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Wedding Invitations
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So we have THREE weddings....3 weekends in a row (fs)
It's been years since I attended a wedding.
Normally I decline wedding invites as they are just such a long day but these 3 specific ones I can't decline.
So my question is..what is the 'going rate' as a present to the happy couple?
I doubt a toaster or kettle is acceptable nowadays.
Pinks
xxxx |
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By *eMacMan 38 weeks ago
kildare |
I love a good wedding but three weekends in a row….tbh I don’t envy ya and with more than likely one if not two nights in a hotel it’s gonna be pricey and you just got to do what’s workable for you. Toaster I’m afraid is gone! I was going to a wedding last year and a few from work also going, the chat led to the figure of circa €200 if you were bringing someone to wedding, family maybe more. It’s very hard to guage. Enjoy the weekends you are gonna wrecked by the end of that month!! |
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"On that note, I'm a groomsman for a wedding and have no idea what little to put in a card. It's a madness. €300 to €500 is what I'm thinking is that mad?"
Oh the old wedding invites/summons 
Part of the wedding party, its a 500 from us. 200 minimum as guests.
Absolutely bananas   |
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By *affa31Woman 38 weeks ago
Galway |
It blows my fucking mind that people give more money if they’re part of the wedding party! You’re already feckin helping out.
Tbh I find being expected to give €100 per person or whatever to attend a wedding disgusting…they chose to have the wedding, why the fuck am I paying for it? |
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By *eMacMan 38 weeks ago
kildare |
"On that note, I'm a groomsman for a wedding and have no idea what little to put in a card. It's a madness. €300 to €500 is what I'm thinking is that mad?"
Sorry mate….think I’d have to go with the 500  |
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By *aseylee324Couple 38 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
"It blows my fucking mind that people give more money if they’re part of the wedding party! You’re already feckin helping out.
Tbh I find being expected to give €100 per person or whatever to attend a wedding disgusting…they chose to have the wedding, why the fuck am I paying for it? "
I agree, give them a gift if you want to,if you don't, don't. Or decline the invitation, life is too short to waste attending events if you don't want to, and are then expected to fork out money for.
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By *aseylee324Couple 38 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
Tell the three couples that you are attending 3 weddings, 3 weeks in a row and you're gonna put some cash in an envelope and they all have to cage fight for it, lol
Seriously,I think I'd be declining two out of the three, but who do you decline?
Or...I'd book three weeks holiday and go to none of them! Less cash in the envelope and they are not having to pay for feeding you, entertaining you and paying for all the other unnecessary shite
L |
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By *eordie.Woman 38 weeks ago
The Sticks |
"It blows my fucking mind that people give more money if they’re part of the wedding party! You’re already feckin helping out.
Tbh I find being expected to give €100 per person or whatever to attend a wedding disgusting…they chose to have the wedding, why the fuck am I paying for it?
I agree, give them a gift if you want to,if you don't, don't. Or decline the invitation, life is too short to waste attending events if you don't want to, and are then expected to fork out money for.
"
I just don't go. It's nothing to do with the expected gift...I just would rather gouge my own eyes out than spend the day penned in with a bunch of pissed strangers making small talk |
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Forgetting about the gift for a second, do you WANT to attend these weddings? Are they from close friends or family who you care about and want to celebrate with? All three of them?
If they are close friends who you care about and who care about you then you should be able to talk to them about this and discuss the expense of it all, and if they aren't assholes then they will understand.
Maybe you can defer a gift to later on, maybe you can go to the ceremony and duck out after so they aren't having to pay to feed you, maybe you can give a token amount, or do something to help prepare for the day instead of cash. There are options but they ALL involve good communication. |
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"It blows my fucking mind that people give more money if they’re part of the wedding party! You’re already feckin helping out.
Tbh I find being expected to give €100 per person or whatever to attend a wedding disgusting…they chose to have the wedding, why the fuck am I paying for it? "
I completely agree with this, always felt this way.
If I'm going to a wedding and the expectation is I'll pay for my meal and then give a bit towards the cost of the chair covers, I'd rather bring my own.
If you need your guests to help pay for your wedding, then don't have such a big bloody wedding and let your guests enjoy the thought of coming rather than the stress of the expense of it, for them. |
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By *og-ManMan 38 weeks ago
somewhere |
Nephew's or Niece's €200
There the only wedding's I get invited too
Goddaughter getting married later this year and €500 has been discussed
I've refused to go to foreign weddings or weddings that you have to book 2 nights in an uncomfortable country house as a guest because you can't book one night
Have a wedding in 3 weeks its €500 for one night so I'll get a taxi home |
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Last wedding I was at I gave €100.
Before that I went to New York for my best mates wedding. Cost of flights and 5 nights in a hotel with my gf was my wedding gift.
Giving what you can is grand. If you can give more and that feels good sure that's great. |
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If going single €100 is more than enough imo, a gift is also acceptable.
As a couple, we'd usually give €200-250 depending on association!
As for being a part of the wedding party, not really been in years, but don't see why it should be more than attending as a couple!? |
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"It blows my fucking mind that people give more money if they’re part of the wedding party! You’re already feckin helping out.
Tbh I find being expected to give €100 per person or whatever to attend a wedding disgusting…they chose to have the wedding, why the fuck am I paying for it? "
I'm in agreement.
Are couples going down the path of ceremonies and expensive receptions with a curated list of attendees that will give them 100s in cash to pay for it? You shouldn't have to cover the cost of what the bride and groom are paying out for you to be there. It's something that grinds my gears. |
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"It blows my fucking mind that people give more money if they’re part of the wedding party! You’re already feckin helping out.
Tbh I find being expected to give €100 per person or whatever to attend a wedding disgusting…they chose to have the wedding, why the fuck am I paying for it? "
I like how you think Jaffa |
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"On that note, I'm a groomsman for a wedding and have no idea what little to put in a card. It's a madness. €300 to €500 is what I'm thinking is that mad?
Oh the old wedding invites/summons
Part of the wedding party, its a 500 from us. 200 minimum as guests.
Absolutely bananas "
Lovely |
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"On that note, I'm a groomsman for a wedding and have no idea what little to put in a card. It's a madness. €300 to €500 is what I'm thinking is that mad?
Sorry mate….think I’d have to go with the 500 "
Most likely |
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Tbf, anytime we've been part of the wedding party, they've either been siblings or very close friends. They paid for our accommodation, hair, make up, dress / suit etc. So we never gave it a 2nd thought! That's from 2 of us also, absolutely Wouldn't expect someone as a single to give that much! One of my bridesmaids made me a beautiful piece of art and I absolutely love it! Can't remember what most gave in cards. (Not being ungrateful, its just a long time ago!) So for me, the thought definitely counts!
Give what you can afford and enjoy celebrating the day, life is too short to sweat the small stuff  |
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"On that note, I'm a groomsman for a wedding and have no idea what little to put in a card. It's a madness. €300 to €500 is what I'm thinking is that mad?
Sorry mate….think I’d have to go with the 500 "
Why on earth would a groomsman give €500??....Madness!
Its these type of people that start all this nonsense in the first place! I wouldn't give it and I most certainly would not expect it from anyone. |
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"It blows my fucking mind that people give more money if they’re part of the wedding party! You’re already feckin helping out.
Tbh I find being expected to give €100 per person or whatever to attend a wedding disgusting…they chose to have the wedding, why the fuck am I paying for it?
I'm in agreement.
Are couples going down the path of ceremonies and expensive receptions with a curated list of attendees that will give them 100s in cash to pay for it? You shouldn't have to cover the cost of what the bride and groom are paying out for you to be there. It's something that grinds my gears. "
There are definitely some that do this, without a doubt. I know one or two who spent the morning after counting money on the bed. Because they hadn't anywhere near enough money to cover the day they'd splashed out on for themsleves! |
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I have one in July, fucking dreading it.
A guy told me he'd rather go to a funeral than a wedding. Costs you nothing to go, get z culpa and a sandwich and don't have to buy a suit.
Tight fucker, but he was right   |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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Buy a token gift and 100 euro pe plate. Ie uf your bring a pluse 1 add 1 add a extra 100 euro. We got married many years ago and i couldnt tell you how much we got but can name every gift we got and who gave them because the taught was there! |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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3 weddings in 3 weeks...what an absolute nightmare! On the plus side, can you at least get away with the same ensemble?!
As a single person going to any wedding I give 100 quid. End of. It's as much as I can afford.
Only been a part of bridal party twice and both times siblings so obviously gave way more than that.
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When we got married some people gave money some people gave a gift some people couldn't afford to give anything we didn't care we wanted a good day to celebrate our wedding and just wanted everyone to have a great day and to remember it. And all of the above happened. We asked people because they were friends and family not because we wanted their money. |
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Wait, what???? Guests paying a contribution towards the cost of the wedding? When did this become a thing? Consider my mind boggled!
Regarding gifts, buy something you can comfortably afford. I wouldn't spend more than £50 unless it was a close friend or family member, and even then it wouldn't be more than £100. |
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My thoughts on attending weddings and what you should be gifting and this is a general rule of mine if going as a single person i would always go €150 and if your going as a couple €250 as this would cover the cost if the meal plus the wedding gift itself. |
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Live a good wedding!! Tie round head and knee slide on the dance floor!!
past couple of weddings, £50 in a card or same in gift voucher,
Its what I could afford at the time for the happy couples.
Give what you can afford is what i say,
if that's £€200/300 All well and good
If it's €£50 all well and good
3 weddings on the bounce be tight enough going,
 |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"On that note, I'm a groomsman for a wedding and have no idea what little to put in a card. It's a madness. €300 to €500 is what I'm thinking is that mad?"
I gave 500 being groomsman |
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By *aseylee324Couple 38 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
"I was only saying the other day I've not been a guest at a wedding in years. Reading this I'm glad "
One of the perks of being divorced is avoiding the merry-go-round of my kids' cousins' weddings |
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"Wait, what???? Guests paying a contribution towards the cost of the wedding? When did this become a thing? Consider my mind boggled!
Regarding gifts, buy something you can comfortably afford. I wouldn't spend more than £50 unless it was a close friend or family member, and even then it wouldn't be more than £100."
I could count on one hand the number of weddings I've been a guest at and never gave more than £50 or bought a gift for that amount.
Last one I was at was my niece and I gave them towels and something else that totalled to about £60.
£500 my arse. |
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I don't understand the principle behind a groomsman or best man giving a big amount.
I've been best man and still gave a gift worth £50.
I'm helping them out on their day already. Why the fuck would I be giving them £500 when they asked me to do it? |
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"Live a good wedding!! Tie round head and knee slide on the dance floor!!
past couple of weddings, £50 in a card or same in gift voucher,
Its what I could afford at the time for the happy couples.
Give what you can afford is what i say,
if that's £€200/300 All well and good
If it's €£50 all well and good
3 weddings on the bounce be tight enough going,
"
Exactly!! Give whatever you can and enjoy the day |
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"I don't understand the principle behind a groomsman or best man giving a big amount.
I've been best man and still gave a gift worth £50.
I'm helping them out on their day already. Why the fuck would I be giving them £500 when they asked me to do it? "
There is a belief amongst some couples that when "they" go all out on wedding clothes, locations, vehicles etc. that the wedding party should, for some reason, be contributing!
I'd be mortified if people thought that of me, not a chance! |
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"Wait, what???? Guests paying a contribution towards the cost of the wedding? When did this become a thing? Consider my mind boggled!
Regarding gifts, buy something you can comfortably afford. I wouldn't spend more than £50 unless it was a close friend or family member, and even then it wouldn't be more than £100.
I could count on one hand the number of weddings I've been a guest at and never gave more than £50 or bought a gift for that amount.
Last one I was at was my niece and I gave them towels and something else that totalled to about £60.
£500 my arse."
I can't get my head around it and I've honestly not encountered it.
Is it something that's more prevalent in the ROI than up here I wonder? |
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"Wait, what???? Guests paying a contribution towards the cost of the wedding? When did this become a thing? Consider my mind boggled!
Regarding gifts, buy something you can comfortably afford. I wouldn't spend more than £50 unless it was a close friend or family member, and even then it wouldn't be more than £100.
I could count on one hand the number of weddings I've been a guest at and never gave more than £50 or bought a gift for that amount.
Last one I was at was my niece and I gave them towels and something else that totalled to about £60.
£500 my arse.
I can't get my head around it and I've honestly not encountered it.
Is it something that's more prevalent in the ROI than up here I wonder?"
Have to agree, standard to give big present down south, being to English weddings before, and 50 or 60 is enough to give. One wedding London was one by half 11. Bar closed , end of. |
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By *ilderMan 38 weeks ago
dublin |
"Nephew's or Niece's €200
There the only wedding's I get invited too
Goddaughter getting married later this year and €500 has been discussed
I've refused to go to foreign weddings or weddings that you have to book 2 nights in an uncomfortable country house as a guest because you can't book one night
Have a wedding in 3 weeks its €500 for one night so I'll get a taxi home "
Many years ago I went to a wedding about 100km from Dublin and I got a bus home after two am. Was in my own bed after four (after sleeping on bus). No checking out at eleven am with a hangover for me .
My only regret was as I waited for the bus the local night club was emptying. I thought feck it I should have bailed on the wedding after midnight and chanced my arm in the club (in my suit) .
I had done that a few years previous with a mate and had a much better night because of it . There's only so may times you can hear a wedding band playing sweet Caroline etc |
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"Wait, what???? Guests paying a contribution towards the cost of the wedding? When did this become a thing? Consider my mind boggled!
Regarding gifts, buy something you can comfortably afford. I wouldn't spend more than £50 unless it was a close friend or family member, and even then it wouldn't be more than £100."
That's 1 off my wedding list |
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Avoid weddings like the plague !!!
If I absolutely have to go, like all 11 of my grannies have died in the previous couple of months and the dog just will not eat any more homework then €150 and I don't care what relation of mine you are, wife, mother, mother in law €150 or €200 if the agree to let me not attend. |
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By *ol_ieMan 38 weeks ago
Dublin west |
Worst nightmare stuff that.
I just dont bother going as they drive me mad hanging around all day with people I dont want to be with.
Probably still buy them a small personal gift, but I dont do the weddings. |
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"Tbf, anytime we've been part of the wedding party, they've either been siblings or very close friends. They paid for our accommodation, hair, make up, dress / suit etc. So we never gave it a 2nd thought! That's from 2 of us also, absolutely Wouldn't expect someone as a single to give that much! One of my bridesmaids made me a beautiful piece of art and I absolutely love it! Can't remember what most gave in cards. (Not being ungrateful, its just a long time ago!) So for me, the thought definitely counts!
Give what you can afford and enjoy celebrating the day, life is too short to sweat the small stuff "
Thanks for the advice |
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"If going single €100 is more than enough imo, a gift is also acceptable.
As a couple, we'd usually give €200-250 depending on association!
As for being a part of the wedding party, not really been in years, but don't see why it should be more than attending as a couple!? "
That's fair enough thanks |
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Normally we would give €200 or €300 as a couple on a wedding day depending on how well we know the couple and family then would be €500.Think about the meal alone would cost the wedding couple €80-€120 per head depending on day of the week and hotel etc. At least cover that and a little extra. |
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All great advice folks & thank you xx
I was just thinking bk to my own wedding day which was 20yrs ago..yes I'm THAT old lol
our choice of venue, meal plan etc was based on what WE COULD AFFORD ... at no stage sis we think awh sure all the money we get from people will pay for it. we actually paid off the venue in advance on a weekly basis so the day after wedding they had to give us money back.
Is this the approach to a wedding nowadays? that the money from guests will help pay for someone's lavish tastes?
no wonder I avoided them over the years! these 3 weddings are close friends & family & I can't get away with the same dress ro each of them either so 3 new dresses & suits for himself too...on top of hair, make up, tan.....think I'll be ringing in sick on the morning of the weddings tbh |
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"All great advice folks & thank you xx
I was just thinking bk to my own wedding day which was 20yrs ago..yes I'm THAT old lol
our choice of venue, meal plan etc was based on what WE COULD AFFORD ... at no stage sis we think awh sure all the money we get from people will pay for it. we actually paid off the venue in advance on a weekly basis so the day after wedding they had to give us money back.
Is this the approach to a wedding nowadays? that the money from guests will help pay for someone's lavish tastes?
no wonder I avoided them over the years! these 3 weddings are close friends & family & I can't get away with the same dress ro each of them either so 3 new dresses & suits for himself too...on top of hair, make up, tan.....think I'll be ringing in sick on the morning of the weddings tbh"
Suits?....surely you mean suit? |
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By *affa31Woman 38 weeks ago
Galway |
The whole “at least cover the cost of your meal” refrain makes me laugh. It must be the only invite to dinner that you have to pay for and for mediocre food too. You’d get a much better meal in a restaurant and better food most of the time!
The whole culture around lavish Irish weddings is mad as far as I’m concerned.
Happy to go to weddings of family and very close friends…the rest can do without me |
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My daughter got married a few years ago in a registry office and we went out for a family meal after. That was it. No presents or lavish displays.
One of her friends decided that was the best way to go and is going to the same registry office in a couple of months.
However she has invited 40 people including me to a meal in a local pub afterwards and everyone has to pay for their own meal.
I don't mind that so much but I've only met her twice so not sure why I'm on the list and why I should have to pay for a meal at a wedding where I don't know the bride or groom. |
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By *og-ManMan 38 weeks ago
somewhere |
So if you get an invite to a wedding and turn it down do you still get the couple a present
Got invited to a wedding in The Gold coast once
They offered to pay one night in the very fancy hotel they had picked
Said no ....then got an email wondering how much of a contribution was I giving them towards their happy day
Told her to fuck off by email
Bit awkward when they visited Ireland and came to my house but they're divorced now anyway
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"So if you get an invite to a wedding and turn it down do you still get the couple a present
Got invited to a wedding in The Gold coast once
They offered to pay one night in the very fancy hotel they had picked
Said no ....then got an email wondering how much of a contribution was I giving them towards their happy day
Told her to fuck off by email
Bit awkward when they visited Ireland and came to my house but they're divorced now anyway
"
I got one in India 5 or 6 years ago.
The invitation email arrived 3 weeks before the wedding and the big day was 10 days before Christmas in a tiny mountain village.
I turned it down but not before looking at the logistics.
Flights alone were £3k followed by a 10 hour bus journey(no trains going direct).
Then I would have to hire a car and drive for another 3 or 4 hours to get to the village.
When I turned it down and said the timing was all wrong for me. (I didn't say anything about the cost) they asked if I could give them a present.
I was a bit wary but asked if there was anything they would like and they said yes, the next time they visited Ireland they wanted me to take them hiking in the Mournes.
I agreed and that's what we did a couple of years later. |
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"The whole “at least cover the cost of your meal” refrain makes me laugh. It must be the only invite to dinner that you have to pay for and for mediocre food too. You’d get a much better meal in a restaurant and better food most of the time!
The whole culture around lavish Irish weddings is mad as far as I’m concerned.
Happy to go to weddings of family and very close friends…the rest can do without me "
Couldn't agree more!...The mentality is terrible and it's got to the point that couples will plan big lavish weddings they can't really afford and then invite 300 people to try an pay for it!
And with the Instagram generation all getting to the wedding period of their lives, it's getting worse and worse! |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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If you’re going solo, €150/200 is more than enough. €300/350 for a couple
If you’re part of the wedding team, keep it the same just sweat a bit for your supper!
You could always get them a sub for fab and see how that goes |
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By *iscuits8Man 38 weeks ago
Meath / Dublin / Birmingham |
"3 new dresses & suits for himself too...on top of hair, make up, tan.....think I'll be ringing in sick on the morning of the weddings tbh"
If you did want to attend all three surely there are some huge corners you can cut here, no?
Does he have 1/2 decent fitting suits already? I own two suits - a navy and a grey - and they just get rotated with different combinations of shirt/shoes/tie/pocket square etc. Is there a need for 3 individual dresses or could you buy one and wear it to the 1st/3rd wedding and an existing one in between? Have you family/friends in make-up who'd do the job as a nixer?
Not having a go at all by the way! Just I know well how expensive they are and I've often gone out of my way to keep my spend down. Not even exaggerating when I say you can easily get a package holiday abroad for a week for less than a night or two at a wedding a couple of hours from home. |
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By *aseylee324Couple 38 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
"The whole “at least cover the cost of your meal” refrain makes me laugh. It must be the only invite to dinner that you have to pay for and for mediocre food too. You’d get a much better meal in a restaurant and better food most of the time!
The whole culture around lavish Irish weddings is mad as far as I’m concerned.
Happy to go to weddings of family and very close friends…the rest can do without me "
Absofuckinglutely !! And when you pay for a restaurant meal you get to choose your table companions too ! |
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By *eordie.Woman 38 weeks ago
The Sticks |
"The whole “at least cover the cost of your meal” refrain makes me laugh. It must be the only invite to dinner that you have to pay for and for mediocre food too. You’d get a much better meal in a restaurant and better food most of the time!
The whole culture around lavish Irish weddings is mad as far as I’m concerned.
Happy to go to weddings of family and very close friends…the rest can do without me
Absofuckinglutely !! And when you pay for a restaurant meal you get to choose your table companions too !"
or even none at all! |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"The whole “at least cover the cost of your meal” refrain makes me laugh. It must be the only invite to dinner that you have to pay for and for mediocre food too. You’d get a much better meal in a restaurant and better food most of the time!
The whole culture around lavish Irish weddings is mad as far as I’m concerned.
Happy to go to weddings of family and very close friends…the rest can do without me
Absofuckinglutely !! And when you pay for a restaurant meal you get to choose your table companions too !"
& No fecking speeches |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"So we have THREE weddings....3 weekends in a row (fs)
It's been years since I attended a wedding.
Normally I decline wedding invites as they are just such a long day but these 3 specific ones I can't decline.
So my question is..what is the 'going rate' as a present to the happy couple?
I doubt a toaster or kettle is acceptable nowadays.
Pinks
xxxx"
Give what you can afford simple as that. |
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"God I miss getting an invite to the afters of a wedding but sadly they're few & far between as ya get older it's mostly the whole shebang "
An invite to the afters of a wedding is the golden ticket!!
We have a wedding in a few weeks that starts at 6pm. There will be finger food and dancing! We are really looking forward to it, it'll be like a regular night out. So much easier to plan childcare and its local so we will be home afterwards. Takes a lot of pressure off! |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"God I miss getting an invite to the afters of a wedding but sadly they're few & far between as ya get older it's mostly the whole shebang
An invite to the afters of a wedding is the golden ticket!!
We have a wedding in a few weeks that starts at 6pm. There will be finger food and dancing! We are really looking forward to it, it'll be like a regular night out. So much easier to plan childcare and its local so we will be home afterwards. Takes a lot of pressure off! "
They're the dream not got one in a long time now it was more years ago when the cousins would get invited to afters or friend of a friend was getting married, small family weddings with as many as ya like invited to the afters should be the norm again but unfortunately most wanna show off now inviting hundreds to all of it |
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By *forsexyfunCouple 38 weeks ago
border counties armagh monaghan cavan |
The principal of covering your meal usually applies so say its 100 euro a head for the meal /venue and its a couple going then 200 euro min is generally what is considered norm
Heard a debate on the radio the other day about this same topic
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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Two weddings in August coming up. Diverse bunch expected so should both be fun!
Cash is the way to go for the presents. One is home and one is away so will be as generous as possible for both. |
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By *runchMan 30 weeks ago
Dublin |
"The whole “at least cover the cost of your meal” refrain makes me laugh. It must be the only invite to dinner that you have to pay for and for mediocre food too. You’d get a much better meal in a restaurant and better food most of the time!
The whole culture around lavish Irish weddings is mad as far as I’m concerned.
Happy to go to weddings of family and very close friends…the rest can do without me
Couldn't agree more!...The mentality is terrible and it's got to the point that couples will plan big lavish weddings they can't really afford and then invite 300 people to try an pay for it!
And with the Instagram generation all getting to the wedding period of their lives, it's getting worse and worse!"
There is nothing lavish or grand about Irish weddings; they are all the same. Rip off doesn't equate to lavish. |
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"So we have THREE weddings....3 weekends in a row (fs)
It's been years since I attended a wedding.
Normally I decline wedding invites as they are just such a long day but these 3 specific ones I can't decline.
So my question is..what is the 'going rate' as a present to the happy couple?
I doubt a toaster or kettle is acceptable nowadays.
Pinks
xxxx"
It's now the norm to put €100 in a card |
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Jajaja !!! I have just seen ing celebrations are a pain everywhere. I have just attended to one in Ireland based on filling my curiosity, enough !!!
I skip 99% of them giving away some money and a more or less reliable excuse… but if I can’t… 200€+ taking into account the venue, I try to reward their effort too. |
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By *yhonWoman 30 weeks ago
Dublin Wicklow |
Thankfully I'm at a stage where friends & family are now married or not bothered with it.
For ladies alone it's so expensive when you take into account the cost of a new dress, shoes, bag, hair, make-up, jewellery, tan and perhaps perfume. Easily €200-300 & that's a tight budget imo.
The last wedding I went to was in the UK & between flights, accommodation, gift etc it came to nearly €2.5k for two of us. Absolutely bonkers stuff and glad I didn't have to fork it out in one go!
As for the gift...I remember very little of who gave what amount when I got married (happily single now!), but I do remember who gave which present, and I love that.
So now I like to give a gift and a card with some cash from €50 upwards, depending on who they are to me.
I don't think anyone should ever feel under pressure or expected to give X amount.
They are horrendously expensive days, so give what you want. |
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Well having been at two recently I done the same for both just stuck at 300euro. It's an awful thing because nobody wants to offend anybody but you give too much you're a flash Harry too little and you're Ebenezer |
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By *affa31Woman 30 weeks ago
Galway |
"Jajaja !!! I try to reward their effort too.
That’s it, don’t leave them in the red "
Why are we expected to pay for an event they planned themselves? If they can’t afford it, don’t do it!!!
Weddings piss me the fuck off tbh |
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By *fox34Woman 30 weeks ago
Louth |
If you're just an ordinary guest, then I say between 150-200. No one else will know how much you gave, only the couple and when you think of it, of all the envelopes they're going to get, would they even remember how much you gave. I was a bridesmaids last year and I gave 300. Apparently, the closer/involved you are, the more expensive lol |
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By *oo32Man 30 weeks ago
tipperary |
"So we have THREE weddings....3 weekends in a row (fs)
It's been years since I attended a wedding.
Normally I decline wedding invites as they are just such a long day but these 3 specific ones I can't decline.
So my question is..what is the 'going rate' as a present to the happy couple?
I doubt a toaster or kettle is acceptable nowadays.
Pinks
xxxx"
Put in whatever you are comfortable with being able to afford |
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In the stages of planning our own wedding at the moment, we're having city hall wedding with a glass of champagne/whiskey per guest. Hiring out a function room in a bar that's close, and having a buffet table/ charcuterie table. Putting €500 down on a drinks tab. Anything after that the guests pay themselves (if food runs out and bar tab gone)
Guests are not required to give gifts or money , just a card to go in a memory boom.
In total everything is costing €5.200. With 50 guests of close family and close friends. No kids unless our own or nieces/nephews
Boggles rhe brain how people can spend €20+ plus for weddings and then expect guests to contribute towards their wedding and pay for accommodation and travel too ..
But in saying that the few weddings we have been to are family and we gave €200 as a couple |
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It's a tricky one . Cost of a wedding breakfast differs according to the day you pick, the meal, the band. Had a wedding up in Louth recently and the couple were paying for it themselves. It worked out at€95 per head and then the band cost €2900. There were 110 people at it. So just for argument sake if everyone gave €100, they would have lost money on their big day, which they did anyway.
Personally I wouldn't attend 3 weddings in 3 weeks as I couldn't afford it. The ones I will go to will get€150 as I'm a single printer. |
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By *affa31Woman 30 weeks ago
Galway |
"Me thinks €500 is the norm that's a +1
Food in some of these hotels starts at €110 per head.."
But the couple chooses to have their wedding at these stupidly expensive places!!! Like in what world do you invite someone for dinner and then say oh it costs €110 for the food so you’ll need to give me €200 cash each please and thanks.
Fuck right off ☺️
I just don’t see why family and friends are expected to pay for people to get married. I couldn’t give a shite if you’re married or not. |
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"It's a tricky one . Cost of a wedding breakfast differs according to the day you pick, the meal, the band. Had a wedding up in Louth recently and the couple were paying for it themselves. It worked out at€95 per head and then the band cost €2900. There were 110 people at it. So just for argument sake if everyone gave €100, they would have lost money on their big day, which they did anyway.
Personally I wouldn't attend 3 weddings in 3 weeks as I couldn't afford it. The ones I will go to will get€150 as I'm a single printer."
Why shouldn't they lose money on the day?
Are people only being invited to weddings now to make up numbers so they can have a free day out?
Surely this has gone beyond a joke now and it's influenced by influencers?
Someone on social media at some stage thought this was a good idea and it has grown legs.
It's right up there with the stupidest shite I've read on here but if people are dumb enough to go along with it then rock on.
Pay for your own wedding you tight bastards. |
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"It's a tricky one . Cost of a wedding breakfast differs according to the day you pick, the meal, the band. Had a wedding up in Louth recently and the couple were paying for it themselves. It worked out at€95 per head and then the band cost €2900. There were 110 people at it. So just for argument sake if everyone gave €100, they would have lost money on their big day, which they did anyway.
Personally I wouldn't attend 3 weddings in 3 weeks as I couldn't afford it. The ones I will go to will get€150 as I'm a single printer.
Why shouldn't they lose money on the day?
Are people only being invited to weddings now to make up numbers so they can have a free day out?
Surely this has gone beyond a joke now and it's influenced by influencers?
Someone on social media at some stage thought this was a good idea and it has grown legs.
It's right up there with the stupidest shite I've read on here but if people are dumb enough to go along with it then rock on.
Pay for your own wedding you tight bastards. "
You old romantic, you!  |
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By *og-ManMan 30 weeks ago
somewhere |
Wedding in Hotel last month
I didnt go but 2 of my family did
I dropped them to hotel at 12 noon and collected them exactly 24 hrs later
The cost that I know of including hotel accommodation / wedding gift/ preparation/ new outfits would have paid for a family holiday for a week abroad
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I agree with RB and Jaffa,some cant get venues big and expensive enough for their weddings which rarely last one day now ,most lately have been 2 and even 3 day weddings .I think its very selfish of couples putting pressure on family and friends to attend these events with the high costs and then give a card with cash to "Cover the meals ".
If its close family ,we put what we can afford ,anyone else weddings we decline the offer to attend ! |
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"It's a tricky one . Cost of a wedding breakfast differs according to the day you pick, the meal, the band. Had a wedding up in Louth recently and the couple were paying for it themselves. It worked out at€95 per head and then the band cost €2900. There were 110 people at it. So just for argument sake if everyone gave €100, they would have lost money on their big day, which they did anyway.
Personally I wouldn't attend 3 weddings in 3 weeks as I couldn't afford it. The ones I will go to will get€150 as I'm a single printer.
Why shouldn't they lose money on the day?
Are people only being invited to weddings now to make up numbers so they can have a free day out?
Surely this has gone beyond a joke now and it's influenced by influencers?
Someone on social media at some stage thought this was a good idea and it has grown legs.
It's right up there with the stupidest shite I've read on here but if people are dumb enough to go along with it then rock on.
Pay for your own wedding you tight bastards. "
Unfortunately it's the way it has gone recently. There are weddings with 350 + every weekend in the big hotels. Most have to be booked at least a year to 18 months in advance.
The best wedding I have been at recently was in Rome. The whole wedding party was 40 people. The couple insisted that there was no presents because people had made the effort to travel. |
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"It's a tricky one . Cost of a wedding breakfast differs according to the day you pick, the meal, the band. Had a wedding up in Louth recently and the couple were paying for it themselves. It worked out at€95 per head and then the band cost €2900. There were 110 people at it. So just for argument sake if everyone gave €100, they would have lost money on their big day, which they did anyway.
Personally I wouldn't attend 3 weddings in 3 weeks as I couldn't afford it. The ones I will go to will get€150 as I'm a single printer.
Why shouldn't they lose money on the day?
Are people only being invited to weddings now to make up numbers so they can have a free day out?
Surely this has gone beyond a joke now and it's influenced by influencers?
Someone on social media at some stage thought this was a good idea and it has grown legs.
It's right up there with the stupidest shite I've read on here but if people are dumb enough to go along with it then rock on.
Pay for your own wedding you tight bastards.
You old romantic, you! "
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Ours cost a lot. But we didn't give one fuck about what people gave. They made the effort to show up for us, they'd spent alot on the day and chose to take time out of their lives to come celebrate with us. That means more than money.
If we couldnt afford to pay for it then we would have went a different route.
We've been to some standard package weddings that are good value for the couple and probably not so different to ours.
One or two of them you just knew the couple were looking to have it paid for by guests or even make some $ on it which is just totally wrong in our eyes.
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By (user no longer on site) 30 weeks ago
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"Is it frowned upping nowadays to approach your divorced friends and ask for your present back? And then want to say 'I tried to warn ya' once they do?...  "
No, fire ahead. Let us know how it goes for you |
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By *runchMan 30 weeks ago
Dublin |
"Has anyone been invited to a wedding cause the people wanted them at the wedding then no?
"
Based on the responses so far it would appear not - couples plan weddings with the intention of draining family/friends' bank accounts.
The "expectation" being parroted throughout this thread is self imposed - no one is telling anyone to contribute some of the sums that have been mentioned.
Anyone who feels strongly against making a contribution towards a nice day with friends/family, decline the invite and sit at home. The wedding will still proceed, with or without you. |
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Well as a now extremely experienced wedding attendee lol 😂 now none this past year for about 10/15 years it’s been on average 8 a year one year I’d 18 thank goodness all mates and family and cousins are all married but 200euro is now the going rate |
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By *iSi74Man 29 weeks ago
Drogheda, Meath, Dublin |
"On that note, I'm a groomsman for a wedding and have no idea what little to put in a card. It's a madness. €300 to €500 is what I'm thinking is that mad?
Sorry mate….think I’d have to go with the 500 "
Feck that |
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By *dfabMan 29 weeks ago
Dunboyne |
I'd never give more than €100 for any wedding/ christening/ birthday/ whatever.
We had small wedding and a party afterwards. Told everyone gifts were not necessary as it was just a party. Of course there was lots of envelopes and gifts regardless but I have no idea how much because I didn't care about it. We did it the way we could afford it and we covered the cost, so we really enjoyed it and that's all we cared about.
We never even discussed who gave what, as the important thing to us was our friends were there to celebrate with us.
Wife probably has a nice stash of "running away" money though |
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