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Really not easy for single guys on here
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Mr here . I had the pleasure of chatting to alot of single guys at a recent social and I realised how daunting it can be for a single guy to actually go to an event on his own especially if its his first. We met some really nice really genuine guys last weekend in Galway. Unfortunately we can't open our mail to single guys due to the shear volume we got before. But we have messaged some of the lovely guys we met last weekend. So I guess I am saying to other couples ,there are alot of genuine single guys out there.
That need a bit of encouragement to take that step and go to socials and events. So be nice to them chat to them. It took a lot of courage for some of them to be there. |
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By *addy0Man 24 weeks ago
carlow town |
" Mr here . I had the pleasure of chatting to alot of single guys at a recent social and I realised how daunting it can be for a single guy to actually go to an event on his own especially if its his first. We met some really nice really genuine guys last weekend in Galway. Unfortunately we can't open our mail to single guys due to the shear volume we got before. But we have messaged some of the lovely guys we met last weekend. So I guess I am saying to other couples ,there are alot of genuine single guys out there.
That need a bit of encouragement to take that step and go to socials and events. So be nice to them chat to them. It took a lot of courage for some of them to be there."
Complety agree...
However there is quiet a higher ratio of single men too everybidy else on the site, a few years back tried to organise a social and the amount of blank single male profiles that contacted me was ridiclouis and literally couldnt keep up..
Im sure the majority are a 100% sound, but like anything its the smaller minority that ruin it for the genuine guys..just my opinion |
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" Mr here . I had the pleasure of chatting to alot of single guys at a recent social and I realised how daunting it can be for a single guy to actually go to an event on his own especially if its his first. We met some really nice really genuine guys last weekend in Galway. Unfortunately we can't open our mail to single guys due to the shear volume we got before. But we have messaged some of the lovely guys we met last weekend. So I guess I am saying to other couples ,there are alot of genuine single guys out there.
That need a bit of encouragement to take that step and go to socials and events. So be nice to them chat to them. It took a lot of courage for some of them to be there."
Thank you for this. A bad fish doesn’t spoil the pond |
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By *ACOLCouple 24 weeks ago
limerick |
Agree, that is why we prefer to chat with them at socials, as a FAB profile can be deceiving but having the balls to show up at a socials as a single men guarantees a chat from us.
Lina. |
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My most practical piece of advice to any nervous newbies would be- if you have the ticket, but you're too nervous to show up because it's a daunting experience and you don't know what to expect and whatever - just commit to showing up for one hour. Nobody will hold you back if you decide to leave after that hour.
Most of the problem is in those men's heads, some don't want to go to them because they think only desperate people go to them, others don't go to them because they claim they have enough friends and they're here to fuck, some don't show because they think it's some kind of an orgy and everyone will wait for them to "perform"...
From our experience a lot don't even get tickets once it's made clear to them that a social is only a social and there will be no play rooms and glory holes.
Take away from this what you will.
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By *r-EdMan 24 weeks ago
Dublin |
Yeah I went to my first social last weekend in Dublin and it was very daunting. Luckily I was quickly made welcome by a few males and females which chilled me a bit. Although there were quite a few couples there that didn't seem interested in mixing with singles... |
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By *og-ManMan 24 weeks ago
somewhere |
"Yeah I went to my first social last weekend in Dublin and it was very daunting. Luckily I was quickly made welcome by a few males and females which chilled me a bit. Although there were quite a few couples there that didn't seem interested in mixing with singles..."
But thats fine too ...you don't have to mix with people you don't want to just like a normal pub night out |
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" Mr here . I had the pleasure of chatting to alot of single guys at a recent social and I realised how daunting it can be for a single guy to actually go to an event on his own especially if its his first. We met some really nice really genuine guys last weekend in Galway. Unfortunately we can't open our mail to single guys due to the shear volume we got before. But we have messaged some of the lovely guys we met last weekend. So I guess I am saying to other couples ,there are alot of genuine single guys out there.
That need a bit of encouragement to take that step and go to socials and events. So be nice to them chat to them. It took a lot of courage for some of them to be there.
Thank you for this. A bad fish doesn’t spoil the pond" nor the apple the barrel |
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"Yeah I went to my first social last weekend in Dublin and it was very daunting. Luckily I was quickly made welcome by a few males and females which chilled me a bit. Although there were quite a few couples there that didn't seem interested in mixing with singles..."
From our point. We don't mix much as people then think if we talk to them we are interested in more. |
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"Yeah I went to my first social last weekend in Dublin and it was very daunting. Luckily I was quickly made welcome by a few males and females which chilled me a bit. Although there were quite a few couples there that didn't seem interested in mixing with singles...
From our point. We don't mix much as people then think if we talk to them we are interested in more. "
That's the downside of them, alright. |
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" Mr here . I had the pleasure of chatting to alot of single guys at a recent social and I realised how daunting it can be for a single guy to actually go to an event on his own especially if its his first. We met some really nice really genuine guys last weekend in Galway. Unfortunately we can't open our mail to single guys due to the shear volume we got before. But we have messaged some of the lovely guys we met last weekend. So I guess I am saying to other couples ,there are alot of genuine single guys out there.
That need a bit of encouragement to take that step and go to socials and events. So be nice to them chat to them. It took a lot of courage for some of them to be there."
It was a pleasure to meet the pair of you fellow rebels. And of course the lovely rose who was also in your company. Yes it can be hard as a single male or female but the group in Galway at the weekend was just so welcoming. In fairness all the socials I have been to have been well organised and I found it easy to interact with others. Of course the more you go to the more people you will know and it gets easier every time. |
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"Yeah I went to my first social last weekend in Dublin and it was very daunting. Luckily I was quickly made welcome by a few males and females which chilled me a bit. Although there were quite a few couples there that didn't seem interested in mixing with singles..."
I think a part of learning about socials is that sometimes there's a time to move on and it's no big deal.
I realised, to my own embarrassment, after the first big social that I attended that the couple's who felt a bit frosty or distant weren't being rude but just weren't interested. And I talked to one couple for aaaaages. I can laugh about it now but I really felt a bit silly when I realised what was going on.
Equally sometimes you'll talk to people and they might just assume it's because your interested and you might not be.
I feel like that's all part of the fun and part of the ice breaking now but at the time I used to seriously overthink that stuff. |
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" Mr here . I had the pleasure of chatting to alot of single guys at a recent social and I realised how daunting it can be for a single guy to actually go to an event on his own especially if its his first. We met some really nice really genuine guys last weekend in Galway. Unfortunately we can't open our mail to single guys due to the shear volume we got before. But we have messaged some of the lovely guys we met last weekend. So I guess I am saying to other couples ,there are alot of genuine single guys out there.
That need a bit of encouragement to take that step and go to socials and events. So be nice to them chat to them. It took a lot of courage for some of them to be there." Mr is as sound as a bell made me feel like I was a regular. A sound Rebel. |
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By *astelloWoman 24 weeks ago
Far far away |
Best to just be friendly and say hi. I've been to a few socials on my own too..equally as daunting for a female. But learning body language, not being a pest and get involved. Lads have a great common denominator in sport. So work it to your advantage. |
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"Yeah I went to my first social last weekend in Dublin and it was very daunting. Luckily I was quickly made welcome by a few males and females which chilled me a bit. Although there were quite a few couples there that didn't seem interested in mixing with singles...
I think a part of learning about socials is that sometimes there's a time to move on and it's no big deal.
I realised, to my own embarrassment, after the first big social that I attended that the couple's who felt a bit frosty or distant weren't being rude but just weren't interested. And I talked to one couple for aaaaages. I can laugh about it now but I really felt a bit silly when I realised what was going on.
Equally sometimes you'll talk to people and they might just assume it's because your interested and you might not be.
I feel like that's all part of the fun and part of the ice breaking now but at the time I used to seriously overthink that stuff."
So much of this!
I have some serious difficulty reading unspoken social cues and opt for being verbally direct with regards to intent.
I sometimes think some sort of color coded wristband system visually signalling what we're ideally seeking would be great but I'm aware I'm most likely in the minority for wanting that |
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"Best to just be friendly and say hi. I've been to a few socials on my own too..equally as daunting for a female. But learning body language, not being a pest and get involved. Lads have a great common denominator in sport. So work it to your advantage. "
Omg C so true! Unfortunate for some of us guys.. when anyone mentions sports I instantly lose interest |
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I sometimes think some sort of color coded wristband system visually signalling what we're ideally seeking would be great but I'm aware I'm most likely in the minority for wanting that "
I think this is a great idea. I've ordered Bi wristbands for our local Pride day. I'd wear it to a Fab social to show I'm bi which is my identification, but would also like some system to indicate the kind of people I'd like to meet. I only play with Bi folk with my partner but the amount of couples where she is Bi and he's not and me and her are expected to put on some sort of show for his entertainment. Um no. |
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" Mr here . I had the pleasure of chatting to alot of single guys at a recent social and I realised how daunting it can be for a single guy to actually go to an event on his own especially if its his first. We met some really nice really genuine guys last weekend in Galway. Unfortunately we can't open our mail to single guys due to the shear volume we got before. But we have messaged some of the lovely guys we met last weekend. So I guess I am saying to other couples ,there are alot of genuine single guys out there.
That need a bit of encouragement to take that step and go to socials and events. So be nice to them chat to them. It took a lot of courage for some of them to be there." yep 100% tough for us single guys on here |
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I sometimes think some sort of color coded wristband system visually signalling what we're ideally seeking would be great but I'm aware I'm most likely in the minority for wanting that
Ok so reading through everyone's answers, most people would like the idea of some way of identifying what their looking for without the hassle or worry of having to verbally inform every Tom Dick and Henrietta at a event or social..
So was thinking like multicoloured LED bracelets that you
I think this is a great idea. I've ordered Bi wristbands for our local Pride day. I'd wear it to a Fab social to show I'm bi which is my identification, but would also like some system to indicate the kind of people I'd like to meet. I only play with Bi folk with my partner but the amount of couples where she is Bi and he's not and me and her are expected to put on some sort of show for his entertainment. Um no. "
Ok so reading through everyone's answers, most people would like the idea of some way of identifying what their looking for without the hassle or worry of having to verbally inform every Tom Dick and Henrietta at a event or social..
So was thinking like multicoloured LED bracelets that you just set an identifying colour for what your looking for.. that you could change colour or mix colours if you change your preference.. or just turn it off
Or put on flashing multicoloured mode means feck it, I'll take whatever I can get lol
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Hi ya, you do know gay men have been using handkerchiefs to identify what they like for well over 100 years now!
It's not exactely a new idea, I've badges for when I'm on holidays to say what I'm into, if that fails my baseball hat is definitely in your face self explanatory the sun shine site has loads of things like this. |
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By *ACOLCouple 24 weeks ago
limerick |
"Hi ya, you do know gay men have been using handkerchiefs to identify what they like for well over 100 years now!
It's not exactely a new idea, I've badges for when I'm on holidays to say what I'm into, if that fails my baseball hat is definitely in your face self explanatory the sun shine site has loads of things like this. "
This reminds me of a little chuckle I had this morning while at the gym, I don't normally pay much attention to my keys or anything really.
But while I was trying to count reps I looked at my keys and I notice hubby has added a new keyring to my keys, an upside down pineapple.
Lina. |
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By (user no longer on site) 24 weeks ago
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Open sun shine app, you have a huge range of cheap jewellery that have pineapples on them, I bought the full range for holidays, I have pineapple tops, dresses, shorts, bikinis too, cannot make it more obvious except I stick a neon light over my head. Got him some bits too. |
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By *affa31Woman 24 weeks ago
Galway |
I am not a fan of wristbands etc for socials unless it’s in a private area. It raises too many questions with the civilians.
I’m always very impressed with single guys who come to socials alone, not knowing anyone. It’s not an easy thing to do and I definitely wouldn’t do it! |
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Not easy for anyone to go to anything alone. Not easy for single women either, some people are polite and welcoming, and others not so much.
People are odd, what can you do?! Some are nicely odd and others are rudely odd (feck them!). |
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"I remember someone wrote on a previous thread that if single men realised the amount of single men that don't turn up then more would turn up as it improves their odds
"
V true, there wasn't an over abundance of single men in Galway, the ratios were good. |
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"I remember someone wrote on a previous thread that if single men realised the amount of single men that don't turn up then more would turn up as it improves their odds
"
Yep. I realised this after a friend of mine had been to an event and no single guys had turned up at all. |
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By *eijaWoman 24 weeks ago
City Centre |
It takes guts to turn up at an event alone whether male or female but if you do all I say is the rewards you reap far outweight the effort it takes to do it. Socials are such a brilliant way to connect and meet new people without any pressure.
Firstly, everyone has been in your shoes at some stage...everyone had to start out somewhere.
Secondly, look at who is going to the event, get chatting and arrange to meet for a pre-drink and go together. I still do that to this day..or arrange a little prinks so new people can tag along. Then no one feels left out.
Lastly, as someone else already said the amount of guys who do not turn up just increases the chances of all the singles who do!
Don't be afraid we are a friendly bunch just do it!!
B x |
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"
I sometimes think some sort of color coded wristband system visually signalling what we're ideally seeking would be great but I'm aware I'm most likely in the minority for wanting that
Ok so reading through everyone's answers, most people would like the idea of some way of identifying what their looking for without the hassle or worry of having to verbally inform every Tom Dick and Henrietta at a event or social..
So was thinking like multicoloured LED bracelets that you
I think this is a great idea. I've ordered Bi wristbands for our local Pride day. I'd wear it to a Fab social to show I'm bi which is my identification, but would also like some system to indicate the kind of people I'd like to meet. I only play with Bi folk with my partner but the amount of couples where she is Bi and he's not and me and her are expected to put on some sort of show for his entertainment. Um no.
Ok so reading through everyone's answers, most people would like the idea of some way of identifying what their looking for without the hassle or worry of having to verbally inform every Tom Dick and Henrietta at a event or social..
So was thinking like multicoloured LED bracelets that you just set an identifying colour for what your looking for.. that you could change colour or mix colours if you change your preference.. or just turn it off
Or put on flashing multicoloured mode means feck it, I'll take whatever I can get lol
"
Hmmm I change my mind like the wind. I wouldn't wanna go advertising! Happy to be associated with a Fab event and identifiable in that way...for chats etc but not to for pimping myself out. |
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"Not easy for anyone to go to anything alone. Not easy for single women either, some people are polite and welcoming, and others not so much.
People are odd, what can you do?! Some are nicely odd and others are rudely odd (feck them!). " which ones should we feck?? |
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"Open sun shine app, you have a huge range of cheap jewellery that have pineapples on them, I bought the full range for holidays, I have pineapple tops, dresses, shorts, bikinis too, cannot make it more obvious except I stick a neon light over my head. Got him some bits too. "
Shein? I'm presuming.
I got a pineapple nightie and some pineapple string lights for my caravan and also a pineapple dog toy which is on the dash board of my car lol and yes you are right there's loads of pineapple jewellery and tops and shorts and beach towels. They know feckin rightly! |
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It is very daunting to walk in alone as a single man, had my first social last weekend and the memory of the nerves is still very fresh!
Attending socials is deffo the way to go, I can't recommend trying to chat through messages, those who have their messages open to single men have their inboxes full constantly, miracle if your message gets seen tbh
What really helped me was to just go into it with zero expectations, beyond making new friends and talking to people. Every friend you have was once a stranger after all
I was made to feel very welcome right away, everyone was very friendly and it was a great night, buzzing for the next one already |
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,.. I went to my first social, RSV, in Limerick,…. Found I was as unsuccessful a chatting to people as I when I was last single away back then … lol
But yes it was a daunting experience when you’re older .., and I was driving so no beer ! |
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