FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Virgin that doesn't know what to do
Virgin that doesn't know what to do
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By (user no longer on site) OP 32 weeks ago
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Hey how's it going everyone? I'm new to this kind of scene and to be honest I don't know what I'm doing at all. I'm still a virgin at 21 years of age and very soon going to be 22 years old. I've never had my first kiss, never grabbed a tit, in general I don't know how to talk to women, I just freeze up. The only sexual act I've ever had is just being on the hand pump. It's getting sad now at this stage and it's starting to affect me. I joined here to meet people and hopefully at some stage all things going well to have sex. So far it's not happening. I'm just wondering is there anyone out there that can give me some advice, like how to open up a conversation on here, what to put on my profile to make it look more attractive and what not to put on it. Things like that. Any advice or help would be really appreciated. |
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Can I sugfest:
Go to socials,
Flirt online,
Observe the profiles that hit the hot pics, observe what do most people want?
Go on the hols and try out the beaches and clubs.
Be your number 1, focus on what makes you feel good and healthy and happy. It ll happen, in good time. |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"I'm just trying to get other peoples opinions too, that's all. I only just seen that forums are on here so I thought I would give it a go"
No worries hope you hear what you want so |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 32 weeks ago
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Yeah I was looking at going to socials but any I've seen you need to be meet verified which I'm not.
I genuinely don't know how to flirt, it's hilarious.
Hopefully I can get away on a holiday this year but if I approach women I freeze up, it's happened multiple times this year.
Thanks for your response, I appreciate it. |
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I'd advise getting out and about in the real world and doing all the things suggested above...relax, enjoy life, see places, do things, be with people, and it'll happen eventually. I wouldn't hold out too much hope from Fab. Oh, and please when you're eventually presented with a tit, please do something a little more sensual with it than grabbing it 
Good luck |
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This is something I really like the idea of. An inexperienced guy using fab to have his first sexual experiences. It seems pretty healthy and proactive. I hope you find what you're looking for. Who knows there might be some girl here who will take a chance here and give you a shot. There may well be someone for whom this is a fantasy, so it can tick both your boxes. |
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Don't worry, my first time was around your age, just happenstance...
Be respectful, be yourself, don't over react, don't give into letting your frustration hurt other people.
Difficult, been there, have t-shirts. Be a bit bold, bit cheeky, if it does not work out, it's probably for a good reason. Better find someone to click with then be a charity case. |
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"Hey how's it going everyone? I'm new to this kind of scene and to be honest I don't know what I'm doing at all. I'm still a virgin at 21 years of age and very soon going to be 22 years old. I've never had my first kiss, never grabbed a tit, in general I don't know how to talk to women, I just freeze up. The only sexual act I've ever had is just being on the hand pump. It's getting sad now at this stage and it's starting to affect me. I joined here to meet people and hopefully at some stage all things going well to have sex. So far it's not happening. I'm just wondering is there anyone out there that can give me some advice, like how to open up a conversation on here, what to put on my profile to make it look more attractive and what not to put on it. Things like that. Any advice or help would be really appreciated."
not sure if you should start of swinging if your virgin need get bit experience  |
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Your age isn't too much of an issue, it's pretty common..
But I want to level with you. This is not an easy place to get sex.
There are about 100 single men per single women. Most single men who join here end up moving up on the site.
I often tell people, if you struggle to get anyone to meet you for a coffee on the dating apps, you're unlikely to fair better here. The same logistics apply. You need to be someone who people enjoy being around. Saying you freeze up just talking to women is going to be a huge issue. Because the people we want to be around are the ones who are easy to talk to.
The best advice I can give you is to start making more friends get involved in clubs, meetups or organizations where you get to know a lot more people. You need to be able to talk to men and women alike like normal people. And getting to know more people in general is a skill that would be required to do well here.
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"Your age isn't too much of an issue, it's pretty common..
But I want to level with you. This is not an easy place to get sex.
There are about 100 single men per single women. Most single men who join here end up moving up on the site.
I often tell people, if you struggle to get anyone to meet you for a coffee on the dating apps, you're unlikely to fair better here. The same logistics apply. You need to be someone who people enjoy being around. Saying you freeze up just talking to women is going to be a huge issue. Because the people we want to be around are the ones who are easy to talk to.
The best advice I can give you is to start making more friends get involved in clubs, meetups or organizations where you get to know a lot more people. You need to be able to talk to men and women alike like normal people. And getting to know more people in general is a skill that would be required to do well here.
"
100% agree with this. Join a club and you'll meet people with similar interests, hobbies etc. Fab can be daunting at the best of times. If your heart is set on Fab get to the Dv8 Sunday social or similar |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 32 weeks ago
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I don't want to be freezing up at all, anytime it's happened I've gotten really depressed and annoyed afterwards, it happened again 2 weeks ago and I've just been in a hole since.
All my friends are male, the only hobby I have is playing 5 a side twice a week. I usually just spend time by myself.
Some of the things that have just happened recently I'm on the verge of just giving up and focusing on work. |
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Fab is an object lesson in handling rejection. There's just too many guys and too many variables to guarantee anything but the fact that meeting people based purely on a profile and a message can be really difficult.
Just bear in mind that it isn't a reflection on you as a person. It's just a profile and a message.
Easy come easy go.
There is a community spirit on fab and it's easy to join that just by being present on the forum and joining in threads and playing the silly games. People can get to know you that way.
It's best to manage expectations and enjoy shooting the shit and maybe when you get in the swing of things an opportunity might pop up.
Age range is a thing.
Most people aren't looking for Padawan.
Best of luck OP
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By *aseylee324Couple 32 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
"Your age isn't too much of an issue, it's pretty common..
But I want to level with you. This is not an easy place to get sex.
There are about 100 single men per single women. Most single men who join here end up moving up on the site.
I often tell people, if you struggle to get anyone to meet you for a coffee on the dating apps, you're unlikely to fair better here. The same logistics apply. You need to be someone who people enjoy being around. Saying you freeze up just talking to women is going to be a huge issue. Because the people we want to be around are the ones who are easy to talk to.
The best advice I can give you is to start making more friends get involved in clubs, meetups or organizations where you get to know a lot more people. You need to be able to talk to men and women alike like normal people. And getting to know more people in general is a skill that would be required to do well here.
"
Also agree, women are just people, you need people skills in general to have "game". Fab is not the best place for someone without confidence dealing with the opposite sex. |
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By *om TangoMan 32 weeks ago
aughnacloy monaghan area |
Don’t know anything about you young man. Keep building confidence in yourself and you will get there. Walk with your head up and try to smile at the odd person and a simple hello how are you today will slowly build your confidence. If you’re walking around looking at the ground not saying hello or greeting others you won’t give off good energy. Start tomorrow when you go into your local shop. Just greet someone rather it’s a hello or a smile. Once you get a few hello’s and smiles back your confidence will start to build up. I’m 47 and can still freeze up the odd time as I think most of us here do. |
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Luke, fair play to you for your honesty. Welcome to Fab. It can be brilliant and it can be beastly, so mind yourself.
I know a good few fellas on here who were once like yourself; shy, inexperienced, lacking confidence. So maybe Fab is a good place to practice, but be patient and know your own boundaries. Don't let anyone f*CK with your head  |
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"OP why don’t you take a Jim Conlon approach?
Ask women for a shift or a ride"
I tried that when younger - my ear is still ringing from the clatter haha.
Just be engaging here. Have some fun. The meet side of things for a man can be tough as we’re well outnumbered here but try n go to socials etc.
If you’re single. T I n d e r is way more fruitful
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Hey Luke, My advice is just be patient respectful and you will meet someone. Don't put yourself under too much pressure. Even when you are out in the real world I know Waterford is a friendly place just say hello to people to practice getting over your shyness most will say it back and if they don't it's their issue not yours.
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By *affa31Woman 32 weeks ago
Galway |
I was very inexperienced when I joined a similar site to here at 21. I was shy, zero self confidence and wasn’t big into going out so found it very hard to meet people.
Chatting and flirting with people online helped me build that confidence and learn to chat away with people from all different backgrounds. It did wonders for my confidence.
It is harder for a guy than a girl around here so don’t get disheartened. Get involved in the forum games, chat away to people on here and your confidence will grow.
Try to get to an afternoon/evening social as they’re very low pressure and the host will introduce you to people. You’d be more than welcome at my next coffee social (I forgot to check your location but I usually do them in Limerick and Dublin).
Mind yourself and if you want any advice, reach out to some of us x |
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By *ACOLCouple 32 weeks ago
limerick |
Jaffas socials would definitely help!!! the people that attend are lovely, chilled and very respectful and most of us are new as well, so we can all feel awkward together.
Jaffa does a great work at making you feel welcome. |
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By *affa31Woman 32 weeks ago
Galway |
"Thank you so much for your response, I really appreciate it. I need to find a social that I can go to where it doesn't requite to be meet verified."
Most of the afternoon socials don’t require you to be verified  |
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"Thank you so much for your response, I really appreciate it. I need to find a social that I can go to where it doesn't requite to be meet verified.
Most of the afternoon socials don’t require you to be verified "
Plus they're the best way to get your first veri as they're small enough that you can feel comfortable and the host (like Jaffa!) will make sure you don't feel left out.
Maybe chat on the Forums also if you enjoy it, build rapport with people online and you'll feel more confident to meet them in person when you feel ready.
I'm seeing good people skills in your comments so far, the only thing you may need to work on is your confidence which will come in time.
We're on the scene since 2019 and I still get so nervous before meeting people. We are all the same.
Best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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You just need to get onto some of the dating apps and chat to women. Even if you can't bring yourself to meet someone in fear of not been able to talk to them etc, then just get on there and chat through message, build up your confidence there. Try some flirting on there and see how it goes, it can be a trial and error sort of approach if you wish. Get out more and just meet people in a friendly environment and don't worry about flirting in public until you feel more comfortable in yourself first.. you'll get there mate. |
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By *affa31Woman 32 weeks ago
Galway |
"
We're on the scene since 2019 and I still get so nervous before meeting people. We are all the same.
"
This is a very good point. The majority of us still get nervous meeting new people. It’s just being able to ride that wave of nerves and embrace the initial awkwardness. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 32 weeks ago
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Girls I know I do struggle at times, it depends on the day. Somedays I can actually have a conversation with them and other days its like my mind doesn't know how to communicate with them at all.
Strangers in general I find hard, but I'm getting better at it, I think |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 32 weeks ago
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I've been on the dating apps but it's not going well at all. Don't get very many matches and when I do it goes tits in some way. The other day a girl only matched with me to try and get me to buy her online content. |
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"
We're on the scene since 2019 and I still get so nervous before meeting people. We are all the same.
This is a very good point. The majority of us still get nervous meeting new people. It’s just being able to ride that wave of nerves and embrace the initial awkwardness. "
Feel the fear and do it anyway! |
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By *rRiosMan 32 weeks ago
dublin |
"Girls I know I do struggle at times, it depends on the day. Somedays I can actually have a conversation with them and other days its like my mind doesn't know how to communicate with them at all.
Strangers in general I find hard, but I'm getting better at it, I think"
My advice is to just start talking to people. Get comfortable there. Don’t think of it as flirting. Coffee social could be a good idea too! Best of luck with it |
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"If I (Mr) were a virgin at your age I would probably go to a professional "masseuse".
This is a swinging site where the vast majority will be sexually experienced, learn to walk before you run."
"Masseuse" really do you think that is ok? As a masseur who knows a lot of other massage therapists like me would be offended by the fact you seem to think masseuse is just another name for what you are trying to implying. |
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