FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Am I right or wrong.
Am I right or wrong.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 34 weeks ago
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I recently met up with someone from here for a chat while I was in there area, they were absolutely lovely to chat to and she said she would like to meet me on Thursday, well Thursday has come and past and any attempt Ive made to contact her was ignored even when seeing her online. Anyways my question is, she was asking for folk to verify her and after meeting just to say hello I was going to but seeing as since then she totally blanked me so Ive decided not to leave a verification. What would others do in this situation. Cheers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 34 weeks ago
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"I wouldn't leave a verification and would probably block her, but that action would only be to ensure no further contact either way. No point if this is how she behaves."
see that's it, she seemed genuine and nice and I know I'll have the people that will say oh she changed her mind ect, which is fine either way but the fact she just totally ignored me after telling me to message on the day. kinda goes against being genuine in my eyes. as for blocking her, I'd not block anyone without good reason but I don't think I can justify leaving her a verification even tho we met for a chat.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 34 weeks ago
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"No, I wouldn't verify her either. We're allowed to change our minds about meeting people but not bothering to inform them of it is just disrespectful."
I totally agree, just takes a second to write a message or that and I'd always reply to people ect but just the way she did it.... I'm not saying it's just me, but it's not fair on people in general. Appreciate your comment
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It's all swings (pun) and roundabouts!
Veri or it's a personal choice , people change their minds and maybe she will change it again , options for guys or girls is finite , personally I would limit my options but again it's a person by person choice ! Better luck in the future ! Just remember fab is one of those things that is a marathon not a sprint ! |
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I’m not entirely sure what this post is about
Why would you verify someone who pissed you about?
The whole point of verifications is to verify someone is genuine and worth the effort of contacting/meeting, this person is neither
You’re more or less giving your seal of approval to someone, who it seems was using you for a veri and ghosted you after |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 34 weeks ago
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"I hane to disagree. You said she was lovely. Veries are to prove they real your meet happened you chatted.
Maybe your reading too much into why she hasn't responded? "
nah she's been online almost constantly and this morning even updated her status ect, I know women get hundreds of messages on here ect but if someone said they were definitely gonna meet up and then ghost ya without a word or reply. Kinda makes them not genuine in my eyes. Again just my own opinion and everyone is different I know |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 34 weeks ago
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"It's all swings (pun) and roundabouts!
Veri or it's a personal choice , people change their minds and maybe she will change it again , options for guys or girls is finite , personally I would limit my options but again it's a person by person choice ! Better luck in the future ! Just remember fab is one of those things that is a marathon not a sprint ! "
that's it exactly.. I don't see here as a race at all, I try to reply to absolutely everyone as it's the nice thing to do regardless of if there's an interest or not. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 34 weeks ago
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"I’m not entirely sure what this post is about
Why would you verify someone who pissed you about?
The whole point of verifications is to verify someone is genuine and worth the effort of contacting/meeting, this person is neither
You’re more or less giving your seal of approval to someone, who it seems was using you for a veri and ghosted you after"
that's exactly what I was trying to say. You hit the nail on the head. If she just wanted to use me for a verification she could of just said and I'd of happily given one. I've no issues there, but it's how she went about it kinda just made me feel like, she doesn't deserve one from me anyways... And before folk start with the oh just upset you didn't get the ride, it was just a coffee and chat we were talking about meeting for |
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I'm not sure. Part of me says no but then again, without the arrangement to meet again on Thursday you'd have happily verified her so it's almost like withholding your verification because she wouldn't meet you again.
Without sounding mean, I doubt it will matter to her whether you do or not, so taking that into consideration I think I'd come down on the side of no. |
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By *ustBoWoman 34 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
A veri is only saying someone is who they claim to be. If you think you don't want to veri her then don't.
I really don't see the drama about it. You thought ye would meet again ye didn't.
You liked her when you met her but yet you decided now she didn't reply she isn't worth a veri,that's fine don't Veri her.
I'm often online and I don't even look at my inbox. I've also met people over the years and said we might meet again but didn't for several different reasons. It never stopped me giving someone a veri though.
Just do what you want and to be brutally honest I don't think she was using you just for a veri as most women on here can get one easily if they want one. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 34 weeks ago
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"I'm not sure. Part of me says no but then again, without the arrangement to meet again on Thursday you'd have happily verified her so it's almost like withholding your verification because she wouldn't meet you again.
Without sounding mean, I doubt it will matter to her whether you do or not, so taking that into consideration I think I'd come down on the side of no."
Ah not it's not like I'm withholding it because we didn't meet, I'm just saying they could of at least just sent something saying your not my type, something came up, or even ok I don't want to meet up..... My point is in the fact they just left me on unread, makes them not really genuine in my eyes. I've had plenty read and just delete my messages on here without even a reply which I'm fine with but if you arrange something, the least ya can do is tell the person if you change your mind for whatever reason it may be. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 34 weeks ago
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"A veri is only saying someone is who they claim to be. If you think you don't want to veri her then don't.
I really don't see the drama about it. You thought ye would meet again ye didn't.
You liked her when you met her but yet you decided now she didn't reply she isn't worth a veri,that's fine don't Veri her.
I'm often online and I don't even look at my inbox. I've also met people over the years and said we might meet again but didn't for several different reasons. It never stopped me giving someone a veri though.
Just do what you want and to be brutally honest I don't think she was using you just for a veri as most women on here can get one easily if they want one. "
I totally agree with you on women getting verifications if they want them.... That's not an issue and the ones I've actually verified Ive met and can say I'm genuine too... Again as stated in previous comment, I'd of hand no issues if someone reads and just delete a message without a word, you know there is no interest, but when you meet someone who says they definitely want to meet and then blank you and leave you on unread, yet post they are genuine ect, kinda contradicts itself I believe |
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By *ustBoWoman 34 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"A veri is only saying someone is who they claim to be. If you think you don't want to veri her then don't.
I really don't see the drama about it. You thought ye would meet again ye didn't.
You liked her when you met her but yet you decided now she didn't reply she isn't worth a veri,that's fine don't Veri her.
I'm often online and I don't even look at my inbox. I've also met people over the years and said we might meet again but didn't for several different reasons. It never stopped me giving someone a veri though.
Just do what you want and to be brutally honest I don't think she was using you just for a veri as most women on here can get one easily if they want one. I totally agree with you on women getting verifications if they want them.... That's not an issue and the ones I've actually verified Ive met and can say I'm genuine too... Again as stated in previous comment, I'd of hand no issues if someone reads and just delete a message without a word, you know there is no interest, but when you meet someone who says they definitely want to meet and then blank you and leave you on unread, yet post they are genuine ect, kinda contradicts itself I believe"
I suppose it depends on the reason why it's left unread though. Maybe she didn't see it,maybe she just felt she didn't want to meet again because she didn't feel the same way as you and didn't feel she could say it. Maybe she is disingenuous. Only she knows why she decided she didn't want to stay in touch. Like when this happens to anyone on here there is always a reason why,you may just not know what it is. It doesn't automatically mean someone is disingenuous.
I know it it was me I'd probably have veried them after I had met them and moved on when it didn't go as I thought after. In fact I've done that a few times over the years. It's not a big deal. |
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Just because she was online does not mean she is avoiding you.Maybe she got a crazy number of messages and just didn't get to them.
She might be busy with other things.
Give it time And see before you write her off.
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Personally I’ve stopped giving verifications after coffee meets and wait till I’ve met the person a few times or chatted for a good while.
People can come across as lovely and charming on a one hour coffee social but over time the manners and respect that you should give every person is forgotten about. |
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I think you should verify her so we can all see who it was. You've made a song and dance about it now so c'mon it with it. It's Friday and the weather is miserable we need something here to keep the spirits up over the wknd  |
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"I recently met up with someone from here for a chat while I was in there area, they were absolutely lovely to chat to and she said she would like to meet me on Thursday, well Thursday has come and past and any attempt Ive made to contact her was ignored even when seeing her online. Anyways my question is, she was asking for folk to verify her and after meeting just to say hello I was going to but seeing as since then she totally blanked me so Ive decided not to leave a verification. What would others do in this situation. Cheers "
Just verify her, and move on. |
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"Personally I’ve stopped giving verifications after coffee meets and wait till I’ve met the person a few times or chatted for a good while.
People can come across as lovely and charming on a one hour coffee social but over time the manners and respect that you should give every person is forgotten about. "
Especially if they're looking for something that you're not exactly willing to give.. |
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I always write a verification. It's to verify that person is real and genuine. Its an expression of gratitude that someone took time out of a busy life to spend time with you. Its a nice gesture to get one, even nicer when it's reciprocated |
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By *233Man 34 weeks ago
Belfast |
Hate coffee meets it would be a no from me
I'm more arrange meet at either mine or yours chat more openly without awkwardness of the nosy folk, and verts saying great meet stuck in a room were you can hardly say what yous both like and want outta meeting each other,
And if both are comfortable let the kissing begin
Just my opinion
P.s my coffee or tea would be alot more enjoyable |
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By *aseylee324Couple 34 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
I'd say if you hadn't already verified her, why on earth would you do so if she's now blanking you?
Beyond that, you're wasting way more energy on mulling over it than it was ever worth. Forget her, move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 34 weeks ago
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"I'd say if you hadn't already verified her, why on earth would you do so if she's now blanking you?
Beyond that, you're wasting way more energy on mulling over it than it was ever worth. Forget her, move on."
after reading all the replies, which I'm happy to of seen.. that's exactly what I've done. It's not skin off my back as here is a learning experience. |
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