FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Strategically GAY Males
Strategically GAY Males
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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I wonder how many on here with Bi/Gay In profile are actually really Gay.
It’s pretty difficult for “Single” males here to get any action with the ladies. The ratio of M2F “singles” is way off with the ladies being inundated with offers. (Just from browsing the Forums, you can easily see this).
Possibly also, because the use of “single” is obviously sometimes a bit creative 
Some MM action is preferable to zero MF action !
My guess if for every 100, Men Looking for Men, not even 50% are Gay (& living as Gay).
For 50+ % it’s Strategic
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"I wonder how many on here with Bi/Gay In profile are actually really Gay.
It’s pretty difficult for “Single” males here to get any action with the ladies. The ratio of M2F “singles” is way off with the ladies being inundated with offers. (Just from browsing the Forums, you can easily see this).
Possibly also, because the use of “single” is obviously sometimes a bit creative
Some MM action is preferable to zero MF action !
My guess if for every 100, Men Looking for Men, not even 50% are Gay (& living as Gay).
For 50+ % it’s Strategic
"
Maybe after months with 0 success with women "Any hole is a goal" becomes the mentally haha |
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Not sure if there are many bi-gay profiles here that are not really gay/into men, I just don’t see the point of identifying yourself as bi/gay if you’re not really interested in guys.
Personally I identify myself as bi and I have hetero fun and gay fun, very limited experience with couple and only played with the girl.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"I think you're trying to say you think that men who are not into men are having sex with men?"
Just browsing suggests this is true.
Loads of lads on here with “Straight” in profile but Looking for MM/MFM/Bi etc
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"So now there's Fab Gay as well as Fab Straight?"
Well FabGuys.com has the Gay side covered.
So, again, with FabGuys available, why are so many listing as Gay on FabSwingers ?
Because they are not Gay.
Because “any port in a storm” is a real thing !
More especially for older Guys.
Still active but without opportunity. |
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"So now there's Fab Gay as well as Fab Straight?
Well FabGuys.com has the Gay side covered.
So, again, with FabGuys available, why are so many listing as Gay on FabSwingers ?
Because they are not Gay.
Because “any port in a storm” is a real thing !
More especially for older Guys.
Still active but without opportunity. "
Fab has a poor choice of categories. Even so. Who are we to judge people in their choice of category?
Is there actually such a thing 'not really gay' or 'not gay enough'?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"So now there's Fab Gay as well as Fab Straight?
Well FabGuys.com has the Gay side covered.
So, again, with FabGuys available, why are so many listing as Gay on FabSwingers ?
Because they are not Gay.
Because “any port in a storm” is a real thing !
More especially for older Guys.
Still active but without opportunity.
Fab has a poor choice of categories. Even so. Who are we to judge people in their choice of category?
Is there actually such a thing 'not really gay' or 'not gay enough'?
"
Well, there is a category in the Porn Industry called “Gay for Pay”,
So why wouldn’t there be a (hypothetical) category, called “Gay for Access” or “Gay because I can’t find an opposite sex partner”
It makes sense to me, that someone who has difficulty finding their preferred partner would compromise to just find a partner.
Again, “any port in a storm” is a real thing.
Not being crude here because it’s totally understandable.
No judgement here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"Insinuating that men pretend to be gay out of desperation is, in fact, judgement.
It's a clear criticism and I'm just not sure I understand the point of it."
Can be desperation, can be convenience, can be just strategic access (easier).
Loads of reasons.
Not sure why you think it’s criticism or I’m “insinuating”.
I have no problem with it whatsoever.
Also, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it among consenting adults !
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"I think you're trying to say you think that men who are not into men are having sex with men?
Just browsing suggests this is true.
Loads of lads on here with “Straight” in profile but Looking for MM/MFM/Bi etc
"
There is a much better explanation for this. There are quite a few couples and girls who state that the won't meet bi men. I think it's much more likely that these bi guys are putting that they are straight so as to increase their chances of meeting. To me that's more plausible than properly hetero men fucking other men. |
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"Insinuating that men pretend to be gay out of desperation is, in fact, judgement.
It's a clear criticism and I'm just not sure I understand the point of it.
Can be desperation, can be convenience, can be just strategic access (easier).
Loads of reasons.
Not sure why you think it’s criticism or I’m “insinuating”.
I have no problem with it whatsoever.
Also, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it among consenting adults !
"
Do you really think that 'any port in a storm' isn't criticism? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"I think you're trying to say you think that men who are not into men are having sex with men?
Just browsing suggests this is true.
Loads of lads on here with “Straight” in profile but Looking for MM/MFM/Bi etc
There is a much better explanation for this. There are quite a few couples and girls who state that the won't meet bi men. I think it's much more likely that these bi guys are putting that they are straight so as to increase their chances of meeting. To me that's more plausible than properly hetero men fucking other men."
That doesn’t consider or take into account, the properly hetero men who just can’t get access to females. They exist too ! |
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"I think you're trying to say you think that men who are not into men are having sex with men?
Just browsing suggests this is true.
Loads of lads on here with “Straight” in profile but Looking for MM/MFM/Bi etc
There is a much better explanation for this. There are quite a few couples and girls who state that the won't meet bi men. I think it's much more likely that these bi guys are putting that they are straight so as to increase their chances of meeting. To me that's more plausible than properly hetero men fucking other men.
That doesn’t consider or take into account, the properly hetero men who just can’t get access to females. They exist too !"
How can they not get access to females? They are like 50% of the population. It's a real jump going from a straight guy not getting messages from women on an internet website, straight to putting his dick inside a man |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"Insinuating that men pretend to be gay out of desperation is, in fact, judgement.
It's a clear criticism and I'm just not sure I understand the point of it.
Can be desperation, can be convenience, can be just strategic access (easier).
Loads of reasons.
Not sure why you think it’s criticism or I’m “insinuating”.
I have no problem with it whatsoever.
Also, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it among consenting adults !
Do you really think that 'any port in a storm' isn't criticism?"
Just a turn of phrase.
There is probably a nicer way to say it but I didn’t actually expect a turn of phrase to be taken literally. Using a turn of phrase is an accepted form of communication and should be read in the context in which it is presented. Not in the context you choose to see it.
I have explained a number of times now how I am not critical of the Strategically Gay concept. If it exists. Which I think it does.
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"I think you're trying to say you think that men who are not into men are having sex with men?
Just browsing suggests this is true.
Loads of lads on here with “Straight” in profile but Looking for MM/MFM/Bi etc
MFM is the "straight" kind of threesome so you're not going against your heterosexuality taking part in them. Bit narrow-minded for someone who's on a swingers site tbh
"
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I don't see the point to this thread. It's not like you are going to get any insight into what's going on in people minds, and you appear to have already made up yours.
Who really cares if someone else is straight, gay, bi or any version of the above or just opportunistically willing to consider what ever might arise.
Live and let live |
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"Insinuating that men pretend to be gay out of desperation is, in fact, judgement.
It's a clear criticism and I'm just not sure I understand the point of it.
Can be desperation, can be convenience, can be just strategic access (easier).
Loads of reasons.
Not sure why you think it’s criticism or I’m “insinuating”.
I have no problem with it whatsoever.
Also, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it among consenting adults !
Do you really think that 'any port in a storm' isn't criticism?
Just a turn of phrase.
There is probably a nicer way to say it but I didn’t actually expect a turn of phrase to be taken literally. Using a turn of phrase is an accepted form of communication and should be read in the context in which it is presented. Not in the context you choose to see it.
I have explained a number of times now how I am not critical of the Strategically Gay concept. If it exists. Which I think it does.
"
But you are aware of what that turn of phrase implies?
What is a nicer way to say that someone will fuck anyone?
Plenty guys will but I find it hard to believe that if they are doing it with other men they are not enjoying it.
What is a nicer way to say that if a man can't get a woman he'll go against his sexual orientation and pretend to gay just to get his end away?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"Insinuating that men pretend to be gay out of desperation is, in fact, judgement.
It's a clear criticism and I'm just not sure I understand the point of it.
Can be desperation, can be convenience, can be just strategic access (easier).
Loads of reasons.
Not sure why you think it’s criticism or I’m “insinuating”.
I have no problem with it whatsoever.
Also, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it among consenting adults !
Do you really think that 'any port in a storm' isn't criticism?
Just a turn of phrase.
There is probably a nicer way to say it but I didn’t actually expect a turn of phrase to be taken literally. Using a turn of phrase is an accepted form of communication and should be read in the context in which it is presented. Not in the context you choose to see it.
I have explained a number of times now how I am not critical of the Strategically Gay concept. If it exists. Which I think it does.
But you are aware of what that turn of phrase implies?
What is a nicer way to say that someone will fuck anyone?
Plenty guys will but I find it hard to believe that if they are doing it with other men they are not enjoying it.
What is a nicer way to say that if a man can't get a woman he'll go against his sexual orientation and pretend to gay just to get his end away?
"
“ What is a nicer way to say that if a man can't get a woman he'll go against his sexual orientation and pretend to gay just to get his end away?”
A nicer way would be,
Some men, who for one reason or another, cannot get together with members of the opposite sex, will avail of an opportunity for sexual release with another man.
There are other forms of sexual release, masturbation for example (or sex aids - Fleshlight), however these methods don’t have any other human touch or connection.
A man, who feels the need for both sexual release & human contact, who has difficulty finding such opportunities with his preferred female sexual partner will sometimes avail of M2M as an alternative.
Or you could say,
Any port in a storm. |
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By *og-ManMan 25 weeks ago
somewhere |
Does it not go against conventional thoughts on straight/Gay/Bisexual people i.e you're born that way but for some people they never got to try until later in life due to what society and fab thinks of them
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"I think you're trying to say you think that men who are not into men are having sex with men?
Just browsing suggests this is true.
Loads of lads on here with “Straight” in profile but Looking for MM/MFM/Bi etc
There is a much better explanation for this. There are quite a few couples and girls who state that the won't meet bi men. I think it's much more likely that these bi guys are putting that they are straight so as to increase their chances of meeting. To me that's more plausible than properly hetero men fucking other men.
That doesn’t consider or take into account, the properly hetero men who just can’t get access to females. They exist too !
How can they not get access to females? They are like 50% of the population. It's a real jump going from a straight guy not getting messages from women on an internet website, straight to putting his dick inside a man "
“ How can they not get access to females? They are like 50% of the population”
What is a real jump, is suggesting that because females make up 50% of the population, that men can gain access to them.
That’s just not true !
Ps, I’m using “access” as a convenient word.
Not in any derogatory or negative way.
Just by way of clarification. People are getting triggered by metaphors here and reading them out of context. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"Op not to be taken as a criticism but you're bi curious but looking for men
Why are you not gay in your bio or are you not able to get women and any port in a storm"
I’m not gay in bio, because I’m not gay.
The “looking for men” is the curious part.
I am already with a woman, so that’s the bi part. |
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"Insinuating that men pretend to be gay out of desperation is, in fact, judgement.
It's a clear criticism and I'm just not sure I understand the point of it.
Can be desperation, can be convenience, can be just strategic access (easier).
Loads of reasons.
Not sure why you think it’s criticism or I’m “insinuating”.
I have no problem with it whatsoever.
Also, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it among consenting adults !
Do you really think that 'any port in a storm' isn't criticism?
Just a turn of phrase.
There is probably a nicer way to say it but I didn’t actually expect a turn of phrase to be taken literally. Using a turn of phrase is an accepted form of communication and should be read in the context in which it is presented. Not in the context you choose to see it.
I have explained a number of times now how I am not critical of the Strategically Gay concept. If it exists. Which I think it does.
But you are aware of what that turn of phrase implies?
What is a nicer way to say that someone will fuck anyone?
Plenty guys will but I find it hard to believe that if they are doing it with other men they are not enjoying it.
What is a nicer way to say that if a man can't get a woman he'll go against his sexual orientation and pretend to gay just to get his end away?
“ What is a nicer way to say that if a man can't get a woman he'll go against his sexual orientation and pretend to gay just to get his end away?”
A nicer way would be,
Some men, who for one reason or another, cannot get together with members of the opposite sex, will avail of an opportunity for sexual release with another man.
There are other forms of sexual release, masturbation for example (or sex aids - Fleshlight), however these methods don’t have any other human touch or connection.
A man, who feels the need for both sexual release & human contact, who has difficulty finding such opportunities with his preferred female sexual partner will sometimes avail of M2M as an alternative.
Or you could say,
Any port in a storm. "
Yeah I still don't get it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"Does it not go against conventional thoughts on straight/Gay/Bisexual people i.e you're born that way but for some people they never got to try until later in life due to what society and fab thinks of them
"
Not really sure what you are saying here.
Some say you are born this or that way.
Others say it’s environment / exposure.
Still others (me included) say it’s a combination of both.
There are many pathways to the places we arrive at. My point here was to explore the prevalence / popularity of one particular pathway.
That being, finding what you need, despite it not being exactly what you want. The reasons vary, from desperation to convenience to necessity.
We are all human. We all have needs & desires.
But sometimes we don’t get the opportunity for fulfilment of those needs & desires.
That’s when we compromise.
Nothing wrong with compromise.
Almost everyone does it at some point in their lives.
There are many situations where “something” is better than nothing !
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Can understand where the op is coming from, with some men just wanting to fuck, whatever.
But, a lot of people on here have little interest in the vanilla worlds labelling system.
People's sexual interests are varied and wide. To the point where some rudimentary label just doesn't cut it! |
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By *affa31Woman 25 weeks ago
Galway |
I really don’t think straight guys are fucking men out of desperation.
Straight guys can be curious and want to try sexual contact with a man but that doesn’t make them bi (unless they enjoy it and discover they are bi!). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"Can understand where the op is coming from, with some men just wanting to fuck, whatever.
But, a lot of people on here have little interest in the vanilla worlds labelling system.
People's sexual interests are varied and wide. To the point where some rudimentary label just doesn't cut it!"
It’s not about “just wanting to fuck”.
It’s more about needing sexual release combined with human connection.
People need to be “touched” by another human ! |
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"I really don’t think straight guys are fucking men out of desperation.
Straight guys can be curious and want to try sexual contact with a man but that doesn’t make them bi (unless they enjoy it and discover they are bi!). "
The thing is, does having sex with a man make you gay?..
Saw a profile here recently of a bloke who wanted to be a bottom and was just looking for a top. Stated there would be no other intimate touching, oral sex or kissing.
Would people consider him gay or bi??... Maybe he's just a straight man that enjoys anal? |
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By *affa31Woman 25 weeks ago
Galway |
"I really don’t think straight guys are fucking men out of desperation.
Straight guys can be curious and want to try sexual contact with a man but that doesn’t make them bi (unless they enjoy it and discover they are bi!).
The thing is, does having sex with a man make you gay?..
Saw a profile here recently of a bloke who wanted to be a bottom and was just looking for a top. Stated there would be no other intimate touching, oral sex or kissing.
Would people consider him gay or bi??... Maybe he's just a straight man that enjoys anal?"
I don’t think that trying sex with a man makes you gay or bi. I’m also not fully sure that only enjoying sex with a man would make you gay/bi…does your sexuality come down to who you are attracted to rather than who you want to fuck?
As you’ve said, it’s such a spectrum and in all honesty, does it really matter who you fuck as long as it’s safe and consensual? |
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By (user no longer on site) 25 weeks ago
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I heard an interesting lady on the radio some months ago (she was a psychologist)
She was discussing the experimental stage of the teenage years. Her hypothesis was that girls are more experimental and fluid in their orientation than boys. In her study she found that boys tended to be straight or gay whereas girls were not as linear. I found it interesting and her findings would be contradictory to some of the points stated here.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"I really don’t think straight guys are fucking men out of desperation.
Straight guys can be curious and want to try sexual contact with a man but that doesn’t make them bi (unless they enjoy it and discover they are bi!). "
Some are. (Fucking out of desperation)
Some just want the human connection along with the sexual release.
Older people (men in particular) are often still sexually active. Their wives may not be.
They don’t want to or can’t find another woman.
What is their alternative !
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By *affa31Woman 25 weeks ago
Galway |
"I really don’t think straight guys are fucking men out of desperation.
Straight guys can be curious and want to try sexual contact with a man but that doesn’t make them bi (unless they enjoy it and discover they are bi!).
Some are. (Fucking out of desperation)
Some just want the human connection along with the sexual release.
Older people (men in particular) are often still sexually active. Their wives may not be.
They don’t want to or can’t find another woman.
What is their alternative !
"
I’ll have to respectfully disagree. You don’t seem open to other views anyway  |
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"I heard an interesting lady on the radio some months ago (she was a psychologist)
She was discussing the experimental stage of the teenage years. Her hypothesis was that girls are more experimental and fluid in their orientation than boys. In her study she found that boys tended to be straight or gay whereas girls were not as linear. I found it interesting and her findings would be contradictory to some of the points stated here.
"
I'm no expert, but I imagine that's primarily a societal influence.
The last thing most teenage lads want to be thought of is "gay", if they wanted to experiment.
Women dint seem to gave the same stigma. |
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By *affa31Woman 25 weeks ago
Galway |
"Having to scroll to the bottom of the Thread to see updates is a pain 
The newer posts should populate from the top. "
You can hit jump to newest or if you click on the time stamp on the thread, it’ll bring you to the newest one. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"I really don’t think straight guys are fucking men out of desperation.
Straight guys can be curious and want to try sexual contact with a man but that doesn’t make them bi (unless they enjoy it and discover they are bi!).
Some are. (Fucking out of desperation)
Some just want the human connection along with the sexual release.
Older people (men in particular) are often still sexually active. Their wives may not be.
They don’t want to or can’t find another woman.
What is their alternative !
I’ll have to respectfully disagree. You don’t seem open to other views anyway "
Open to all views.
Simply expressing my view (also respectfully)
There are many views expressed here.
There is validity and sense in many if not all of them.
Disagreeing is also ok
Isn’t discussion the point of a forum ?
If everyone agrees. No point in discussing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"Having to scroll to the bottom of the Thread to see updates is a pain
The newer posts should populate from the top.
Hit the jump to newest button!"
Thanks.
I should’ve seen that.
Pretty new here.
It probably shows |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"Having to scroll to the bottom of the Thread to see updates is a pain
The newer posts should populate from the top.
You can hit jump to newest or if you click on the time stamp on the thread, it’ll bring you to the newest one. "
Thanks yes, I found it.
Or, actually, someone showed it to me
Have been scrolling like mad here duh  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"I don't see the point to this thread. It's not like you are going to get any insight into what's going on in people minds, and you appear to have already made up yours.
Who really cares if someone else is straight, gay, bi or any version of the above or just opportunistically willing to consider what ever might arise.
Live and let live "
You know there is a thread on here called,
“Is Fermanagh the most boring place on the planet”
What is the point of that thread.
On a Sex Website ffs
Live & Let Live I suppose  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 25 weeks ago
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"As one of those old guys you mentioned I'd give up sex permanently rather than be strategic.
There's a myth going about that it's difficult for men to meet women here.
It's just that. A myth."
Yes, that’s easy for you to say.
Because, I hear you have “skills”
A very particular set of skills. |
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Haven't read all this thread so I'm sorry if it's been mentioned. For a site which is hugely male heavy (presumably straight) isn't it funny that trans girls shoot straight to the top of hot photos everytime. Me personally I identify as straight. I am in no way attracted to men. However I fantasise about sucking cock and getting fucked. Wife is willing to peg me we just haven't got round to getting a strapon. I'm extremely interested in trans girls but prefer them to look extremely feminine. Not sure how to label myself lol. Perhaps cock curious.I also like gay porn. I've had some interest from gay guys on nights out in the past but no interest in them. I used to be confused but now I don't care. |
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exable but that's not an option on here. There's stuff I'd do with guys and there stuff I wouldn't. 