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A Question of Help.

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By *uka007 OP   Man 27 weeks ago

All of Ireland, Truck Driver

Hi All,

My neighbours husband died on Wednesday evening and their children are so abrupt that when the see me coming they turn their backs to me and ignore my existence and then when it comes to driving, they drive up on top of me on a narrow stretch’s of the road passing out lay-bys .

This is all because one of my relatives ran and told the school they were attending that they were in the shop instead of being in school and they attacked me over my relatives sticking their nose in their business . They haven’t spoken to me since 2010.

My mother and father have told me to attend the funeral even though I don’t want to because of their children’s aggression towards me.

What would you do in a situation like this? I’ve haven’t spoken to them in 14 years because of this.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple 27 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

Suddenly being all sad when neither of you gave a crap about each other when they were alive is baffling to me. I wouldn't go. Good luck.

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By *he KakapoMan 27 weeks ago

A nice rock

I don't think anyone on here can give you mich better advise than you will be able to give yourself.

Only you know the actual dynamics at play.

But if you attending has the potential to upset the family even more than they already will be I'd stay away

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By *addyseeds.ieMan 27 weeks ago

Gorey, Enniscorthy


"Hi All,

My neighbours husband died on Wednesday evening and their children are so abrupt that when the see me coming they turn their backs to me and ignore my existence and then when it comes to driving, they drive up on top of me on a narrow stretch’s of the road passing out lay-bys .

This is all because one of my relatives ran and told the school they were attending that they were in the shop instead of being in school and they attacked me over my relatives sticking their nose in their business . They haven’t spoken to me since 2010.

My mother and father have told me to attend the funeral even though I don’t want to because of their children’s aggression towards me.

What would you do in a situation like this? I’ve haven’t spoken to them in 14 years because of this."

I would go. Hopefully after all this time they will be able to put aside all the differences and appreciate the fact that you come to pay respect to their late father and maybe can lead to a reconciliation.

If unfortunately that would not be the case, and they are still aggressive towards you, then better leave earlier the funeral service.

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By *ofusplusCouple 27 weeks ago

Limerick

How will you feel after the funeral? Glad that you went or glad that you stayed away? Only you know whether you should go or not. Good luck

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By *adyKarmennTVTV/TS 27 weeks ago

Dublin

Id go but i think offering sympathy could cause more issue then needed but id make sure i was seen

You know the most Irish thing of everything, if your not seen at a funeral!!

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By *rRiosMan 27 weeks ago

dublin

Send a condolence card. You could even say “I would have liked to attend but was unsure if I would cause issues. Sorry for you loss” or something to that effect

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By *astelloWoman 27 weeks ago

Far far away

I had the same situation when my sister died. We waked her at home and an absolute prick of a neighbour who she detested came to sympathise. It upset us more at time, better he stayed away. As it was a covid funeral and so few ppl..no one wanted him. No point in going if ye weren't on speaking terms when alive. It's insincere.

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By *ionycusMan 27 weeks ago

Babylon

A guy I disliked because he was a lecherous pervert towards some ladies I worked with died, lots of people were shocked when I maintained my disgust of the man after he died, death doesn't change the person they were, forgive and forget is only possible when dealing with logical, sane people,not borderline sick people, f#$k them , do what YOU want

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By *rRiosMan 27 weeks ago

dublin

OP, can you clarify if your neighbors, deceased husband and widowed wife, had a problem with you. Or was it just their, now grown, children?

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By *ka ..Agent k ..Man 27 weeks ago

..

I'd say gather yourself and go Op

Immaterial of the circumstance you don't have to sympathize with them just as long as ur seen, you didn't not turn up, you made the effort and didn't let urself down ur better than that.

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By *aseylee324Couple 27 weeks ago

Valley of Squinting Windows


"Suddenly being all sad when neither of you gave a crap about each other when they were alive is baffling to me. I wouldn't go. Good luck."

This, the Irish thing of "being seen" at a funeral says it all about the insincerity of people. Unless you are genuine in your sympathies (and why should you be) don't go.

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