What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine.
What did the alien say to the landscaper? Take me to your er.
Me: “I want to write when I grow up.”
Dad: “Why don’t you left instead?”
Love me dads and dad jokes  |
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By *uzy24 OP Woman 26 weeks ago
Belfast |
"What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine.
What did the alien say to the landscaper? Take me to your er.
Me: “I want to write when I grow up.”
Dad: “Why don’t you left instead?”
Love me dads and dad jokes "
That last joke took me a minute lol |
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My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance? Lady Ba Ba.
Who won the neck decorating contest? It was a tie. |
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"Been a while since I seen a forum post about dad jokes
Here's one to start off
What do you call a French man wearing sandals? Philipe Fallop."
what lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?
nervous wreck,,,
what do you call a man with a spade in his head??
dug |
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By *rnicaMan 25 weeks ago
The Great Outdoors |
"Drinking non alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister.....it tastes the same but feels so wrong.....
It's just a joke 😧😇🤣"
Oww 😲 Pushing the boat out with that one (he cries in feigned outrage 😁) |
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By *panishRebelMan 25 weeks ago
Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland |
"Ahhh such great ones on this thread!!
Our fave one ever:
Why do the Norwegians put barcodes on their ships?
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That reminds me of one .......,,.............
A Swede and a Dane were sitting on a park bench smoking a cigarette.
It started raining and then the Swede pulled out a condom and covered his cigarette so he could continue smoking.
Now the Dane was wondering what it was because his cigarette was drenched and he couldn’t smoke it anymore. He asked the Swede what it was and where he could get some.
“They’re called condoms, and you can get them in that pharmacy over there.”
The Dane went off to the pharmacy and asked for some condoms.
The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. The Dane thought for a while and then replied: “Ones that fit on a Camel.”
So they can Scandinavian! 😄😄"
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I played poker with a deck of tarot cards, I got a full house then 4 people died.
I was a trampoline salesman - it had it's up and downs.
I was going to join the debating team but somebody talked me out of it
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