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When a friendship dies .....
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Its has to be one of the saddest things when you sit and realise that a friendship has ran its course
One of the guys who works for me, we have had a fantastic friendship over the past 8/9 years. It started from him coming to work with me and it progressed from there an we hung out constantly, chatted daily and were there for each other through everything
Working together was great because its with your friend so made it so much easier!
2 years ago he met this girl on a hen party and that progressed to him dating here ( ill be honest i have no clue what she is cause he has a gf aswell as her) but this was the start of it. I asked him what was going on and he blanked me
Ever since then he has stopped speaking to me ( aside from anything work related), we never hang out anymore and he has pretty much all removed himself from everything. I was working with him earlier in the year and she was with him and we had a great chat! Shes lovely and always was but for some reason he has pulled away from everyone and nobody knows why, not even she knows!
Now hes not even making the effort with work stuff and today i just knew that was it, we arent anything anymore and its actually really sad to see that a friendship after all those years just dies
Just a part of growing older i guess! |
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"Its has to be one of the saddest things when you sit and realise that a friendship has ran its course
One of the guys who works for me, we have had a fantastic friendship over the past 8/9 years. It started from him coming to work with me and it progressed from there an we hung out constantly, chatted daily and were there for each other through everything
Working together was great because its with your friend so made it so much easier!
2 years ago he met this girl on a hen party and that progressed to him dating here ( ill be honest i have no clue what she is cause he has a gf aswell as her) but this was the start of it. I asked him what was going on and he blanked me
Ever since then he has stopped speaking to me ( aside from anything work related), we never hang out anymore and he has pretty much all removed himself from everything. I was working with him earlier in the year and she was with him and we had a great chat! Shes lovely and always was but for some reason he has pulled away from everyone and nobody knows why, not even she knows!
Now hes not even making the effort with work stuff and today i just knew that was it, we arent anything anymore and its actually really sad to see that a friendship after all those years just dies
Just a part of growing older i guess!"
He sounds like a man who doesn't know himself. Very common. Some people are just fair weather friends. If you are lucky in life, you may have 1 or 2 proper friends if you are lucky. This guy was never your friend... |
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"Its has to be one of the saddest things when you sit and realise that a friendship has ran its course
One of the guys who works for me, we have had a fantastic friendship over the past 8/9 years. It started from him coming to work with me and it progressed from there an we hung out constantly, chatted daily and were there for each other through everything
Working together was great because its with your friend so made it so much easier!
2 years ago he met this girl on a hen party and that progressed to him dating here ( ill be honest i have no clue what she is cause he has a gf aswell as her) but this was the start of it. I asked him what was going on and he blanked me
Ever since then he has stopped speaking to me ( aside from anything work related), we never hang out anymore and he has pretty much all removed himself from everything. I was working with him earlier in the year and she was with him and we had a great chat! Shes lovely and always was but for some reason he has pulled away from everyone and nobody knows why, not even she knows!
Now hes not even making the effort with work stuff and today i just knew that was it, we arent anything anymore and its actually really sad to see that a friendship after all those years just dies
Just a part of growing older i guess!
He sounds like a man who doesn't know himself. Very common. Some people are just fair weather friends. If you are lucky in life, you may have 1 or 2 proper friends if you are lucky. This guy was never your friend..."
I try not to think that but i have! I have some great friends in my life just always sad when one ends
Suppose when you dont know why makes it worse! |
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It is really is sad OP. Maybe he felt you crossed a boundary when asking about what he was up to in his relationship. Maybe he didn't want you seeing him in a negative light. You'll never know the real reason unless he offers an explanation. Do you think reaching out could salvage anything?
I had a lifetime friendship that ended a few years ago that broke me. I had to grieve the loss of it because it felt like a death. I'm at a place where I can forgive her now but only privately within myself.
True friendship is beautiful, I value those in my life that are. |
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If someone breaks off a friendship like flicking off a switch, it tells a lot more about them than you. A friendship of mine fell apart a year ago simply because of all the lies that were coming out I couldn’t deal with anymore. Try not to let it beat you down. |
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"It is really is sad OP. Maybe he felt you crossed a boundary when asking about what he was up to in his relationship. Maybe he didn't want you seeing him in a negative light. You'll never know the real reason unless he offers an explanation. Do you think reaching out could salvage anything?
I had a lifetime friendship that ended a few years ago that broke me. I had to grieve the loss of it because it felt like a death. I'm at a place where I can forgive her now but only privately within myself.
True friendship is beautiful, I value those in my life that are. "
Oh god trust me i hadnt! This is a lad who had 3somes with one of the other guys who worked an he would ring me after it telling me everything! I mean when he told me everything he told me EVERYTHING!!
I dont think it can if im honest, more my side i just cant put myself through that! Even when i text him now i get a thumbs up or a one word reply! |
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By *rnicaMan 10 weeks ago
The Great Outdoors |
That's a really lovely post OP, and I really like the way you chose to describe it as 'a friendship that's run its course', rather than a friendship lost. That's a healthy attitude.
It's one of the saddest experiences the world in my opinion. The death of a loved is extremely painful for sure, but there is a finality to that one can come to terms with in time. What you've described is very similar in terms of the grieving process, except for the additional pain of rejection.
A true bond is formed when one human being sits next to another and says "what, you too? I thought I was the only one" (Think that was C.S. Lewis). How often that happens in a person's lifetime is a mystery to me but it's rare.
Once I make a connection like that with someone, it never goes away for me even if that person does. I think it's more of a heart than a head thing. Memories are unreliable and nebulous at best - always stuck in the past, but the emotional bond is the bit that lives and breathes. It's always there, sometimes weak, sometimes strong but it never really disappears.
Whenever I think of someone special I no longer see, Im just remember that bond and send them good vibes. |
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"I think the new girlfriend, replaced you. I think she is now the sounding board for his gossip.
Often happens, find a new partner, dump the friends. "
I had thought that myself but I spoke with her lots and she was saying he needs to talk to me more but he won’t!
Now saying that I worked with him a few weeks back and she ignored me so who knows!! She’s still only the side one he sees at weekends  |
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"Its has to be one of the saddest things when you sit and realise that a friendship has ran its course
One of the guys who works for me, we have had a fantastic friendship over the past 8/9 years. It started from him coming to work with me and it progressed from there an we hung out constantly, chatted daily and were there for each other through everything
Working together was great because its with your friend so made it so much easier!
2 years ago he met this girl on a hen party and that progressed to him dating here ( ill be honest i have no clue what she is cause he has a gf aswell as her) but this was the start of it. I asked him what was going on and he blanked me
Ever since then he has stopped speaking to me ( aside from anything work related), we never hang out anymore and he has pretty much all removed himself from everything. I was working with him earlier in the year and she was with him and we had a great chat! Shes lovely and always was but for some reason he has pulled away from everyone and nobody knows why, not even she knows!
Now hes not even making the effort with work stuff and today i just knew that was it, we arent anything anymore and its actually really sad to see that a friendship after all those years just dies
Just a part of growing older i guess!"
Sounds like it could be Mental Health relate. May be that his ability to mirror and mask has reached a limit and he's starting to break under some sort of mental strain. Keep reaching out and make sure he knows he's not alone. |
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Happened me recently, with a work colleague too. Feels like a death. Has made me reflect though and realise that I had this person on some sort of pedestal. The toughest part of it all is accepting that my friendship to her clearly wasn't near as important as hers was to me. I wouldn't trust very easily, but I'd have trusted this person with my life. Onwards and upwards, nothing else for it. |
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By *panishRebelMan 10 weeks ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
"Its has to be one of the saddest things when you sit and realise that a friendship has ran its course
One of the guys who works for me, we have had a fantastic friendship over the past 8/9 years. It started from him coming to work with me and it progressed from there an we hung out constantly, chatted daily and were there for each other through everything
Working together was great because its with your friend so made it so much easier!
2 years ago he met this girl on a hen party and that progressed to him dating here ( ill be honest i have no clue what she is cause he has a gf aswell as her) but this was the start of it. I asked him what was going on and he blanked me
Ever since then he has stopped speaking to me ( aside from anything work related), we never hang out anymore and he has pretty much all removed himself from everything. I was working with him earlier in the year and she was with him and we had a great chat! Shes lovely and always was but for some reason he has pulled away from everyone and nobody knows why, not even she knows!
Now hes not even making the effort with work stuff and today i just knew that was it, we arent anything anymore and its actually really sad to see that a friendship after all those years just dies
Just a part of growing older i guess!"
Day will break, stars will fall
There's always something you'll forget to say
Don't dismay
True friends never part
Time will pass, paths will stray
There's always someone who will break your heart
There's no point, being cruel
True friends never part
We'll meet again
Trust me my friend
There's no harm in goodbye
Give me your glass
Follow your heart
Wipe that tear from your eye
Time makes amends
Don't be afraid
You'll not let love pass you by
Remember this
True friends never part
Day will break, stars will fall
There's always something you'll forget to say
Don't dismay
True friends never part
We'll meet again
Trust me my friend
There's no harm in goodbye
Give me your glass
Follow your heart
Wipe that tear from your eye
Time makes amends
Don't be afraid
You'll not let love pass you by
Remember this
True friends never part
And we are True Friends
In the best words of Jerry Fish |
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"Its has to be one of the saddest things when you sit and realise that a friendship has ran its course
One of the guys who works for me, we have had a fantastic friendship over the past 8/9 years. It started from him coming to work with me and it progressed from there an we hung out constantly, chatted daily and were there for each other through everything
Working together was great because its with your friend so made it so much easier!
2 years ago he met this girl on a hen party and that progressed to him dating here ( ill be honest i have no clue what she is cause he has a gf aswell as her) but this was the start of it. I asked him what was going on and he blanked me
Ever since then he has stopped speaking to me ( aside from anything work related), we never hang out anymore and he has pretty much all removed himself from everything. I was working with him earlier in the year and she was with him and we had a great chat! Shes lovely and always was but for some reason he has pulled away from everyone and nobody knows why, not even she knows!
Now hes not even making the effort with work stuff and today i just knew that was it, we arent anything anymore and its actually really sad to see that a friendship after all those years just dies
Just a part of growing older i guess!"
I done the same a long time ago, I back away from my friends and everything thing they done when I met my ex wife, I wouldn't go anywhere r do anything with them,I ended up with nno friend's r so I thought and I guess I became the husband that would just do what they're told 🤷♂️ Fast Forward 32 years and a Divorce, I found myself in a flat Until a knock on my door and it was 1 of my old mate's who just said grab your coat and cum on,met his GF in the pub,and All my mates were back!! Best thing ever except for putting my children(Young Women) thru anything!! So don't dispare get on with Your life and who knows what's around the corner 🤗🤗 |
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Wow what a heartfelt post. I went through something similar with a work friend/ work wife.
We were the best partners in work, everyone knew we worked the best together, and when work nights out happened I would pick her up or she me, for pre drinks etc. I got teased a bit by the other lads about her being my GF and stuff but the line was never crossed. We were inseparable. Then at the end of 2017 I had a pretty miserable break up with my actual partner which blindsided me and knocked me for six. Work wife was the first I confided in and she was very supportive and helped me through the initial stages, when I steered heavily into drinking she was the ONLY one who called me out and told me I was circling the drain. I got into a little bit of bother around my birthday which she knew about, but for some reason she never spoke of it.
Anyway around that time I made a conscious decision to sort myself, and one of the things I undertook was to "stop watering dead plants," I wasn't chasing friendships anymore they had to be 2 way.
As the OP stated I started getting 1 word or emoji replies to my messages no meaningful conversation. This kept on till I just stopped.
When I talk about this to my mates I always say losing her friendship actually hurt more than losing the GF. We met up for lunch a couple of times this year and buried whatever hatchet there was, but honestly it was like lunch with a stranger, in the 5 years since we had last spoken properly she's married has a kid and another on the way. I made a couple of jokes about her sex life, which was the norm back in the day and she laughed put of politeness more than anything else.
It'll never go back now, we are friends again but, more Facebook happy birthday once a year friends than anything else.
It makes me sad but I can't change it.  |
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By *rRiosMan 10 weeks ago
dublin |
"Fast Forward 32 years and a Divorce, I found myself in a flat Until a knock on my door and it was 1 of my old mate's who just said grab your coat and cum on,met his GF in the pub,"
Where did you finish? 🙃 |
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"That's a really lovely post OP, and I really like the way you chose to describe it as 'a friendship that's run its course', rather than a friendship lost. That's a healthy attitude.
It's one of the saddest experiences the world in my opinion. The death of a loved is extremely painful for sure, but there is a finality to that one can come to terms with in time. What you've described is very similar in terms of the grieving process, except for the additional pain of rejection.
A true bond is formed when one human being sits next to another and says "what, you too? I thought I was the only one" (Think that was C.S. Lewis). How often that happens in a person's lifetime is a mystery to me but it's rare.
Once I make a connection like that with someone, it never goes away for me even if that person does. I think it's more of a heart than a head thing. Memories are unreliable and nebulous at best - always stuck in the past, but the emotional bond is the bit that lives and breathes. It's always there, sometimes weak, sometimes strong but it never really disappears.
Whenever I think of someone special I no longer see, Im just remember that bond and send them good vibes."
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By *lutterFlyWoman 10 weeks ago
Not Belfast but NI |
"That's a really lovely post OP, and I really like the way you chose to describe it as 'a friendship that's run its course', rather than a friendship lost. That's a healthy attitude.
It's one of the saddest experiences the world in my opinion. The death of a loved is extremely painful for sure, but there is a finality to that one can come to terms with in time. What you've described is very similar in terms of the grieving process, except for the additional pain of rejection.
A true bond is formed when one human being sits next to another and says "what, you too? I thought I was the only one" (Think that was C.S. Lewis). How often that happens in a person's lifetime is a mystery to me but it's rare.
Once I make a connection like that with someone, it never goes away for me even if that person does. I think it's more of a heart than a head thing. Memories are unreliable and nebulous at best - always stuck in the past, but the emotional bond is the bit that lives and breathes. It's always there, sometimes weak, sometimes strong but it never really disappears.
Whenever I think of someone special I no longer see, Im just remember that bond and send them good vibes.
"
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