely cold place, I have struggled in the past from depression, those time I have found the strength to seek help or work through it. But now the well is dry. I have had such days of despair lately. It's mad that at home or work with people all around you, the feeling of loneliness you can e_perience. The complete conviction that you are only an extra, that if you were not there you wouldn't be noticed as being gone. I wrote a letter last week and some rope. I haven't decided to use them yet, but I feel a day will come soon that it will feel right. I don't know if I'm looking for help, or just to see if I make a ripple. Maybe the very act of doing this will spark something in me to get better again. Thanks for listening." Don't go. Stay. Your life matters. Call Pieta house. They will help. 0818111126 | |||
"I feel like I might shoot myself in the foot here for any chance of meeting. Some people talk to god and some to the universe, we I guess for me it's the forums. The world is a lonely cold place, I have struggled in the past from depression, those time I have found the strength to seek help or work through it. But now the well is dry. I have had such days of despair lately. It's mad that at home or work with people all around you, the feeling of loneliness you can e_perience. The complete conviction that you are only an extra, that if you were not there you wouldn't be noticed as being gone. I wrote a letter last week and some rope. I haven't decided to use them yet, but I feel a day will come soon that it will feel right. I don't know if I'm looking for help, or just to see if I make a ripple. Maybe the very act of doing this will spark something in me to get better again. Thanks for listening." Been on and off that road for the past two decades. I can safely say you need to read the book “The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse”. Little things give us meaning, that gave me meaning. If you like pets, get some. I have two cats. If you have hobbies, explore them, for me it’s board games. If you feel alone, these little things will help. I’m not saying it’ll cure it.. but it definitely helps. I have lately found myself feeling alone, isolated and down but my two fur babies have come to me and cuddled into me, given me lots of love. Animals are so affectionate and empathetic. Whenever I’ve felt low, they have been there. They are better than humans in my eyes. The next bit I’d recommend is professional help. This all starts at your GP. They (if they are worth their salt) will guide you towards help, depending on how low your mental health is. Sometimes all I needed was someone to talk to, other times I needed group support/therapy, individual therapy and one time I self admitted to a safe place for a weekend because I did not feel safe to be alone. Each and every one of us have at one point in life felt what you are feeling but ultimately it is up to you to decide what you do with your life. After seeing the damage I did to my family and friends when I did act on my thoughts, I gave reasons to myself to live and continue to live, I, with the help of professionals, set up safety nets and action plans. I’m not going to paint a rosey picture as life isn’t easy but it does pass. As Tom Hanks once said “this too shall pass”. I know what it’s like to feel alone, like there is no way but down and the pain of existing.. is immense.. but it gets better.. I hope this helps you and like on my profile “you are enough”. We all think we are insignificant but we don’t see how our lives impact those around us.. we simply can’t. We all have an impact of those around us, be it known or unknown. | |||
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"As someone (male) who suffered serious mental health and found my inner peace im always willing to listen to others. It took me alomg time to comprehemd my issue and to over come them. I find that before you and start to recover from any mental health issue you need to first understand it. In the north we're 30 years into a post conflict enviroment with some of thr highest suicide and substance abuse figures in europe yet theres no still dedicated drug rehabilitation in the contry or a specific mental health team to deal woth conflict trauma. The general mental health team wait list is shocking and wait times for consultations are ridiculous. Id be hapoy to join a fab mental health support group to help anyome i can." The south isn’t much better with wait times and usually you have to be critical to be seen quickly which usually is a visit to the A&E but we do have decent day programs I must say and once you are in, it’s pretty good, just don’t miss an appointment otherwise you’ll be back to square one 😅 | |||
"Thank you all" Anytime bud 😊 | |||
"I agree talk to anyone who is willing to listen, personally I have mental issues so i decided to go and talk to a therapist once a week and I feel much better " Yeah sometimes it really helps just to talk the feelings out to a professional 🙂 glad it helps you mate | |||
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"People “trying to help” while being judgmental. Sums this place up and the people thats on it. " That is sadly human nature, all we can do is change the world at an individual level and do our best. | |||
"People “trying to help” while being judgmental. Sums this place up and the people thats on it. " Which post are you referring to? Everything I read above seems pretty supportive? | |||
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"I wont call anyone out or attack a post. But people on here aren’t in a position to be listening to peoples problems if they have a problem with cheating or a dick pic profile picture. That’s being judgmental. " Sorry for a moment there I thought you were talking some sort of sense. Nevermind | |||
"Just adding to the Winter blues post. In general we all know that guys find it way harder to open up about depression and anxiety. The old " man up " or " don't be such a girl " , ringing in their ears... So guys, if your inbox is open, even if only for the next week, as I know a lot have guys blocked and I don't blame you. But if you're willing to lend an ear to fellow male fabbers, please post below." My shed door is always open | |||
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"How it going lads? Anyone working on anything nice as the evenings get shorter?" I'm do a hatchet job of designing a bracket for my table in 3d app to add shelves about my computer table. Don't want to attach the shelves to the walls. | |||
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"Keep talking and posting and stay as positive as you can. Sometimes even just talking on here can help. You may be helping someone else going through something similar by knowing someone else is going through the same as them." Thankyou kindly 😊 Went out last night with a friend to the pub, had a few and played some pool. Was fun 🙂 | |||
"Keep talking and posting and stay as positive as you can. Sometimes even just talking on here can help. You may be helping someone else going through something similar by knowing someone else is going through the same as them." | |||
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"Difficult couple of months here, Well, difficult 2 years really, divorce, recent sudden death of a family member, odd shifts at work flicking between days and nights during the week for the past 2 years, no eating routine, no sleeping routine, busy work always on the go and the road, mostly working at night alone, nobody to talk to or call, time to over think everything, and no real 'me time' in 2 year I think I had 4 days to myself with no commitments, all this had taken its toll, and boom I imploded, I wasn't one for really opening up about stuff, I'd bottle things up, About 6/7 weeks ago on a Monday at work, 2 phoned calls with the worst news within hour's, within a matter of hours I felt like I'd been hit by a freight train, drove home, don't actually remember driving home 😳, , it was Thursday before I was able to get out of bed, 2 weeks off work. Didn't/ couldn't eat , Weight loss was mad . Past 2 weeks finally back on track and now on day shifts and in a routine. Looking after myself small and regular meals and keeping muself hydrated more, I've a fab friend to thank for listening and pulling me through the worst part of it, and I'm talking more to my brother, things can go down hill quickly and unexpectedly so you meed to look after yourself men . I've probably been way to open on this post , but wish each of you well if you are having a difficult patch , Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it might be small and hard to see, but there is a light ! Thanks . " I’ve lived this a few times myself.. I worked for one of my parents for a few years. We weren’t always on speaking terms at times, a bit too similar and me having a quick and sharp tongue at times would lead to arguments that would span days but we were close. They would sense when I wasn’t okay and would reach out to me.. even when I was in my lowest pit of despair.. I could turn to them.. They announced one day that they can’t do it anymore and was closing shop, me being the eldest, I stood up and dropped everything and I mean everything. I trained up to assist in the workload and within three months, I did what no other person has done. I usually do my finest work when the shit hits the fan and lock myself into the thick of things. Pulled many a rabbits out of many a hats.. Then one day they had a seizure.. turned out to be cancer. My whole world felt like it was ending but I persevered because I was the eldest, because I had to, because it was what needed to be done. I locked my emotions into a box and I kept going, I picked up the workload, took no days off work bar very few times. I stopped going to events, stopped my social life. Stopped living.. I ended up breaking down and admitted myself to hospital because I could no longer continue.. I did not want to end my life but it was all in my thoughts.. it was every living second of every day for 2 weeks.. After that I began to try to look after myself, I got back to the gym, I worked through things and then things improved for me, for my parent and the family and for a short time, life got back to normal. Then not even a few months after the all clear, we find it came back and was super aggressive.. we did everything we could, everything but nothing mattered.. It was coming up to Xmas, the busiest time of the year and I got to go in and visit once, just once. Covid was still in the height of it and hospital staff were not letting us visit more than an hour a day and only 2 people at most and they didn’t care that they were dying.. I got to see him once.. he were delirious and the last thing I was told was “look after mom, look after them and go back to work”. I never saw my dad alive again after that.. we were meant to go up and see him Xmas morning.. Fast forward to Xmas morning, I get a call at 4 in the morning that he suffered a serious cardiac event and was resuscitated but we need to come in. It was a 40’ drive, he passed away before I got to see him.. I never got to say good bye. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t break. I got told where was I? Why wasn’t I there, why wasn’t I there fast enough.. I couldn’t cry. Everyone cried. I held my breath.. gritted my teeth.. I kissed and hugged him when everyone else was done but he was cold.. it was like he was asleep but he wasn’t going to wake up. I left to get stuff for mom and I broke down on the drive home.. my insides exploded.. I could not contain it any longer. I wanted to die, I wanted it to end.. it was like a years worth of pain had come flooding out and there was nothing more I could do.. I was powerless.. I went to work as I had no choice and did my bookings. Inside numb.. dead.. I went back up to the hospital and don’t remember much after this.. The next day I went to work and broke down. I could no longer function... I couldn’t.. But then new years came and I had to work, I had no choice. I had no time to really mourn. I had so much paperwork to do. I was essentially taking over the business with no support from anyone as they were too busy panicking and grieving.. so many arguments with family.. I always had a safety net and it was gone.. Months flew by and I slowly released myself from my prison.. I went to councilling a year later, rejoined the gym and every so often I’d falter but I had no choice but to regroup and continue as I had no more safety net.. I made so many mistakes but also I had to do so much by myself that I now, near 2 years later, take pride in what I overcame.. I don’t think I fully got a chance to grieve and maybe one day I will but I’m happy where I got.. I got to see who are my real friends, I had amazing support from someone who was like a brother to me, he propped me up when I had nobody else and slowly but surely I got to where I needed to be.. So yes, there is always light at the end of the tunnel and no, it doesn’t mean the pain goes away but it gets less intense.. yes we have trips and falls but as long as we get back up again, shake it off, seek help when needed.. even if we think it’s not needed.. things get better. | |||
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