FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Response to, "I saw you in real life..."?
Response to, "I saw you in real life..."?
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"I ignore any messages like that. I find them creepy as fuck! I don’t know why people think it’s ok to let you know they spotted you going about your daily business. Are you supposed to fuck them because they’ve seen you in person? All it tells me is that discretion isn’t their strong point. " Yeeeeah that's sometimes my knee jerk reaction but my wife says she's only put off if we're approached (which has never happened). It does feel like we're supposed to grant them some sort of reward 
But that may be in part from being defensively conditioned from the years long onslaught of (sometimes creepy) male attention | |||
"It's no big deal, this is not a secret society.... For me anyway. " Good point - Mrs agrees with you.. she just doesn't want to be approached  | |||
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I don't think it's ok to approach as you never know someone's circumstances and it could raise awkward questions. I guess having facepics on the profile makes it much more likely to happen.
The weird bit is if someone thinks spotting you is some kind of an "in". Just because you're out doing your daily normal tasks doesn't mean someone is more likely to get a fuck off you | |||
"Wonder Where's the worst place possible for someone to say it to you "In mass!?! At a christening maybe | |||
"Wonder Where's the worst place possible for someone to say it to you
In mass!?! At a christening maybe "Funeral even | |||
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"I can conceive of being told, "I recognise you", in public, under both ok and not ok circumstances. If someone strikes up polite conversation with no demands and by the by mentions it, fair enough. If someone is demanding or coercive about it, then that could get my back up. After all, there's no secret masonic handshake etc about fab..........or is there? And I am still not in.....shite...." You have to have an upside down pineapple chained around your neck at all times. When approached by another fabber, you must reveal either your phallus and/or breasts and proceed to "helicopter" till the other fabber either bows and accepts matehood | |||
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"I ignore any messages like that. I find them creepy as fuck! I don’t know why people think it’s ok to let you know they spotted you going about your daily business. Are you supposed to fuck them because they’ve seen you in person? All it tells me is that discretion isn’t their strong point. " I’m with you on this one, in every instance I’ve had this said to me in any variation it’s been sent to my own profile. Most recent was a couple with a brand new profile who claimed to live down the road from me. They had the audacity to tell me, if they were right I had to play with them. They disappeared and then messaged me 2 weeks later like they’d never messaged me before- creepy AF. It’s usually guys who seem to think “ I saw you earlier “ is some sort of nice conversation starter. Think I prefer “hey x “ or “u free “ and I have strong feelings on those messages
Ella | |||
But seriously, how many of these messages are people just taking a punt. They’ve no idea who or where you are but send the message in the hope of a response.
Still doesn’t make it ok by any means. | |||
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Also recognised a bunch of people but would never approach anyone I don't know well. Even if I do know them I would be wary of approaching, especially if they are around people I don't know. A simple nod/smile while passing  | |||
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If you see someone you fancy but are not sure what to say to introduce yourself then I think its valid enough. | |||
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"The difference in most women’s reaction to it v most mens reaction to it is interesting! " Isn't it just | |||
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"The difference in most women’s reaction to it v most mens reaction to it is interesting! " Why do you think that is? Is it a throwback to good old Catholic Ireland ? | |||
"The difference in most women’s reaction to it v most mens reaction to it is interesting! Why do you think that is? Is it a throwback to good old Catholic Ireland ?" No, it's about safety and respecting privacy | |||
"The difference in most women’s reaction to it v most mens reaction to it is interesting! Why do you think that is? Is it a throwback to good old Catholic Ireland ?" More to do with women's fear of men in many cases I would think. Who needs the prospect of a local pitching up some night thinking you're up for it? Fab is awash with people with zero respect for boundaries. | |||
"The difference in most women’s reaction to it v most mens reaction to it is interesting! Why do you think that is? Is it a throwback to good old Catholic Ireland ?" No, it’s the fact that most men don’t know that feeling of being very vulnerable and don’t realise the vulnerable position that women who enjoy casual sex put themselves in. That’s why we’re cautious, cynical and have a fine tuned creepometer. | |||
"The difference in most women’s reaction to it v most mens reaction to it is interesting! " all the news reports of women getting beaten up or murdered by men might have something to do with that | |||
"The difference in most women’s reaction to it v most mens reaction to it is interesting! Why do you think that is? Is it a throwback to good old Catholic Ireland ? No, it’s the fact that most men don’t know that feeling of being very vulnerable and don’t realise the vulnerable position that women who enjoy casual sex put themselves in. That’s why we’re cautious, cynical and have a fine tuned creepometer. " Back in the kitchen with ya. Sandwiches don't make themselves | |||
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"Being spotted when you have public face pics is one thing (I still don’t think it’s ok for a stranger to message and say saw ya buying 2 ply toilet roll, would ya not have gone for 3 ply?) It’s a different thing when you have no face pics up, you’ve never chatted to the guy or met him and you get a message giving you details about where you were spotted. It’s extremely unnerving, you end up wondering about every man who gives you a second glance in a shop and you just hope to fuck that none of them are stupid enough to say hi Jaffa in a public place or when you’re with a friend/family. That’s why I have a policy of not responding to those messages so that you’re not confirming that it was you. I also won’t respond to someone calling me Jaffa unless it’s at a social. " Well said and thanks as always for your contributions Jaffa.. My main take away is.. Your real name ISN'T Jaffa??  | |||
"Being spotted when you have public face pics is one thing (I still don’t think it’s ok for a stranger to message and say saw ya buying 2 ply toilet roll, would ya not have gone for 3 ply?) It’s a different thing when you have no face pics up, you’ve never chatted to the guy or met him and you get a message giving you details about where you were spotted. It’s extremely unnerving, you end up wondering about every man who gives you a second glance in a shop and you just hope to fuck that none of them are stupid enough to say hi Jaffa in a public place or when you’re with a friend/family. That’s why I have a policy of not responding to those messages so that you’re not confirming that it was you. I also won’t respond to someone calling me Jaffa unless it’s at a social. " That's dreadful... And not the first time I've heard that happen @jaffa Seems to turn men on to have that knowledge | |||
"We get this one a fair bit (we're kinda easy to spot) I (Mr) never know what to say to that.. e.g., "oook..? And?" Mrs thinks I'm being a bit awkward- she says it's a valid conversation starter. What do you all think? "The fact that ypu have face pics up makes it easier for people to spot you out and about having said that sending a mail telling you where you shop is out of the way Someone you are chatting to or know saying they passed you in tesco isnt as problem But as jaffa says sending unsolicated mail to a female saying you spotted them in Tesco isnt on. Firstly a woman that hasn't face pics in public is going to wonder where you got her pic from and then the fear kicks in did you follow them home thats the thin end of the wedge theres so many more questions to be run through her head If I see someone I know from the coumunity I think an nod of the head is more than enough, if you know them well enough maybe a message to say you saw them but weren't in a position to say hi or wasnt sure if they were on their own. | |||
"We get this one a fair bit (we're kinda easy to spot) I (Mr) never know what to say to that.. e.g., "oook..? And?" Mrs thinks I'm being a bit awkward- she says it's a valid conversation starter. What do you all think?
The fact that ypu have face pics up makes it easier for people to spot you out and about having said that sending a mail telling you where you shop is out of the way
Someone you are chatting to or know saying they passed you in tesco isnt as problem
But as jaffa says sending unsolicated mail to a female saying you spotted them in Tesco isnt on. Firstly a woman that hasn't face pics in public is going to wonder where you got her pic from and then the fear kicks in did you follow them home thats the thin end of the wedge theres so many more questions to be run through her head
If I see someone I know from the coumunity I think an nod of the head is more than enough, if you know them well enough maybe a message to say you saw them but weren't in a position to say hi or wasnt sure if they were on their own. "Are you saying that we're inviting this type of behavior by having public face pics? | |||
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" You have to have an upside down pineapple chained around your neck at all times. When approached by another fabber, you must reveal either your phallus and/or breasts and proceed to "helicopter" till the other fabber either bows and accepts matehood" This image made me laugh But no, being acknowledged or approached as Rubs while out doing my own thing is a firm 'fuck off', as are creepy messages saying hey I saw you blah blah blah. It's not cool, it's creepy. I've seen a few people I know, but off-site a polite nod from a distance is enough. | |||
"We get this one a fair bit (we're kinda easy to spot) I (Mr) never know what to say to that.. e.g., "oook..? And?" Mrs thinks I'm being a bit awkward- she says it's a valid conversation starter. What do you all think?
The fact that ypu have face pics up makes it easier for people to spot you out and about having said that sending a mail telling you where you shop is out of the way
Someone you are chatting to or know saying they passed you in tesco isnt as problem
But as jaffa says sending unsolicated mail to a female saying you spotted them in Tesco isnt on. Firstly a woman that hasn't face pics in public is going to wonder where you got her pic from and then the fear kicks in did you follow them home thats the thin end of the wedge theres so many more questions to be run through her head
If I see someone I know from the coumunity I think an nod of the head is more than enough, if you know them well enough maybe a message to say you saw them but weren't in a position to say hi or wasnt sure if they were on their own.
Are you saying that we're inviting this type of behavior by having public face pics? "Hell no but I being here long enough to know some people have no idea about other peoples privacy | |||
"Being spotted when you have public face pics is one thing (I still don’t think it’s ok for a stranger to message and say saw ya buying 2 ply toilet roll, would ya not have gone for 3 ply?) It’s a different thing when you have no face pics up, you’ve never chatted to the guy or met him and you get a message giving you details about where you were spotted. It’s extremely unnerving, you end up wondering about every man who gives you a second glance in a shop and you just hope to fuck that none of them are stupid enough to say hi Jaffa in a public place or when you’re with a friend/family. That’s why I have a policy of not responding to those messages so that you’re not confirming that it was you. I also won’t respond to someone calling me Jaffa unless it’s at a social. Well said and thanks as always for your contributions Jaffa.. My main take away is.. Your real name ISN'T Jaffa?? "It’s my confirmation name | |||
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"We get this one a fair bit (we're kinda easy to spot) I (Mr) never know what to say to that.. e.g., "oook..? And?" Mrs thinks I'm being a bit awkward- she says it's a valid conversation starter. What do you all think?
The fact that ypu have face pics up makes it easier for people to spot you out and about having said that sending a mail telling you where you shop is out of the way
Someone you are chatting to or know saying they passed you in tesco isnt as problem
But as jaffa says sending unsolicated mail to a female saying you spotted them in Tesco isnt on. Firstly a woman that hasn't face pics in public is going to wonder where you got her pic from and then the fear kicks in did you follow them home thats the thin end of the wedge theres so many more questions to be run through her head
If I see someone I know from the coumunity I think an nod of the head is more than enough, if you know them well enough maybe a message to say you saw them but weren't in a position to say hi or wasnt sure if they were on their own.
Are you saying that we're inviting this type of behavior by having public face pics?
Hell no but I being here long enough to know some people have no idea about other peoples privacy "Oh so have we my friend 
We obviously know we're easy to spot (especially Mrs) and we try to exude a friendly persona here but I don't think that excuses potentially creepy attention. That reminds me of the "she was asking for it because of what she was wearing" argument.
That being said.. it's interesting how varied the responses are here. We don't think the type of message in question is necessarily creepy and overstepping but it can easily be perceived as such if you take just a moment to think about it.
Which is where I'm at when I receive these types of messages - Mrs. thinks they're benign but I'm more protective and cautious so I often assume ill intent (because you really never can tell) so I'm more inclined to ignore them.
Being spotted is inevitable- giving a guy a ride solely because he happened to see us in the shop is ridiculous in my opinion | |||
"Ive had people say hello to me in work that Ive met at socials...its always a quick look around from them to make sure its fine to talk to me first. If I saw someone that I'd met previously at a social and we happen to catch each others eye then a little nod is fine if they're alone Just as another point of view In my see who's near at the moment ( Im out ) I have 2 men , both taxi drivers and both offering to come to an arrangement over the taxi fare if any woman is interested " Yeah Bog I think it's a bit different when it's people you've seen at socials. The majority of guys who send us messages like that have 0 verifications and activity on the scene. Just chancing | |||
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"Why? "Few ladies have said what a fab day in passing by , it’s cool with me , it could be just coincidence | |||
"Wonder Where's the worst place possible for someone to say it to you "At the GUM clinic. Happens me all the time | |||
"Wonder Where's the worst place possible for someone to say it to you
In mass!?! At a christening maybe
Funeral even "Try Christmas midnight mass 
Was funny tho and I'd known him from before fab | |||
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"I find it off putting if the only message I've ever received is that. Like whoop de doo you saw me, well done, still won't shag you" Haaa yep that's often my first thought | |||
"Why? Few ladies have said what a fab day in passing by , it’s cool with me , it could be just coincidence "The "why" was in response to the text wall of Queen lyrics (which I'm obviously not going to reply+quote). Genuinely don't understand what people are thinking when they post things like that | |||
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"I find it off putting if the only message I've ever received is that. Like whoop de doo you saw me, well done, still won't shag you" I've never met you but one of your face photos on public reminds me of a woman that reviews cruise ships of all things She pops up on my FB page everyday so if I ever see you in real life I'm more likely to ask for advice on a round the world cruise | |||
"I ignore any messages like that. I find them creepy as fuck! I don’t know why people think it’s ok to let you know they spotted you going about your daily business. Are you supposed to fuck them because they’ve seen you in person? All it tells me is that discretion isn’t their strong point." ?? | |||
"I find it off putting if the only message I've ever received is that. Like whoop de doo you saw me, well done, still won't shag you I've never met you but one of your face photos on public reminds me of a woman that reviews cruise ships of all things She pops up on my FB page everyday so if I ever see you in real life I'm more likely to ask for advice on a round the world cruise " definitely not us. | |||
"We get this one a fair bit (we're kinda easy to spot) I (Mr) never know what to say to that.. e.g., "oook..? And?" Mrs thinks I'm being a bit awkward- she says it's a valid conversation starter. What do you all think? "See cause you have your faces on this not creepy. But if anybody done that to us then it would be. Guess it all depends on how much of yourself you show of how you would react to this. | |||
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"It hasn't been said to me yet, I would go mad if somebody came up to me, especially if I hadn't met them before!" I think it would be out of order to say hello, it’s our privacy that’s paramount | |||
"We get this one a fair bit (we're kinda easy to spot) I (Mr) never know what to say to that.. e.g., "oook..? And?" Mrs thinks I'm being a bit awkward- she says it's a valid conversation starter. What do you all think?
See cause you have your faces on this not creepy.
But if anybody done that to us then it would be.
Guess it all depends on how much of yourself you show of how you would react to this. "Sorry- don't quite agree with this logic. We're talking about the act of mentioning the observation, not the probability of the observation itself. Of course being spotted is much more likely the more you show. In our case, it's an inevitability that we're well aware of and obviously have no issue with, otherwise we'd hide ourselves. But our public persona doesn't necessarily warrant being told that we've been spotted. To clarify what I originally said- I'm not complaining about the fact that it happens.. I just often don't know how to respond as it's not a valid opener for fucking my wife in my opinion. | |||
"We get this one a fair bit (we're kinda easy to spot) I (Mr) never know what to say to that.. e.g., "oook..? And?" Mrs thinks I'm being a bit awkward- she says it's a valid conversation starter. What do you all think?
See cause you have your faces on this not creepy.
But if anybody done that to us then it would be.
Guess it all depends on how much of yourself you show of how you would react to this.
Sorry- don't quite agree with this logic. We're talking about the act of mentioning the observation, not the probability of the observation itself.
Of course being spotted is much more likely the more you show. In our case, it's an inevitability that we're well aware of and obviously have no issue with, otherwise we'd hide ourselves.
But our public persona doesn't necessarily warrant being told that we've been spotted.
To clarify what I originally said- I'm not complaining about the fact that it happens.. I just often don't know how to respond as it's not a valid opener for fucking my wife in my opinion."Was just going to say this.. just because you choose to show your faces doesn't give others the right to address you in public, as if you should expect it. | |||
"We get this one a fair bit (we're kinda easy to spot) I (Mr) never know what to say to that.. e.g., "oook..? And?" Mrs thinks I'm being a bit awkward- she says it's a valid conversation starter. What do you all think?
See cause you have your faces on this not creepy.
But if anybody done that to us then it would be.
Guess it all depends on how much of yourself you show of how you would react to this.
Sorry- don't quite agree with this logic. We're talking about the act of mentioning the observation, not the probability of the observation itself.
Of course being spotted is much more likely the more you show. In our case, it's an inevitability that we're well aware of and obviously have no issue with, otherwise we'd hide ourselves.
But our public persona doesn't necessarily warrant being told that we've been spotted.
To clarify what I originally said- I'm not complaining about the fact that it happens.. I just often don't know how to respond as it's not a valid opener for fucking my wife in my opinion.
Was just going to say this.. just because you choose to show your faces doesn't give others the right to address you in public, as if you should expect it."Agreed. I don't think I would even go up to someone I had met if I bumped into them in the street. Private life is separate to fab life. | |||
"We get this one a fair bit (we're kinda easy to spot) I (Mr) never know what to say to that.. e.g., "oook..? And?" Mrs thinks I'm being a bit awkward- she says it's a valid conversation starter. What do you all think?
See cause you have your faces on this not creepy.
But if anybody done that to us then it would be.
Guess it all depends on how much of yourself you show of how you would react to this.
Sorry- don't quite agree with this logic. We're talking about the act of mentioning the observation, not the probability of the observation itself.
Of course being spotted is much more likely the more you show. In our case, it's an inevitability that we're well aware of and obviously have no issue with, otherwise we'd hide ourselves.
But our public persona doesn't necessarily warrant being told that we've been spotted.
To clarify what I originally said- I'm not complaining about the fact that it happens.. I just often don't know how to respond as it's not a valid opener for fucking my wife in my opinion.
Was just going to say this.. just because you choose to show your faces doesn't give others the right to address you in public, as if you should expect it.
Agreed. I don't think I would even go up to someone I had met if I bumped into them in the street.
Private life is separate to fab life."Thanks y'all - we've actually never been approached in real life (though we've seen a few people ourselves as well).. we only get guys messaging us about it.. and almost always guys who refuse to share anything about themselves | |||
"We get this one a fair bit (we're kinda easy to spot) I (Mr) never know what to say to that.. e.g., "oook..? And?" Mrs thinks I'm being a bit awkward- she says it's a valid conversation starter. What do you all think?
See cause you have your faces on this not creepy.
But if anybody done that to us then it would be.
Guess it all depends on how much of yourself you show of how you would react to this.
Sorry- don't quite agree with this logic. We're talking about the act of mentioning the observation, not the probability of the observation itself.
Of course being spotted is much more likely the more you show. In our case, it's an inevitability that we're well aware of and obviously have no issue with, otherwise we'd hide ourselves.
But our public persona doesn't necessarily warrant being told that we've been spotted.
To clarify what I originally said- I'm not complaining about the fact that it happens.. I just often don't know how to respond as it's not a valid opener for fucking my wife in my opinion.
Was just going to say this.. just because you choose to show your faces doesn't give others the right to address you in public, as if you should expect it.
Agreed. I don't think I would even go up to someone I had met if I bumped into them in the street.
Private life is separate to fab life.
Thanks y'all - we've actually never been approached in real life (though we've seen a few people ourselves as well).. we only get guys messaging us about it.. and almost always guys who refuse to share anything about themselves "They think they have one up on ye. But really they are sad and childish | |||
"Wonder Where's the worst place possible for someone to say it to you "In Mass | |||
"Wonder Where's the worst place possible for someone to say it to you
In Mass "The observation is cool and exciting, and chances of fucking someone’s wife by saying hi gorgeous, I think a cow flew over the moon lol | |||
"Wonder Where's the worst place possible for someone to say it to you
In mass!?! At a christening maybe
Funeral even
Try Christmas midnight mass
Was funny tho and I'd known him from before fab "Bless me Father | |||
"Wonder Where's the worst place possible for someone to say it to you
In mass!?! At a christening maybe
Funeral even
Try Christmas midnight mass
Was funny tho and I'd known him from before fab
Bless me Father "I guess the confesional would be strange.... | |||
