"On other sites, I've seen this more & more recently, on profiles.
I would have thought everyone was, or has fab warped me.
Or is this a term I'm missing?"
No, many many people think sex is a shameful thing. A lot of people carry guilt over sex. It's not that long ago we were told sex was a dirty thing to be endured not enjoyed. It was surprisingly recent that a husband forcing sex on his wife wasnt considered a crime for example. |
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I would say a significant number of my non fab friends are not sex positive. They would never talk about their sex lives, about using toys and I’m convinced they would stage some sort of intervention if they knew about my shenanigans.
There is a major hangover of Catholic guilt in Irish people. |
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"I would say a significant number of my non fab friends are not sex positive. They would never talk about their sex lives, about using toys and I’m convinced they would stage some sort of intervention if they knew about my shenanigans.
There is a major hangover of Catholic guilt in Irish people. "
Same sex shaming is still very much engaged in. As is limit shaming. Clothing shaming. Women shaming and blaming for being on the receiving end of abuse.
We are a long, long, way from being truly liberal. |
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"I would say a significant number of my non fab friends are not sex positive. They would never talk about their sex lives, about using toys and I’m convinced they would stage some sort of intervention if they knew about my shenanigans.
There is a major hangover of Catholic guilt in Irish people. "
This! I know a lot like this and i know some lads if i speak a bit to sexual it freaks them out |
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Apparently the Catholic Church opposed tampons being imported when they became an option and were recommending women 'show restraint' ... like we might enjoy it too much.🙄
This is the kind of messaging Irish people were subjected to for generations, and it's part of our legacy, we weren't supposed to enjoy our own bodies, let alone anyone else's.
➕ SEX POSITIVE ➕ |
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Just throwing this in the mix.
Do we need to verbilse our encounters , pre and post to be considered sex positive.
I know the majority for me are fluid in nature / engagement/ eye contact/ a nod /understanding without having a spreadsheet completed , and signed off upon completion.
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I wouldn't blame it entirely on catholic guilt.
I've never once had a conversation about my sex life or theirs with anyone away from fab and I've worked with many many non Catholics,non Christians and non Irish.
Even on fab I've found that people who want to talk about their sex lives are often not capable of talking about anything else so while they may class themselves as sex positive, that's about as far as their positivity extends. |
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I'm an absolutely open book who will tell anyone anything about me and never lies. I find this incredibly beneficial when it comes to being sex positive because it means I will discuss any aspect of sex either personal or broad topics with absolutely anybody you want to have a discussion |
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I prefer when everyone in the world is t talking about sex all the time. Makes it more exciting and special when it does happen or meeting people on fab. That's why it's a good experience then. More is good. But don't want the whole world totally about pocket pussys and dildos over dinner everyday. Like a lot of female comedians can do this for some reason. |
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Using the term is a way of reclaiming the territory of sex from parts of society and the media who may like to weaponise and use sex against people and turn it into this shameful, disgusting thing. |
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"I wouldn't blame it entirely on catholic guilt.
I've never once had a conversation about my sex life or theirs with anyone away from fab and I've worked with many many non Catholics,non Christians and non Irish.
Even on fab I've found that people who want to talk about their sex lives are often not capable of talking about anything else so while they may class themselves as sex positive, that's about as far as their positivity extends. "
Of course there's a time and place and work wouldn't be one of them RB 😂 Myself and some of my female friends would be open to conversations about sex - even just as far as saying we like it, we want it as part of our lives. And Id chat to my adult children about sex and sexuality. It's not all we talk about obviously but it's about being able and feeling like it's ok to do so. |
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"I would say a significant number of my non fab friends are not sex positive. They would never talk about their sex lives, about using toys and I’m convinced they would stage some sort of intervention if they knew about my shenanigans.
There is a major hangover of Catholic guilt in Irish people. "
It's true. Different for the younger folk now tho, thankfully ! |
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"I wouldn't blame it entirely on catholic guilt.
I've never once had a conversation about my sex life or theirs with anyone away from fab and I've worked with many many non Catholics,non Christians and non Irish.
Even on fab I've found that people who want to talk about their sex lives are often not capable of talking about anything else so while they may class themselves as sex positive, that's about as far as their positivity extends.
Of course there's a time and place and work wouldn't be one of them RB 😂 Myself and some of my female friends would be open to conversations about sex - even just as far as saying we like it, we want it as part of our lives. And Id chat to my adult children about sex and sexuality. It's not all we talk about obviously but it's about being able and feeling like it's ok to do so. "
I get that and in those situations it's definitely positive.
I was thinking more along the lines of how some on fab refer to themselves as professional and it grinds a lot of people's gears.
Then there are those who are swinger positive and don't give a fuck who knows but at the same time don't understand why so many others aren't shouting it from the rooftops and that seems to annoy them.
Being sex positive in general is brilliant. Being sex positive on fab should be a given and doesn't need to be announced.
Maybe it's just me but it's a bit like having to tell others that you are nice or genuine. |
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"
Then there are those who are swinger positive and don't give a fuck who knows but at the same time don't understand why so many others aren't shouting it from the rooftops and that seems to annoy them.
"
I get this with my gay colleague at work lol- like he wants to see everyone else's cards and can't seem to relate to how some folk might want to remain more private about sex !! There's a time and place for this stuff! |
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"I wouldn't blame it entirely on catholic guilt.
I've never once had a conversation about my sex life or theirs with anyone away from fab and I've worked with many many non Catholics,non Christians and non Irish.
Even on fab I've found that people who want to talk about their sex lives are often not capable of talking about anything else so while they may class themselves as sex positive, that's about as far as their positivity extends.
Of course there's a time and place and work wouldn't be one of them RB 😂 Myself and some of my female friends would be open to conversations about sex - even just as far as saying we like it, we want it as part of our lives. And Id chat to my adult children about sex and sexuality. It's not all we talk about obviously but it's about being able and feeling like it's ok to do so.
I get that and in those situations it's definitely positive.
I was thinking more along the lines of how some on fab refer to themselves as professional and it grinds a lot of people's gears.
Then there are those who are swinger positive and don't give a fuck who knows but at the same time don't understand why so many others aren't shouting it from the rooftops and that seems to annoy them.
Being sex positive in general is brilliant. Being sex positive on fab should be a given and doesn't need to be announced.
Maybe it's just me but it's a bit like having to tell others that you are nice or genuine. "
It's not a given on here unfortunately. Many here still think what they are doing is shameful. They are still doing it. They just feel they are being naughty here. Swingers are more likely to be sex positive id say, but definitely not a given. |
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"I would say a significant number of my non fab friends are not sex positive. They would never talk about their sex lives, about using toys and I’m convinced they would stage some sort of intervention if they knew about my shenanigans.
There is a major hangover of Catholic guilt in Irish people.
It's true. Different for the younger folk now tho, thankfully !"
Trauma can be multi-generational unfortunately. This will take time |
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Being sex positive doesn’t equal never shutting up about sex, talking about it whether people want to hear or not etc.
It’s being comfortable discussing sex, being non judgmental about others sex lives, not kink shaming, being open to the fact that not everyone’s tastes are the same.
Based on that, there are a lot of non sex positive people on here. It continues to astound me how many very conservative people there are on fab 🤷🏻♀️ |
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"Being sex positive doesn’t equal never shutting up about sex, talking about it whether people want to hear or not etc.
It’s being comfortable discussing sex, being non judgmental about others sex lives, not kink shaming, being open to the fact that not everyone’s tastes are the same.
Based on that, there are a lot of non sex positive people on here. It continues to astound me how many very conservative people there are on fab 🤷🏻♀️"
Sex positive isn't talking openly about sex. It could be a sex positive thing to do, but only to those who consent to hear it.
It's about feeling comfortable in your own skin, your sexuality and admitting and owning the fact that you have the choice to have multiple partners, without shame.
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"Being sex positive doesn’t equal never shutting up about sex, talking about it whether people want to hear or not etc.
It’s being comfortable discussing sex, being non judgmental about others sex lives, not kink shaming, being open to the fact that not everyone’s tastes are the same.
Based on that, there are a lot of non sex positive people on here. It continues to astound me how many very conservative people there are on fab 🤷🏻♀️"
hear hear |
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Like others have already stated I would not equate sex positivity with discussing sex liberally. While the two can go hand in hand, they don’t have to.
I would consider myself to be a very sex positive person. I make that statement on the basis that I’m very interested in and curious about sex and sexuality and I view it as something to be embraced. I like learning about it and I’m always fascinated by how diverse sexual interests are. I want everyone to be having better sex and more of it, what ever that may mean for each individual (provided that all the participants are consenting and willing adults). Repression of sexual expression has caused no shortage of ills in our world - I reckon we’d all be much better off leaving it in the past.
Now, having said all of that, I have never spoken about these views, or the details of my sex life for that matter with anyone other than a partner and my therapist. Never with friends or family. It literally does not feature in conversation at all, and my impression is that this is not exclusive to me, it’s the cultural norm.
So, when I encounter someone I don’t know well who talks openly about sex I’m taken aback - not because I’m uncomfortable with the subject itself, but because I’m uncomfortable with the breach of the cultural norm. However, if someone I knew quite well had want or need to talk about sexual matters with me and brought the topic up, well I wouldn’t bat an eye over anything they could tell me. |
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